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Already planning a hunger strike against the inhumane draconian right winger/neoliberal gun bans. Gun control is also one of the worst forms of torture. Without guns/weapons its like merely existing and not living.

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The Thread for Intermittens #3: Weirdness

Started by AFK, December 13, 2008, 02:23:12 PM

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Triple Zero

Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.


Cramulus

I am writing a column called "Weirdness in the Strange Times". It's about 3/4ths done.

RWHN, when I finish, do you want it posted here, or for me to PM it to you?



QuoteIronically, there's no weirdness left in the Strange Times. It all disappeared when it became commonplace. So many people are defining their own norms that there is no abnormal anymore. We're eclectically ecstatic, subculturally pragmatic.

AFK

Here should be fine.  In fact, anything anyone thinks should go in should go in here. 
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

Dysfunctional Cunt

 :lulz:

Jenne and I are tossing some stuff around!


Cramulus


hooplala

"Soon all of us will have special names" — Professor Brian O'Blivion

"Now's not the time to get silly, so wear your big boots and jump on the garbage clowns." — Bob Dylan?

"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)"
— Walt Whitman

Manta Obscura

Here is the Western Zodiac for this issue. I will work on the Discordian one - as well as the Discordian Sign descriptions - shortly. I forget what I said I was going to make the Discordian signs this issue, so if anyone wants to throw out five random things, I'll go with whichever is first or funniest, whichever comes second.

Anyway, here it is:

Whoroscope
by Manta Obscura


Your Birthday Today

Congratulations on being born and surviving long enough to read this! As a celebration of the miracle of your birth, call up a condom company's customer service line and thank them for making a product just faulty enough to allow your conception.

Aries
March 21-April 19


The emerging presence of greenhouse gases have affected the power of astrological configurations. This month you would have gotten a pay raise, won the lottery and had a sexual orgy with three timid-but-adventuresome twenty-somethings. But thanks to your Land Rover you get a ticket for jaywalking, a repossessed car and a case of the clap.

Taurus
April 20-May 20


You have never satisfied your lover sexually, and they are waiting until after Valentine's Day to dump you so they can benefit from the full present-giving experience.

Don't put too much effort into those "free erotic massage" coupons.

Gemini
May 21-June 20


I see what you did there. Stop reading this in the bathroom and have some self-respect.

Cancer
June 21-July 22


Your sign still sucks. Seriously, kill yourself.

Leo
July 23-August 22


It's not yours. Let's just say that she gets a special deal on home-delivered dairy products.

Virgo
August 23-September 22


My spiritual guides are telling me to tell you that now is the time to take chances with new start-up business endeavors. I say go for it. I mean, hell, it's not my money, what do I care?

Libra
September 23-October 22


The lack of success you have with romantic relationships has less to do with the exerted power of astrological bodies upon your life, and more to do with the fact that you're an insecure, domineering asshole.

Scorpio
October 23-November 21


On December 31, 2012, the world is going to come to an end. For serious. Nostradamus predicted it and shit.

Tell your friends.

Sagittarius
November 22-December 21


Stop making jokes about fruitcake during the holiday season. Just. Fucking. Stop. It.

That shit is good.

Capricorn
December 22-January 19


The homeless guy on the corner of Fifth and Vine is the spiritual advisor you've been searching for. Go and meet him.

The code phrase is, "If it's yellow, let it mellow."

Aquarius
January 20-February 18


You and everyone you love will one day die and rot in the ground, never knowing any permanent joy or obtaining the oft-sought Paradise for which you'd hoped. As your body crumbles and society's memory of you slips away, the stars shall ever shine their cold light upon your cursed descendents, who will walk the earth with the same futile hopes you once held in this godless universe.

Have a nice day.

Pisces
February 19-March 20


You're astrological sign's name can be rearranged to spell "spices." This is widely-regarded as the only interesting or noteworthy thing that can be claimed about anyone born under this sign.
Everything I wish for myself, I wish for you also.

Jenne

Quote from: Khara on December 17, 2008, 08:55:23 PM
:lulz:

Jenne and I are tossing some stuff around!



Any suggestions you guys?  Cramulamulous, that one inspired me to think of cougars...but how would that tie into "...as a mother..."?


tyrannosaurus vex

QuoteI forget what I said I was going to make the Discordian signs this issue, so if anyone wants to throw out five random things, I'll go with whichever is first or funniest, whichever comes second.

Yeti
Tube Sock
Preacher
Fairy
Republican
Evil and Unfeeling Arse-Flenser From The City of the Damned.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


the last yatto

maybe ill finally write that pention
or
blackmail a few yeti to get some more Dobbs weirdness tossed into kopyleft

Look, asshole:  Your 'incomprehensible' act, your word-salad, your pinealism...It BORES ME.  I've been incomprehensible for so long, I TEACH IT TO MBA CANDIDATES.  So if you simply MUST talk about your pineal gland or happy children dancing in the wildflowers, go talk to Roger, because he digs that kind of shit

AFK

Quote from: YattoDobbs on December 18, 2008, 09:02:35 AM
maybe ill finally write that pention
or
blackmail a few yeti to get some more Dobbs weirdness tossed into kopyleft



I think you should do an advice column.

No really. 
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

Triple Zero

Dear YattoDobbs,

my aunt is a timetraveller from the future, and she keeps trying to use our historybooks against me. i want to tell her but  :?
Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.

Manta Obscura

Quote from: vexati0n on December 18, 2008, 04:20:47 AM
QuoteI forget what I said I was going to make the Discordian signs this issue, so if anyone wants to throw out five random things, I'll go with whichever is first or funniest, whichever comes second.

Yeti
Tube Sock
Preacher
Fairy
Republican

Quite awesome, Vex. I shall use those.
Everything I wish for myself, I wish for you also.