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PD, This is an Intervention

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, October 02, 2012, 09:43:39 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

October 02, 2012, 09:43:39 PM
Okay, I know you think you have things well in hand, but we've been standing on the sidelines, watching as your noob addiction gets completely out of hand. 

Just look at yourself.  Pants crusted to your thighs, drool on your chin, glassy eyes...You've become an addict.  You sit viewing the forums, just waiting for Holist, etc, to post, so you can HUFF HIM.  He's become your STASH.  You never talk about anything else.  We come to see you, to maybe get you to talk about, oh, I don't know...A FUCKING REAL LIFE WARP DRIVE, for example, but you're curled up in a corner, on the nod, with a noob still stuck in your arm.

And when he's not here, you talk about him, and hover around the horrible train wreck threads, waiting for him while clawing at your arms and grinding your teeth.

This can't continue.  So we've signed you all up for the Ronald Reagan Cure.  You'll be beaten for a few weeks, with the occasional "cold water cure", and maybe shocked a few times, until you begin to show some signs of life that don't involve your addiction.  Screaming incoherently, for example.

We didn't want to do this, but we're so very concerned for you and shit.  Just sign the waivers and SHUT UP, and let the medicine sink in, one fist at a time.

Remember:  We're doing this because we CARE.

Sincerely,
Benito Mussolini
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#1
October 02, 2012, 09:49:06 PM
Also, disregard any bullshit about me somehow making a profit out of this by farming you out to Bayer as test subjects.  That's just another hallucination caused by your illness.  Sign the fucking forms.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Anna Mae Bollocks

#2
October 02, 2012, 10:27:46 PM Last Edit: October 02, 2012, 10:57:15 PM by TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS
BUT...I CAN'T GET THROUGH ENOUGH OF A HOLIST CRAPPY ROBERT PLANT KNOCKOFF POST TO REPLY IN ANY CAPACITY


Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Faust

#3
October 02, 2012, 10:51:20 PM
Ok, I'm here. I should be asleep but I'm not so what do you want to talk about?
Sleepless nights at the chateau

Internet Jesus

#4
October 02, 2012, 10:58:24 PM
:sniffle:  No one got all obsessed over me OR butthurt over obsession with me and I'm a bigger n00b than whatshisbucket.

Guess I should be more of a dickhole.
HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS!

Juana

#5
October 02, 2012, 11:29:14 PM
Talk about drugs.
"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."

Faust

#7
October 02, 2012, 11:39:30 PM
In my libertarian atheist state all drugs will be legal, as long as they are used responsibly... As sacraments of Magik Rituals.
Sleepless nights at the chateau

AFK

#8
October 03, 2012, 12:23:47 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on October 02, 2012, 11:29:14 PM
Talk about drugs.


I did get a shiny new report today about the health impacts of marijuana use.  Just...say...the...word.
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

Freeky

#9
October 03, 2012, 12:26:59 AM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on October 03, 2012, 12:23:47 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on October 02, 2012, 11:29:14 PM
Talk about drugs.


I did get a shiny new report today about the health impacts of marijuana use.  Just...say...the...word.

This might just be me, but no thanks, RWHN.  That sounds like a terrible idea.

AFK

#10
October 03, 2012, 12:28:05 AM
But, but, but.....it's SHINY!
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

Juana

#11
October 03, 2012, 12:30:38 AM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on October 03, 2012, 12:26:59 AM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on October 03, 2012, 12:23:47 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on October 02, 2012, 11:29:14 PM
Talk about drugs.


I did get a shiny new report today about the health impacts of marijuana use.  Just...say...the...word.

This might just be me, but no thanks, RWHN.  That sounds like a terrible idea.
Shiny or no, this ^^^.
"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."

Internet Jesus

#12
October 03, 2012, 01:22:20 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on October 02, 2012, 11:29:14 PM
Talk about drugs.

Heroin, shot straight into the scrotum is nice.
HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS!

Anna Mae Bollocks

#13
October 03, 2012, 02:30:36 AM
Quote from: Internet Jesus on October 03, 2012, 01:22:20 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on October 02, 2012, 11:29:14 PM
Talk about drugs.

Heroin, shot straight into the scrotum is nice.

How do you tie off a scrote?
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Internet Jesus

#14
October 03, 2012, 03:11:40 AM
HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS!
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