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Twelve Days of Nigel

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, December 10, 2012, 09:32:07 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

December 10, 2012, 09:32:07 PM
On the twelfth day of Nigel my true hate gave to me,
Twelve empty sacks of weed,
Eleven cops arresting,
Ten Occupiers stinking,
Nine Bryan Adams CD'S,
Eight noobies howlin,
Seven pinks a shopping,
Six boybands singing,
FIVE GOLDEN SHOWERS,
Four missing teeth,
Three tarot cards of death,
Two pails of turds,
A subpoena and a bucket of pee.

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#1
December 10, 2012, 09:43:19 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 10, 2012, 09:32:07 PM
On the twelfth day of Nigel my true hate gave to me,
Twelve empty sacks of weed,
Eleven cops arresting,
Ten Occupiers stinking,
Nine Bryan Adams CD'S,
Eight noobies howlin,
Seven pinks a shopping,
Six boybands singing,
FIVE GOLDEN SHOWERS,
Four missing teeth,
Three tarot cards of death,
Two pails of turds,
A subpoena and a bucket of pee.


:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:

This is so evocative. It makes me want to record it.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

The Good Reverend Roger

#2
December 10, 2012, 09:45:03 PM
Quote from: hølist on December 10, 2012, 09:43:19 PM
This is so evocative. It makes me want to record it.

I'M FEELING ALL CHRISTMAS-Y.

Also, I'm done with my part of the project, I think.  I'll zap it to you this evening.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#3
December 10, 2012, 09:57:26 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 10, 2012, 09:45:03 PM
Quote from: hølist on December 10, 2012, 09:43:19 PM
This is so evocative. It makes me want to record it.

I'M FEELING ALL CHRISTMAS-Y.

Also, I'm done with my part of the project, I think.  I'll zap it to you this evening.

SQUEEEEEE!!!!
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Pæs

#4
December 10, 2012, 10:04:36 PM
Good King Weltbürger looked out,
On the plains of Belgium,
Twisted bodies all about,
Those intact seen seldom,
Swiftly struck her blade that night,
Mercilessly flensing,
Blood so red and snow so white,
Nigelmas commencing.



Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#5
December 10, 2012, 10:05:25 PM
Quote from: Pæs on December 10, 2012, 10:04:36 PM
Good King Weltbürger looked out,
On the plains of Belgium,
Twisted bodies all about,
Those intact seen seldom,
Swiftly struck her blade that night,
Mercilessly flensing,
Blood so red and snow so white,
Nigelmas commencing.

:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Pæs

#6
December 10, 2012, 10:20:57 PM
We three spags are fleeing in fear,
Shit our pants when Nigel is near,
Cannot run or dig or jump,
Far enough from here.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#7
December 10, 2012, 10:23:57 PM
This really makes me want to record an album. A whole one.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Suu

#8
December 10, 2012, 10:24:35 PM
I'm suddenly filled with the spirit of Nigelmas!
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#9
December 10, 2012, 10:30:12 PM
Bitter and pungent and makes your tongue go numb, like biting into a clove.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Anna Mae Bollocks

#10
December 10, 2012, 10:32:06 PM
Ever been to a charity hospital We used to sing this at Ben's Knob in Houston:

On my fifth day at Ben Taub the good nurse said to me
"We looooost your tessst resulllts
Have a cup of coffee
Please have a seat
There went the doctor
It'll just be a little bit more".
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

EK WAFFLR

#11
December 10, 2012, 10:33:02 PM
Look to the sky, way up on high
There in the night stars are now right.
Eons have passed: now then at last
Prison walls break, Nigel's awake!
She will rise tall: mankind will learn
New kinds of fear when she is here.
She will reclaim all in her name;
Hopes turn to black when she says hi
Ignorant fools, mankind now rules
Where they ruled then: it's hers again

Stars brightly burning, boiling and churning
Bode a returning season of doom

Scary scary scary scary Nigel
Very very very scary Nigel

Up from the Bridge, from Portland town
Down from the sky, She's everywhere
She will return: mankind will learn
New kinds of fear when she is here

Look to the sky, way up on high
There in the night stars are now right.
Eons have passed: now then at last
Prison walls break, Nigel's awake!
Madness will reign, terror and pain
Woes without end where she extends.
Ignorant fools, mankind now rules
Where they ruled then: it's hers again

Stars brightly burning, boiling and churning
Bode a returning season of doom

Scary scary scary scary Nigel
Very very very scary Nigel


Up from the Bridge, from Portland town
Down from the sky, She's everywhere

Fear

(Look to the sky, way up on high
There in the night stars now are right)

Nigel is here.
"At first I lifted weights.  But then I asked myself, 'why not people?'  Now everyone runs for the fjord when they see me."


Horribly Oscillating Assbasket of Deliciousness
[/b]

Anna Mae Bollocks

#12
December 10, 2012, 10:46:50 PM
Born an Empress on Portland's plain
Gold I bring to crown Her again
Empress forever, ceasing never
Over us all to reign

O Nigel of wonder, Nigel of night
Nigel with royal flensing knife bright
Nor'westward leading, still proceeding
Guide us to Thy perfect light

Satya Sai Baba* to offer have I
Incense owns a Deity nigh
Prayer and praising, all men raising
Worship Her, Empress most high

O Nigel of wonder, Nigel of night
Nigel with royal flensing knife bright
Nor'westward leading, still proceeding
Guide us to Thy perfect light

Booze is mine, its bitter perfume
Breathes of life of gathering gloom
Suffering, sighing, bleeding, dying
Sealed in the stone-cold tomb

O Nigel of wonder, Nigel of night
Nigel with royal flensing knife bright
Nor'westward leading, still proceeding
Guide us to Thy perfect light

Glorious now behold Her arise
Queen, Dark Empress and Sacrifice
Alleluia, O SHI-
Earth to heav'n replies

O Nigel of wonder, Nigel of night
Nigel with royal flensing knife bright
Westward leading, still proceeding
Guide us to Thy perfect light

*The Nag Champa in the blue box from the convenience store, it's all I can find here.
Yeah. We're doomed.





Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Don Coyote

#13
December 10, 2012, 11:30:18 PM
Oh Sweet and Sour Christchex, I think I need a album full of Nigelmas music.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#14
December 11, 2012, 12:39:51 AM
So do I. These are amazing!  :lulz:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

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