LISTEN UP YOU LITTLE PUKES
I'm Gary Fucking Gygax,
the Father of RPGs.
(http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/wompcabal/gygaxgenie-1.png)
Today, the
DUNGEON MASTER
is kind.
I hereby grant you one 1st level
Dungeons and Dragons spell
- from any edition
- once per day.
Which one would you take?
1st edition spell list: http://www.mjyoung.net/dungeon/char/step018.html
2nd edition spell list: http://www.wizardmark.com/spellinv/spells.asp (Protip: select level 1, & TSR only, hit search)
3rd edition spell list: http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/lists/spells&tablesort=5 (this one works too (http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/SRD:Sorcerer/Wizard_Spell_List))
4th edition spell list: http://piratepad.net/ep/pad/view/ro.F4ATnyO$apR/rev.28 excuse the shitty cut & paste
(please point out if there are better lists out there)
Bigby's Feeling Fingers. :lmnuendo:
Decisions, decisions.
"Audible Glamer," the ULTIMATE whoopie cushion...
"Disarm" would be entertaining for fencing tournaments, but just once per day?
"Find Familiar" would be cool, but if it's the ONLY spell, evar... No...
"Laeral's Dancing Whip" would certainly get me invited to the wrong sorts of parties...
"Summon Fetish Spirit." I do not think that means what I think it means.
"Feather Fall." There's a winner. Even if I don't NEED it, the practical joke applications are endless.
Blatantly Charm Person.
In anything but the most hack and slash of campaigns, the ability to make people see your every action and word in the most favourable light should be at least a level 5 spell.
The fact that people in D&D settings apparently still trust wizards, for the most part, despite this being one of the easiest spells to cast, is probably a testament to the stupidity of those settings inhabitants (and the writers).
TGRR'S EXPLODING HEAD OF RAGE.
Sure, it kills the caster, but it's gonna look GREAT in the movie!
Charm person. Oh hell.
But then there's also find familiar, which...
No. Charm person.
I'm gonna settle on shocking grasp, just to FUCK ELECTRONICS UP.
And people, of course. Loads and loads of people with my hand print scorched into their faces.
I get what Cain is saying, but I'm out to influence people without making friends.
They'd only be my friend up to the point I convinced them to jump in front of an arrow for me. Which is a reasonable request, as my quest is far more important than they are.
FEATHER FALL
WHEEEEEEE
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on June 01, 2011, 05:32:36 AM
FEATHER FALL
WHEEEEEEE
"I'm gonna do it, man!"
"Please, Mr. Clowns, don't jump!"
"I'm doing it! GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD!"
-jump-
At the bottom...
"LOL J/K"
Quote from: Cain on June 01, 2011, 05:27:46 AM
They'd only be my friend up to the point I convinced them to jump in front of an arrow for me. Which is a reasonable request, as my quest is far more important than they are.
I don't think I'd ever have the Charisma to pull that off. Asking a victim of
charm to do something obviously suicidal usually breaks the spell.
I'll have to flip a coin to choose between
disguise self and
comprehend languages...
"Detect Alignment" allows you to pick Lawful Good dupes. Then you just have to talk about your noble quest and its importance, and wait for someone with the weapons to appear. They'll do the rest.
Stone Fist.
There's nothing quite like having your pimp slap do lethal damage.
Quote from: Jenkem and SPACE/TIME on June 01, 2011, 06:12:50 AM
Stone Fist.
There's nothing quite like having your pimp slap do lethal damage.
You could get the same result and much more versatility with Summon Monster I, assuming Steven Seagal or any of the actors from Troll 2 are summonable.
Quote from: Unqualified on June 01, 2011, 06:16:52 AM
Quote from: Jenkem and SPACE/TIME on June 01, 2011, 06:12:50 AM
Stone Fist.
There's nothing quite like having your pimp slap do lethal damage.
You could get the same result and much more versatility with Summon Monster I, assuming Steven Seagal or any of the actors from Troll 2 are summonable.
Why Summon others to do what I will derive more satisfaction from to do myself?
Magic Missile.
"Taunt"
I dunno what it does, but it seems entirely appropriate.
Audible Glamor would be so much fun. You could create a ringing phone, a fire alarm and clear the building, or totally freak people out by making them think they're hearing voices.
Phantasmal Force would be great for stuff like, "Shit, did you just see Abraham Lincoln jog by the window?"
Unseen Servant because it would be cool to have your house cleaned by invisible people under your control
Quote from: Canis latrans securis on June 01, 2011, 08:00:08 AM
Magic Missile.
This could be fun. Commoners have d4 for hit dice, iirc, so basically you get to beat someone to within an inch of their life at will once per day, at range, and it never misses.
Quote from: Jenkem and SPACE/TIME on June 01, 2011, 05:53:59 AM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on June 01, 2011, 05:32:36 AM
FEATHER FALL
WHEEEEEEE
"I'm gonna do it, man!"
"Please, Mr. Clowns, don't jump!"
"I'm doing it! GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD!"
-jump-
At the bottom...
"LOL J/K"
I'd have to move to a big city so I have skyscraper access!
Quote from: Unqualified on June 01, 2011, 09:27:41 PM
Quote from: Canis latrans securis on June 01, 2011, 08:00:08 AM
Magic Missile.
This could be fun. Commoners have d4 for hit dice, iirc, so basically you get to beat someone to within an inch of their life at will once per day, at range, and it never misses.
As a Magic-User you also have only 1d4hp.
The big downside to Find Familiar is out of all the possible cool animals you could get you'd somehow end up with a toad anyway.
I'm always tempted to take magic missile or color spray or burning hands, but I am definitely not in a situation every day which requires blasting somebody. I could definitely use Charm Person every day.
Comprehend Languages would be pretty cool.
Mend would be really sweet too. You can use mend to repair all sorts of shit - from broken windows to car parts.
Fool's Gold would be absolutely sweet, but I don't think it's a 1st level spell.
Color spray, no question
Quote from: PopeTom on June 01, 2011, 09:43:30 PM
Quote from: Unqualified on June 01, 2011, 09:27:41 PM
Quote from: Canis latrans securis on June 01, 2011, 08:00:08 AM
Magic Missile.
This could be fun. Commoners have d4 for hit dice, iirc, so basically you get to beat someone to within an inch of their life at will once per day, at range, and it never misses.
As a Magic-User you also have only 1d4hp.
Yes, but if you can beat them up at range it affords you a significant advantage.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on June 01, 2011, 09:34:11 PM
Quote from: Jenkem and SPACE/TIME on June 01, 2011, 05:53:59 AM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on June 01, 2011, 05:32:36 AM
FEATHER FALL
WHEEEEEEE
"I'm gonna do it, man!"
"Please, Mr. Clowns, don't jump!"
"I'm doing it! GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD!"
-jump-
At the bottom...
"LOL J/K"
I'd have to move to a big city so I have skyscraper access!
You'd put Chris Angel to shame and out of business.
FUCKING. DO. IT.
God, I hate that annoying fucker...
Quote from: Jenkem and SPACE/TIME on June 01, 2011, 10:16:46 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on June 01, 2011, 09:34:11 PM
Quote from: Jenkem and SPACE/TIME on June 01, 2011, 05:53:59 AM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on June 01, 2011, 05:32:36 AM
FEATHER FALL
WHEEEEEEE
"I'm gonna do it, man!"
"Please, Mr. Clowns, don't jump!"
"I'm doing it! GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD!"
-jump-
At the bottom...
"LOL J/K"
I'd have to move to a big city so I have skyscraper access!
You'd put Chris Angel to shame and out of business.
FUCKING. DO. IT.
God, I hate that annoying fucker...
I'd wait for him to be outside, doing the crap he does in front before his shows...
And jump off the top of the buildings for the cameras, smile at him, state, "top that, motherfucker," and walk away...
In 2nd ed there was Disguise Self, which would be sweet as hell for causing trouble, but it doesn't let you mimic specific existing people.
Nybor's Gentle Reminder (http://www.wizardmark.com/spellinv/view.asp?SpellName=Nybor*s%7CGentle%7CReminder%7C%28Red%7CWizard%29)
Command could be interesting...
Command's effects end when the spell ends though, the psychological effects of Nybor's Gentle Reminder last a lot longer. Eventually allowing me to control a large group of slaves.
Quote from: Regret on June 01, 2011, 10:58:37 PM
Command's effects end when the spell ends though, the psychological effects of Nybor's Gentle Reminder last a lot longer. Eventually allowing me to control a large group of slaves.
I imagine it would lose its effectivity as a tool of control when they figure out you can only do it once per day, though. Still a decent substitute for a taser or pepper spray, though.
Quote from: Unqualified on June 02, 2011, 12:46:20 AM
Quote from: Regret on June 01, 2011, 10:58:37 PM
Command's effects end when the spell ends though, the psychological effects of Nybor's Gentle Reminder last a lot longer. Eventually allowing me to control a large group of slaves.
I imagine it would lose its effectivity as a tool of control when they figure out you can only do it once per day, though. Still a decent substitute for a taser or pepper spray, though.
But NOT using it immediately after an offense would keep its effectiveness up, for at least a little while.
Honestly I think I want a cantrip, Mage Hand. I can see being able to pick up and manipulate stuff from 25 feet away being useful damn near all the time.
Well, hell, if you're gonna be practical, go with "Clean" as a cantrip.
Offed an orc with that one, once... Narrow stairway, he was giving the fighters some trouble... Tossed a rag down with the "Clean" cantrip, told it to give his face a good cleaning.
The DM about laughed his ass off.
I had forgotten about command! It only lasts a round, so I'd want the 2nd edition edition version where rounds are still a minute long. :lol:
In this mundane world without magic, I wonder if people could even recognize that they've been magically compelled. Like if I was all "Command: back massage" (or something), when the command wore off, I wonder if people would continue to massage because they just think that this is what they chose to do.
I'm surprised nobody's said Cure Light Wounds... I would live very dangerously if I could cure the equivalent of a nasty knife wound every day. I would also be fabulously rich.
Oh, if we're including Clerical spells....no, still Charm Person.
Although, Larloch's Minor Drain is actually superior in curative ability, if you don't mind stealing others health.
If it were any curative spell, gimme Cure Disease. I'd be truly, stinking rich.
Quote from: Luna on June 02, 2011, 05:45:13 PM
If it were any curative spell, gimme Cure Disease. I'd be truly, stinking rich.
Not me. I'd cure a bunch of people, and then ask - VERY loudly - "WHAT HAVE YOU PEOPLE BEEN UP TO WHILE I'VE BEEN GONE? I AM
NOT HAPPY."
Nahal's Reckless Dweomer
(or failing that, Scholar's Touch
Quote from: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on November 19, 2014, 07:37:58 AM
Nahal's Reckless Dweomer
(or failing that, Scholar's Touch
I would
love Scholar's Touch.
Quote from: President Television on June 01, 2011, 09:27:41 PM
Quote from: Canis latrans securis on June 01, 2011, 08:00:08 AM
Magic Missile.
This could be fun. Commoners have d4 for hit dice, iirc, so basically you get to beat someone to within an inch of their life at will once per day, at range, and it never misses.
:lulz:
Quote from: President Television on June 01, 2011, 09:27:41 PM
Quote from: Canis latrans securis on June 01, 2011, 08:00:08 AM
Magic Missile.
This could be fun. Commoners have d4 for hit dice, iirc, so basically you get to beat someone to within an inch of their life at will once per day, at range, and it never misses.
Or up to five people, depending on what level the spell is cast at