The Showdown

[Cramulus]

Here's a short story I've been working on for a while. I'm trying to get back into the swing of fiction writing. This is a comedy about two futuristic cowboys (?) engaged in a neverending feud. Enjoy!

http://www.scribd.com/doc/26944637/The-Showdown

[Reginald Ret]

HaHAAAAA!
that was great
you have been spending too much time on the internet though :P

on page 3:

Rex's hair as the milk dripped into the
bucket. Without Pepper, the bucket
wouldn't be quite as full today. 

Shouldn't wouldn't be won't?
like this:

Rex's hair as the milk dripped into the
bucket. Without Pepper, the bucket
won't be quite as full today.

[Cramulus]

Shouldn't wouldn't be won't?

nope, I don't think so.

glad you liked it though!

Hay cram, any chance of a link plain .txt version with no columns so I can read it on my kindle if its not too much bother at all please?

if you click the download link on the scribd page, you can choose to download it as a plain txt. 

[Triple Zero]

sounds awesome, will read this later.



(and Regret, afaik "won't" is short for "will not be" but not for "would not be")

[The Wizard]

Nice. This was good. Didn't see the end coming, though I did expect both of them to die.

[Cramulus]

BUMP - I just re-read this for the first time since like March, and zang, this shit's bananas!


a few places could use some rewriting... perhaps expand the ending a bit more. And Hank's dialogue should get more drawly - less "I'm going to get you!" and more "Imma gonna get ye!"

[Doktor Howl]

Here's a short story I've been working on for a while. I'm trying to get back into the swing of fiction writing. This is a comedy about two futuristic cowboys (?) engaged in a neverending feud. Enjoy!

http://www.scribd.com/doc/26944637/The-Showdown

Nannywall.   

Hit youtube and listen to "Two Gunslingers" by Tom Petty.

[Cramulus]

not sure if this'll get past a firewall, but here's the file: http://ifile.it/vi6ok03

[Doktor Howl]

not sure if this'll get past a firewall, but here's the file: http://ifile.it/vi6ok03

Nope.

I'll look at it at home.

[P3nT4gR4m]

This is fucking awesome!!! Type formatting is off in places (seems italics are screwing things up) but the story ... fucking brilliant!

[Cramulus]

Thanks man!

were there any parts of it that worked particularly well, or not particularly well?

[P3nT4gR4m]

Think it all worked fine. The whole way you handled the concept stuff with the animals made it for me. I was simultaneously pissing myself laughing and in awe of your fucked up imagination.

[Cramulus]

  thanks again

I'd like to think that this story makes the events of Pac Man and Miss Pac Man make a little more sense.

[Cramulus]

oh, and posted to my blaggg: http://cramul.us/2010/10/the-showdown/

[Eater of Clowns]

I thought it was great fun.  Sad as fuck, for some reason, when the kid is all upset about the broken boob.  But my favorite part was when you just outright said that it was jizz that they were drinking, because the whole story I, and I'm sure other readers, were thinking "jizz.  they're drinking jizz.  IT'S JIZZ."  Coming out and saying it just made it hilarious.