UNLIMITED Arizona Hilarity thread

[Cain]

He's just lucky he wasn't demonstrating a flamethrower

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Um, guys?

ARIZONA

So, not so much a mistake as an escape attempt?

[Doktor Howl]

We have a sniper on I-10 between Tucson and Phoenix.  He hasn't managed to kill anyone yet, but he has managed to hit a few cars.  He takes one shot, then fucks off.  This has been going on for a couple of weeks.  Our Department of Public Safety has foolishly issued a $20,000 reward for information, etc, etc.

Now a "militia" has started "patrolling" the highway.  In cars and on foot.  With assault rifles.

The leader of the militia wears those contacts that make you look like your eyes are all whites.  He looks like an extra from the Warboys.  This may give you an indication of the mental state that these folks are in.

I love Arizona.  I love it so much I wish it could have everything it ever wanted.  Oh, wait.

[Cain]

Well, at the very least the sniper can practice his aim with the militia.  From the sounds of it, he's been noobing it up until this point.

[Doktor Howl]

Well, at the very least the sniper can practice his aim with the militia.  From the sounds of it, he's been noobing it up until this point.

Yeah, it's a lot harder to hit a moving target than you'd think.  Especially if he's firing from a vehicle.  Nobody knows.  I have heard - but not seen evidence - that they've found a bullet and ID'd it as being from a weapon bought in cash at a gun show, by someone who more or less used a fake name.

Fun fact:  If you go to a gun shop in Arizona, you have to show proper ID, and wait an hour for a laughable background check.

Fun fact:  If you go to a gun show in Arizona, it's cash and carry, no verification of any kind involved.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2015/11/03/1443745/-Arizona-man-arrested-after-leaving-granddaughter-in-the-desert-with-cocked-and-loaded-gun#

[Meunster]

Well, at the very least the sniper can practice his aim with the militia.  From the sounds of it, he's been noobing it up until this point.

Yeah, it's a lot harder to hit a moving target than you'd think.  Especially if he's firing from a vehicle.  Nobody knows.  I have heard - but not seen evidence - that they've found a bullet and ID'd it as being from a weapon bought in cash at a gun show, by someone who more or less used a fake name.

Fun fact:  If you go to a gun shop in Arizona, you have to show proper ID, and wait an hour for a laughable background check.

Fun fact:  If you go to a gun show in Arizona, it's cash and carry, no verification of any kind involved.

Hey same thing in kansas, private sales are even funner though.

[Junkenstein]

http://www.azcentral.com/story/news/local/phoenix/2016/05/31/joe-arpaio-contempt-hearing-fines-detainees-tuesday/85194194/?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link

U.S. District Judge G. Murray Snow had weighed potential penalties to be imposed against Arpaio, the next step after Snow's finding earlier this month that the lawman and three of his aides were in civil contempt of court.

But the judge stopped short of issuing any official orders, including whether he would refer Arpaio and his top brass at the Maricopa County Sheriff's Office to federal prosecutors for criminal-contempt proceedings.

At times, though, Snow seemed to telegraph that the answer would be yes.

He noted that the lawman's aides could be subject to a number of penalties — including termination — under the finding of civil contempt. But because Arpaio was an elected official, Snow's abilities to impose severe penalties on the lawman, whom Snow said he considered the "most culpable," were limited.

Attorneys spent the bulk of Tuesday arguing what types of reforms were appropriate for the office's internal-affairs unit. Snow's contempt ruling found that the current system was designed to excuse bad behavior rather than hold employees responsible.

Snow said he was inclined to hand over internal-affairs leadership to an outside party — whether it be to the monitor, himself or to another entity.

"I don't have confidence anymore about the direction of the Maricopa County Sheriff's Office," he said.

Snow saved the most contested topic of the day for last. He singled out Arpaio and Sheridan as the two he would "seriously consider" referring for criminal-contempt prosecution, and then added new allegations and new names to the list.

Snow then turned to Arpaio's criminal-contempt attorney Mel McDonald. He asked why the defense had proposed Arpaio pay $100,000 to a civil-rights organization and offer a public apology when such remedies were deemed insufficient last year at the outset of the contempt hearings.

McDonald noted that the offers still stood, but in addition to the other internal-affairs and victim-compensation proposals. The offers, he said, were an attempt to prove Arpaio had "skin in the game," and shouldn't face criminal-contempt charges.

Will someone make the appropriate sacrifices to the gods of Dramatic Irony ASAP please. I'll laugh myself sick if Joe ends up in one of his own camps suffering under his own regime. At this point I can't rule out the possibility of Joe suing himself.

[Cain]

Maybe the hope is to induce a heart attack.  Dude's 83 after all, even with his apparently endless supply of petty spite and malice he can't keep this up much longer.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Sheriff Joe will not only survive this, he'll have the Judge flayed alive on the courthouse steps.  He is unstoppable.  He is the devil himself.

[Template]

http://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/news/arizona-lawmaker-cecilia-velasquez-indicted-for-food-stamp-fraud-8396432

[Pergamos]

I am startled that someone on foodstamps, even fraudulently, was able to successfully run for the state senate.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I am startled that someone on foodstamps, even fraudulently, was able to successfully run for the state senate.

why?

[East Coast Hustle]

Running for office ain't cheap.

I tried once and it emptied me out and that was just a run at a selectmen position in a tiny town at the end of nowhere.

Also, here's this:

http://www.azcentral.com/story/news/local/arizona/2016/06/27/tucson-tv-reporters-charged-child-abuse/86454336/

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Running for office ain't cheap.

I know.  But this is Arizona.  Senior teabaggers will fund the younger/newer ones, if they spout enough Ayn Rand.