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BIG MAN PLANS

Started by Doktor Howl, April 14, 2015, 08:24:41 PM

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Doktor Howl

When I am rich, I will make Tom Selleck shave off his mustache using only his tears for shaving cream.
Molon Lube

Eater of Clowns

When I am rich, I will have the drop bear genetically engineered.

When I am rich, I will bring water to Tucson just to spite it.

When I am rich, the hedge maze will be equal parts Escher, Giger, and Seuss.
Quote from: Pippa Twiddleton on December 22, 2012, 01:06:36 AM
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 07, 2014, 01:18:23 AM
EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

Quote
the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

Cain

When I am rich, I will hire Thomas Friedman to write essays, under the pretence of being a new newspaper.

In actuality, his essays will be used as advanced examples of how not to write English, for my English as a Foreign Language business empire.

Demolition Squid

When I am rich I will buy all the oil and store it in barrels shaped like dinosaurs. Then I will give them a good Christian burial.

Never again the burning times.  :argh!:
Vast and Roaring Nipplebeast from the Dawn of Soho

Doktor Howl

Quote from: Demolition Squid on April 14, 2015, 09:00:55 PM
When I am rich I will buy all the oil and store it in barrels shaped like dinosaurs. Then I will give them a good Christian burial.

Never again the burning times.  :argh!:

:lulz:
Molon Lube

Don Coyote

When I am rich, I will buy enough latex to finally protect Portland from the menace that shall remain nameless because I am not rich therefore lack the latex to protect even myself.

Junkenstein

QuoteWhen I am rich, I will bring water to Tucson just to spite it.

You know exactly how this will end. It'd be like that Ice palace/rink that got built in Turkmenistan(?). Shit idea. On so many levels. Where-ever that one was, all it did was cause malaria and mosquitos to spread like fuck.

And this insane fucker wants to do this. To Tucson.

WHAT THE FUCK WOULD SPREAD FROM TUCSON. WHAT. WHAT. EVIL AND HELL IS FUCKING WHAT.

I honestly don't know how much evidence you puppet fuckers need before you do what must be fucking done and string up the false mexico for his string of offences and continued plotting of offences against humanity on what is clearly intended to be a global scale causing death, famine, panic and the simultaneous spread of Gene and Richard Simmons DVDS to collections worldwide.

Any civilised society would have skinned him from their fingernails, slowly. Your restraint causes questions on your moral character.

We shall discuss Roger in due course. We first need to find a jury of "peers" that can later be convicted accordingly.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

Don Coyote

Quote from: Junkenstein on April 14, 2015, 09:23:02 PM
QuoteWhen I am rich, I will bring water to Tucson just to spite it.

You know exactly how this will end. It'd be like that Ice palace/rink that got built in Turkmenistan(?). Shit idea. On so many levels. Where-ever that one was, all it did was cause malaria and mosquitos to spread like fuck.

And this insane fucker wants to do this. To Tucson.

WHAT THE FUCK WOULD SPREAD FROM TUCSON. WHAT. WHAT. EVIL AND HELL IS FUCKING WHAT.

I honestly don't know how much evidence you puppet fuckers need before you do what must be fucking done and string up the false mexico for his string of offences and continued plotting of offences against humanity on what is clearly intended to be a global scale causing death, famine, panic and the simultaneous spread of Gene and Richard Simmons DVDS to collections worldwide.

Any civilised society would have skinned him from their fingernails, slowly. Your restraint causes questions on your moral character.

We shall discuss Roger in due course. We first need to find a jury of "peers" that can later be convicted accordingly.

Have you ever seen reconstituted 100% natural thousand year old organically dried coyote poop dust?

Eater of Clowns

Quote from: Junkenstein on April 14, 2015, 09:23:02 PM
QuoteWhen I am rich, I will bring water to Tucson just to spite it.

You know exactly how this will end. It'd be like that Ice palace/rink that got built in Turkmenistan(?). Shit idea. On so many levels. Where-ever that one was, all it did was cause malaria and mosquitos to spread like fuck.

And this insane fucker wants to do this. To Tucson.

WHAT THE FUCK WOULD SPREAD FROM TUCSON. WHAT. WHAT. EVIL AND HELL IS FUCKING WHAT.

I honestly don't know how much evidence you puppet fuckers need before you do what must be fucking done and string up the false mexico for his string of offences and continued plotting of offences against humanity on what is clearly intended to be a global scale causing death, famine, panic and the simultaneous spread of Gene and Richard Simmons DVDS to collections worldwide.

Any civilised society would have skinned him from their fingernails, slowly. Your restraint causes questions on your moral character.

We shall discuss Roger in due course. We first need to find a jury of "peers" that can later be convicted accordingly.

When I am rich, this man is my voice in all matters. His symbol of office will be a meteorite iron crowbar.

When I am rich, Lillie shall sit upon a throne of chair arms.
Quote from: Pippa Twiddleton on December 22, 2012, 01:06:36 AM
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 07, 2014, 01:18:23 AM
EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

Quote
the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

Doktor Howl

Quote from: Junkenstein on April 14, 2015, 09:23:02 PM
QuoteWhen I am rich, I will bring water to Tucson just to spite it.

You know exactly how this will end. It'd be like that Ice palace/rink that got built in Turkmenistan(?). Shit idea. On so many levels. Where-ever that one was, all it did was cause malaria and mosquitos to spread like fuck.

And this insane fucker wants to do this. To Tucson.

WHAT THE FUCK WOULD SPREAD FROM TUCSON. WHAT. WHAT. EVIL AND HELL IS FUCKING WHAT.

I honestly don't know how much evidence you puppet fuckers need before you do what must be fucking done and string up the false mexico for his string of offences and continued plotting of offences against humanity on what is clearly intended to be a global scale causing death, famine, panic and the simultaneous spread of Gene and Richard Simmons DVDS to collections worldwide.

Any civilised society would have skinned him from their fingernails, slowly. Your restraint causes questions on your moral character.

We shall discuss Roger in due course. We first need to find a jury of "peers" that can later be convicted accordingly.

When I am rich, I will build an amusement park just for Junkie.  The Scrambler will extend through the concertina wire, and the roller coaster will not feature seat belts.

And he will share his new paradise with Meghan Kelly.
Molon Lube

Doktor Howl

When I am rich, I will have Gordon Ramsey write children's books.
Molon Lube

Junkenstein

Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 14, 2015, 09:41:26 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on April 14, 2015, 09:23:02 PM
QuoteWhen I am rich, I will bring water to Tucson just to spite it.

You know exactly how this will end. It'd be like that Ice palace/rink that got built in Turkmenistan(?). Shit idea. On so many levels. Where-ever that one was, all it did was cause malaria and mosquitos to spread like fuck.

And this insane fucker wants to do this. To Tucson.

WHAT THE FUCK WOULD SPREAD FROM TUCSON. WHAT. WHAT. EVIL AND HELL IS FUCKING WHAT.

I honestly don't know how much evidence you puppet fuckers need before you do what must be fucking done and string up the false mexico for his string of offences and continued plotting of offences against humanity on what is clearly intended to be a global scale causing death, famine, panic and the simultaneous spread of Gene and Richard Simmons DVDS to collections worldwide.

Any civilised society would have skinned him from their fingernails, slowly. Your restraint causes questions on your moral character.

We shall discuss Roger in due course. We first need to find a jury of "peers" that can later be convicted accordingly.

When I am rich, I will build an amusement park just for Junkie.  The Scrambler will extend through the concertina wire, and the roller coaster will not feature seat belts.

And he will share his new paradise with Meghan Kelly.

Bribery shall not work. Offers of becoming a glorified gateman to a deathtrap park appealing as they are, the list of alleged crimes against a range of non-required-to-be-specified entities (We all know what you did. And have done. And are still doing. Those poor geese.) is enough to warrant a luxury cell for one at the Gitmo Hilton. For fucks sake, there are people in there for just thinking about acts only half as indecent as we know you full well to have committed. The only reason you walk around free is that you're in an inescapable place requiring unreasonable effort to exist, let alone leave.

The rest of those clowns may think they're safe. I know it's only a matter of time until you strike again and these gutless fucks are doing nothing to stop it. Nothing at all.

For shame on you all, you bring forth your own doom through complacency.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

Doktor Howl

Quote from: Junkenstein on April 14, 2015, 09:50:19 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 14, 2015, 09:41:26 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on April 14, 2015, 09:23:02 PM
QuoteWhen I am rich, I will bring water to Tucson just to spite it.

You know exactly how this will end. It'd be like that Ice palace/rink that got built in Turkmenistan(?). Shit idea. On so many levels. Where-ever that one was, all it did was cause malaria and mosquitos to spread like fuck.

And this insane fucker wants to do this. To Tucson.

WHAT THE FUCK WOULD SPREAD FROM TUCSON. WHAT. WHAT. EVIL AND HELL IS FUCKING WHAT.

I honestly don't know how much evidence you puppet fuckers need before you do what must be fucking done and string up the false mexico for his string of offences and continued plotting of offences against humanity on what is clearly intended to be a global scale causing death, famine, panic and the simultaneous spread of Gene and Richard Simmons DVDS to collections worldwide.

Any civilised society would have skinned him from their fingernails, slowly. Your restraint causes questions on your moral character.

We shall discuss Roger in due course. We first need to find a jury of "peers" that can later be convicted accordingly.

When I am rich, I will build an amusement park just for Junkie.  The Scrambler will extend through the concertina wire, and the roller coaster will not feature seat belts.

And he will share his new paradise with Meghan Kelly.

Bribery shall not work. Offers of becoming a glorified gateman to a deathtrap park appealing as they are, the list of alleged crimes against a range of non-required-to-be-specified entities (We all know what you did. And have done. And are still doing. Those poor geese.) is enough to warrant a luxury cell for one at the Gitmo Hilton. For fucks sake, there are people in there for just thinking about acts only half as indecent as we know you full well to have committed. The only reason you walk around free is that you're in an inescapable place requiring unreasonable effort to exist, let alone leave.

The rest of those clowns may think they're safe. I know it's only a matter of time until you strike again and these gutless fucks are doing nothing to stop it. Nothing at all.

For shame on you all, you bring forth your own doom through complacency.

Gateman?  I intend for you to spend the rest of your life on the rides.

So, you know, about 10 minutes.
Molon Lube

Junkenstein

Well you're just thinking small, another crime on the list.

PACK THE SEATS. Do it right or not at all, let me shove free tickets down the mouths of every media entity that will take one for the grand opening.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

Doktor Howl

Quote from: Junkenstein on April 14, 2015, 09:57:10 PM
Well you're just thinking small, another crime on the list.

PACK THE SEATS. Do it right or not at all, let me shove free tickets down the mouths of every media entity that will take one for the grand opening.

When I am rich, people will not get off that easily.
Molon Lube