...European Front Vol 6: Lessons in International Finance

[Efrim]

Dispatch from the European Front Vol. 6

We,Äôll always have Paris.
-Casablanca   

I would like to preface this entry by saying that Roger is not the only one on this board to be involved in smuggling contraband. Naturally,  I took several bottles of Absinthe, but that is a fairly small offense, many customs officials may even ignore such a transgression were they to observe it. This is not the smuggling I refer to.


After a few days of Madrid, Douglas and I started backtracking. We took an early morning train to Barcelona with the intent of taking a plush night train back to Paris (one has an urge for French decadence after going through the Spanish train beast). I didn,Äôt see Douglas too much while I was in Barcelona. He rose uncharacteristically early in the mornings and departed the hostel we stayed at without a sound. Whenever I saw him he would make a blanket statement saying that he was ,Äúcatching up with old friends,Äù


Like Amsterdam, Barcelona is too brutal for more then a few days of visiting. Many better men then I have been left behind here; victims of the brutal combination of the balmy Mediterranean and the intense nightlife. Only a native could comprehend the pace, foreigners collapse for lack of sleep after less then a week. I was not happy to leave, but I was grateful for the rest.


As I boarded the train I noticed something very strange. Douglas was actually carrying luggage. I was never without my black and red backpack (which identified me as a Discordian representative of Amnesty International).      

,ÄúAnd what would be in that fine new briefcase of yours?,Äù

,ÄúJust some rare books I picked up. I bought them off that old friend I mention,Äù

,ÄúVery nice. What did you manage to get off the poor sucker?,Äù

,ÄúOh, not anything of tremendous value. Just the usual,Äù

After a few hours of riding, I forgot entirely about the briefcase. As we approached the French border a few guards came through the carriage and inquired about luggage. This is a new safety check on trains where they point to each bag on the carriage and ask who it belongs to. Any unclaimed luggage is immediately dealt with. I claimed my luggage as did Douglas and I presented my passport and responded to questions as to why I was in Europe...etc etc etc.


When we got back to Paris we went back to Douglas,Äô dingy apartment and he began to unload his books out of the briefcase.


,ÄúQuite a return on this little run; quite a return.,Äù

,ÄúWhat are you talking about? These don,Äôt look to be in very good condition...the binding on this one is all torn.,Äù

,ÄúWell, yes....but the content is most interesting,Äù

As I opened the book I found the center of the pages to be hollowed out, in this hole of missing pages was two plastic bags filled with what struck me as hash. I turned around with the bag in my hand and held it in front of Douglas with a look of open shock on my face.

,ÄúOh, come on now, Efrim. You didn,Äôt really think there was money to be had in Finnigan,Äôs wake essays, did you?,Äù

,ÄúYou could have gotten me in a lot of trouble, what the fuck were you thinking, man? You didn,Äôt even tell me!,Äù

,ÄúWould have just been a lot of unnecessary stammering and sweating in front of the customs officers. Believe me, I did you a favor.,Äù

,ÄúFuck off.,Äù

,ÄúI,Äôd watch that....Now come on, let,Äôs forget about all of this over a few pints. I,Äôm not going to be traveling with you anymore, I,Äôve got things to do now that I,Äôm back home.,Äù

,ÄúFine. But that was some serious bullshit you pulled on me.,Äù

Douglas just laughed and we headed out to the pub. Waiting for us there were several of Douglas,Äô clientele: A group of about 6 medical students. Over the coarse of the evening Douglas and I resolved our issues and I found myself getting along very well with the medical students. One of them, Pierre, spoke very good English and acted as my translator to the group. At the end of the night my drunken mind haze parted long enough to realize that I had no place to stay outside of Douglas,Äô house, which I did not want to return to.


I ended up going home with the medical students that night. Douglas got in a fight and took off in a hurry  when he realized he was out-gunned. I never got a proper goodbye with Douglas, just some drunken mumbling...and I think that is the way it was meant to be. Needless to say, I never drank that much again.


As the sun came up over the horizon I saw the gardens of the Pitie-Salpetriere hospital, where I would spend the next week of my life. Unfortunetly, those who ran the hospital could never be told about my presence in the dorms so there was still the issue of somehow breaking in at 4:30 in the morning....

[sakredchao]

was it good hash?

mmmm..  hash.

[Efrim]

I didn't have any. They mix joints with tobacco in Europe (or at least the students and everyone else I met did) and I hate tobacco so I passed.

[Efrim]

Since its come up, I'd like to note that I don't use drugs outside the occasional use of pot or hash. There's also alcohol....

[sakredchao]

mixing hash with stuff like tobacco is lame..  
come on europe, hash pipes.
mmm  sweet sweet hash

kim

[Schweinepriester G.]

#|

[Wishfarple]

I was going to ask why you were commenting out a pipe at first.  Good pun, sirrah.

[Schweinepriester G.]

studying bash.org has finally paid off

[sakredchao]

yeah that is a good pun...

oh man, i have no idea what's going on.
i don't even know my own name.

[Horab Fibslager]

as far as hash goes only kif is worht smokin in my books, but hten again it's nto quite tghe same thign as hash is either...

[Bella]

I've been waiting for more of your adventures in Europe, Efrim.

I'd say you lucked out on this one.......and I sure don't blame you for not wanting to go back to Douglas's once you realized how much trouble he could have gotten you into.

This reminds me of when I was in college and my roommate, Becky (who looked a lot like me) was always wanting to borrow my clothes and bags and stuff. Turns out she was selling pot and wanted to make sure I was the one arrested if she was ever identified and traced back to our room. Our relationship took a serious turn for the worse when I figured it out. I kicked her out and she married her supplier and went to live in a huge house on the beach.

Yup, I sure fixed her.

[sakredchao]

keif is good..  but hash can be made from trim..  so, it's either hash or butter.  and butter spoils easily.

kim