News:

"We don't make the apocalypse, we make the apocalypse better."

Main Menu

I can't even...

Started by The Wizard Joseph, October 22, 2014, 09:33:53 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

The Wizard Joseph


So my job is a giant bucket of mouldering dicks that I appearantly must chew down like they're bratwurst while smiling and ensuring everyone that they are just de-lightful.

I can't even discuss openly the problems that I have with my work place with my own coworkers. I was just repremanded by some admin person for speaking to a couple guys working the cafeteria line about how the hospital is, once yet again, without needed linen. After days of short supply. "Customers could hear" she said.  Like she was quoting scripture I clearly needed in my life. I said "I'm sorry. I guess earnesty has it's drawbacks" I'm reasonably sure emails will be sent for that second bit.
The cafeteria guys asked ME. There were no customers around.  Just an eavesdropping fuckwit.

It's upsetting to me to see an organization with its head so totally shoved up ass that it can't see any problem with the fact that it's totally blind.

The view must be marvelous in there.
They know what's going on.
There are open door policies.

If there was a problem it would be brought up, right?
Except in conversation with co-workers of course. Can't have that. People could hear. Folks might make informed decisions that do not benefit the hospital. It's about what's good for the business.  There's bratwurst available in the cafeteria today.

No for real... $3.60, top quality, excellent flavor!
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
- Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

"It's not even chaos anymore. It's BANAL."
- Doktor Hamish Howl

Junkenstein

Just checking, "Open door policy" still means "Open invitation to screaming row and being fired", right?

And Bravo for not just asking "Who?" in increasing volumes.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

Q. G. Pennyworth

Quote from: a somewhat wiser Joe. on October 22, 2014, 09:33:53 PM

My job is a giant bucket of mouldering dicks that I appearantly must chew down like they're bratwurst while smiling and ensuring everyone that they are just de-lightful.

May I steal this for a Big Words poster?

The Wizard Joseph

Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on October 22, 2014, 11:14:45 PM
Quote from: a somewhat wiser Joe. on October 22, 2014, 09:33:53 PM

My job is a giant bucket of mouldering dicks that I appearantly must chew down like they're bratwurst while smiling and ensuring everyone that they are just de-lightful.

May I steal this for a Big Words poster?
Sure! It's not conditional, but I would like a copy if possible.
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
- Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

"It's not even chaos anymore. It's BANAL."
- Doktor Hamish Howl

The Wizard Joseph

Quote from: Junkenstein on October 22, 2014, 09:44:18 PM
Just checking, "Open door policy" still means "Open invitation to screaming row and being fired", right?

And Bravo for not just asking "Who?" in increasing volumes.
I wish they would fire me. Then the DOCUMENTATION they don't expect from a laborer will come into play and they may reassess from there. I love surprises!
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
- Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

"It's not even chaos anymore. It's BANAL."
- Doktor Hamish Howl

Q. G. Pennyworth

Quote from: a somewhat wiser Joe. on October 23, 2014, 01:12:58 AM
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on October 22, 2014, 11:14:45 PM
Quote from: a somewhat wiser Joe. on October 22, 2014, 09:33:53 PM

My job is a giant bucket of mouldering dicks that I appearantly must chew down like they're bratwurst while smiling and ensuring everyone that they are just de-lightful.

May I steal this for a Big Words poster?
Sure! It's not conditional, but I would like a copy if possible.

As you saw in the other thread, small size files all get posted here. I can email you the larger files (they are 300 dpi at A0 poster size) or you can ask Junkie really really nice if he'll print you out a batch. If you are okay with me using it commercially, I will also PM you a link to the store so you can see it mocked up on all kinds of neat shit.

The Wizard Joseph

aquote author=Q. G. Pennyworth link=topic=36913.msg1360913#msg1360913 date=1414165938]
Quote from: a somewhat wiser Joe. on October 23, 2014, 01:12:58 AM
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on October 22, 2014, 11:14:45 PM
Quote from: a somewhat wiser Joe. on October 22, 2014, 09:33:53 PM

My job is a giant bucket of mouldering dicks that I appearantly must chew down like they're bratwurst while smiling and ensuring everyone that they are just de-lightful.

May I steal this for a Big Words poster?
Sure! It's not conditional, but I would like a copy if possible.

As you saw in the other thread, small size files all get posted here. I can email you the larger files (they are 300 dpi at A0 poster size) or you can ask Junkie really really nice if he'll print you out a batch. If you are okay with me using it commercially, I will also PM you a link to the store so you can see it mocked up on all kinds of neat shit.
[/quote]

that all sounds fine. I was mostly interested in seeing the work you did with it, but now that I see the other thread I know I'll get A look.
If I want a file I'll ask really nice! If you make money great, I don't get litigious and wouldn't unless you did something atrociously offensive with my words. Definitely no problem there!
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
- Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

"It's not even chaos anymore. It's BANAL."
- Doktor Hamish Howl

The Wizard Joseph


My work day yesterday found me already at my limit and then pushed me just that little bit extra that makes all the difference between thinking things like,

"I have a difficult and sometimes literally shitty job that I find to be worth doing"

and,

"FUCK ALL OF YOU GODDAMN FOOLS, GIBBERING ARSES, AND INCOMPETENT JACKOFFS!!"

It's a very fine line that you often only really realize that you've crossed after you've crossed it. It's the sort of line you generally only cross once for a relatively simple labor job at modest pay, but mine has brought me past it and back more times than I care to recount. It surely got crossed again yesterday.  I'll get to the dirty deets in a bit.  Indulge me as I vent a bit here and try to explain where I'm coming from.

One might ask of me,
"If you're such a wise, self-styled "Wizard" then why would you continue on with such a foolish and seemingly unrewarding occupation Joe?"

Not long ago I'd have just smiled and mentioned in all earnestness that I like knowing that my toil ultimately helps people and that working for a hospital gives me a sense of purpose and pride in my efforts. I might even point to the pragmatic facts that it's a solid foot in the door of a "top 100" hospital system and a multitude of potential career paths and that I have also gained invaluable, if occasionally quite unpleasant, experiences and sharpened many practical skills. That would all be true and sufficiently The Truth as an answer to the sort of question above, but it would not be all of The Truth. For that you'd have to ask me why I'd RAGE-QUIT.

That one is easy. I'd do that because I HATE failure, and I HATE MORE seeing people I work with as they ignore the duties and practices that make hospitals "safe" if it makes things marginally easier for them personally. I REALLY, REALLY HATE seeing things willfully ignored by management in my department, and others.

My own bosses have learned that I'm a documenting, leveraging, resourceful sonofagun, but also that as long as they stay true to their end of things and accountable I can be their sonofagun. I maintain very good working relationships with my bosses and we have excellent rapport, even some genuine personal respect. It might not be enough to keep me after the day I just had.

I'll spare the descriptions, but the day had been extra difficult with yet more "sick" call-outs and actual, legit folks who just lost a family member to boot.. Things had been hairy all day, but that's just how it goes sometimes. What put me well over the line was horribly disgusting but can be mercifully summed up as the result of the sorting operators' failure to do their jobs correctly and contaminating a wash load that I was unloading on the clean side of a contamination barrier wall to dry and ready for transport.  I had the huge load half unloaded when I realized that the load was contaminated and that I was damn well coated in it from the unloading process. It was ALL my power of self control not to vomit. I do this shit for a living. It was that bad.
The pics I took really can't do it justice, but they'll have to do.

I backed away and phoned my supervisor at home, after bringing several coworkers over as witnesses. My boss and I figured out the plan of action for a bit and I went to clean up both myself and the situation. Then I parked all the wash and dry machines, left 2 hrs early, and took the most thorough shower ever when I got home.
  I WILL be having a meaningful chat or 2 come Monday. No amount of money is worth this and it would have been easily prevented if folks had followed procedure.

That's just one recent and horribly notable incident.
I won't really be able to go into all of the things I've seen and dealt with.
I can't even...
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
- Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

"It's not even chaos anymore. It's BANAL."
- Doktor Hamish Howl

The Wizard Joseph

Again. Contaminated AGAIN. Same exact story. Going home early to wash up and then got folks to see. REALLY not sure how I'm ultimately going to react, but for now I'm just going to try to get re-centered, unless I truly can't even. So done with the shit. Only question is what now, and I'm in no condition to answer rationally... or even at all.
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
- Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

"It's not even chaos anymore. It's BANAL."
- Doktor Hamish Howl

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

That's fucked up, seriously.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


The Wizard Joseph

Quote from: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 11, 2015, 04:14:56 PM
That's fucked up, seriously.

The department manager came back from vacation and we had a chat. He tried to tell me that my decision to go home an hour or so early was not only the wrong thing, but also implied that since I was willing to get in my car and drive contamination was clearly not my main concern. He can go get fucked.

I had surgical gear in all dryers at the time, disgusting contaminated water on me from the waist up, and no change of uniform nor street clothes. I thought my decision quite reasonable, but apparently I was expected to shower in the locker room and grab whatever scrubs I could find. I told him I surely would do that "the next time that this thing that should never, ever happen happens again". I think he's trying to bury the problem and having HR scratching their heads wondering why I would suddenly just walk makes that difficult. Just a guess. I'm going to continue working, but have resolved to find something else after new year. Once I have an exit plan in place I'm likely going to use my company e-mail to send my documentation to several department heads and possibly outside agencies.

I'll let them sort things out for a change. Sample pic is one of my least disgusting, but on its own probably grounds for a few different legal suits.
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
- Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

"It's not even chaos anymore. It's BANAL."
- Doktor Hamish Howl

The Wizard Joseph

Going back over this after the events of today and thinking about the mountains of shit I haven't even written down has me wondering, almost astounded really, at my own ability to swallow shit for a living.

Think I'm done with the doing of that, at least for them.

I got into a shouting match with one of my co-workers that I find quite personally obnoxious. It got to an awful lot of GO FUCK YOURSELF and I was seeing a tiny little red spot where a person should be. It was time to walk away, and so I have.

I'm just finished entirely with the shit and although I sent up some texts and rattled a few cages I do believe I'm just going to walk.

Fuck their exit interviews, I've said my piece plenty of times. I'm not worried about my work history because I'm what you might call resourceful. If I work for myself half as hard as I have for these fuckers over the last four years I'll be fine. If I put in anything like the same effort for myself I'm sure I'll do marvelously.

It wasn't even started by anything worth snapping over in hindsight. In the end I just hate this particular fucker quite a bit and bear absolutely no joy in my work anymore.  It would be extremely unhealthy to continue, and I suspect that the real reason I haven't allowed myself to leave is simply an addiction to the reasonable certainty and comfort of a steady paycheck. I'll be happy to drop that and reach for something better... greener pastures.
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
- Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

"It's not even chaos anymore. It's BANAL."
- Doktor Hamish Howl

Q. G. Pennyworth


The Wizard Joseph

Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on March 17, 2016, 01:01:47 AM
Good for you!

:) Thanks for the encouraging words! There has to be an obscure word for a sense of relief felt by NOT knowing what's going to happen next. That's how I feel right now.
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
- Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

"It's not even chaos anymore. It's BANAL."
- Doktor Hamish Howl

Q. G. Pennyworth

Quote from: The Wizard Joseph on March 17, 2016, 01:15:29 AM
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on March 17, 2016, 01:01:47 AM
Good for you!

:) Thanks for the encouraging words! There has to be an obscure word for a sense of relief felt by NOT knowing what's going to happen next. That's how I feel right now.

Whatever it is, it is not what's behind you. Sometimes when you've been living and breathing horseshit for long enough, just knowing tomorrow will bring a different flavor of awful is enough.