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It's like that horrible screech you get when the microphone is positioned too close to a speaker, only with cops.

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Brit Spags! So Jim fixed it...

Started by Mangrove, October 23, 2012, 08:23:22 PM

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Pope Pixie Pickle

Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on April 19, 2013, 02:13:46 PM
Yeah, I gotta confess to not remembering much about him, other than that "Chalky" shit

yea, I kind of remember him as equally offensive to women and minorities.

Junkenstein

I remember the shitstain all too well.

He had(has) a similar level of wit and comedy to Bernard manning. His "act" was essentially watered down Roy "Chubby" Brown.

Not to my tastes.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

Mangrove

What makes it so? Making it so is what makes it so.

Junkenstein

Freddie Starr arrested again, seperate similar allegations.

Not the most fortuitous turn of events. I suspect Max Clifford is pulling in every favour he's owed right now. Been quite quiet on him.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

Junkenstein

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-22313286

AND FUCK YOU TOO CLIFFORD.

This man is an exemplary example of so many things that are fucking wrong and evil about UK media.

QuotePR guru Max Clifford has been charged with 11 indecent assaults allegedly committed between 1966 and 1985.

The alleged offences relate to seven different women and girls ranging in age from 14 to 19 years old.

Mr Clifford, 70, from Surrey, who says the allegations are "completely false", will appear in court next month.

He was arrested in Operation Yewtree - set up after claims were made against Jimmy Savile - although his arrest was unrelated to the former BBC DJ.

Operation Yewtree has three strands. One concerns Savile's crimes exclusively, while another relates to allegations against Savile and others.

The third strand, under which Mr Clifford was arrested, concentrates on accusations unconnected to the Savile investigations but which emerged as a result of the publicity surrounding Savile.

Mr Clifford was not charged over three further allegations as there was "insufficient evidence to authorise charges", the Crown Prosecution Service said.

Mr Clifford denied the allegations against him.

He said: "The allegations in respect of which I have been charged are completely false and I have made this clear to the police during many, many hours of interviews.

"Nevertheless a decision has been taken to charge me with 11 offences involving seven women, the most recent of which is 28 years ago and the oldest 47 years ago.

"I have never indecently assaulted anyone in my life and this will become clear during the course of the proceedings."

How many favours with the police do you have left Max? Not enough I hope.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

Junkenstein

Context goodness regarding Starr and Clifford, this one just a mild example of how he operates. Favour and story trading is his actual profession. Don't publish A about B, have this much more compelling (will sell more) story about Y doing Z.

QuoteOn 13 March 1986, The Sun carried as its main headline: "Freddie Starr Ate My Hamster" - one of the best known of all British tabloid newspaper headlines. According to the story invented by Clifford, Starr had been staying at the home of Vince McCaffrey (who was co-writing Starr's biography at the time), and his 23-year-old girlfriend Lea La Salle in Birchwood, Warrington, Cheshire when the incident took place. Starr was alleged to have returned home from a performance at a Manchester nightclub in the small hours of the morning and demanded that La Salle make him a sandwich. When she refused, he went into the kitchen and put her pet hamster, 'Supersonic', between two slices of bread and proceeded to eat it.[1]
Clifford counter spun the story the next day, when he flew with a journalist from The Sun to Starr's home in Waltham St Lawrence, Berkshire with another hamster the newspaper had called Sandwich, which was photographed with claimed vegetarian Starr. Starr now admits in interviews that this story was untrue, but brought him much-needed publicity for his forthcoming tour.[1]
The story was one of the first examples where, rather than PR agents managing what went into the media or confirming a journalist's storyline, Clifford created a fast-selling story which he sold to the media, and its counter line follow-up. As a result, it brought Clifford to the British public's attention.[1] Clifford and Starr ended their connection shortly afterwards, and Clifford later used background material to fuel the media story lines around Starr's later revelations during his divorce of wife battering, alcoholism, and drug taking.[1]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Max_Clifford

I have no idea why, but his wikipedia page seems a little..... biased? Must just be because he's such a good guy.

QuoteClifford has since represented various clients, including former Liverpool left-wing politician Derek Hatton, for whom Clifford created an affair in order to change his image;[1] Rebecca Loos, when she negotiated with the press about her alleged affair with England football captain David Beckham;[1] and Jade Goody, in the period of the reality star's cervical cancer and death. The media publicising the dangers of cervical cancer after Goody's diagnosis with the disease is credited with improving the uptake of cervical smears in the UK.[13]
Clifford represents Gillian McKeith, saying of her doctorate in nutrition potentially being misconstrued as a medical degree by viewers of her advertisements: "personally, I wish it had never been mentioned. She never needed it, and it's done nothing but cause her embarrassment."[14]
Journalist Louis Theroux followed Clifford in the BBC Two 2002 programme When Louis Met... Max Clifford During filming, it appeared that Clifford was trying to set up Theroux during a PR stunt in Sainsbury's. It backfired after Clifford was heard on his microphone lying, unaware it was still on

Google any of the above for typically british media shitstorm, mundane, banal pathetic cash grabs at the expense of dignity. No prizes for guessing who suggested making said facts known in the first place as loudly as possible. Enjoy the forthcoming shitty ghost written  "book from jail". You'll see that within a year of conviction. The "My side" a couple of years later.

Or we may be lucky and a shanking will occur. Pray for stabby inmates.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

Cain

I also wonder if Clifford is being targeted because, well, if you want someone who may know the dirty secrets of Britain's celebrities, he is a pretty good candidate.*

He's probably a shitneck too, but just saying, there may be more to this than simple policing.

*Among other people, which I'm sure the Met will not enquire about at all because they are outside the scope of the investigation and the Met have no interest in wielding political power.  Har har har.

Junkenstein

There's no doubts whatsoever that the shitbag knows where a lot of bodies are buried. And where things are stashed. He's pretty much one of the big keepers of secrets for a small number of very high profile celebs and many F-Z list celebs. I'd credit him with creating categories J-R personally, but that would imply some kind of achievement. This level of "fame" is typically established on a minor event and the "personality" of the random person it occurred to becomes key. If they're saleable in some way, great. Got a talent? Better. Dark past? Fucking wonderful, come here and lets get you coked up for a night on the town.

There's a decent documentary on this which details some of the more blatant fleet street links and story trading.

The potential implications about child abuse are nothing compared to the drug knowledge he'll have, I'd guarantee that.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

Junkenstein

For fun, you may want to try this some time:

QuoteWhen will I get paid?
You will get your money by cheque or paid direct to your bank within a few weeks of your story appearing in the paper.
In very exceptional circumstances we may be able to make a payment to charity or pay you in cash.

Can I sell videos?

Yes, we pay for exclusive videos too.

Call 0207 782 4645 or e-mail sunvideo@newsint.co.uk to sell your video clips.

What kind of stories is The Sun looking for?

Anything you can see being published in the paper. From celebrity exclusives to medical miracles to cheating politicians, we want your stories on all of them.

We also love heart-warming real stories about our amazing readers, so if you've triumphed over tragedy, give us a call.


"3AM" or whatever the celeb gossip column of a typical rag is called make these "Cash exceptions" all the time as the jurno's and paps need to get to where some nobody is having a drink. The clients they are used to dealing with tend to demand around £50-70 per encounter to reveal the location of the "celeb". More if more famous, more if more intoxicated.

But why typically £50-70? Well I'm told this will reliably purchase a certain amount of a certain substance that would probably make you very awake at 3AM......

As to the quoted, get any old shitty tabloid. Leave it alone for a week. Think of a good halloween costume you've seen. Pick a random nobody out of the paper around 10-11 at night, call that number. You think they're on a stag do at X. Wait near X. Watch journalist arrive.

You have options at that point. Get creative.

I do this every time I'm in London. Let me know your results.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

Junkenstein

#129
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-22379286

QuoteBroadcaster Stuart Hall has admitted 14 charges of indecently assaulting girls including one as young as nine.

The 83-year-old from Wilmslow, Cheshire pleaded guilty at Preston Crown Court to the offences, involving 13 victims, which occurred between 1967 and 1985.

A further three charges of indecent assault and one of rape have been left to lie on the court file.

His lawyer said Hall apologised to his victims and added: "He is all too aware that his disgrace is complete."

He has been bailed until sentencing on 17 June.

'Opportunistic predator'
Hall admitted the offences last month but they could not be revealed due to reporting restrictions.

Chief Crown Prosecutor for the North West, Nazir Afzal, described Hall as an "opportunistic predator".

He added: "We prosecuted Stuart Hall because the evidence of the victims clearly established a pattern of behaviour that was unlawful and for which no innocent explanation could be offered.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

P3nT4gR4m

I hate this whole story because it strongly suggests that fucking 9 year olds is a lot more popular than I'd given credit for. I'm not sure if this is just within a specific celebrity subset or the population as a whole. If it's the latter then I'd thank you for leaving me blissfully ignorant of this fact  :argh!:

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

Pope Pixie Pickle

Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on May 02, 2013, 12:23:26 PM
I hate this whole story because it strongly suggests that fucking 9 year olds is a lot more popular than I'd given credit for. I'm not sure if this is just within a specific celebrity subset or the population as a whole. If it's the latter then I'd thank you for leaving me blissfully ignorant of this fact  :argh!:

I'd say the latter, mate.

and of course a lot of sex offenders like to use status and seeming respectability  as a cover for their crimes. 9 out of 10 rapists are someone known to the victim.

P3nT4gR4m

Quote from: Pixie on May 02, 2013, 01:08:02 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on May 02, 2013, 12:23:26 PM
I hate this whole story because it strongly suggests that fucking 9 year olds is a lot more popular than I'd given credit for. I'm not sure if this is just within a specific celebrity subset or the population as a whole. If it's the latter then I'd thank you for leaving me blissfully ignorant of this fact  :argh!:

I'd say the latter, mate.


Well thanks for giving my, already bordering on sociopathic, mysanthropy the shot in the arm it so desperately needed  :evilmad:

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

Junkenstein

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-22476937

UK police investigate themselves, verdict: Innocent.

QuoteA West Yorkshire Police report has found "no evidence" Jimmy Savile was protected from arrest or prosecution by his relationship with the force.

But it highlighted an "over-reliance on personal friendships" between Savile and some officers, and said "mistakes were made" in handling intelligence.

The force's assistant chief constable admitted "we did fail victims".

Hundreds of allegations of abuse by the former BBC entertainer emerged after his death in October 2011.

Speaking after publication of the report, Assistant Chief Constable Ingrid Lee said: "They didn't know, the people engaged with Jimmy Savile, that actually there were these allegations against him. That's what our investigations found out.

"There clearly was information available that we should have tied together and we did fail victims in relation to tying that evidence together and we should have done.

"If he were alive today, there's absolutely no doubt that he would have had a number of questions to answer."

These people say this shit with a straight face and everything. Tom Cruise would sacrifice Hubbard himself for that kind of acting talent.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

Junkenstein

Also, Stuart Hall now in jail after admitting multiple offences.

Prisoners rumoured to hum this upon his arrival:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5hExLsJlaI

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-22429904

Jimmy Tarbuck also arrested. I've got a bad feeling now about Roy Castle.

Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.