Open Bar: Funnier Than White People Practicing Voodoo

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Yeah Roger, that's some serious shit. Thoughts are with you. That must be really disorienting.

Thank you.  It is.

I'm adjusting, though.  It's not so bad.  When stacked up against Downs Syndrome, for example, this is really small potatoes.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

So, my health has been poor for the last few weeks.  The doctor sends me to the neurosurgeon.  The neurosurgeon tells me that my reticular formation is (and has been) "rewiring" itself.  It can't heal, but it can find new ways to use what's left.  This is normally a good thing, because it means that humans can recover from damn near anything.

However, the reticular formation basically acts as the brain's switchboard.  When it starts rewiring itself, that means that important signals get stepped on or interfered with, similar to "chatter" in data cables.  What this means in practical terms is that A.  I will get arrythmia to the point where I fall down if I'm standing, as well as B.  Sensory interference.  This can mean anything from numb limbs to hearing (balance, anyone?  Your brain isn't talking with your inner ear, check back in 30 seconds), to illusions.

Illusions are different from hallucinations in that you don't believe they exist.  The part of my brain that THINKS is unchanged (ie, still stupid), so when I see weird things (and by weird, I mean, HELLO, Ben Templesmith!), I just decide that it's this problem and ignore it.

The good news is, this didn't happen when I was younger, because it's happening far slower in my case and is less likely to, you know, have my brain just stop talking to my heart or lungs altogether.  The bad news is that it may take a little while for my brain to decide that it's done making repairs.  Like, say, 30 years or so.

The treatment course is "choke it down, sissy".  The best they can do is give me sedatives to make me feel better about it.

And if you know me at all, you know sedatives aren't really my style.

So this is what's been wrong with me for a while now.  Weeks.  Longer, really, but it's only just gotten bad this last spring.  I've been a bit of a hermit because I don't need ANY extra stress, and I wasn't going to deal with the latest version of holist.  Also, I've been super busy at work, as I have mentioned.

Thing is, there's been no time to write, so no stress relief.  So I am MAKING time to write, no matter how busy we are.  Next chapter in the PI story goes up sometime today.

I know this probably isn't very awesome from your perspective, but I think it's incredibly cool! I hope it doesn't actually take 30 years to rewire itself (just in time to die! Yay!). Does your city have any rehabilitators who work with neuroplasticity exercises? You usually find them in stroke centers, and working with one may be able to help you speed up the reassignment process with relatively simple (if weird as fuck) exercises. I know nothing about reticular formation plasticity, and there doesn't seem to be much written about it but a stroke rehabilitation expert would know.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Plus, if any of the exercises involve weird shit with mirrors, dancing, or singing, you could do them in your office and additionally traumatize your morale officer.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

So, my health has been poor for the last few weeks.  The doctor sends me to the neurosurgeon.  The neurosurgeon tells me that my reticular formation is (and has been) "rewiring" itself.  It can't heal, but it can find new ways to use what's left.  This is normally a good thing, because it means that humans can recover from damn near anything.

However, the reticular formation basically acts as the brain's switchboard.  When it starts rewiring itself, that means that important signals get stepped on or interfered with, similar to "chatter" in data cables.  What this means in practical terms is that A.  I will get arrythmia to the point where I fall down if I'm standing, as well as B.  Sensory interference.  This can mean anything from numb limbs to hearing (balance, anyone?  Your brain isn't talking with your inner ear, check back in 30 seconds), to illusions.

Illusions are different from hallucinations in that you don't believe they exist.  The part of my brain that THINKS is unchanged (ie, still stupid), so when I see weird things (and by weird, I mean, HELLO, Ben Templesmith!), I just decide that it's this problem and ignore it.

The good news is, this didn't happen when I was younger, because it's happening far slower in my case and is less likely to, you know, have my brain just stop talking to my heart or lungs altogether.  The bad news is that it may take a little while for my brain to decide that it's done making repairs.  Like, say, 30 years or so.

The treatment course is "choke it down, sissy".  The best they can do is give me sedatives to make me feel better about it.

And if you know me at all, you know sedatives aren't really my style.

So this is what's been wrong with me for a while now.  Weeks.  Longer, really, but it's only just gotten bad this last spring.  I've been a bit of a hermit because I don't need ANY extra stress, and I wasn't going to deal with the latest version of holist.  Also, I've been super busy at work, as I have mentioned.

Thing is, there's been no time to write, so no stress relief.  So I am MAKING time to write, no matter how busy we are.  Next chapter in the PI story goes up sometime today.

I know this probably isn't very awesome from your perspective, but I think it's incredibly cool! I hope it doesn't actually take 30 years to rewire itself (just in time to die! Yay!). Does your city have any rehabilitators who work with neuroplasticity exercises? You usually find them in stroke centers, and working with one may be able to help you speed up the reassignment process with relatively simple (if weird as fuck) exercises. I know nothing about reticular formation plasticity, and there doesn't seem to be much written about it but a stroke rehabilitation expert would know.

I am in fact seeing just such a specialist, at the UMC.  Mostly they're trying to keep my blood pressure stable, so I don't actually have a stroke or heart attack.

And it can be amusingly surreal, but also makes driving very interesting at times.  My doctor has decided that my condition does not warrant the revocation of my license, at least not yet.

Needless to say, I haven't told anyone at work about the illusions, and that's sort of a shame, because I'd love to tell Ernie about the angels.



Fun fact:  Angels an extremely common illusion seen by people with perception problems caused by brain damage, although the description of them varies from patient to patient.  The neurosurgeon guy explained why they think that is, but it was a bunch of gobbledygook to me.  The most common hallucination (which, thank God, I don't suffer from) tends to be persecution/paranioa, but that only makes sense.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Plus, if any of the exercises involve weird shit with mirrors, dancing, or singing, you could do them in your office and additionally traumatize your morale officer.

I do that deliberately, and blame it on the pills.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Well if it keeps producing writing of your usual standard, it's a price we're willing to pay.

Speaking of which, part 2 of My Girl Friday is up.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Plus, if any of the exercises involve weird shit with mirrors, dancing, or singing, you could do them in your office and additionally traumatize your morale officer.

I do that deliberately, and blame it on the pills.

Good point. But then you would have a PRESCRIPTION for it, and you could refer to it as "medicine".

Keep us posted... it's fascinating. I'm reading a book by Oliver Sacks about sensory hallucinations right now.

[Ben Shapiro]

On the plus side, I see a far better version of the world than you guys do.   

Does it involve fire?

[Suu]

I just ordered a one pound bag of Death Wish Coffee for myself and Richter to be consumed at Pennsic in a few weeks.


There will be a full report...or Luna taking us to the hospital. Not sure yet.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

On the plus side, I see a far better version of the world than you guys do.   

Does it involve fire?

No, but sometimes there are no right angles ANYWHERE.  And people leave tracers.  And shit that isn't even there annoys me.  BECAUSE I know it's NOT REALLY THERE.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I just got out of a meeting where we were discussing the near miss last week.

It illustrated a gigantic hole in our safety procedures.

So obviously, the management group spent 45 minutes arguing about which font to use in the report.

This is my life.  Where I live.

[LMNO]

Wait. People throwing off tracers isn't normal?

I mean, I know I did a lot of acid in the 90s, but still.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Also, while the tearout is going on in Building B, the rest of the management group is using the training room next door to my office as their communal office.

I don't think I need to say that I've been eating veggie burgers every day, so as to make the atmosphere unbreathable.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Wait. People throwing off tracers isn't normal?

I mean, I know I did a lot of acid in the 90s, but still.

I did a lot of acid in the 80s, and this is enough to make me nostalgic.

[Freeky]

So, my health has been poor for the last few weeks.  The doctor sends me to the neurosurgeon.  The neurosurgeon tells me that my reticular formation is (and has been) "rewiring" itself.  It can't heal, but it can find new ways to use what's left.  This is normally a good thing, because it means that humans can recover from damn near anything.

However, the reticular formation basically acts as the brain's switchboard.  When it starts rewiring itself, that means that important signals get stepped on or interfered with, similar to "chatter" in data cables.  What this means in practical terms is that A.  I will get arrythmia to the point where I fall down if I'm standing, as well as B.  Sensory interference.  This can mean anything from numb limbs to hearing (balance, anyone?  Your brain isn't talking with your inner ear, check back in 30 seconds), to illusions.

Illusions are different from hallucinations in that you don't believe they exist.  The part of my brain that THINKS is unchanged (ie, still stupid), so when I see weird things (and by weird, I mean, HELLO, Ben Templesmith!), I just decide that it's this problem and ignore it.

The good news is, this didn't happen when I was younger, because it's happening far slower in my case and is less likely to, you know, have my brain just stop talking to my heart or lungs altogether.  The bad news is that it may take a little while for my brain to decide that it's done making repairs.  Like, say, 30 years or so.

The treatment course is "choke it down, sissy".  The best they can do is give me sedatives to make me feel better about it.

And if you know me at all, you know sedatives aren't really my style.

So this is what's been wrong with me for a while now.  Weeks.  Longer, really, but it's only just gotten bad this last spring.  I've been a bit of a hermit because I don't need ANY extra stress, and I wasn't going to deal with the latest version of holist.  Also, I've been super busy at work, as I have mentioned.

Thing is, there's been no time to write, so no stress relief.  So I am MAKING time to write, no matter how busy we are.  Next chapter in the PI story goes up sometime today.

Well, shit.  Very unhappiness.