So, we're going out to meet these hired geeks for dinner. They're "communications specialists", but they can't give decent directions to the most famous restaurant in their home city...A Cajun place called Randall's, on - get this - Kalliste Saloom Blvd. Their directions having proven useless, we punched up the GPS, and promptly disobeyed it, making a left instead of a right.
Now the weird part.
The GPS is showing us on the RIGHT path. None of the streets line up, of course, and the GPS is not giving us that nasty-voiced "RECALCULATING" thing that says you fucked up. So we pull over, and the car image in the GPS keeps going, while hit reset and made angry monkey noises at it. I kept waiting for it to say "I'm sorry, Dave, I can't do that."
Finally, I asked myself "What would Triple Zero do?"
So I turned it off, and then on again. Instantly, all was right. We got the the restaurant, and I enjoyed crawfish etoufee, something delicious I'd never had before, while listening to "communications specialists" prattle loudly over live (bad) faux-cajun music.
Morals:
1. Louisiana is a bad place.
2. Lafayette is a bad place.
3. GPSs are not to be trusted.
4. Never go to a restaurant on a street named in any part "kalliste", and
5. Crawfish etoufee is to fucking die for.
Consultants are people who specialize in making you think you need them, and then showing you why you don't. Especially the ones who talk about communication. They tend to attract free food and coffee, a benefit to the rest of the office ecosystem.
I learned about GPS on the ocean. They are not to be trusted unless you already know where to go based on a chart. Much like the booze, the moment it smells dependency it will screw you.
Damnit, I want cajun food now.
Quote from: Richter, Baron von on August 22, 2012, 03:38:28 AM
Consultants are people who specialize in making you think you need them, and then showing you why you don't. Especially the ones who talk about communication. They tend to attract free food and coffee, a benefit to the rest of the office ecosystem.
I learned about GPS on the ocean. They are not to be trusted unless you already know where to go based on a chart. Much like the booze, the moment it smells dependency it will screw you.
Damnit, I want cajun food now.
I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHO THE GPS WAS ACTUALLY TRACKING!
Am I Nigeling or something?
It's like 2001 meets Minority Report.
In the universe next door, I got there early, beat the geeks silly, and made the hipster Cajun band eat their instruments.
And I went to jail before I could eat my etoufee.
The GPS got the wrong Roger, like in Jingo.
We need to find and occupy the universe where that goes down and they give you a medal for shit like that.
..HIPSTER CAJUN BAND?
Quote from: Richter, Baron von on August 22, 2012, 03:45:26 AM
We need to find and occupy the universe where that goes down and they give you a medal for shit like that.
..HIPSTER CAJUN BAND?
It was awful, Richter. I may never be the same.
I mean, I'm against this sort of thing.
Let's keep in mind the REAL cajun band. The one that got put out a gig because some highwater and hornrim shitshow. They'll be waiting out back to have a bit of a chat.
..and when I am declared Emperor, there is only one man on this continent who will be allowed to keep his ukelele and his hands at the same time.
Quote from: Richter, Baron von on August 22, 2012, 03:52:11 AM
Let's keep in mind the REAL cajun band. The one that got put out a gig because some highwater and hornrim shitshow. They'll be waiting out back to have a bit of a chat.
..and when I am declared Emperor, there is only one man on this continent who will be allowed to keep his ukelele and his hands at the same time.
Alty?
Because you'd BETTER not be talking about those shitheels in that weird velvet lava lamp bar you savages dragged me into.
Also, if you're gonna be emperor, I have dibs on running the adeptus mechanicus after we jam you in a freezer.
I'll accept Alty as number 2, based on your recon.
I banged better tunes out when I was 3 and drunk than most of those trended troglodytes could manage. Because I am a merciful and kind ruler, they will get to choose one orifice where we will NOT stick their instrument. The rest is in the hands of fate, as personified by a d12.
Quote from: Richter, Baron von on August 22, 2012, 04:11:24 AM
I'll accept Alty as number 2, based on your recon.
I banged better tunes out when I was 3 and drunk than most of those trended troglodytes could manage. Because I am a merciful and kind ruler, they will get to choose one orifice where we will NOT stick their instrument. The rest is in the hands of fate, as personified by a d12.
But the human body only has 9 orifices, so...OH MY GOD
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 04:10:16 AM
Also, if you're gonna be emperor, I have dibs on running the adeptus mechanicus after we jam you in a freezer.
Dude, I'll be running state business from the "Golden Throne". You'll have to teach these transhumanist freak the right values. Like the values of power armor, horrible grippers, and floating skull remote spotters.
Quote from: Richter, Baron von on August 22, 2012, 04:13:37 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 04:10:16 AM
Also, if you're gonna be emperor, I have dibs on running the adeptus mechanicus after we jam you in a freezer.
Dude, I'll be running state business from the "Golden Throne". You'll have to teach these transhumanist freak the right values. Like the values of power armor, horrible grippers, and floating skull remote spotters.
Yeah, no more of that hippie "singularity" bullshit.
CLEANSE THE HERETIC! BURN THE MUTANT!
Your innocence proves
nothing.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 04:13:15 AM
Quote from: Richter, Baron von on August 22, 2012, 04:11:24 AM
I'll accept Alty as number 2, based on your recon.
I banged better tunes out when I was 3 and drunk than most of those trended troglodytes could manage. Because I am a merciful and kind ruler, they will get to choose one orifice where we will NOT stick their instrument. The rest is in the hands of fate, as personified by a d12.
But the human body only has 9 orifices, so...OH MY GOD
Sides 10-12 are SPECIAL rolls.
I saw the chart.
When I'm done bleaching my eyes, I may share.
Quote from: Richter, Baron von on August 22, 2012, 03:52:11 AM
Let's keep in mind the REAL cajun band. The one that got put out a gig because some highwater and hornrim shitshow. They'll be waiting out back to have a bit of a chat.
..and when I am declared Emperor, there is only one man on this continent who will be allowed to keep his ukelele and his hands at the same time.
Maybe it's one of those venues that stiffs the bands and the real cajun band
sent the hipsters there.
You're on the right track. On your way to the restaurant. You're going to love the restaur... No. Don't look outside. Look at the GPS. That's your car, there. On the way to dinner. That's you. That's the real you. On your way to the restaurant. You're on the right track.
(http://farm1.static.flickr.com/21/29079082_72aa41d67d.jpg)
Quote from: Signor Paesior on August 22, 2012, 05:31:41 AM
You're on the right track. On your way to the restaurant. You're going to love the restaur... No. Don't look outside. Look at the GPS. That's your car, there. On the way to dinner. That's you. That's the real you. On your way to the restaurant. You're on the right track.
(http://farm1.static.flickr.com/21/29079082_72aa41d67d.jpg)
NEVER GOING TO SLEEP AGAIN
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 03:39:42 AM
Quote from: Richter, Baron von on August 22, 2012, 03:38:28 AM
Consultants are people who specialize in making you think you need them, and then showing you why you don't. Especially the ones who talk about communication. They tend to attract free food and coffee, a benefit to the rest of the office ecosystem.
I learned about GPS on the ocean. They are not to be trusted unless you already know where to go based on a chart. Much like the booze, the moment it smells dependency it will screw you.
Damnit, I want cajun food now.
I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHO THE GPS WAS ACTUALLY TRACKING!
Am I Nigeling or something?
Uh oh...
I think this just proves that Roger is neither a particle nor a wave.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 03:15:44 AM
5. Crawfish etoufee is to fucking die for.
This is so, so true. If you have a few hours, it's not that hard to make.
That is, for someone else to make for you. I remember the stories.
Also:
Quote from: Signor Paesior on August 22, 2012, 05:31:41 AM
You're on the right track. On your way to the restaurant. You're going to love the restaur... No. Don't look outside. Look at the GPS. That's your car, there. On the way to dinner. That's you. That's the real you. On your way to the restaurant. You're on the right track.
(http://farm1.static.flickr.com/21/29079082_72aa41d67d.jpg)
Fucking genius.