Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Principia Discussion => Topic started by: =POPE= Monkey Smith on April 19, 2005, 05:17:23 AM

Title: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: =POPE= Monkey Smith on April 19, 2005, 05:17:23 AM
The goal of this operation is for you to gain the ability to play jokes on yourself, so that you are more able to play jokes on others.

The first step is to open your cranium, and, using medical implements (or scissors), segment the connections between the two sides of your brain.  Then repair your skull and scalp.  If you aren't sure of your capabilities here, you should probably cunsult either a liscensed physian or a squirrel before beginning.

Then, with one half of your brain, come up with a fun prank to play on yourself.  Imagine how surprised your other half will be when he finds he has had a bucket of water dumped on him... by himself!

Hail Eris.
Title: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: fluffy on April 19, 2005, 05:22:27 AM
:shock:


(that was me
surprising myself)
Title: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: saint aini on April 19, 2005, 05:31:36 AM
have some nutmeg instead
Title: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: =POPE= Monkey Smith on April 19, 2005, 05:34:27 AM
Is it surprising nutmeg?
Title: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: Chaplin_Sinatra_Fonzarell on April 19, 2005, 07:31:26 AM
Nutmeg's a psychoactive drug similar to weed. Just in case there are one or two people on here who haven't read Naked Lunch.
Title: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: Irreverend Hugh, KSC on April 19, 2005, 08:59:56 AM
Tequila works much better and it's not just for breakfast anymore.
Title: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: LMNO on April 19, 2005, 02:06:23 PM
Please, stop suggesting people take nutmeg.  It's a crap drug.  The high sucks.


If you don't want to break the law and actually get stoned,

Do as Hugh Do:  Tequila.
Title: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: DJRubberducky on April 19, 2005, 03:17:53 PM
I recently blew a chance to surprise myself.  Came back from a Beltane festival once again not having the nerve to ask if my current crush was in fact available.

My fuckin' SHRINK is advising me to go for it in October! :D
Title: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: Chaplin_Sinatra_Fonzarell on April 19, 2005, 06:50:12 PM
Quote from: LMNOPlease, stop suggesting people take nutmeg.  It's a crap drug.  The high sucks.


If you don't want to break the law and actually get stoned,

Do as Hugh Do:  Tequila.

Yeah, I hear it's pretty lame. For legal highs, go for coffee, sugar, salvia, Dextromethorphan, or if you have to, booze.
Title: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: Great Teacher Largo on April 25, 2005, 02:58:05 AM
How about some of us never touch alcohol again?  I think that would be a pretty good idea for me, considering I did some Tequila shots saturday morning/friday night, and then I did some whiskey shots, and then some gin shots, and then I drank some beer, and then I had some more gin, and some more tequila, and some more whiskey, and I was already on the bathroom floor with the bottle of tequila in my mouth chugging when I started to vomit, so atleast I reduced trip time to the porcelian idol.

Trying to make yourself happy with alcohol == 0
Title: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: Horab Fibslager on April 25, 2005, 03:04:51 AM
nobidy wants to hear it.

go tell your blog.
Title: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: J.R. 'Bob' Dobbs on April 25, 2005, 03:06:10 AM
Quote from: Great Teacher LargoHow about some of us never touch alcohol again?  I think that would be a pretty good idea for me, considering I did some Tequila shots saturday morning/friday night, and then I did some whiskey shots, and then some gin shots, and then I drank some beer, and then I had some more gin, and some more tequila, and some more whiskey, and I was already on the bathroom floor with the bottle of tequila in my mouth chugging when I started to vomit, so atleast I reduced trip time to the porcelian idol.

Trying to make yourself happy with alcohol == 0

Vodka, man.  It's my gift to you.

"Bob"
Title: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: Great Teacher Largo on April 25, 2005, 03:08:43 AM
I actually have heard that Vodka is good for you.  Well, less bad for you than most other hard liquors, due to the lowered levels of contaminants.

However, sir, I don't think I'll ever be able to touch another sip of alochol again.  I vomited till my nose bled.  I don't ever want to do that again.  Or, atleast not till the mucosal lining of my nose heals.
Title: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: Horab Fibslager on April 25, 2005, 03:10:02 AM
no you shoudl drink until you turn blue, then we won't ahve to suffer through you talkin to yourself.
Title: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: CORNHOLIO on April 25, 2005, 03:18:47 AM
Quote from: horabno you shoudl drink until you turn blue, then we won't ahve to suffer through you talkin to yourself.
:shock: that was harsh d00d :shock: but he is an assmunch, heh, heh, heh
Title: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: J.R. 'Bob' Dobbs on April 25, 2005, 03:21:10 AM
Quote from: Great Teacher LargoI actually have heard that Vodka is good for you.  Well, less bad for you than most other hard liquors, due to the lowered levels of contaminants.

However, sir, I don't think I'll ever be able to touch another sip of alochol again.  I vomited till my nose bled.  I don't ever want to do that again.  Or, atleast not till the mucosal lining of my nose heals.

You'll be drinking once your nose heals.

Unless someone spikes the rum with antabuse.

"Bob"
Title: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: Great Teacher Largo on April 25, 2005, 03:30:33 AM
I have a feeling you're right.  I guess I'll just have to relearn 'how to get drunk, but not that drunk.'

And I don't think anyone'll be spiking anything, because unless I'm at a bar (where it is hard to spike the drinks, since I never drink from something I've walked away from) I never drink something alocholic unless the other person drinks something from the same container or batch first.

Paranoid, but hey, it's a crazy world, and I live in a college town.  And someone lifted by Wallet off of my while I was drunk.
Title: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: Horab Fibslager on April 25, 2005, 03:30:59 AM
try drinking gasoline. it woudl do teh world a favour.
Title: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: J.R. 'Bob' Dobbs on April 25, 2005, 03:33:57 AM
Quote from: horabtry drinking gasoline. it woudl do teh world a favour.

'quila with antabuse is just as effective and half as deadly.  You should try it some time.
Title: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: Horab Fibslager on April 25, 2005, 03:35:44 AM
Quote from: J.R. 'Bob' Dobbs
Quote from: horabtry drinking gasoline. it woudl do teh world a favour.

'quila with antabuse is just as effective and half as deadly.  You should try it some time.

teh funny thing is i have drank gasoline before. odd story that one and it's all a bit fuzzy.

regardless umm what's antabuse?
Title: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: J.R. 'Bob' Dobbs on April 25, 2005, 03:43:59 AM
Quote from: horab
Quote from: J.R. 'Bob' Dobbs
Quote from: horabtry drinking gasoline. it woudl do teh world a favour.

'quila with antabuse is just as effective and half as deadly.  You should try it some time.

teh funny thing is i have drank gasoline before. odd story that one and it's all a bit fuzzy.

regardless umm what's antabuse?

Oh, it's this marvelous drug (http://justfuckinggoogleit.com/search.pl?query=antabuse) that lets you appreciate alcohol even more.
Title: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: Horab Fibslager on April 25, 2005, 03:51:37 AM
you knwo what's special about just fuckin google it, is you coudl've jsut answered the question. nto tha ti really care what it is oen way or the other, and you yourself brought it up.

btu it's all good dude!

personally while i drink to get drunk, i also enjoy the joureny to drunkeness more so than the state of beign as such. hell i rarely smoke d00bs when drinking, adn that'll work probaly way better than soem panzee rufee or whatever(i forget the term atm.)
Title: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: Irreverend Hugh, KSC on April 25, 2005, 10:02:53 AM
antabuse= teh win! :twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted:
Title: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: doubtless incident on April 27, 2005, 06:02:44 AM
i surprised myself last night. there was a noise in the closet and i was scared but didn't piss my pants. yea me.
Title: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: Guest on May 01, 2005, 06:33:42 PM
That was me in the closet, btw.
Title: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: Bella on May 01, 2005, 11:26:18 PM
Hehehe.....DS just surprised me.

I called to talk to Demonica and Ds answered the phone.
It was only obvious that she was up to something because everything she said to me was followed by an evil little giggle.
Our conversation went something like this:

Me: Hi honey, whatcha doing?

DS: Nothing, Auntie Bella......at least right this minute. hehehehe

Me: Really? Okay then. What've you been doing in the last half hour?

DS: Just waiting for my mom to wake up from her meditation. hehehehe

Me: Oh? Do you two have special plans for when she wakes up?

DS: No. hehehee.  But, I plan to watch her face. hehehehehe

Me: Okay, what'd you do to her!?!

DS: Nothing. hehehehe. I just saw the burrito and saw her shoulders and.....hehehe.

DS:OMG. She's moving! I'll have her call you after she gets the beans off her shoulders.  :twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted:
Title: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy on May 02, 2005, 12:26:35 AM
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of DoomHehehe.....DS just surprised me.
>snip<
DS:OMG. She's moving! I'll have her call you after she gets the beans off her shoulders.  :twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted:
We have to get the rest of the story.  I have been lucky so far.  If I doze off when I am alone with my son, he just gets out lots of toys.  I mean lots of toys.  And there was the toilet paper in the toilet, lots of toilet paper.  And he has used me for a pony, in my sleep.  And there are a lot of times he wakes me up with

COCKADODDLEDOO!!!

And it is doddle, not doodle.  It started as a joke during a camping trip.
Title: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: agent compassion on May 02, 2005, 01:03:08 AM
I love how you wrote the evil giggle Bella :D

God that's the best laugh I've had all day....
Title: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: Bella on May 02, 2005, 05:47:49 AM
Thanks.  :twisted:  It gets better.

Demonica said when she "woke up" from her meditation, DS and DuMeany were in the midst of a major fit of giggles and the poodle was bouncing up and down snapping his mouth open and shut with each leap. It took her a while to figure out there was half a burrito on her shoulder and the dog was trying to get it.
Title: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: Irreverend Hugh, KSC on May 02, 2005, 08:17:23 AM
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of DoomThanks.  :twisted:  It gets better.

Demonica said when she "woke up" from her meditation, DS and DuMeany were in the midst of a major fit of giggles and the poodle was bouncing up and down snapping his mouth open and shut with each leap. It took her a while to figure out there was half a burrito on her shoulder and the dog was trying to get it.

DS makes me proud. If/when I have kids, they are going to have to take after.... :twisted:
Title: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: chaosgraves:agentoferis on May 02, 2005, 05:14:22 PM
Quote from: Chaplin_Sinatra_FonzarellNutmeg's a psychoactive drug similar to weed. Just in case there are one or two people on here who haven't read Naked Lunch.
never trust a junkie.
Title: Re: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: Cain on December 21, 2009, 09:52:18 AM
4 unfunny alts in one thread.  Count em, people!
Title: Re: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: East Coast Hustle on December 21, 2009, 04:15:08 PM
and Hugh contemplating reproducing.

terrifying.
Title: Re: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: hooplala on December 21, 2009, 04:24:50 PM
Horab was an alt??  :eek:
Title: Re: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: hooplala on December 21, 2009, 04:25:20 PM
Wait, was fluffy the alt?  or Gnimbley?

I forget.
Title: Re: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: LMNO on December 21, 2009, 04:25:39 PM
Yes.
Title: Re: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: Kaienne on January 02, 2010, 07:58:53 PM
Would slipping an armed mousetrap into the pocket of a pair of pants you don't usually wear while hammered and forgetting about it count?
Title: Re: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: Xooxe on January 02, 2010, 11:11:28 PM
That was like walking in on an archaeological dig site and screaming "ROAR!" at the top of your lungs.
Title: Re: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: fogukaup on January 03, 2010, 04:04:31 AM
my father always used to sit me on his lap, take off his hat and say 'why play tricks when you can cunt lick'.

Title: Re: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: the last yatto on January 04, 2010, 07:37:58 AM
o look a bar stool
Title: Re: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: Doktor Howl on July 30, 2013, 06:06:11 PM
Quote from: =POPE= Monkey Smith on April 19, 2005, 05:17:23 AM
The goal of this operation is for you to gain the ability to play jokes on yourself, so that you are more able to play jokes on others.

The first step is to open your cranium, and, using medical implements (or scissors), segment the connections between the two sides of your brain.  Then repair your skull and scalp.  If you aren't sure of your capabilities here, you should probably cunsult either a liscensed physian or a squirrel before beginning.

Then, with one half of your brain, come up with a fun prank to play on yourself.  Imagine how surprised your other half will be when he finds he has had a bucket of water dumped on him... by himself!

Hail Eris.

BUMP
Title: Re: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: Ben Shapiro on July 31, 2013, 03:12:39 AM
These people are all related to Holist correct?
Title: Re: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: Doktor Howl on July 31, 2013, 03:15:17 AM
Quote from: /b/earman on July 31, 2013, 03:12:39 AM
These people are all related to Holist correct?

No, but they have the same genetics anyway.   :lulz:
Title: Re: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: Left on August 01, 2013, 12:02:17 AM
Dude, I already play pranks on myself.
Usually " Where did I just put that thing?"
...Yeah, you probably do it, I do it worse.

...For instance, how many times have you left your keys in the freezer?
How many phones have you laundered or broke because you forgot they were in your pocket?
Title: Re: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on August 01, 2013, 05:30:23 PM
Quote from: hylierandom, A.D.D. on August 01, 2013, 12:02:17 AM
How many phones have you laundered or broke because you forgot they were in your pocket?

One, and it still worked after.
Title: Re: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: Pæs on August 11, 2013, 12:42:51 AM
Just think about it... Discordianism founded 1958 and pretty much looked like this thread for the next 50 years. Then it got REAL all of a sudden.
Title: Re: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on August 11, 2013, 06:26:47 AM
Quote from: Pæs on August 11, 2013, 12:42:51 AM
Just think about it... Discordianism founded 1958 and pretty much looked like this thread for the next 50 years. Then it got REAL all of a sudden.

It's really the PERFECT RELIGION. From a particular perspective.
Title: Re: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: AFK on August 13, 2013, 01:47:58 PM
I surprised myself this morning and shat bricks.
Title: Re: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: Pere Ubu on October 07, 2013, 12:15:20 AM
Quote from: Chaplin_Sinatra_Fonzarell on April 19, 2005, 07:31:26 AM
Nutmeg's a psychoactive drug similar to weed. Just in case there are one or two people on here who haven't read Naked Lunch.

Do nutmeg to get high and you'll REALLY surprise yourself.

At doses high enough to get a buzz on, Mr. Liver will have a fit and slam the door on his way out, you'll wake up with yellow eyeballs, and you'll be in a whole world of surprise, indeed.

Probably better off smoking banana peels.
Title: Re: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on October 07, 2013, 05:44:25 AM
Quote from: Pere Ubu on October 07, 2013, 12:15:20 AM
Quote from: Chaplin_Sinatra_Fonzarell on April 19, 2005, 07:31:26 AM
Nutmeg's a psychoactive drug similar to weed. Just in case there are one or two people on here who haven't read Naked Lunch.

Do nutmeg to get high and you'll REALLY surprise yourself.

At doses high enough to get a buzz on, Mr. Liver will have a fit and slam the door on his way out, you'll wake up with yellow eyeballs, and you'll be in a whole world of surprise, indeed.

Probably better off smoking banana peels.

So far I'm really liking your posts, Mr. New Guy (or female version thereof).
Title: Re: Operation: Surprise Yourself
Post by: Pere Ubu on October 07, 2013, 08:43:01 PM
Quote from: Not Your Nigel on October 07, 2013, 05:44:25 AMSo far I'm really liking your posts, Mr. New Guy (or female version thereof).

Much thanks!