classical music: more metal than metal

[tyrannosaurus vex]

Y'know, we're all overlooking something important, which is that no matter who the best classical composer is, the only classical performers worth a shit are the goddamned TSO. Because fuck Mozart and anyone else who didn't have Alex Skolnick on guitar.

What is an Alex Skolnick?

Seriously though, I used to think that classical music was lame, but then I realized that it is actually NOT lame. It has all the best features of good metal (complex rhythms and harmonies, innovative melodies, layer upon layer of sonic bliss). It isn't the composers' fault that electric guitars and distortion hadn't been invented yet. They had to make due with trumpets and god damn tubas and shit. No wonder they all looked completely bonkers and they all died by the age of 40. I try to judge musical compositions by how awesome they would sound if they were transcribed into their true electrified metal form. This is also mostly why I hate HATE HATE contemporary "classical music." There's no excuse for writing that way now. We have distortion pedals and BC Rich. Anyone who still writes for cellos* and brass is worth forgetting immediately - and it shows in the atonal shite they come up with.



*Exception made for Apocalyptica, but only barely.

[LMNO]

Y'know, we're all overlooking something important, which is that no matter who the best classical composer is, the only classical performers worth a shit are the goddamned TSO. Because fuck Mozart and anyone else who didn't have Alex Skolnick on guitar.

The Tucson Symphony Orchestra consists of 3 mental defectives playing jugs & washboards, and a meth head using the buttharp.

I'd honestly listen to that.



[requia]
However, he's referring to the Trans-Siberian Orchestra, I believe, which attempts to translate classical music to rock guitar.
[/requia]

[East Coast Hustle]

Y'know, we're all overlooking something important, which is that no matter who the best classical composer is, the only classical performers worth a shit are the goddamned TSO. Because fuck Mozart and anyone else who didn't have Alex Skolnick on guitar.

The Tucson Symphony Orchestra consists of 3 mental defectives playing jugs & washboards, and a meth head using the buttharp.

Sounds like it would probably be an improvement over Mozart.

[East Coast Hustle]

Y'know, we're all overlooking something important, which is that no matter who the best classical composer is, the only classical performers worth a shit are the goddamned TSO. Because fuck Mozart and anyone else who didn't have Alex Skolnick on guitar.

What is an Alex Skolnick?

Seriously though, I used to think that classical music was lame, but then I realized that it is actually NOT lame. It has all the best features of good metal (complex rhythms and harmonies, innovative melodies, layer upon layer of sonic bliss). It isn't the composers' fault that electric guitars and distortion hadn't been invented yet. They had to make due with trumpets and god damn tubas and shit. No wonder they all looked completely bonkers and they all died by the age of 40. I try to judge musical compositions by how awesome they would sound if they were transcribed into their true electrified metal form. This is also mostly why I hate HATE HATE contemporary "classical music." There's no excuse for writing that way now. We have distortion pedals and BC Rich. Anyone who still writes for cellos* and brass is worth forgetting immediately - and it shows in the atonal shite they come up with.



*Exception made for Apocalyptica, but only barely.

Skolnick is one of the handful of guys legitimately in the "best guitarist alive" conversation. Among other things, he plays for Trans Siberian Orchestra on occasion.

[East Coast Hustle]

Also, fuck Apocalyptica.

[tyrannosaurus vex]

Also, fuck Apocalyptica.

I'm not a big enough fan of Apocalyptica to offer much of a defense, but I find their music more palatable than anything else I've ever heard on the radio.
Beethoven would still kick their ass.

Also, TSO is 95% fluffy christmas music and 5% music that was rejected for not being fluffy-christmas enough.

[East Coast Hustle]

Yes, but we're already talking about classical music so it can't be any worse even if christmas is involved. It's all shit, I'd just rather listen to that shit when it's being shoveled into my ears by a peerless guitarist.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Yes, but we're already talking about classical music so it can't be any worse even if christmas is involved.

[LMNO]

Is Karl Orff off limits?  Because Although there is dissonance, much of it is aggressively minor keys, which Metal has in spades.

[tyrannosaurus vex]

Is Karl Orff off limits?  Because Although there is dissonance, much of it is aggressively minor keys, which Metal has in spades.

oh! That music has a name and a composer!? Srsly, yes this is the good stuff.

[LMNO]

Ah!  Then you want more like Carmina Burana.  I thought that might be slightly too modern for your tastes.

[tyrannosaurus vex]

Ah!  Then you want more like Carmina Burana.  I thought that might be slightly too modern for your tastes.

Well, there's no good reason why that guy didn't write that as a proper metal song to begin with, but in this case he can be forgiven.