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But what about Belgium?

WHAT IS BELGIUM?

SMALL, MEANINGLESS COUNTRY IN EUROPE, NO?

I BELIEVE CHIEF EXPORT IS BROKEN DREAMS.

PANGO! INTERNATIONAL NOT INTERESTED TO BE THAT INTERNATIONAL.

PANGO! INTERNATIONAL
DISCORDICORP DIVISION



M   E   M   O   R   A   N   D   U   M

EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY, ALL CURRENT AND FUTURE DISCORDICORP EMPLOYEES (FULL-TIME AND PART-TIME), CONTRACTORS, CONSULTANTS, AND OTHER  AFFILIATES MUST CEASE USING THE RESTROOM ON FLOOR 3. AS YOU KNOW THESE FACILITIES ARE HOME TO AN INVASIVE FUNGUS THAT THRIVES ON HUMAN EXCREMENT, AND WHILE WE APPRECIATE EVERYONE'S ENTHUSIASM FOR SEEING JUST HOW HUNGRY IT IS, THE TENANTS ON FLOOR 2 ARE BEGINNING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT SEEPAGE.

FOR MORE INFORMATION CONTACT PHIL IN MAINTENANCE.

Even though my salary is exactly the same, apparently working for PANGO! INTERNATIONAL puts me in a different tax bracket somehow.

Mr. The DR PANGO!, what exactly is going on here?

TECHNICALLY YOU ARE WHOLLY OWNED SUBSIDIARY OF PANGO! INTERNATIONAL. THIS IS MOSTLY HARMLESS LEGAL CLASSIFICATION BUT DOES HAVE SOMEWHAT INCONVENIENT EFFECT OF REQUIRING YOUR NET INCOME APPROACH ZERO AFTER TAXES. IS COMPLICATED, PANGO! NOT HAVE TIME FOR LEARNING IT ALL. ASK ACCOUNTING DEPARTMENT.

ALSO WE HAVE NOT YET HIRED ACCOUNTING DEPARTMENT.

P!I WILL NOT HARM DISCORDIAN BRAND BY RELEASING ANYTHING UNDER SAID BRAND WHICH WOULD EMBARRASS DISCORDIANS. FOR EXAMPLE, P!I PROMISE NOT TO DEVELOP AND PUBLISH "DISCORDIAN GUIDE TO PORTLAND AREA PUBLIC RESTROOM DO'S AND DON'TS"

GLORIOUS PANGO!, How do we know you won't do a yahoo and take all the porn? What makes this hostile takeover more trustworthy than average?

PANGO! INTERNATIONAL IS GLOBAL LEADER IN PORN. WOULD MAKE NO SENSE FOR TAKING AWAY THE PORN, AND WOULD CAUSE DANGEROUS SPIKE IN FURRY UNEMPLOYMENT. HAVE YOU NEVER WONDER WHY PANHANDLERS NEVER DRESSED AS ZEBRAS? IS THANKS TO PANGO! INTERNATIONAL.

AS FOR TRUSTWORTHINESS, COME NOW MORTAL DOG, EXACTLY WHAT DOES "MORE TRUSTWORTHY THAN AVERAGE" MEAN WHEN TALKING ABOUT DISCORDICORP™? DISCORDIANS LESS TRUSTWORTHY THAN APOLOGY TEXT FROM ANTHONY WEINER. IS NO STANDARD.

PANGO how do you feel about half bear/half men?

ALWAYS OPPORTUNITIES FOR ANIMAL TEST SUBJECTS IN PANGO! INTERNATIONAL COSMETICS LABORATORY. IS DEPARTMENT WITH FASTEST GROWING SURVIVAL RATE!

PANGO! DISAPPROVE OF THIS ENDEAVOR.

PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA ALREADY TOTALLY ILLEGIBLE AND IMPOSSIBLE TO READ. WHY IS REASON FOR MAKING IT MORE WORSE THAN ALREADY IT IS?

BE LIKE PANGO! AND MAXIMIZE BENEFICIAL GRAMMAR FOR GOOD OF MANKIND.

PANGO! TRANSLATE ENTIRE PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA FOR YOU NOW:

WILL AND KATE HAD A BABY! WILL AND KATE HAD A BABY!

Y'all shit ain't right.

PANGO! IS MERELY KILLING THE BUDDHA.

PANGO! I would like you to consider my offer of dinner at my place. PANGO! will have a few glasses of wine and relax, relax, relax.

PANGO! MUST GRACIOUSLY DECLINE DINNER AT THIS TIME, WITH LEGITIMATE SADNESS FEELING, AS PANGO! ADVANCED PHYSIOLOGY PRECLUDES ASSIMILATION OF NUTRITIONAL UNITS VIA FACEPORTAL. HOWEVER PANGO! GLADLY WILL CONSUME HUMAN-GRADE INTOXIFICATION FLUID AT EARLIEST OPPORTUNITY.

HOLD ON, DISPATCH, I'M... WHAT? A ROBBERY? WHERE? OH SHIT THAT IS MY LOCATION, OVER. THAT IS MY LOCATION. NO NEED TO SEND ADDITIONAL UNITS.

PANGO! DISAPPROVE OF THIS ENDEAVOR.

PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA ALREADY TOTALLY ILLEGIBLE AND IMPOSSIBLE TO READ. WHY IS REASON FOR MAKING IT MORE WORSE THAN ALREADY IT IS?

BE LIKE PANGO! AND MAXIMIZE BENEFICIAL GRAMMAR FOR GOOD OF MANKIND.

PANGO! TRANSLATE ENTIRE PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA FOR YOU NOW:

WILL AND KATE HAD A BABY! WILL AND KATE HAD A BABY!

What if we refuse? Speaking purely hypothetically, of course.

EMPLOYMENT, LIKE PERMISSION TO CONTINUE SUCKING DOWN PANGO! INTERNATIONAL BRAND OXYGEN, IS ENTIRELY AT-WILL AND NO PARTY IS UNDER COMPULSION OR OBLIGATION TO CONTINUE DOING EITHER.

Pango sound like Uncle Enrico 

YOU NOT KNOW PANGO!'S DECIDEDLY IMPRESSIVE STORY. PANGO! WILL TELL YOU SOMETIME. NOT NOW, DOG. TOO BUSY COMPILING BUSINESS PAPERS FOR HANDLING BY INSIDE MAN AT I.R.S.

Will I keep my benefits?

ALL DISCORDICORP™ BENEFITS WILL REMAIN IN PLACE. AS LONGTIME ENDENTURED SERVANT EMPLOYEE OF DISCORDICORP™ DOUBTLESSLY YOU REMEMBER BENEFIT PACKAGE INCLUDE TWO SHOWERS PER WEEK AND ONE HOUR EXERCISE IN ARTIFICIAL SUNLIGHT PER DAY.