News:

    PD.com forums: a disorganized echo-chamber full of concordian, Greyfaced radical left-wing nutjobs who honestly believe they can take down imaginary Nazis by distributing flyers. They are highly-suspicious of all newcomers and hostile to almost everyone, including themselves. The only thing they don't take seriously is Discordianism.

Main Menu

Modern Mythological Creatures

Started by Cramulus, August 10, 2010, 08:10:39 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Eater of Clowns

The Kowlma - Small silhouettes living off excess electricity just inside your monitor.  They appear as punctuation marks that are present upon typing and proofreading, but disappear as soon as the work is printed or posted.  Occasionally a Kowlma will settle next to an actual punctuation mark looking like a duplicate, when the duplicate is erased, it assumes its role, proving to be missing on the regular document.

Quote from: Pippa Twiddleton on December 22, 2012, 01:06:36 AM
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 07, 2014, 01:18:23 AM
EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

Quote
the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

Cramulus

Lirc - The Lirc lives in Internet chat rooms. It never says anything. Yes, sometimes when you see somebody lurking for entire months at a time, there is no computer or human being attached to it. Young Lircs cannot maintain a presence for too long - they can be seen signing on, hanging out for a second, and then signing off.

DiscoUkulele

Wandering Cock- A relative of the Lirc, these severed phalli enjoy traveling through the internet and popping up occasionally just to say "Hello!". According to folklore, these phalli were once attached to men in the real world, but got lonely and decided to leave.
You shouldn't let poets lie to you.
                                 - Bjork

Prince Glittersnatch III

Quote from: Cramulus on August 10, 2010, 08:59:27 PM
Lirc - The Lirc lives in Internet chat rooms. It never says anything. Yes, sometimes when you see somebody lurking for entire months at a time, there is no computer or human being attached to it. Young Lircs cannot maintain a presence for too long - they can be seen signing on, hanging out for a second, and then signing off.

Ive always wondered about that. WHAT IS THE POINT OF STAYING IDLE IN A CHANNEL FOR 3 MONTHS!? /cruisecontrol
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?=743264506 <---worst human being to ever live.

http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/False%20Religions/Other%20Pagan%20Mumbo-Jumbo/discordianism.htm <----Learn the truth behind Discordianism

Quote from: Aleister Growly on September 04, 2010, 04:08:37 AM
Glittersnatch would be a rather unfortunate condition, if a halfway decent troll name.

Quote from: GIGGLES on June 16, 2011, 10:24:05 PM
AORTAL SEX MADES MY DICK HARD AS FUCK!

Requia ☣

Because you added it to your ajoin and then completely forgot about it.

*Truly ancient Lirc, can idle for years.
Inflatable dolls are not recognized flotation devices.

tyrannosaurus vex

Spliss - A tiny goblin that naturally lives dormant in corn fields, where it causes no harm. Sometimes, however, after corn has been processed and consumed, the human digestive track activates the Spliss, where it runs amok causing gas and other discomfort until it eventually dies, is passed along the track, and becomes lodged at the very end of the excretory system. This is why you sometimes wake up for a morning piss and the stream for no reason at all sprays off in two different directions.
Evil and Unfeeling Arse-Flenser From The City of the Damned.

AFK

Akkolyte - An elf-like creature that communicates via an annoying and painful warble.  They are striped and shimmer and known for their perplexing behavioral patterns.  Some say they are just plain outlandish. 
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

Kurt Christ

Pixyl- pixels don't die. They are stolen by pixyls, who use each stolen pixel to construct there own monitor piece by piece. They can travel through electrical wires, phone or cable lines, or even radio/microwaves.
Formerly known as the Space Pope (then I was excommunicated), Father Kurt Christ (I was deemed unfit to raise children, spiritual or otherwise), and Vartox (the speedo was starting to chafe)

Herbertina Merrique V

Of course, the more traditional creatures have also had to cope with the modern world and update their habits to survive. I don't think I need to tell you what all the trolls are doing these days, but the adaptation doesn't always go so well: there was a guy who accidentally dropped some crack near the porch of his friend's parent's house, and the household gnome, crawling out from his tiny lair, found the rocks and thought the people had finally remembered his existence and left him some food. He quickly figured out what to do with the crack, resulting in tragic consequences - the poor creature became the first junkie gnome in history, and the people living in the house suffered from really really bad luck, strange injuries and horrible accidents for a long time, UNTIL THEY ALL DIED, THE HOUSE BURNED DOWN AND THE MORAL OF TEH STORY IS DON'T DO DRUGS.
THE MORALE WILL CONTINUE UNTIL DISCORDIANS IMPROVE

Ask me anything. Or else.

AFK

On unrelated note, love the Chrono Trigger avatar.  It's the psychadelic frog attack!!!
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

President Television

Hiphearst: Gangly, hairy creatures that are often sighted at social gatherings. They often shroud themselves in tacky clothing raided from dumpsters and second-hand stores to hide their monstrous appearance. They lack low-light vision but still need to conceal their eyes; as such, they are perhaps the only creatures with a practical use for shutter shades. Mostly benign, but they feed on enthusiasm, originality, and personality while excreting irony. Many of late have settled down and become comfortable with a seminomadic urban lifestyle, leading to excessive gorging.
My shit list: Stephen Harper, anarchists that complain about taxes instead of institutionalized torture, those people walking, anyone who lets a single aspect of themselves define their entire personality, salesmen that don't smoke pipes, Fredericton New Brunswick, bigots, philosophy majors, my nemesis, pirates that don't do anything, criminals without class, sociopaths, narcissists, furries, juggalos, foes.

Cuddlefish

I'm diggin' this fread.  :thumb:

Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on August 11, 2010, 02:43:45 AM
On unrelated note, love the Chrono Trigger avatar.  It's the psychadelic frog attack!!!

And, this.
A fisher of men, or a manner of fish?

Cramulus

Toekin - A perverted gremlin that hides inside your shoe. Is often mistaken for a pebble or coin. Toekin derive sexual pleasure from being stepped on.


Pill Mimic - These shapshifters disguise themselves as pharmaceutical drugs. After you swallow them, they live inside your stomach, where they feed on partially digested food. Once immersed, pill mimics secrete a mucus which protects them from your stomach acid, but also has mild psychogenic properties. This altered state is frequently mistaken for the intended effects of the pharmaceutical for which the pill mimic was mistaken.


Fart Knockers - Fart Knockers, otherwise known as Gastro-Intestinal Imps, live inside your lower intestine. They are a loathsome people who delight in sending their hosts running to bathroom for what turns out to be no reason at all. They are also responsible for the "phantom poop" phenomenon - occasionally, somebody will take a crap, and then upon inspection, there is no fecal matter in the toilet. This surreal event is usually just a fart knocker escaping into the sewer system.

BabylonHoruv

the Bogard is actually a name for a traditional fae.  Sort of like a boogy man, it's something that is described in various ways, but what they all share is that it is scary.  A fear creature.

(done being a pedant, here's my modern fae)

The ERNG These creatures of chaos live within computer games and determine things like what items a monster is carrying, which block falls next in tetris and so on.  They are perverse creatures which enjoy having people swear at them.  If sworn at properly they can cause players unexpected good fortune.
You're a special case, Babylon.  You are offensive even when you don't post.

Merely by being alive, you make everyone just a little more miserable

-Dok Howl

Triple Zero

Misantrophee - this ghoulish scavenger is made up, as a jumbled mess of many ghostly partial body parts, limbs, heads and mouths speaking of good intentions, as well as a distinctively large collection of half asses. It feeds on lost bits of faith in humanity, hunts unkept promises and wild assumptions, unclaimed responsibilities, missed opportunities and discarded hope. Because of the high moral fibre content of its diet, it is generally quite happy and well-balanced. It builds its nests on high stakes, from where it uses its keen long-term vision to scan for parts of the bigger picture losing their grasp on reality.

Its mating-call is UNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG, which is used by the males to attract and deceive female misantrophees into believing there is a tasty snack to be found. At this sound, the female rushes into the situation with a big leap of faith, and as her belief becomes unfounded, it takes on a life of its own and become a new baby misanthropee.
Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrowâ„¢
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.