INTERVIEW WITH TEDDY ROOSEVELT & THE ROUGH RIDERS (part

[Chaplin_Sinatra_Fonzarell]

INTERVIEW WITH TEDDY ROOSEVELT & THE ROUGH RIDERS (part 1 of 3)
taken from the Art section of the Mungojerry Chronicle

LAWRENCE FITZGERALD DEHAVELUND, MUSIC EDITOR FOR THE MUNGOJERRY CHRONICLE: I,Äôm talking with the enigmatic, eccentric, and controversial new band, Teddy Roosevelt and the Rough Riders. The band,Äôs critics define it as a highly bebop-, hard bop-, and psychedelic influenced progressive rock band. Although they heavily embrace their bop, acid, and prog roots, they prefer the term ,ÄúDiscordian Theocratic Genre Terrorist,Äù

TEDDY ROOSEVELT: We also prefer the term ,Äúmilitant Anarcho-Extropian music-related commune,Äù to ,Äúband,Äù

LAWRENCE: I,Äôm sitting heir in their heavily fortified top-secret bunker that has a decorative style that,Äôs part Ken Kesey, part Havey Pekar. In front of me, from left to right, is the band,Äôs manager, Chaplin Sinatra Fonzarelli Roosevelt, the lead singer and guitarist Teddy Roosevelt, the  pianist Deloris Petunia Zoloft Roosevelt, blind blues-harp player, Jefferson ,ÄúJeffmo,Äù Roosevelt,Äù, saxaphonist Rip Delahouse Roosevelt, and his all-girl brass band, drummer and sagely brash and Bachanalean German death metal artist Newin Z?§r Roosevelt, authentic Appalachian broom-player Zeke Dweezil Roosevelt, the three-man Mariachi band, ,ÄúLos Paranois,Äù, half-French, half-Japanese lesbian furry otaku DJ Akiko LaChaise Roosevelt, and local established gospel band Reverend X and the Almost Saved Boys.
        First off, what,Äôs with the name? Kind of patriarchal, don,Äôt you think?

SINATRA: Well, we,Äôre doing to this city and this city,Äôs music scene what the U.S. is doing to Latin America and the Middle East. The Discordian Society in all of it,Äôs incarnations has declared war on the city of Harrisonburg. We are invading local venues and playing our music whether people want us to or not. We are raping the women and stealing the land of your mind. The Discordian Society,Äôs smallpox blankets are called ,ÄúOperation Mindfuck,Äù. We will force our way of thinking on you. Well, ,Äúforce on you,Äù is a bit hyperbolic. We will merely make our way of life known, which will force you to come to terms with how right we are.

DELORIS: Oh, Fonz is a pompous bag of shit. Like all good band names, we chose it because it sounds cool.

AKIKO: Yeah, do you think ,ÄúThe Beatles,Äù or ,ÄúPink Floyd,Äù or ,ÄúThe Who,Äù means anything?

DELORIS: Or ,ÄúBig Brother in the Holding Company,Äù or ,ÄúBand of Gypsies,Äù or ,ÄúMothers of Invention,Äù?

AKIKO: The more meaningless the name, the better. ,ÄúBlonde Redhead,Äù is going to be around for a long time not only because they,Äôre talented and because they have a good sound but also because their name conveys nothing but a crude basic irony. It,Äôs like a mondo, the more you think about it, the less sense it makes, but the more sense you feel it should make.

LAWRENCE: So why so many Roosevelts?

TEDDY: Nepotism.

LAWRENCE: And what are some of your influences?

TEDDY: Rather than highlight some of the hundreds of more well-known influences stewing in the blender of our brains, I,Äôll name some local artists that have inspired us; the music of Terry Turtle, Steve Speakman, Virginia Jihad, Red River Rollercoaster, and Mike Deaton, the plays of Tom King and Jay Zehr, the paintings of Wes Way, Sean Landis, and Lyn Lo, the writing of Billy Brett and Quiet T. Please, the productions put on by The Playhouse, the comedy of Nickels and Wiener, the community work of Rev. Ron Copeland, and the story-telling of Maude Senger. Oh, and of course Snuffy Smith by John Rose.

LAWRENCE: OK, I,Äôve never heard of any of those people. Moving on, care to explain this Discordian thing to those not hip?

SINATRA: It,Äôs Christianity if the four gospels were written by Groucho, Harpo, Cheeko, and Zeppo. It,Äôs Buddhism if The Buddha was Andy Kaufman. It,Äôs Taoism if Lao-Tsu was Lewis Carroll. It,Äôs Polytheism in the Gods were the Muppets, Judaism if the old prophets were the Goons, the Bonzo Dog Dooh-Dah Band, and Monty Python, Marxism-Leninism if you mean Groucho and John, the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn if it was founded by Firesign Theatre, and Islam if the Archangel Gabriel talked to Bugs Bunny. We believe there,Äôs nothing that can,Äôt be accomplished with a complete and total lack of seriousness or maturity. But there,Äôs more to it than that. Google ,ÄúPrincipia Discordia,Äù if you,Äôre psychotic enough for this to intrigue you.

LAWRENCE: This next question is for the good reverend. Is there any significance behind your name and the name of your band?

REV. X: I named myself ,ÄúReverend X,Äù to show that Jesus can still be cool. You know, there all of these ,ÄúX,Äù games with all of these kids bouncing off little cement ramps, why can,Äôt I be Rev. X, you know? It gives me a bit of mystery. And we,Äôre the Almost Saved because the Bible clearly tells us to be humble and to be good for the sake of being good, not out of pride. I think anyone who thinks they aren,Äôt going to hell probably is.

LAWRENCE: And you, a devout Christian, find no contradiction in being closely associated with a group of musicians who have been known for excessive promiscuous sex, with both genders, sexual deviation, revelry, psychoactive drug use, radical Left-wing politics, Pagan god worship, witchcraft, theft, vandalism, disobedience, and mischief?

REV. X: (laughter) We are all imperfect children of the Lord. My friendship with these ladies and gentlemen is based on our shared passion for the craft of music.

SINATRA: Yeah, when I assembled this band, I really wanted that authentic gospel sound. I don,Äôt think anyone can make it other then a sincere Christian. I think the Holy Ghost needs to enter you, like up the ass, like it,Äôs a giant dildo or something.

REV. X: Uhm,Ķyes.