London Riots: An Alternate Juxtaposition

[Doktor Howl]

heard the best soundbyte on BBC radio this morning ---

interviewer was asking an MP if he thought the sentences being handed out were too harsh. They mentioned a guy that got a six month sentence for stealing five pounds worth of bottled water.

"No, we have to send a strong message that this sort of thing won't be tolerated in our country," proudly pronounced the MP.

"But just a few weeks ago, we were talking with you about an MP who essentially looted five thousand pounds and only got a two month sentence. What kind of message do you think that sends?"

"Well the thing is," said the MP, not missing a beat, "that he did that within a series of laws -- a series of laws that the MPs created, sure, but technically no rules were broken."

I FUCKING LOVE THIS CENTURY!

[Scribbly]

Two guys are getting four year sentences for trying to incite riots on Facebook that never actually came to anything.

The justification was that their words caused shock and panic.

I guess we should pray they never find out about the worst forum on the internet. 

[Doktor Howl]

Two guys are getting four year sentences for trying to incite riots on Facebook that never actually came to anything.

Perry Sutcliffe-Keenan, 22, didn't even incite.  He made a joke.

[Scribbly]

There's nothing funny about the riots, Dok. It is only right that we lock these uncivilized brutes away for years, until they've learned to show proper respect for the seriousness of the times. What if their brand of so-called humour infected the rest of society? This kind of badwrong speech cannot be condoned under any circumstances. It is undoubtedly part of the moral sickness which is killing our great nation.




See? Nothing funny at all.

[Doktor Howl]

 

[Cain]

The best (and most accurate) take on the riots:

http://markalmondoxford.blogspot.com/2011/08/arab-governments-alarmed-by-crackdown.html

AliBababa News Agency (10.30 am Mekka/ 10am GMT) – "Londonistan in Flames – People overpower Bourgeois Police State."

Londonistan – The bourgeois minority regime of Cameron, Clegg and Crony has been shaken by widespread People Power demonstrations across Britain for a third night running. Summertime protests have sent a chill wind of hope through Britain's long repressed people. "Fear of the police has gone," dissident youth leaders claim. "It's a free for all society now or never."


King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia has broken his silence by warning the regime not permit rioting to reach Saudi sovereign territory in the Mayfair district of the British capital and to introduce reforms at once. Other world leaders have joined the chorus of condemnation of the increasingly isolated Cameron clique. The Syrian foreign minister, Walid Haged, has welcomed the joint condemnation of Cameron's regime by the Arab League and African Union and suggested the UN Security Council should authorise all necessary means to stop repression by regime thugs of the street protests. Analysts expect the ban on heroin exports to Britain announced jointly by Afghanistan and Burma could add to the pressure-cooker atmosphere in Britain which is 100% dependent on narcotics imports.

The regime has pinned its hopes for international legitimacy on next year's Londonistan Olympic Games which were controversially awarded to bourgeois Britain despite signs that its economy was overheating and popular anger against the regime rising. Threats of a boycott by the highly-regarded Omani-burka clad beach volley ball team could be a humiliation too far for Cameron's clique.

Reports of foreign interference in the British crisis have been rejected by expert analysts. Instead domestic tensions are seen as the only cause .The Yemeni professor of protestology, Bahce Kewi, explains "The ruling Consumerist Party finds that thirty years of its strict ideological dominance has not bred a docile youth. Young people are aware of a cyber-world beyond Britain where values like free access to the internet are normal. They can't wait to join the cashless society and get their hands on stuff for nothing."

Rejecting the empty slogans "You Can't Buck the Market" and "There is No Alternative," indignant youth across Britain have stormed the ruling regime's local headquarters setting fire to symbols of Consumerist dominance and removing telecommunications and internet monitoring equipment from branches of the feared Curry's organization in towns across the country.

With unverifiable but plausible reports of more than a thousand deaths in the Arsenal district of north Londonistan where a crowd estimated at a million strong overwhelmed the hated Met riot squads to occupy the Consumer Electronic Outlets Center, its seems likely that the popular protests could spread from the simmering suburbs even to previously loyal uptown areas like Kensington and Cholsey where many regime supporters have their luxurious barricaded villas.

You really have to read the whole thing, though.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

The best (and most accurate) take on the riots:

http://markalmondoxford.blogspot.com/2011/08/arab-governments-alarmed-by-crackdown.html

AliBababa News Agency (10.30 am Mekka/ 10am GMT) – "Londonistan in Flames – People overpower Bourgeois Police State."

Londonistan – The bourgeois minority regime of Cameron, Clegg and Crony has been shaken by widespread People Power demonstrations across Britain for a third night running. Summertime protests have sent a chill wind of hope through Britain's long repressed people. "Fear of the police has gone," dissident youth leaders claim. "It's a free for all society now or never."


King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia has broken his silence by warning the regime not permit rioting to reach Saudi sovereign territory in the Mayfair district of the British capital and to introduce reforms at once. Other world leaders have joined the chorus of condemnation of the increasingly isolated Cameron clique. The Syrian foreign minister, Walid Haged, has welcomed the joint condemnation of Cameron's regime by the Arab League and African Union and suggested the UN Security Council should authorise all necessary means to stop repression by regime thugs of the street protests. Analysts expect the ban on heroin exports to Britain announced jointly by Afghanistan and Burma could add to the pressure-cooker atmosphere in Britain which is 100% dependent on narcotics imports.

The regime has pinned its hopes for international legitimacy on next year's Londonistan Olympic Games which were controversially awarded to bourgeois Britain despite signs that its economy was overheating and popular anger against the regime rising. Threats of a boycott by the highly-regarded Omani-burka clad beach volley ball team could be a humiliation too far for Cameron's clique.

Reports of foreign interference in the British crisis have been rejected by expert analysts. Instead domestic tensions are seen as the only cause .The Yemeni professor of protestology, Bahce Kewi, explains "The ruling Consumerist Party finds that thirty years of its strict ideological dominance has not bred a docile youth. Young people are aware of a cyber-world beyond Britain where values like free access to the internet are normal. They can't wait to join the cashless society and get their hands on stuff for nothing."

Rejecting the empty slogans "You Can't Buck the Market" and "There is No Alternative," indignant youth across Britain have stormed the ruling regime's local headquarters setting fire to symbols of Consumerist dominance and removing telecommunications and internet monitoring equipment from branches of the feared Curry's organization in towns across the country.

With unverifiable but plausible reports of more than a thousand deaths in the Arsenal district of north Londonistan where a crowd estimated at a million strong overwhelmed the hated Met riot squads to occupy the Consumer Electronic Outlets Center, its seems likely that the popular protests could spread from the simmering suburbs even to previously loyal uptown areas like Kensington and Cholsey where many regime supporters have their luxurious barricaded villas.

You really have to read the whole thing, though.

Oh that was good. 

[Scribbly]

Fuckers on Radio 4 made my blood boil this morning.

Girl who stole two mismatched trainers (both left feet; her explanation being that she wound up swept up in a crowd, the shutter of a shop trapped her in there, and just picked up stuff from the floor in a panic to try and defend herself) has been sentenced to ten months in prison, probably ruining her chances of joining the RAF as she had planned.

This is apparently perfectly acceptable because it is a 'deterrent' that will prevent such behaviour in the future.

Because obviously, destroying the few career chances of desperate people who were rioting largely because of a sense of helplessness and hopelessness in their economic situation is going to be a fantastic deterrent.

As predicted, the actual causes of the london riots are not even going to be acknowledged by mainstream politicians. I hope there's a repeat; we deserve it.

[Cain]

This is not surprising.  Actually being able to defend yourself in London is crime enough, I've have students coming to me to complain that they cannot buy forks from local stores, because of fears they would be able to be used as a weapon.  Londoners from here on out will not be allowed to purchase or have access to anything which could be used as a weapon - which essentially means everything.

[Scribbly]

This is not surprising.  Actually being able to defend yourself in London is crime enough, I've have students coming to me to complain that they cannot buy forks from local stores, because of fears they would be able to be used as a weapon.  Londoners from here on out will not be allowed to purchase or have access to anything which could be used as a weapon - which essentially means everything.

Also, the idiot who was talking about how great a deterrent it is (wish I had made a note of his name) was saying that HE had been stopped and searched twice in Westminster, and it really isn't all that bad so people should just shut up and let the police do their job, because they are Keeping Us Safe.

I'm sure the people who are stopped and searched forty times a month (mysteriously usually only young black men) can understand that. It isn't like the police only seem to harass and beat them and the people they know, after all. They perform a number of other important services. Like gunning down plumbers and people sitting in cars.

[Cain]

I've been stopped and searched once and I'm still pissed off about it.  And it happened three years ago. 

[Scribbly]

Wasn't sure whether to make a new thread or not but...

Secretly, Albermarle & Bond's Croydon branch was torched during the London Riots. This was hushed up by the company who have, today, confirmed that £4 mil in gold jewellery has been successfully recovered from the burned out ruins. 

The criminal underworld got wind of the existence of these safes, and made attempts to try and put together a heist by pretending to be journalists. I can only assume that Jason Stratham and Vinnie Jones were not available, though, because in the end it seems to have come to nothing.

For some reason this whole situation makes me laugh, possibly the fact that there really was £4 million in buried treasure in the heart of London for a time.