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Started by Lord Quantum, April 16, 2010, 10:31:24 PM

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Lord Quantum

I think that's what we're looking for. Something that isn't an immediate sign that this is a hoax. I'll brush up on my Fort and get started on the Lady Gaga letter to show you guys what I mean. So that'll be Letter #0001: connecting Ratatosk's cabal to the Lady Gaga Illuminati conspiracy theory. Any ideas for Letter #0002?
Quote from: Cain on March 28, 2010, 09:44:45 PM
Fuck it.  I'm going to get ordained as a Catholic priest and start robbing banks and mugging people.  I mean, apparently, you can be excused any crime if you're in with the Big V.

Quote from: Requia ☣ on September 28, 2008, 02:09:45 AM

Lets try it on an even simpler level:

1) There is a minimum energy/mass things can have, everything can be measured in a multiple of this minimum.

2) Objects at this size, or close to it, don't have an exact position or velocity, so they look like waves in most experiments.

3) If you try to measure the location, they act more like particles, just to fuck with you, but the velocity gets more uncertain, also just to fuck with you.

Conclusion: God hates physicists.

GASMs - PosterGASM (Calvinball edition), AbbyGASM

Pirate Pass Off Scorecard (5)

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

I see no reason to mimic anyone's style. If we can't develop our own characters/voice doing this we have no business writing.

I think the multiple addresses/states of origin should be left utterly unexplained. I also think that we should say as little about ourself(ves) as possible, and focus entirely on our insane conspiracies.

Examine this for intrigue:

One or two distinct voices
The obviously lunatic author(s) of the letter are consistent
The origin of the letters is different each time
There is no explanation offered.

Compare this with the intrigue of:
Many voices, some of which are clearly cribbed from other writers
the origin of the letters is different each time
some excuse is offered, unasked, for why

The intrigue of the former scenario is clearly much higher, while the latter reeks of a loosely-organized letter-writing campaign.

If we're going to pull this off, these letters have to appear to be coming from only one or two people. The different postmarks/IPs will, without any explanation proffered, serve to intensify interest in the letters.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

I think it would not hurt to re-read Illuminatus! (as painful as  that my be, especially for those of us who don't smoke pot) and verrrry carefully insert some of those conspiracies into our conspiracies, just for the meta-ness.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Lord Quantum

(nods) ok, now I see what you're saying.
Quote from: Cain on March 28, 2010, 09:44:45 PM
Fuck it.  I'm going to get ordained as a Catholic priest and start robbing banks and mugging people.  I mean, apparently, you can be excused any crime if you're in with the Big V.

Quote from: Requia ☣ on September 28, 2008, 02:09:45 AM

Lets try it on an even simpler level:

1) There is a minimum energy/mass things can have, everything can be measured in a multiple of this minimum.

2) Objects at this size, or close to it, don't have an exact position or velocity, so they look like waves in most experiments.

3) If you try to measure the location, they act more like particles, just to fuck with you, but the velocity gets more uncertain, also just to fuck with you.

Conclusion: God hates physicists.

GASMs - PosterGASM (Calvinball edition), AbbyGASM

Pirate Pass Off Scorecard (5)

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

I think that we can/should collaborate heavily on the letters, each participant bringing ideas/skeleton of each letter to the table, and then we group-rewrite them until they sound like we want our characters to sound, and then we each in turn get to print and send the letters. 
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Hoser McRhizzy

Just a possible resource thrown in.  From the previous links - combined Google-monitoring and MK Ultra mind control with Facebook's Beacon program.  Random cabal leader's name: "Hicutus."

I know I'm 'doing it wrong' and don't know if any part of this will be useful, but it was fun to write.  Adapt, ignore, mess with it like it did something wrong, etc.

Quote
Dear Hef,

I offer my hearty congratulations and thanks for your recent March Issue: Kelly Bensimon was quite a coup!  Unfortunately, the weighty matter I bring to your attention must needs distract us from her beauty, for it is my duty to warn you of events which have long commanded our attention, but have only recently been made clear to me. 

You are, of course, aware of Facebook's recent 'Beacon' scandal.  This program was seemingly designed to collect information on Facebook users and automatically spread advertising throughout their networks based upon their online purchases.  While apparently innocent, the Beacon program was, in fact, subcontracted to Facebook through Google which was commissioned by their monitoring partners in the CIA and Trilateral Commission under the aegis of the 'new' MK ULTRA project.  Inquiries I have made during my travels concerning this matter have alerted me to new dangers: sadly, our market and government are not as sovereign as we would like to believe. 

The true nature of the Beacon program was concealed even from the companies and departments involved.  Silently steering the Trilateral Commission is a man or woman known only as "Hicutus," a suspected leader of a dangerous Discordian cult.  On the surface, Beacon was an exercise in new marketing techniques, but was, in truth, an experiment in synthetic telepathy: messages embedded in the subliminal advertising digital signals within the Beacon application urged Facebook users to rise up and oppose the spread of their 'personal information.'  Hicutus dubbed this project "New Xi Nao" (apparently in reference to the shadowy Discordian cabal he serves).

You understand now why I need to unveil this project to you before phase two begins.

According to my infiltrator contacts, New Xi Nao was a success.  Facebook users immediately obeyed the subliminal messages, and massive coordinated online protests against Beacon began only one day later.  Imagine if you will the inevitable weaponization.  I tell you without risk of hyperbole that the potential for mass mind control is already proven, and this shadowy Hicutus is rumoured to be a slippery personage without scruple or moral compass.

Yours truly,
[_____]
It feels unreal because it's trickling up.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Hmm. I don't think that's "doin' it wrong" at all.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Lord Quantum

Wow. We're definitely gonna have to keep you around, Nurse. That was great! And I liked how you actually bothered to see who was on the cover this month.
Quote from: Cain on March 28, 2010, 09:44:45 PM
Fuck it.  I'm going to get ordained as a Catholic priest and start robbing banks and mugging people.  I mean, apparently, you can be excused any crime if you're in with the Big V.

Quote from: Requia ☣ on September 28, 2008, 02:09:45 AM

Lets try it on an even simpler level:

1) There is a minimum energy/mass things can have, everything can be measured in a multiple of this minimum.

2) Objects at this size, or close to it, don't have an exact position or velocity, so they look like waves in most experiments.

3) If you try to measure the location, they act more like particles, just to fuck with you, but the velocity gets more uncertain, also just to fuck with you.

Conclusion: God hates physicists.

GASMs - PosterGASM (Calvinball edition), AbbyGASM

Pirate Pass Off Scorecard (5)

Rococo Modem Basilisk

Bare idea: CIA's successor to project MK-NAOMI (that one that stockpiled drugs and laundered money to supply MK-ULTRA) involved in MONARCH-type experiments (the Finders have already been arguably linked to discordia and, depending upon who you ask, are associated with mind control, so this might be a good fit if it doesn't hit too close to home) that have been subverted by a cabal that infiltrated the same masonic lodge that several of the higher-ups have infiltrated for the purpose of doing long-term experiments on members.


I am not "full of hate" as if I were some passive container. I am a generator of hate, and my rage is a renewable resource, like sunshine.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: E. A. Waterhaus II on April 22, 2010, 12:25:59 AM
Bare idea: CIA's successor to project MK-NAOMI (that one that stockpiled drugs and laundered money to supply MK-ULTRA) involved in MONARCH-type experiments (the Finders have already been arguably linked to discordia and, depending upon who you ask, are associated with mind control, so this might be a good fit if it doesn't hit too close to home) that have been subverted by a cabal that infiltrated the same masonic lodge that several of the higher-ups have infiltrated for the purpose of doing long-term experiments on members.

This is good, and could definitely stand fleshing out.

I think a key element will be to choose a few main themes and stick with them, expanding, morphing, and fleshing them out by "uncovering new information" as we go. It's one thing to write crazy conspiracy theory letters, but another to keep them cohesive and comprehensible over a matter of months or years.

"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Here are a couple of (unrelated) letters written by Thornley that seem largely to indicate that he was batshit crazy: http://www.gyrofrog.com/kwt30.php
http://www.american-buddha.com/letterkerry.htm
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

(I'm thinking that they might be useful for stylistic research)
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Hoser McRhizzy

#27
Quote from: E. A. Waterhaus II on April 22, 2010, 12:25:59 AM
Bare idea: CIA's successor to project MK-NAOMI (that one that stockpiled drugs and laundered money to supply MK-ULTRA) involved in MONARCH-type experiments (the Finders have already been arguably linked to discordia and, depending upon who you ask, are associated with mind control, so this might be a good fit if it doesn't hit too close to home) that have been subverted by a cabal that infiltrated the same masonic lodge that several of the higher-ups have infiltrated for the purpose of doing long-term experiments on members.

:lol:  ^that^ is frigging hilarious!

Quote from: Lord Quantum on April 21, 2010, 11:13:18 PM
Wow. We're definitely gonna have to keep you around, Nurse. That was great! And I liked how you actually bothered to see who was on the cover this month.

Thanks.  :)  These things are fun to write.  

edited for threadspammage
It feels unreal because it's trickling up.

Lord Quantum

Quote from: The Lord and Lady Omnibus Fuck on April 21, 2010, 05:31:00 PM
I think that we can/should collaborate heavily on the letters, each participant bringing ideas/skeleton of each letter to the table, and then we group-rewrite them until they sound like we want our characters to sound, and then we each in turn get to print and send the letters. 

This seems like a good idea. Having said that, does anyone have any suggestions for re-writing Rhizone's letter? The only thing I can think of is maybe a quick summary of the Beacon scandal and a link to the settlement website http://www.beaconclasssettlement.com Also, we need to come up with a pseudonym (or pseudonyms). And here's my suggestions for all that...


Robert Paris
R.S. Wilson
Markoff Chaney
C.F. Riley
Quote from: Cain on March 28, 2010, 09:44:45 PM
Fuck it.  I'm going to get ordained as a Catholic priest and start robbing banks and mugging people.  I mean, apparently, you can be excused any crime if you're in with the Big V.

Quote from: Requia ☣ on September 28, 2008, 02:09:45 AM

Lets try it on an even simpler level:

1) There is a minimum energy/mass things can have, everything can be measured in a multiple of this minimum.

2) Objects at this size, or close to it, don't have an exact position or velocity, so they look like waves in most experiments.

3) If you try to measure the location, they act more like particles, just to fuck with you, but the velocity gets more uncertain, also just to fuck with you.

Conclusion: God hates physicists.

GASMs - PosterGASM (Calvinball edition), AbbyGASM

Pirate Pass Off Scorecard (5)

Rococo Modem Basilisk

Quote from: Lord Quantum on April 24, 2010, 01:15:46 AM
R.S. Wilson
Markoff Chaney

Obvious tipoffs. Remember who we're writing to.

My suggestion:
M. L. Blissett -- it's non-obvious, and the paranoid will connect both to Martin Luther and Luther Blissett


I am not "full of hate" as if I were some passive container. I am a generator of hate, and my rage is a renewable resource, like sunshine.