Re: Open Bar: RECOMMENDABLE

[LMNO]

1) Purslane also tastes good as a succulent.  And it's like a freakin' weed in New England.  You can find that stuff growing out of sidewalks.


2) Roger, can't you just add an extra $20,000 to your estimate, then go back to actual costs, and call it "compromise"?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

1) Purslane also tastes good as a succulent.  And it's like a freakin' weed in New England.  You can find that stuff growing out of sidewalks.


2) Roger, can't you just add an extra $20,000 to your estimate, then go back to actual costs, and call it "compromise"?

I could...But why?  It's funnier to watch Mike go all spastic.  Besides, there's the principle of the whole thing:

I hate Mike.

[LMNO]

You make a damn good case.


The prosecution rests.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

You make a damn good case.


The prosecution rests.

The thing is, I like to argue from reality.  I don't ever want them thinking there's any wiggle room in my estimates.  Give them an inch, they'll violate federal laws and drag you along with them.

[Left]

1) Purslane also tastes good as a succulent.  And it's like a freakin' weed in New England.  You can find that stuff growing out of sidewalks.

Yup.  It is one tough-ass plant.  The thought of eating bronchodilators as a salad green is pretty swell...
I've noted what seems to be positive effect from turmeric, beets,  and white tea....reminds me, must drink white tea...
Of course caffeine opens lungs up too. MMM, coffeeeee....

[tyrannosaurus vex]

I have completely given up the fight to bring sanity to the decision making processes of the executives at my company. When $25,000 for a fancy toy to broadcast video is a five-second decision, but $75,000 to actually provide the service we are selling to customers takes four months of bickering up and down the command chain, eventually coming out at "we'll pay $50,000 but we must have the same features as the $75,000 estimate," there is no hope for reason to win the day.

[Left]

Nice verizon lady:
"We can give you a tv-internet package for $99"
Me:
"I hate TV.  I don't own a TV"
Nice verizon lady:
"Well, if you ever change your mind, we could do that for you."
Me:
"I'll keep it in mind."

...Verizon is the only provider in this area; other options include nobody, nobody, and satellite...

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Roger:  "Okay, Cramer...We turned the blower around like you wanted.  Now remember:  You have to adjust the damper before you put full pressure to the machine.  Got that?"

Cramer:  "Yep."

<5 minutes go by>

BANG

Bits of ceramic shoot through the roof and land on the ground outside.

Roger:  "Cramer, tell Dirty Old Uncle Roger what ya done wrong."

Cramer:  "I didn't adjust the damper."

Roger:  "Why didn't you adjust the damper, Cramer?"

Cramer:  "I was going to, but I got a text right when I started the machine."

Roger:  "And you walked away from the machine to answer the text."

Cramer:  "Yes."

Roger:  "Do you mind telling me what the $35,000 text was?"

Cramer:  "A pic of Tia Tequila nude."

Roger: "..."

Cramer:  "What?"

Roger:  "..."

Cramer:  "SORRY! WHAT?"

Roger:  "Nothing Cramer.  Nothing.  Go do whatever else you have to do.  We'll just get started here."

<10 minutes>

Cramer:  "The ball mill won't start."

Roger:  "Did you start the lube system first?"

Cramer:  "Oh, yeah."

Roger:  "How long have you been working here, Cramer?"

Cramer:  "8 years."

Roger:  "..."

Cramer:  "WHAT?"

Roger:  "..."

Cramer:  "I HATE WHEN YOU DO THAT.  I CAN HEAR YOU NOT SAYING ANYTHING!"





This is my job.  Where I work.

[LMNO]

Haven't we seen Tila Tequila nude since, like, 2004?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Haven't we seen Tila Tequila nude since, like, 2004?

This is Cramer we're talking about.  You could have sent him Courtney Love nude or a pic of a cat or some shit and he'd still fuck shit up.  Cramer is proof that you atheists are WRONG, because the universe acts differently when he's around.  Specifically, shit just blows up for NO FUCKING REASON.

The ball mill he was starting up just spit a brick out of the doorway.

There goes my weekend.

[Suu]

Oh Jesus Fuck.

[Freeky]

I just tried to eat a pepper of some kind.  It was like, light green and four inches long or so.  I died for five minutes.  Then we watched a video of two guys eat ghost chilli peppers.  And then the adventure ended.

[Cainad (dec.)]

I can't wait until I've been employed long enough to get a good feel for the assbaggery in the company I now work for. Things have seemed pretty stable, but I'm sure it's an optical illusion.

It might help that all of the engineers are downstairs and I work upstairs with the hydrologists, whom I believe were all banished upstairs for spaggotry.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Our highways are elaborate labyrinthine parking lots covered in ice and plastic sacks of trucker poop. Our streets are black ice covered asphalt. Everything is closed. Everyone is huddled inside, praying for the bright death star to turn its baleful eye from California and Arizona to our forsaken wasteland.

There are people who've been trapped on the highway for 22+ hours. No way off. No more gas. No welfare checks from first responders, nothing from any organization. And it's the snow's fault there's no infrastructure.

I can't stop giggling.

http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-1079368

[Eater of Clowns]

Our highways are elaborate labyrinthine parking lots covered in ice and plastic sacks of trucker poop. Our streets are black ice covered asphalt. Everything is closed. Everyone is huddled inside, praying for the bright death star to turn its baleful eye from California and Arizona to our forsaken wasteland.

There are people who've been trapped on the highway for 22+ hours. No way off. No more gas. No welfare checks from first responders, nothing from any organization. And it's the snow's fault there's no infrastructure.

I can't stop giggling.

http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-1079368

You should really consider moving out of the third world country you live in.