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He was a pretty good teacher, but he's also batshit insane and smells like ferret pee.

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Five word horror

Started by Rococo Modem Basilisk, April 04, 2015, 05:45:47 PM

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Prelate Diogenes Shandor

#255
April 12, 2016, 06:29:57 AM
Where did my eyes go?
Praise NHGH! For the tribulation of all sentient beings.

a plague on both your houses -Mercutio

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrTGgpWmdZQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVWd7nPjJH8

It is an unfortunate fact that every man who seeks to disseminate knowledge must contend not only against ignorance itself, but against false instruction as well. No sooner do we deem ourselves free from a particularly gross superstition, than we are confronted by some enemy to learning who would plunge us back into the darkness -H.P.Lovecraft

He who fights with monsters must take care lest he thereby become a monster -Nietzsche

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHhrZgojY1Q

You are a fluke of the universe, and whether you can hear it of not the universe is laughing behind your back -Deteriorata

Don't use the email address in my profile, I lost the password years ago

Brother Mythos

#256
April 12, 2016, 06:43:48 AM
I'm only here to help.
Discordianism is fundamentally mischievous irreverence.

Q. G. Pennyworth

#257
April 12, 2016, 12:09:58 PM
So, there are a lot of these that could be useful as marginalia, or we could slap everything into an itty-bitty book?

Folks who've contributed, what do you think?

Someone's got the Holies again.

LMNO

#258
April 12, 2016, 01:30:32 PM
Or, if you're feeling especially creative....

Quote from: LMNO on April 10, 2015, 05:53:44 PM
Ok, I think this helps.




It all started pleasantly enough.  Yesterday, the shadow grew again.  Strange shapes blackened the sky.  The walls kept changing color.  There's something outside the window.  Her eyes widened in anticipation.  It was an insular community.  We thought they were dead.  But they were dead, yesterday...  There wasn't time to scream. 

The sun didn't rise today.  No one sees color here.  They don't remember the difference.  It is inside the house.  That night, I wasn't alone.  A voice said, "You die". There shouldn't be visitors tonight.  Didn't I lock this door?

I spoke into the silence.  "I'm not usually like this.  I can't feel my legs." 

She said, "I got this."  She had too many teeth.  Time slowed to a stop.  "This won't hurt a bit."  The anesthesia didn't quite work.  The scab came off again.  It had been an eye.  Below, rows of sharp teeth.  I think those are teeth.  "It's curable, for a price."

My voice seemed far away.  "I can't find the baby.  I have these horrible urges." 

"They know, they just don't care."  Her eyes followed the wound.  "This isn't my real face." 

But there was no face...

Junkenstein

#259
April 12, 2016, 02:30:27 PM
 :mittens:
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

Ziegejunge

#260
April 12, 2016, 05:23:55 PM
 :mittens:

POFP

#261
April 13, 2016, 01:17:37 AM
Holy fuck yes.
This Certified Pope™ reserves the Right to, on occasion, "be a complete dumbass", and otherwise ponder "idiotic" and/or "useless" ideas and other such "tomfoolery." [Aforementioned] are only responsible for the results of these actions and tendencies when they have had their addictive substance of choice for that day.

Being a Product of their Environment's Collective Order and Disorder, [Aforementioned] also reserves the Right to have their ideas, technologies, and otherwise all Intellectual Property stolen, re-purposed, and re-attributed at Will ONLY by other Certified Popes. Corporations, LLC's, and otherwise Capitalist-based organizations are NOT capable of being Certified Popes.

Battering Rams not included.

Brother Mythos

#262
April 14, 2016, 02:08:54 PM
What harm could it do?
Discordianism is fundamentally mischievous irreverence.

Q. G. Pennyworth

#263
April 14, 2016, 02:27:01 PM
Best Christmas orphans ever had.

Prelate Diogenes Shandor

#264
April 15, 2016, 04:19:51 AM
Where did the town go?
Praise NHGH! For the tribulation of all sentient beings.

a plague on both your houses -Mercutio

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrTGgpWmdZQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVWd7nPjJH8

It is an unfortunate fact that every man who seeks to disseminate knowledge must contend not only against ignorance itself, but against false instruction as well. No sooner do we deem ourselves free from a particularly gross superstition, than we are confronted by some enemy to learning who would plunge us back into the darkness -H.P.Lovecraft

He who fights with monsters must take care lest he thereby become a monster -Nietzsche

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHhrZgojY1Q

You are a fluke of the universe, and whether you can hear it of not the universe is laughing behind your back -Deteriorata

Don't use the email address in my profile, I lost the password years ago

Meunster

#265
April 15, 2016, 12:27:16 PM
The room with the knifes
Poe's law ;)

POFP

#266
April 15, 2016, 07:54:20 PM
My favorite, covered in chocolate.
This Certified Pope™ reserves the Right to, on occasion, "be a complete dumbass", and otherwise ponder "idiotic" and/or "useless" ideas and other such "tomfoolery." [Aforementioned] are only responsible for the results of these actions and tendencies when they have had their addictive substance of choice for that day.

Being a Product of their Environment's Collective Order and Disorder, [Aforementioned] also reserves the Right to have their ideas, technologies, and otherwise all Intellectual Property stolen, re-purposed, and re-attributed at Will ONLY by other Certified Popes. Corporations, LLC's, and otherwise Capitalist-based organizations are NOT capable of being Certified Popes.

Battering Rams not included.

Brother Mythos

#267
April 16, 2016, 01:03:04 PM
This nightmare will never end.
Discordianism is fundamentally mischievous irreverence.

Prelate Diogenes Shandor

#268
April 18, 2016, 05:51:17 AM Last Edit: April 18, 2016, 06:31:59 AM by Prelate Diogenes Shandor
He's too rich to convict

EDIT:

Procrustes is gonna get you!
Praise NHGH! For the tribulation of all sentient beings.

a plague on both your houses -Mercutio

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrTGgpWmdZQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVWd7nPjJH8

It is an unfortunate fact that every man who seeks to disseminate knowledge must contend not only against ignorance itself, but against false instruction as well. No sooner do we deem ourselves free from a particularly gross superstition, than we are confronted by some enemy to learning who would plunge us back into the darkness -H.P.Lovecraft

He who fights with monsters must take care lest he thereby become a monster -Nietzsche

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHhrZgojY1Q

You are a fluke of the universe, and whether you can hear it of not the universe is laughing behind your back -Deteriorata

Don't use the email address in my profile, I lost the password years ago

POFP

#269
April 18, 2016, 03:34:34 PM
They ran out of rolls.
This Certified Pope™ reserves the Right to, on occasion, "be a complete dumbass", and otherwise ponder "idiotic" and/or "useless" ideas and other such "tomfoolery." [Aforementioned] are only responsible for the results of these actions and tendencies when they have had their addictive substance of choice for that day.

Being a Product of their Environment's Collective Order and Disorder, [Aforementioned] also reserves the Right to have their ideas, technologies, and otherwise all Intellectual Property stolen, re-purposed, and re-attributed at Will ONLY by other Certified Popes. Corporations, LLC's, and otherwise Capitalist-based organizations are NOT capable of being Certified Popes.

Battering Rams not included.
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