12 Steps of Hivemind

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

   1.   We admitted we were powerless over artificial light - that our lives had become unmanageable.
   2.   Came to believe that reason must be abandoned.
   3.   Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of Hallucination as hivemind understands it.
   4.   Made a searching and hivemind moral inventory of ourselves.
   5.   Admitted to hivemind, to ourselves, and to a human vegetable on life support, the exact nature of our wrongs via interpretive dance.
   6.   Were entirely ready to suck veiny driftercock to have hivemind remove all these defects of character.
   7.   Humbly asked hivemind to remove portions of our brain.
   8.   Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to lick the anuses of even irredeemable shitnecks.
   9.   Made direct lingual contact with the pink puckering poopnozzles of such shitnecks wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
   10.   Continued to take personal inventory and when hivemind was wrong, hivemind was too incompetent to realize it.
   11.   Sought through writing letters to the Tooth Fairy and sitting for long periods looking serene as fuck, to improve our conscious contact with Hallucination as hivemind understood it, writing only for knowledge of hivemind's will for us and the wireless Tesla power generator to carry that out.
   12.   Having had a smug level power-up of +1 as the result of these steps, hivemind tried to carry this message to artificial light, and to practice these principles every time the queen bee's odors diminish.

[DiscoUkulele]

Great! I love it!

[frogsicle]

  Not sure I entirely get it, but I am pretty sure it's a insult to bees ants and other naturally hive minded critters to be compared to humans acting mindlessly. Nice.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

Thanks guys.

[Cain]

Very nice.  I've thought for a while these guy's program needed to be targeted a little more, but couldn't think of a way to go about it.  This works very well.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

Thanks, Cain.

[hooplala]

Yeah this needs to be spread around, a lot of people just swallow 12-step programs without questioning what is behind it.  I criticized AA one night at a party and had two ladies ready to string me up... "IT WORKS!" was their basic argument to everything I said.

[Doktor Howl]

Yeah this needs to be spread around, a lot of people just swallow 12-step programs without questioning what is behind it.  I criticized AA one night at a party and had two ladies ready to string me up... "IT WORKS!" was their basic argument to everything I said.

12-steppers are an afront to the Blood God.

[Richter]

"IT WORKS" also justifies lobotomy, half ass car fixes, many forms of government, and otherwise senseless laws.

Khorne will be brought his fill.

[Freeky]

Yeah this needs to be spread around, a lot of people just swallow 12-step programs without questioning what is behind it.  I criticized AA one night at a party and had two ladies ready to string me up... "IT WORKS!" was their basic argument to everything I said.

I saw some statistics once, don't know if they were any good or even where I got them from, that said that 12-step programs had about as much success as going cold turkey alone. Also, isn't AA big on God and Jesus and all that?

[LMNO]

AA was born from a 6-step Christian program.  It still has all the signifiers of religion.

Also, the dropout rate of AA is extremely high.  Those that remain are the ones that it works for.

To quote Anchorman, "60% of the time... it works every time."

AA self-selects for the people who it will work for.  Which is a smaller overall total of drunks in the world.

[AFK]

I put 12 step programs in the category of "if nothing else is available".  Whether that means it physically isn't available or you can't afford it.  But 12-step programs don't really hold much of a candle to a practice that is evidence-based. 

[Freeky]

AA was born from a 6-step Christian program.  It still has all the signifiers of religion.

Also, the dropout rate of AA is extremely high.  Those that remain are the ones that it works for.

To quote Anchorman, "60% of the time... it works every time."

AA self-selects for the people who it will work for.  Which is a smaller overall total of drunks in the world.

That was it.

Also, Anchorman! Lol!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I have a powerful loathing of the Cult of AA and its ilk. My mom started going when I was about 12, and while she did indeed quit drinking, she adopted a whole host of other horribly dysfunctional behaviors, all thoroughly supported by the AA culture. It's fucking rotten, through and through. She made me go to Alateen and Al-anon meetings for years, and I hated all of it.

They have this whole elaborate structure set up to justify themselves and demonize everyone else, ESPECIALLY people who control their alcoholism without them. They call them "Dry drunks". The whole chip, and falling-from-grace thing, too... I always thought that it was fucked up that someone could be sober for ten years and then have a glass of wine, and "lose their time". Have to "hand in their chip". WTF is that? Total mind-control cultist bullshit, is what. I could see it's a hierarchical, self-serving system that treats adults like children when I was a child myself, and it sickens me.

[Triple Zero]

AA was born from a 6-step Christian program.  It still has all the signifiers of religion.

Also, the dropout rate of AA is extremely high.  Those that remain are the ones that it works for.

To quote Anchorman, "60% of the time... it works every time."

AA self-selects for the people who it will work for.  Which is a smaller overall total of drunks in the world.

Someone already linked this in another thread, but it's somewhat relevant:

http://lesswrong.com/lw/lr/evaporative_cooling_of_group_beliefs/

(Also, it's just good stuff so if this extra link makes someone read it who might not otherwise, its extra good)