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I went to Target to get candy and soap (you know, for a casserole) and someone left this on my car.



I like how they misspelled Cthulhu even though it's right there... like, right there on the thing they were commenting about.
However I commend their effort and I did LOL, for rillz.

I need a new ... I've needed a new job for the last 7 years. I have no idea what I'd be good at. I don't even know where to start.
Skills include:
10 key, data entry, decent ability to put up with bullshit, all clerical functions, frightening organisational skills, all arts and crafts mediums, horrible ocd, can perform surprising amount of physical labor for my size, book keeping, budget balancing, scary face, good customer service skills.

Any ideas?

So my son asked me "hey, can we have a christmas tree this year?" to which I replied "Well, where would we put it and what kind of cat toys should I put on it?"
He grunted and gave me a funny look. I haven't put up a tree in four or five years and it's been even longer for Mr Squid so this was about the best we could do on a whim.

The topper is kind of traditional, like it or not for previous Mr's. Jack Skelington. But there's also a peacock. Cause god damn it, I like em---



Then I got him an ornament with a clarinet since that's what he plays--


Did I mention the fucking YODA LIGHTS??? They're so tacky I could punch myself---


And here's the piece of shit in all it's glory. ENJOY SON!

(sorry if it's sideways but both photobucket and my photo program thing are fucking retarded and I'm too lazy to try to fix it properly. So just tilt your head if need be)

What a piece of shit! Merry Christmas!!

Srsly, what the hell
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8410qUT4QtA

worst part? it's really catchy

http://www.sundancechannel.com/greenporno/

These made me uncomfortable, and then sad.

Yeah, no big deal but this shit was good.

for the sauce:
2 little cans of the tomato sauce con spanish seasonings cause it's all I had
1 yellow onion diced small
juice of 2 limes
2 garlic cloves minced
4 chipotle peppers and a good heapin spoonful of the adobo sauce from the can
adobo powder with sazon (yeah they make it with the sazon built right in) 

sautee onion, add garlic and lime juice. add spice powder, chipotles, adobo sauce, then the tomato sauce. simmer for a while while you make the other stuff

warm some corn tortillas in a hot pan with a touch of oil (just a little)

Then I sauteed some chopped up chorizo sausage and scrambled some eggs into it.

Plate:
spoonful of tomato sauce on the plate, two corn tortillas, some egg and sausage mix, more tomato sauce topped with a wee bit of cheese and cilantro.

Huevos rancheros? Sorta.

Tasty?? You bet.

So Mr Squid bought some green coffee beans and was researching how to properly roast them. There were all different methods from rotisserie things that go on your grill to air popcorn poppers. He found a simple method that seemed to work for people that we had handy.
LOL a cast iron skillet and a whisk.

So we set the heat to about med-hi and slowly whisked them till they were a medium roast and went from:


to:


in about 10 minutes.
They say your coffee begins to go stale after you roast it and then even faster after you grind it. I like the rustic "home made" look it has.
It smells awful while they're roasting so you have to have your exhaust fan on, but once they're done and you cool them and put them in a plastic bad for a minute the smell is unbelievable.
It's the freshest nicest coffee smell ever.
I haven't ground any and made a cup yet since it's 2:40 in the am. Unless Mr Squid is doing that right now, but I kind of doubt it (I hope not).
but I'll report the flavor after I make a pot.

[Chicken stock]

Ingredients first, then pics n stuff.

Chicken stock-
1 whole chicken
1 giant yellow onion, the kind with the brownish paper/skin with the skin on (adds color)
4 celery stalks
2 fat carrots
cheesecloth filled with: thyme, peppercorns, 2 bay leaves, oregano
2 big cloves garlic, smashed but not chopped or minced, just smashed
some salt
enough water to cover

Put it all in a pot and boil it till it's yellow and yummy. About an hour and a half or till the bird is fully cooked. Remove all the vegetables, put that chicken aside (you can use it for other stuff, like stew it in spanish spices and make chicken tacos. mmmmm) and strain the liquid into a big pot. MMmm. Smells good. And you can prep all your other crap while you're making this.

Gumbo-
andouille sausage (i had 8 small ones)
about a pound of shrimp
3 or 4 ham hocks
tri colored peppers (i had one green 2 red 2 orange)
3 celery stalks
3 carrots
1 big yellow onion
okra (i didn't measure)
chopped tomatoes
1 15oz can of crushed tomatoes (i think. the big fat one)
a pot of chicken stock
spice blend- oregano, thyme, cayenne, salt, pepper, onion powder, garlic powder, paprika    bay leaves (2 or 3)
4 cloves garlic minced
spoonful of file powder (small spoon if using okra)

I think that's everything. Chop all veg and garlic, slice your sausage, clean your shrimp, mix your spice. Sweat the veg in a big pot till the onions are translucent, remove and set aside. Add sausage and brown. Remove and set aside. Add a cup of your stock to help scrape up all the brown bits on the bottom of your pot then chuck in your veg, sausage and ham hocks. Add stock and the whole can of tomatoes with the juice and everything and your chopped fresh ones. Bring it all to a boil and then add your spices. Let this shit boil for about 30 minutes till all your veggies are soft and you can smell those smoky ham hocks. Then add your okra. Boil another 15 minutes or so or until the okra is cooked through. Then add shrimp. After about 8-10 minutes the shrimp should be done. So turn it off. Add your spoonful of file and stir. Remove ham hocks and bay leaves and eat this shit with rice.

Pics:


stock spices


stock veg


lonely chicken


chicken and friends


gumbo veg. peppers, okra, out of pic is carrots, celery, onion and garlic


veggies in the pot


go chicken, go!


mmmmmmmmm saaaaaaaausage


veggies love sausage. they do


oh boy. smoked pig knuckle joint finger part thingies


stock. what a lovely yellow color it has. tastes like gramma's chicken soup


added stock and tomatoes


chopped 'maters


spices


okrer


mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm


shrimp want to join the party


FILE! not easy to find here believe it or not


serve it with rice or GTFO

Some people put their rice right into their gumbo, but I like to control the amount of rice I get. Sometimes I want a lot, sometimes just a little bit. So that's the way I do it. If you want rice in it, feel free to dump it in.
Also, add your tobasco, krystal, louisiana, sriracha or whatever hot sauce you like to use at the end.

EAT IT!

We should all meet up in New Orleans next year.
I believe I've mentioned this before, but it sounds even nicer now.
I like food and booze and they have that there.
Also, it's not here.

Who's in?

So when does it all become too much?
At what point do we throw our arms up in disgust and just yell "awe fuck it!"?
It's becoming an unbearable weight to carry atop our shoulders. It's heavy and it smells, not to mention the flies. You know the ones, the shiny ones that bite.

Where is the breaking point where we can't take another moment of it so we peel off our face and scream out to the gods we don't believe in while the flies lay their maggot eggs in our juicy exposed flesh only to leave us a miserable pile of ruin in the dirt. Breathless, tired, alone and in catatonic despair.

In these loathsome times can we afford to lose ourselves in the madness, in the thick of it, in the misery? Can we allow ourselves to forget who we are, who we once were?
Do we punch ourselves in the face and yell out to get with it or do we let our knees buckle under the weight?

In the meantime- Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!

I was going to write you a letter, but I haven't any time.

I was going to jot it down on some paper at work but my fingers aren't allowed to stop typing. Eyes fixed and dilated staring at numbers, typing typing numbers, item after item, check after check numbers numbers numbers type type type.
Mustn't slow down, mustn't let up. I am not allowed to leave till each piece of paper is encoded, balanced and wrapped up to be unwrapped later by some other machine who isn't allowed to leave until each piece of paper is handled in whatever way they're supposed to handle it.

I was going write at home, but I can't find a moment to myself. Buuuzz, bing bong, hey honey, ring ring, bleep bleep bleep, bing bong, hey mom, meow, ring ring, bing bong, meow, crash, buzz, bleep bleep bleep, mom where's my fur gun crayon tv boot hat......

I was going to write you while in line at the store but the half toothless smelly man with greasy hair and flies kept going on about how he liked my boots and got louder and louder the longer I ignored him till I gave him a snarl and a stare that burned a hole in his forehead till black oil drizzled out and he left me alone so I could pay for my crap and leave.

I stood up on my roof to scream it out for the wind to carry to you but when I opened my mouth there was nothing but silence... and then bees. Bees that shot out with force my friend, force that jammed them into the trees stinger first. The ones that made it past the trees I never saw again. But silence.

So you see, I was going to write you a letter, but I haven't any time.

First 3 people to PM me addresses gets an halloween cards.

snail mail is fun.

So I have those 3 stray kittens in my garage and their mom is outside.
Calling for them.
-Do I put them back outside with her, where they can slide down the steep slope into the crick, get eaten by a possum or hawk? (hawks don't mess around in these parts)
-Or do I keep feeding them till I  can find them homes.

Note- they're weened, they eat dry food, but they're tiny.

What do I do? Anyone know? 

Well here's yer problem rite-cheer. You got kittens in yer draiv shaift.





Thank goodness I heard one of them clawing at the underside of my car when I went to leave for work today. That would have been messy and stinky and I would have cried and cried and screamed and cried.
I managed to chase them off. One ran into the yard, I thought the other followed but apparently when Mr Squid went to get the lawnmower out he was sitting on it. I trapped the poor thing in the garage.
So while I was at work He and little squid gathered up three kittens from the yard like easter eggs and now they're living in my garage.
Anyone want a free kitten?

Come to Casselberry FL
http://www.wesh.com/health/21068007/detail.html

So we took a gallon jug of plain apple juice, no preservatives and did this to it:

Remove 1 1/2 c of juice from jug. Drill hole in cap to fit your airlock.

Boil this into a syrup:
1/2 c brown sugar
1/2 c water
peel w/out pith of 1/2 an orange
piece of ginger
2 cardamom pods
1/2 cinnamon stick
1/2 vanilla bean

Pour into jug of apple juice, add 1/2 of a La Fin Du Monde (get it! for the yeast!) Screw on the cap with your airlock on it and leave it alone.

We'll see what happens in a few weeks.

Did you discover something you should or shouldn't do today?
Post it here.

TODAY'S TIP:
Do not eat a half a sub left in your desk longer than 12 hours. It does horrible horrible things to your intestines. Trust me, or don't and find out for yourself.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ut0WDb-xzks&feature=related

And we don't even have one of these restaurants here.
I thought about putting this on a loop on my t.v. when I had a group of friends over last saturday just to see if anyone noticed.
But I didn't....well, I couldn't.

He sure can get passionate sometimes.
I like this guy.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22425001/vp/32277034#32277034

Chicken Finger Bacon Pizza

A pizza consisting of Thousand Island dressing as the sauce, topped with a family size bag of chicken fingers, a container of bacon bits all smothered in sliced mozzarella cheese.


Dorm Food Casserole

Bottom to top: stuffing, ramen, ground beef, shredded cheese, mac and cheese, ramen, shredded cheese, garlic mashed potatoes, shredded cheese, bread crumbs, all topped with sliced onions and pound of bacon.

Just looking at this stuff makes half of me gag and the other half just stares with delight, wanding, wonderment, watery eyes, etc...

Oh look, it's almost healthy.. but 100% cute

Spam Musubi

Rice, seaweed and Spam.

Quickest lunch ever:

In a small bowl mix- (equal parts, like a 1/4 tsp)
salt
curry powder
garam masala
ground coriander
cumin
turmeric
(ground cardamom if you have it)
-or use your favorite curry mix-

also need-
strained and rinsed chickpeas from a can or re-hydrated dry ones, either way they're fine
olive oil
wee bit o garlic minced

Heat a small pan and coat the bottom with olive oil.  Throw in your garlic and spice, sautee till it smells up your house. Add the chickpeas and cook em till your eyes burn and a few pop open.

That's it. You can top em with some chopped cilantro if you have it, or if you want to. I don't even like these damn beans cause they're usually too mealy for me, but I like these and it takes like 5 minutes to make em.

Since I have a bunch of shit to work on I'm just gonna dump it all here insted of starting a bunch of new shit.

Here's some spats. For teh steampunk'n or some shit, yo.







I'll probably never make another pair of these.

I found these disgustingly cute 2x2 canvases at Mr Squid's dad's art shop, so I had to get some. Only thing I could think to do with them is something equally as cute. So here's tiny robot #1





(hand and mini nerds box for perspective.)

...in my angina?

it's more likely than you think.




i hate painting. i don't think this is done.

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1822433

not really.
but this belongs here.

Why We live on the Moon

   Once upon a time the planet was ruled by a giant vampire computer machine called the Dow Jones Industrial.
   The machine had a bunch of worker drones called the monocle army. They lived inside the belly of the great machine and ate money and interest. Their means of communication was mostly rudimentary grunts and feigned laughter.
"burgha burgha burgha huh huh huh".
   The monocle army served one great purpose to the evil machine- to give out poorly thought out loans and rape the common people of what little money they had. The common people are otherwise known as- the taxpayer. That's you and me, kids.
   One day the Dow Jones machine sneezed and suddenly the taxpayers weren't able to pay the loans that they had received from the army. A chicken with a monocle ran out of the belly of the great machine yelling "Foreclosures, foreclosures! The Dow is falling! The Dow is falling!"
   Everyone panicked, the Dow started spitting out horrible numbers that didn't make sense, the monopoly man cried.
Then, from the shadows, came an evil villain named Henry Paulson. He threw back his cape, twisted his wiry mustache and proclaimed in a rather slimy voice, "I have a perfect solution for this. Muhahahahahahaaaa!" Then he slithered into the treasury and stole all the taxpayers money, into every cradle and stole every piece of candy from every baby and just for fun, kicked a puppy.
   The taxpayers were hurt and confused, but didn't quite know what to do when IT happened. The shrill sound of millions of crying babies awoke the great magical unicorn from his slumber. He arose from the muck and mire of his swampy home and yelled "What cock-suckery is this?!" He shat a rainbow with such force that it projected him all the way to the Dow Jones Industrial Monster Machine.
   He looked around with horror and in his great displeasure he yelled "IMA CHARGIN MAH LAZORZ!!!" Then he exploded with an enormous force that blew the planet into little bits and that kids, is why we live on the moon.

the end.

If you hate bacon, move along.

If you love bacon, you must do this.

-dredge some thick cut bacon in brown sugar
-lay it out on a cooling rack on top of a cookie sheet lined with foil
-sprinkle more brown sugar on the top
-bake at 350 till the bacon is done and the sugar is caramelized and crispy
-eat and roll around on the floor wallowing in your sugar and grease high

DO. IT.

What to do?
Well, I got some shitty ol goggles on ebay for a buck and had some paint n shit layin around and since I'm too sick to go anywhere I painted em.







YUO MISSED A SPOT!
Yes, I know. I don't care cause I'm sick.
I thought they turned out pretty funny so I thought I'd share.

We found an awesome little hole in the wall liquor store that has an incredible selection of beer, wine and liquors. We of course, ended up spending way more than we wanted to when we went.
We figured we'd try a bunch of new things that we hadn't had yet.
Here's a group shot of what we got:

Mmmmmmm. Beeeeeeeeer.

Now for review.


Hitachino Nest Celebration Ale
Kiuchi Brewery- Ibaraki, Japan
ABV: 9%
Ale brewed with coriander, orange peel, nutmeg, cinnamon and vanilla beans.

Overall I gave this beer an A-
It had the look of a stout, with a rich dark cocoa espresso color and was thick and cloudy. The thick frothy head reminded me of crema. Vurry nice. The first thing I smelled was a creamy caramel and cinnamon with a hint of oak and chocolate. It has a smooth creamy slightly spicy taste with a nice caramel finish and was heavy rich and chewy on the tongue. This is definitely a sippin beer or one you would have with a light dessert or at the end of the night. It's really heavy and not the best choice for a starter, but it was certainly worth trying.



Wostyntje Torhauts Mustard Ale
De Rogenboog Brewery- Brugge, Belgium
ABV: 7%
Dark blonde ale brewed with dark candy sugar and mustard seeds.

I gave this one a B-
It's color was a bright sunny orange with a slight cloudiness like a cider. It smelled sweet with hints of mustard that got stronger as it warmed. At first it tasted like hay but it finished with a light honey mustard mildew. It was interesting that's for sure. It's light, crisp and refreshing. If you can handle that musty mildew undertone it could easily be an all night drink.



Curieux
Allagash Brewery- Portland, Maine
ABV: 11%
Ale aged in oak bourbon barrels

This one got a B
It's a nice golden orange color and very clear with a light lacy head. It smelled strong of wood and spice with a slight dank finish. It was crisp and slightly bitter with a deep citrus finish, but as it got warmer (recommended to serve at cellar temp, they weren't kidding) it got better. The citrus became more sweet and the dank was replaced with a honey-like smell. It's crisp and clean and you could definitely drink this one all night as it doesn't lay real heavy in your belleh.



Dogfish Head Theobroma
Dogfish Head Brewery- Milton, DE
ABV: 9%
Ale brewed with honey, cocoa nibs, cocoa powder, ancho chilis and ground anatto

This one got an A
I have to say this one was my favorite. It was close with the Hitachino, but this one was a bright, clear honey gold with a thick rich head. It had a very woody, citrusy smell when cold then as it warmed the cocoa nibs really stood out. I'm pretty sure this was the best tasting beer I've had, probably ever. It started with a bright citrus taste then rolled into a sweet chocolatey smooth yumminess with a slight spice. It's light in your stomach and I probably should have started with this one. You could easily drink this till you pass out.

Now obviously I didn't get through all 7 bottles last night, I'm kinda small and I was way too full by the end of this. But as I review them, I'll post them here.

Is it a sin?
Or could it be the best worst thing ever?
http://theeatenpath.com/2008/10/14/six-degrees-of-caramelized-bacon/

I had this crap laying around so I says to myself, why not?
Plus it took like 5 minutes to throw together.

2 bananas cut into quarters
1/4 stick butter (unsalted)
couple heaping tablespoons of brown sugar
cinnamon
amaretto

Melt butter, add sugar and melt that, add cinnamon, toss in the bananas and spoon the sauce over them. Add the amaretto and sautee till the sugar caramelizes.
Take bananas out (you can put em on ice cream if you want) and spoon the sauce over them. YUM.

(Yes, it IS like bananas foster but I had no banana liquer or rum[which is how you make that])

EAT IT!

Somewhere on here I saw someone make a comment to add lime juice to any jar of salsa to make it better(probably not a bad idea). This is a lot better than anything you get from a jar so I thought I'd just throw it out there.

5 big juicy tomatoes
1 small red onion
about 5 cloves of garlic (or small handful)
a wad of fresh cilantro
juice of 2 small limes
little olive oil
salt & pepper

optional:
you can add all of the below or one or two or whatever, depending on how hot you want it or the smoky flavor level you want...
fresh raw jalapeno
jalepenos broiled till the skin blackens, then peeled
canned chipotles plus adobo
roasted pablano peppers

Blend or chop really small.
Dip yer balls in it. (wait no don't, that shit would burn)

Not that you're incredibly interested, but we talked about  it briefly the other night.

I went to our Total Wine store (heaven)    and I was checking out their Cream Sherries, Ports and other dessert wines.
I picked up a sherry that I saw online when I was looking it up called Alvear Solera.


The bottle makes it look like it was made in grandma's tub, which really made me want to try it since I found an amaretto of the same nature that's better than "big label" stuff.

Whole.Different.Ball.Park.

Apparently it has like a 90 or 91 rating. The color, aroma, taste, everything about it is different from the cheap stuff at about $8 more. So worth it. It's almost too good to cook with (but I wouldn't quite go that far since I'm a foody)

But like I said, you're probably not that into it but I thought I'd mention it anyway.
Goes good with chocolate. (Lindt milk chocolate w/ orange)

since you are a boner-fried chef and all, do you have any advice for someone w/ no formal culinary training who's interested in teh culinary arts?

squid- wants to be an iron chef one day, yo

no recipe.
on our trip we stopped in savannah and took one of those gay trolley tours.
we kinda felt like we had to if we were gonna get a good glance at the city before we had to leave.
i had some bacon from the waffle house in my purse and snacked on it during the trolley ride. this, for some reason, made my husband laugh very hard.

the end.

My friend apparently REALLY likes squirrels and requested this:


So I obliged. It was fun
She's a real champ though cause I've been told I'm heavy handed.

(other tats have no pics yet)

....When the friends come over and booze up my fiance.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5910025260030804874&hl=en

do not try to sleep.
efforts will be fruitless.

(yes it's long, yes it's boring. but golly it's cute.)

p.s. - synth type machines (on desk) were all built by him.

No. It wasn't.

I had to sign a paper acknowledging the dress code and the fact that I can no longer wear flip flops to work. I know boohoo. But they have a neeet platform and make me taller, and more waterproof in our flooded parking lot.

I got rear ended (again) in the rain on the way to work, so while waiting for the highway patrol... my feet got soaked.

I was an hour late, that I don't get paid for, and we had an incredible amount of work due to scheduling error. All the while I had swamp foot.

Didn't get home till 11:30pm to find that my son totally half assed and botched his math homework so now I get to sit there with him at 7:30 in the morning to make him do it over and do it right.

Glad it's over.
Tomorrow should be better....


right?


That's all. I'm done now. Sorry.

i say C-
needs improvement:

please to be putting no moar bees in my mailbox.
kthx.








that is all.

So my boyfriend likes to make circuit boards for synthesizers n whatnot and I'm one of those artst-craftsy types and said "hmmm, those resistors'd make neat jewelry".
End result:

....this is what happened: