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   Okay, you're right.

   I've been raging against your machine for years now, and I think it's time that I become an honest, open-minded person like you are...and admit what is really happening.

   I'm pretty young. Old enough that people expect things from me, but young enough that they still look down on me. And, truth be told, I've only ever said anything bad about cops, or government, or religion, or political parties, or America™, because I was angry, or wanted the attention, or never spent any time researching/ thinking for myself. I just got caught up in the liberal spin machine. All my college professors did my thinking for me.

   And, I guess, somebody did their thinking for them.

   Also...somehow I was unaffected by gun-toting, flag-waving professors. Or there weren't any, maybe. The liberal professors probably made me imagine that.

   Truth is that you're right. You can have small government that simultaneously does all these things you want it to while being both a Christian state and not a theocracy. And it's possible because YOU'RE PEOPLE (Real Americans) are good people. They have no ulterior motives and no faults that might result in any kind of failure or corruption. They are, also, entirely bribe-proof. They are the pasty, balding, Super-Men of politics.

   All cops are qualified, respectable, pure-hearted heroes. Not a single one of them could possibly just like the idea of holding a gun. Nuff' said there.

   You are right, I always knew that your religion was the right one. I'd just been fighting it because I'm young and stupid or whatever your reason was. Let me let you in on a secret. We ALL know it. Muslims, Jews, Atheists, Buddhists, Hindus, Agnostics. None of us actually believe that shit, we're just some combination of brainwashed, angry at good, serving the devil, or stubborn, or in awe and fear of the real God (trademark of Buffalo Rock).

   Alright, I'll admit there is nothing racist about the immigration argument. "Black" and "Hispanic" neighborhoods have more crime because their skin color makes them criminal. There is nothing racist about that! No, poverty is certainly not to blame. Everyone knows capitalism is the shit. Even liberals (despite how they're always mad because we manage to work hard AND be happy. Idiots!). Thankfully we still have the innocent, father-like face of big business to guide us into a new, crime free era of Happiness™ and Freedom™.

   A small government would somehow be less crazy. No chance it would be even remotely similar to a big government. Because...less people are less susceptible to ulterior motives, or bribes, or general dickery. It grows with numbers. Science.

   And the only reason I didn't make the connections earlier is because I'm young, stupid, and have never thought for myself. Although that doesn't explain all the other, older people who pretend to dislike all these great ideas you've been vomiting all over my carpet compassionately sharing with me through your utter selflessness.

   Seriously,though, fuck yourself.

All I have to say on the subject at the moment:

Electoral College. What the fuck is that shit about?

also:

I don't really need or want a computer in my phone. Just a phone, thank ya.

Found this while resarching sexism in advertisement for a class.

Oh, college...

http://www.businesspundit.com/10-most-sexist-print-ads-from-the-1950s/

My favorite is the last one. The rest fill me with 100% 

I had to take a food safety course for my fancy new delivery job. Nothing unusual
UNTIL!
The form/test/whatever made the claim that food safety is especially important nowadays because of 9/11.

Which reminds me of all that nonsense people generally do in the name of being in a "post 9/11 world", but with the added strangeness due to the fact that
1. That seems to be giving a lot of undue importance to the food service industry and it's role in preventing terrorism.
and
2. The whole test amounted to "wash your hands, idiots." Which is something you'd think they would bring up no matter what.


Anyways, that's all I got.

   Alright, listen.

   I know that we, as a people, feel that we, as a people, have that right to this disney-perfect existence. And I can't, in all honestly, fault somebody for wanting the best possible life for themselves. But I worry that you, and actually most of us, have blindly accepted this idea that if you try hard enough to shoot for a life without disorder, you'll get it.

   And you wont. Nobody will. And that's okay.

   Life is chaos. You try and create some anarchy, some shmuck will come along and fix it up all nice and tidy. You try and create order, some other shmuck'll come along and mess it up. You can't be happy in a world where you obsess over creating a sterile, blissful environment, because it's impossible. You're attached to a life that nobody can have. And whenever you don't get it, you'll just feel worse than you did before.

   Accept the chaos. Buy a new carpet and spill shit on it. Throw away something you'd like to hold on to. Be late to work because fuck it, not because of traffic. Be early, and blame THAT on the traffic. Don't vote for the man or woman you think will fix the country, vote for the one that'll fuck things up. We use an electoral college, your vote doesn't count anyway!

   And that's really a perfect example. The Government set up the electoral college to help the voting process. To make it nice and orderly. But all it really does is mess things up!

   Woah, hold on! Put down the gun, I'm not done. Everybody wants stability. And sometimes that's fine. Some people just want to break shit, and sometimes that's fine too. But neither one of those two things are permanent. It's all chaos. Law and regulation aren't synonymous with good! And if you think the kind of society that places all its effort on order would really afford us any freedom, I don't know what to do for you.

   So yes, officer. That is a dead hooker in my trunk. A dead hooker I embrace (metaphorically) with everything I have, because life is chaos and I don't want it any other way!

   Wait, wait, wait! Put down the handcuffs! Didn't you listen to anything I just said?!

I'm thinkingabout starting a small blog of 100 or so poems for people who don't like poetry. Until recently all I hadn't liked it either, and I figure this might help a few people become a little more literate or...something.

So far I've got (among a scarce few others):

Departure- Sylvia Plath
When I Have Fears I may Cease to Be- John Keats
Thomas Hardy- Channel Firing
Oh, Blush Not So- John Keats
Brilliance- Mark Doty

Made this in response to the lost dog posters, which I am a huge fan of. I really want to make one for a guy seeking a woman, preferably using an everyday picture of somebody involved in homoerotic media.

Also, thinking about a "supervillain seeks hero" kind of thing I might put up if I ever finish it.

   Attention, Citizens!

   There has been some confusion over what being an "American" means as of late. Some people would argue that simply being born in The United States of America makes you an "American." Others might tell you that the borders that define The US of A are entirely imaginary, and the concept of being an "American" is superfluous to say the least.

   None of those people are "Americans."

   See, an "American" is a patriot. And a patriot is somebody who does what's best for their country, regardless of how it might seem or sound. An "American" supports big corporations, because if they were really doing anything bad, they wouldn't be in business. A real "American" supports the troops, which means supporting the war on terror.

   Some people might argue that sending soldiers to die is actually not very supportive of them, but those people don't know what soldiers want and they sure aren't "Americans."

   We (also known as "They", as in "You know They always say..." or "That's just what They want you to do...") understand how this might be confusing, so we've compiled a handy hit bullet list so as to acclimate you to the system in as painlessly as possible.

   * You must belong to one of the established judeo-christian religions
   * No hooligans
   * No vegetarians
   * No liberals
   * No independents
   * No progressives
   * No dark skinned folk.
   * You must enjoy some form of country music.
   * You must be a "good ole' boy." Somehow, you can also be a billionaire capitalist.
   * I noticed you were thinking this sounds a little crazy. We didn't tell you to think that. Quit thinking for yourself.
   * You must support any push for war, regardless of how ludicrous it might seem.
   * You must suggest we bomb, nuke, invade, etc. any country that isn't primarily Caucasian. Just tell 'em they were beyond saving.
   * Seriously, quit thinking for yourself.
   * No feminists! Homes are run by MEN.
   * You must insist that we should go back to a simpler time. Don't mention that those were the same times when schools had nuclear bomb drills.
   * No fags.
   * No fatties.

   Anybody who disagrees is a socialist. Why do you want to murder our children?!

              Stop child murder. Be an American.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RbgzqFtcALA&feature=youtu.be

That.

Please come pick your children up from Polk County.

http://usnews.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/03/19/10761802-using-unholy-water-florida-atheists-scrub-away-blessing-from-local-road

I don't even know what to make of this. Is blessing a road stupid? Yes. Does it really do anything? No. So is it anything to get upset about?...As an atheist living in the bible belt, my answer is going to be  ABSOLUTELY NOT.

As ridiculous as that church sounds explaining themselves, HFA sounds worse. Especially here:

"We come in peace," Humanists of Florida (HFA) director Mark Palmer shouted to crowd, according to News 9. "Now that's normally what aliens say when they visit a new planet, but we're not aliens, we're atheists!"

Thoughts?

Finally finished this song. It's essentially me wondering if trying to change anything is worth it, and then deciding that it's more important to try and fail than to never try at all.

http://soundcloud.com/johnny-panic-1

I'd been sitting on it for a while since my friend/ musical cohort 13 moved away, and he owned the recording interface. Pretty glad to get it done. It'll go on an EP I'm thinking about calling either "Erisian Fields" "Discount" "The Void" (Kerouac reference if anybody was wondering) or "Choirs and Liars"

Bam! http://finance.yahoo.com/news/cola-giants-carcinogenic-row-190022574.html
Also: Bam! http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504763_162-57393386-10391704/coca-cola-to-revise-levels-of-4-mi-chemical-in-u.s-sodas-amid-cancer-concerns/
This is kind of interesting. On one hand, I'm inclined not to believe a major corporation that says its products don't cause cancer. On the other hand, the American Beverage Association ran a study saying it doesn't, and we have no reason to distrust them.

Just kidding! The American Beverage Association seems to be run by people with an interest in helping soft drink manufacturers. Go figure.

The FDA is still reviewing it, so we'll see what happens.

Personally, I thought it'd be excellent to have a bunch of discordians send in mail asking coca cola to continue putting carcinogens in its American products, and suggest new carcinogens they could add.

Thoughts on any of this?

I'm going to start off by apologizing if this is in the wrong place. I'm kind of unsure exactly where to put this.

Anyway, I love me some postergasm. It's essentially an excellent way to get out and do something when I would otherwise be playing video games, or being pretentious or some shit.

But there seems to be an area of some discussion among my cohorts and I about when postergasm potentially becomes vandalism, or at least morally uncomfortable. So...

Is posterGASM vandalism?
What is the distinction, if any?
Does the distinction matter?
If it can be taken too far, what might be an example?
Other thought?

This came up after I wanted to do a couple things that I was adviced might get me in a lot of trouble. Modifying stop signs to say "STOP following orders", stickering the bumper of cars being given away at the mall, and sneaking into a gated community to put propaganda in peoples mail boxes among a few other things.
I'm sort of in a gray area about all of the above questions, but I'd imagine there is a point where the extreme method counteracts the message. Hence why I didn't end up modifying those stop signs and have yet to sneak into the aforementioned gated community (although that one still might happen...)

I came up with this idea during the "labels imply products" thread, and although Iptuous kinda proved me somewhat incorrect, I though these would still be fairly excellent. The idea is to get people to associate what they view the opposition as with what the opposition views them as. They read "sexual deviant" and go
"Oh, yeah. Gay people are totally sexual deviants."
then read "hate mongering fascist" and, in theory, might associate the two opinions. Potentially change some minds or whatever. I dunno. Finish looking at these and then argue with me.

EDITED! To amend my drug stuff, and also to add a cover, after Navkats suggestion. And add some more posters.



















suggestions on how I can improve any of these are more than welcome.

How we label ourselves and others is something I've been thinking about a lot recently. But especially labels where some slant or spin is involved.
For instance, anti-abortion is "pro-life", implying that pro-abortion is "pro-death." Similarly, pro-abortion is "pro-choice", implying the opposite viewpoint is "anti-choice."
Despite belonging in a grey area, I've taken to telling people I'm pro-death.
A lot of these kinds of things have such an obvious slant it's hard to believe people take them seriously. And the weirdest part is that the presence of that slant implies, to me, the willingess to decieve people on some level or another.

There have been studies (sorry, no link) that show peoples opinion on gay marriage changes drastically based on if it is called "gay marriage" or "same sex marriage."

Yeeanywho. Thoughts?

I'm writing/ recording a sort of anarcho-hip hop type thing under the name Johnny Panic (Sylvia Plath reference ftw). I cooked up this beat for somebody else, but it was a little too heavy, so I'll probably use it instead.
Anyway, it's called "3178". Let me know what you think:
http://www.mediafire.com/?insa5gl5g6gfoug

On a side note does anybody know of a site that does streaming, instead of/ in addition to downloading?

This is kind of crazy. I mean, a lot if it probably isn't too far outside the norm for worker treatment in a bunch of countries, but this is too surreal and ugly not to be noteworthy.

http://news.yahoo.com/trip-ifactory-nightline-gets-unprecedented-glimpse-inside-apples-001926196--abc-news.html

Howdy, folks. First time poster, here. I got an idea for flyers I want to put on windsheilds, or potentially in envelops with "To You (yes, you)" written on them. On words like "failed" "Weirder" and "hallucinations" I changed the font to represent the conecept, but it might not show up. Any ideas to better it?
--------------------
Don't worry!


   Six years ago you were bitten by the Arachnid Decouvrez, a spider whose poison can cause powerful, long-lasting hallucinations.
   But...you knew something seemed off, right? Luckily, we've engineered a cure! Any minute now you should wake up, and start your life. It might be a few hours, at most.
   Until then, please resume your current existence as closely as possible to how you have been. Watch American Idol™, listen to your iPod™, and eat your Mcdonalds™. Any moment now, real life should kick in and you can live in the world as it really is. No crime, no hate, no immorality, no lying politicians, no wars, no crummy job. Every spouse is a supermodel and every friend is your best friend. Any second now...
   One quick thing, though. Things might get a lot weirder before they get better. Like receiving strange notes, being accosted by cabbages, or being introduced to modern day Discordians. If any two of these things happen, the serum may have failed, and you could be forced to try and change your current life for the better.