The Last Whiskey Bar

[Salty]

I like the FB Discordians. They're happy, excitable idiots. I feel many religions could learn from them. Not Discordianism though, we've got shit to deal with over here.

Sometimes.

[Sita]

Does this also mean that hipsters will be more likely to listen to my music and say that they liked me before i was cool?

In about 20 more years.  There are stages to this.

Last month, I heard Aerosmith playing on the piped-in music in a drugstore.  True story.

Realizing that they no longer bother censoring George Michael's "I Want Your Sex" and that they play it on the "Soft Classics" station made me feel olllllllld.

I could have gone much longer without knowing that...

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Republic of gamers by machinae supremacy. Heretics all. But at least these ones are honest heretics.

[Juana]

I just traded in a handful of my old school books and I have about a zillion more I'm trying to get rid of, too. Need to dig out the giant box I have somewhere of my community college books.
Also discovered I can trade in kindle text books. Good. I only have one and this spring will be my last semester, but good.

[Phox]

Welcome to the club, Twid. My beard has been going grey at an alarming rate.

A cautionary tale for you, my Wiking friend: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MV5w262XvCU

[Suu]

MOTHERFUCKING BLACK WIDOW ALMOST LANDED ON ME ON THE COUCH. 

[Luna]

So hey guys, it turns out that Facebook Discordians are INCREDIBLY easy to fuck with. I know that Howl has known that for a long time, but I'm finally trying it and they're getting all catty on me. 

They're more fun than you know what to do with...Especially since many of them were of the fold before they were lured away by Zuckerberg and turned into heathen. 

I feel an epistle coming on.

Seriously, I love that if you reply in a literal and factual fashion to anyone about anything, they promptly start accusing you of being "too serious" It's AWESOME. 

The epistle should get some froth going.

Which group are you trolling?  the 2011 ones?

I'm trolling the regular one; the one that has like 3000 members and nobody posts anything above the intellectual equivalent of "replace the word "love" in a song with the word "fuck".

I'm not kidding about that. 

There's a guy named Steve who is seriously butthurt because I tl;dr at him and then bumped a bunch of the stupidest threads I could find.

To old timers:  Think PD, circa early 2003.  All day.

It's true. And horrible. The inanity is leaking out EVERYWHERE, and Steve is really, REALLY butthurt. Now he's following me around in different threads sulking at me.

You're turning into me, you know. 

Oh yay! So I guess there's at least ONE benefit of getting older... I get to become a curmudgeon.

Yep.  And there's a benefit for guys, too.  The single male/female ratio approaches 0.

Doesn't help if you're not single, of course.

OH, YEAH, THAT'S THE OTHER THING!  Your brain will try to make you look like a TOTAL HORSE'S ASS by convincing you that you can STAY YOUNG if you date or fuck younger people!  You can be that ridiculous combover/cougar, fucking around with someone half your age, while everyone openly laughs at you!  BE THE FIRST ASSHOLE IN YOUR OLD FOLKS HOME TO RUN OUT AND GET A TWENTYSOMETHING FOR THE PASSENGER SEAT OF YOUR MIATA!

If you're REALLY lucky, this will be paired with a complete deterioration of your sense of taste, and the onset of utter stupidity.

Case in point, the NYEX.   

Who is now liable for child support until he is old enough to retire.

Stupid dumbfuck.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

HEY ROGER

My dog is almost back to normal now.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

HEY ROGER

My dog is almost back to normal now.

Next time, feed it some mai thais.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Welcome to the club, Twid. My beard has been going grey at an alarming rate.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

HEY ROGER

My dog is almost back to normal now.

Next time, feed it some mai thais.

Oh, I think not! She peed all over the couch and did a weird dance after licking her crotch for 40 minutes. And for a while she got stuck jumping on the couch and couldn't stop without intervention. Luckily she's come down and is probably ready for bedtime.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I like the FB Discordians. They're happy, excitable idiots. I feel many religions could learn from them. Not Discordianism though, we've got shit to deal with over here.

Sometimes.

Yeah. I'm gonna keep fucking with them until they burn out on it. Which will be never.

[Cain]

Do I have to go to Facebook to see Roger's epistle to them?

I ask mainly because I'm logged into my main FB account at the moment, and I have to log out to log back in under my Discordian one.  And I know if I go in under my main one, I'm going to be confronted with the hideousness of seeing the idiots I went to school with posting stupid shit about how they didnt get an iPhone 5 so the world is going to end (you're 26...buy one) and similar stuff.

Basically, I'd need to fortify myself with alcohol before doing such a thing.  Real alcohol, not champagne.  And it's too early in the day for that, even during the holidays.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Dear god I am so hungry.

And I must watch my past. Damn you.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I just realized something.

I've ignored Villager. Where she mattered the most. Where she and I crossed paths.  Jesus fuck I think I get her entirely now.  All you have to do is turn down the bass. And that's exactly what she wants you to do...