My Life Story: an Introduction. (TL;DR)

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I'm telling ya, Shtik, there was this one time we were WAY DOWN DEEP, trying to avoid Nazi Hell Creature depth charges, and I kept telling Nigel, "We're running out of air", and she just kept giggling and poking LMNO - who was DRIVING - right in the back of the neck with a spork.  I finally said fuck it, and told Hirley0 "BLOW THE BALLAST TANKS", but he just said "No."

So I did, because the little candle we had lit was going out on account of the bad air.  So, anyways, we breach the surface next to highway I-10, on the shoulder, and the damn drill bit spins out.  Curly was kinda new, and I couldn't stop him before he opened the hatch.  The overpressure blew him right out of the conning tower like a cork.  What could we do?  The sand critters had him the moment he landed, and they started tossing him around, like a cat will with a mouse. 

He didn't even scream, he just shouted "It's just the pills, Roger!  It's always the pills", and then they tore him to shreds.  I haven't had a good night's sleep since.

Sometimes when I'm out there in the dark alone, I swear I can still hear Curly's last scream.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I'm telling ya, Shtik, there was this one time we were WAY DOWN DEEP, trying to avoid Nazi Hell Creature depth charges, and I kept telling Nigel, "We're running out of air", and she just kept giggling and poking LMNO - who was DRIVING - right in the back of the neck with a spork.  I finally said fuck it, and told Hirley0 "BLOW THE BALLAST TANKS", but he just said "No."

So I did, because the little candle we had lit was going out on account of the bad air.  So, anyways, we breach the surface next to highway I-10, on the shoulder, and the damn drill bit spins out.  Curly was kinda new, and I couldn't stop him before he opened the hatch.  The overpressure blew him right out of the conning tower like a cork.  What could we do?  The sand critters had him the moment he landed, and they started tossing him around, like a cat will with a mouse. 

He didn't even scream, he just shouted "It's just the pills, Roger!  It's always the pills", and then they tore him to shreds.  I haven't had a good night's sleep since.

Sometimes when I'm out there in the dark alone, I swear I can still hear Curly's last scream.

Me, too.  It was something like "AAAIIEEEEEE, THESE TEABAGGERS ARE A SURLY BUNCH!  AAAIIEEEE!"

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I'm telling ya, Shtik, there was this one time we were WAY DOWN DEEP, trying to avoid Nazi Hell Creature depth charges, and I kept telling Nigel, "We're running out of air", and she just kept giggling and poking LMNO - who was DRIVING - right in the back of the neck with a spork.  I finally said fuck it, and told Hirley0 "BLOW THE BALLAST TANKS", but he just said "No."

So I did, because the little candle we had lit was going out on account of the bad air.  So, anyways, we breach the surface next to highway I-10, on the shoulder, and the damn drill bit spins out.  Curly was kinda new, and I couldn't stop him before he opened the hatch.  The overpressure blew him right out of the conning tower like a cork.  What could we do?  The sand critters had him the moment he landed, and they started tossing him around, like a cat will with a mouse. 

He didn't even scream, he just shouted "It's just the pills, Roger!  It's always the pills", and then they tore him to shreds.  I haven't had a good night's sleep since.

Sometimes when I'm out there in the dark alone, I swear I can still hear Curly's last scream.

Me, too.  It was something like "AAAIIEEEEEE, THESE TEABAGGERS ARE A SURLY BUNCH!  AAAIIEEEE!"

I still think of him out there, stranded, with nothing for companionship but a Teabilly's daughter...

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I'm telling ya, Shtik, there was this one time we were WAY DOWN DEEP, trying to avoid Nazi Hell Creature depth charges, and I kept telling Nigel, "We're running out of air", and she just kept giggling and poking LMNO - who was DRIVING - right in the back of the neck with a spork.  I finally said fuck it, and told Hirley0 "BLOW THE BALLAST TANKS", but he just said "No."

So I did, because the little candle we had lit was going out on account of the bad air.  So, anyways, we breach the surface next to highway I-10, on the shoulder, and the damn drill bit spins out.  Curly was kinda new, and I couldn't stop him before he opened the hatch.  The overpressure blew him right out of the conning tower like a cork.  What could we do?  The sand critters had him the moment he landed, and they started tossing him around, like a cat will with a mouse. 

He didn't even scream, he just shouted "It's just the pills, Roger!  It's always the pills", and then they tore him to shreds.  I haven't had a good night's sleep since.

Sometimes when I'm out there in the dark alone, I swear I can still hear Curly's last scream.

Me, too.  It was something like "AAAIIEEEEEE, THESE TEABAGGERS ARE A SURLY BUNCH!  AAAIIEEEE!"

I still think of him out there, stranded, with nothing for companionship but a Teabilly's daughter...

And then

And then

And then

Curly was stranded with them, and after God knows how many years, he broke down and mated with them, granting their offspring a rudimentary intelligence.  Nobody saw it coming, the bastards just sort of snuck into think tanks and corporate boards and school districts.

And THAT, children, is how the Morlocks got started.  And that is why we hide at night, when the big bronze doors open.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Curly is still out there, but he ain't Curly anymore. He can't stop laughing, but it isn't a nice laugh.

[Shtik]

I will not even pretend to understand the madness that has become this thread. This is the part where I back away slowly...

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I will not even pretend to understand the madness that has become this thread. This is the part where I back away slowly...

THIS ISN'T GONNA BE YOUR CENTURY, BUBBA.

Just saying.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Curly is still out there, but he ain't Curly anymore. He can't stop laughing, but it isn't a nice laugh.

Balls.  Curly taught me how to laugh again.  His way.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I mean, Shtik, this thread is the TL;DR of your life, right?

EITHER:

     We are merely, via allegory, trying to explain what the next few years of your life will be.

OR:

     I'm all fucked up on Benzos. 


Either way, don't fight it.  You'll just get high blood pressure and acid reflux.

[Shtik]

OR there's a weird inside joke going on that is supposed to go right over my head.

In any case, high blood pressure just makes me look buff, and I don't take acid. Not since last time... *shivers*

[The Good Reverend Roger]

OR there's a weird inside joke going on that is supposed to go right over my head.

Um, nope.  It's an old gag, a well-worn and comfortable bit, but there's really nothing to get.

Unless you mean this:

http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php/topic,33665.msg1221546.html#msg1221546
http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php/topic,33666.msg1221566.html#msg1221566
http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php/topic,33667.msg1221587.html#msg1221587
http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php/topic,33680.msg1222223.html#msg1222223
http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php/topic,33723.msg1223989.html#msg1223989

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Curly is still out there, but he ain't Curly anymore. He can't stop laughing, but it isn't a nice laugh.

Balls.  Curly taught me how to laugh again.  His way.

And now you have too many teeth, and people can't stop telling you how much they never think about you all the time.

Coincidence?

I don't think so.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Curly is still out there, but he ain't Curly anymore. He can't stop laughing, but it isn't a nice laugh.

Balls.  Curly taught me how to laugh again.  His way.

And now you have too many teeth, and people can't stop telling you how much they never think about you all the time.

Coincidence?

I don't think so.

It's fucking AMAZING, Nigel.  People take great pains to go out of their way to tell me how much they never think about me.

And these teeth?  They are Teeth With Which To Eat.  GRINNING is just a side effect.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Curly is still out there, but he ain't Curly anymore. He can't stop laughing, but it isn't a nice laugh.

Balls.  Curly taught me how to laugh again.  His way.

And now you have too many teeth, and people can't stop telling you how much they never think about you all the time.

Coincidence?

I don't think so.

It's fucking AMAZING, Nigel.  People take great pains to go out of their way to tell me how much they never think about me.

And these teeth?  They are Teeth With Which To Eat.  GRINNING is just a side effect.

I like that they have to remind you, often, that they never think about you, in case you forget.

And what do you eat with all those teeth of yours, Roger?



ACTUALLY WAIT NO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T TELL ME.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Curly is still out there, but he ain't Curly anymore. He can't stop laughing, but it isn't a nice laugh.

Balls.  Curly taught me how to laugh again.  His way.

And now you have too many teeth, and people can't stop telling you how much they never think about you all the time.

Coincidence?

I don't think so.

It's fucking AMAZING, Nigel.  People take great pains to go out of their way to tell me how much they never think about me.

And these teeth?  They are Teeth With Which To Eat.  GRINNING is just a side effect.

I like that they have to remind you, often, that they never think about you, in case you forget.

And what do you eat with all those teeth of yours, Roger?



ACTUALLY WAIT NO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T TELL ME.

CEASAR HAD YOUR TROUBLE, NIGEL,
WIDOWS HAD TO CRY
WHILE MERCENARIES IN CLOISTERS SING
AND THE KING MUST DIE.

But Kings are kinda thin on the ground these days, so I mostly eat Indian food.