The Right Moustache: A Story for Children

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Sorry, guys: I'm removing everything that I am submitting for publication. Not to be a jerk, just to cover my ass.

[Captain Utopia]

   + 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

My friend is illustrating it (each paragraph is a page) and we are going to send it to publishers, for the purpose of collecting rejection letters.

[Verbal Mike]

BEST. PLAN. EVER.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Thanks! We are going to start with the Most Serious and Prestigious of children's book publishers, and work our way down to some Christian ones. We are also going to include cover letters that explain how the book is educational and helpful, with phrasing such as "A timely contemporary work that embraces a gritty reality. Showing the single mother's quest for love through a child's eyes: One woman's courageous journey through heartbreak, rediscovering her strength, and finding new love, as told by her young child" and other such horrific shit.

We're thinking about having the wall of rejection letters in the kitchen.

[Brotep]

I love it!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Thanks! 

[Freeky]

What if a letter comes back and it isn't a rejection letter?

NIGEL BE FAMUSS THEN. 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

What if a letter comes back and it isn't a rejection letter?

NIGEL BE FAMUSS THEN. 

Haha, that would be funny!

One of the gardening clients I used to work for when I was assisting my gardener friend (god I miss those days. I hope she needs help this summer) is a successful children's book author. She's RICH RICH RICH, all off children books.

I suspect hers are rather more wholesome. If I could make a living selling the horrible children's stories I write in my head, I'd do it in a hot second.

My gardener friend is funny, because she's kind of worked herself into a niche as gardener for Portland's rich and famous, which makes most of my brush-with-greatness stories hilariously disconnected. I've pulled the weeds and peed in the bathrooms (and yards) of fame, but I've never met most of them.

[NotPublished]

Your a character I love you.

I hope you recieve many rejection letters.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Your a character I love you.

I hope you recieve many rejection letters.

Thanks! 

[Jenne]

  Awesome tale, even though you paid a high price in the writing of it.

[Richter]

I like this, but it makes me want to eat a hollowpoint reading it.  I also saw "Martyrs" this weekends, and am still prcessing it, which may be tinting my view a bit.

[Darth Cupcake]

I want to see this actually become a published children's book. I'd buy it.

[Elder Iptuous]

Have you actually made those posters yet?
if so, i would very much like to see it...