Big as a house

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

(Sorry for the self-indulgent tripe. I haven't written in over a year and I'm rusty. Seems like a good starting point.)

Every Sunday at ten am
the kids go away
and I fall apart.

No, this is what happens;
I make him bacon and coffee
and we say goodbye to the kids
and we we go back to bed
and make sexytime
then we drive up the Gorge
to go hiking.

Or we just hang out
and get a little work done
and get a little stoned
and play Civillization.

That's how it really goes.
But for the last four months
after my children leave
I sit at my desk
with a fist of grief
as big as a house
inside my chest.

I am trying to figure out
what my heart is holding onto
so hard.

[Luna]

Ow, Nigel.  Just... ow.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I've become pathetic.

[Luna]

I've become pathetic.

No...  Not really.  You've identified the question.

Write the next verse.

Answer it.

[Thurnez Isa]

I've become pathetic.

No...  Not really.  You've identified the question.

Write the next verse.

Answer it.

or better yet leave it open

[Luna]

I've become pathetic.

No...  Not really.  You've identified the question.

Write the next verse.

Answer it.

or better yet leave it open

For the sake of art, the thing can be left open.  For the sake of Nigel, though, she needs to resolve it, I'm thinking.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Yeah.

And it takes time to grieve a loss, ANY loss. A lot more time than society seems to allot for these things.

[Luna]

Yeah.

And it takes time to grieve a loss, ANY loss. A lot more time than society seems to allot for these things.

You're not kidding, Anna.  Even when the guy has been an utter shit, and you SHOULD be happy he's gone (talking in general, here, not taking a swing at Mr. Language or anyone else), it takes time to get over...  Sometimes, you're not getting over HIM...  You're getting over the person you'd hoped he was.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I guess it's only been four months.

And for a year, we were inseparable. We practically lived up each other's butts. Our relationship has more private in-jokes than I have with most of my friends, some of whom I've known for over 20 years.

Where is my concubine? Where, where, where?

I know what I'm hanging on to. I'm hanging on to the potential we had. The potential of being romantic partners in life with my best friend. The potential of being with someone who knew me that intimately and still loved me; I could think his thoughts, he could feel my feelings.

We never had a chance.

[Luna]

I guess it's only been four months.

And for a year, we were inseparable. We practically lived up each other's butts. Our relationship has more private in-jokes than I have with most of my friends, some of whom I've known for over 20 years.

Where is my concubine? Where, where, where?

I know what I'm hanging on to. I'm hanging on to the potential we had. The potential of being romantic partners in life with my best friend. The potential of being with someone who knew me that intimately and still loved me; I could think his thoughts, he could feel my feelings.

We never had a chance.

It'll take time.  Give yourself the gift of that time, figure out exactly what it is you were missing...  THEN go find it elsewhere.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I guess it's only been four months.

And for a year, we were inseparable. We practically lived up each other's butts. Our relationship has more private in-jokes than I have with most of my friends, some of whom I've known for over 20 years.

Where is my concubine? Where, where, where?

I know what I'm hanging on to. I'm hanging on to the potential we had. The potential of being romantic partners in life with my best friend. The potential of being with someone who knew me that intimately and still loved me; I could think his thoughts, he could feel my feelings.

We never had a chance.

It'll take time.  Give yourself the gift of that time, figure out exactly what it is you were missing...  THEN go find it elsewhere.

It's not what we were missing so much as that we got together too close on the heels of his last relationship, and I have insecurity issues. The combination was poison. By the time he was ready to really commit to the relationship I was so neurotic that I could no longer see it.

Bad timing, really.

[Luna]

I guess it's only been four months.

And for a year, we were inseparable. We practically lived up each other's butts. Our relationship has more private in-jokes than I have with most of my friends, some of whom I've known for over 20 years.

Where is my concubine? Where, where, where?

I know what I'm hanging on to. I'm hanging on to the potential we had. The potential of being romantic partners in life with my best friend. The potential of being with someone who knew me that intimately and still loved me; I could think his thoughts, he could feel my feelings.

We never had a chance.

It'll take time.  Give yourself the gift of that time, figure out exactly what it is you were missing...  THEN go find it elsewhere.

It's not what we were missing so much as that we got together too close on the heels of his last relationship, and I have insecurity issues. The combination was poison. By the time he was ready to really commit to the relationship I was so neurotic that I could no longer see it.

Bad timing, really.

Regret the timing, grieve the loss.  Understand what went wrong, and try not to make the mistake again.

Me, I've been pretty careful not to get involved again anytime soon, coming off a relationship that lasted close to 15 years...  Anybody I'd care enough about to get involved with does not deserve the mess that I've been the past year and a half.

But, I'm getting better.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Yeah, I think it's going to be a while for me too.

[Luna]

Yeah, I think it's going to be a while for me too.

Take the time.  No sense making the mistake he did, be ready for something new.

[Doktor Howl]

I've become pathetic.

Naw.  If you're still feeling emo in June of 2012, THEN you can think you're pathetic.

Dok,
STILL isn't all the way over The Girl, and it's been 25 years.