Mangrove's Seasonal Dilemma

[Mangrove]

Act 1.

[Mangrove is ambling about his new, snow-covered neighbourhood. He passes a person out jogging]

Mang: Hi! Merry Christmas!

n00b1: WTF?? Merry WHAT!?? You fucking elitist Christan nazi fundamentalist scumbag oppressor!!

Mang: huh?

n00b1: Whatsamatter with you, buddy? Didn't you know it's HAPPY HOLIDAYS? [n00b storms off]


Act 2

[Mangrove is at his local convenience store and meets another resident]

Mang: [hesitantly] Happy Holidays?

n00b2: WTF??? HAPPY WHAT!?? I'm so sick of you liberal, nigger & jew loving, dope smoking faggots undermining our good, Christian, American way of life!!! [whacks Mang on the nose] CHRISTMAS IS STILL ABOUT CHRIST YOU FUCKER!!!

[LMNO]

Correct greeting:  "Fuck off, you glorious faggot!"

[Cain]

Just say "Christmas sucks and no, I am not interested in your silly religious cult".

[Mangrove]

Correct greeting:  "Fuck off, you glorious faggot!"

[scribbles out 'happy holidays' from LMN0's card]

ok..so 'fuck off you glorious faggot' it is then!



hmm...i don't think mrs mang' is going to go for it.


sooo...when did asking people to be 'happy' or 'merry' became a controversial act?

[LMNO]

Actually, catch them all off guard, and start wishing everyone a happy Hanukkah.





Then, accuse them of being anti-Semites.

[Mangrove]

Actually, catch them all off guard, and start wishing everyone a happy Hanukkah.





Then, accuse them of being anti-Semites.

i like that.

i'm sticking with 'merry mithras'

[Bella]

I usually just say something non-specifically inflamatory - like, "Hiya, hope you're enjoying the holiday season." And then they start bitching about the traffic and the crowds at the malls and I feel smug because I don't have to deal with any of that stuff and we both go away happy.

[Mangrove]

How about I just approach people and say "Happy!" ?

[Cain]

Try the "I hate holidays vibe".  It works.  People stop annoying you if they see you glower at tinsel.

[fluffy]

bah humbug

[Mangrove]

So what's the low down on 'kwanzaa'?

[fluffy]

So what's the low down on 'kwanzaa'?

isn't that the holiday african americans invented
so they don't have to worship some white guy in robes?

[Mangrove]

So what's the low down on 'kwanzaa'?

isn't that the holiday african americans invented
so they don't have to worship some white guy in robes?

this never caught on in the UK. i think the first time i ever heard the word 'kwanzaa' was about 10 years ago when they started showing 'rikki lake' in england.

is kwanzaa like festivus?

[hooplala]

It's more like Festivus than it is like the Salazorian "Box Day" Enrico was telling me about.

[Cain]

Why did you have to mention Rikki Lake?  That show scarred my childhood. Thats why I take an unhealthy interest in America, because that damn program brainwashed me