You are now being embraced by the loving arms of the Pax Durdenica

[hunter s.durden]

Naw.  This is temporary.

Cain, Cain, Cain. As the board's one man CIA you clearly know this isn't true. You can say what you want to comfort the board, but raising their hopes will only serve to more violently shatter their spirits when they realize the truth.

Roger is gone. Hard. And forever.

Some of the more astute members of the board may have noticed that this comes one week after my glorious return. This is no coincidence. In a series of private messages I hit Roger with an assault of brilliance and "logic" that would make Lecter pull a Miggs (both the jack off thing and the suicide).With Roger out of the way I am free to use this board as I see fit. I have subtly hinted at my agenda, but have no worries, in time subtlety will not be needed.

But how? No one is that good, right? Wrong. I have spent the last 3 years honing my mind and body with the singular purpose of eliminating Roger. I knew the man was capable of anything, and that's exactly what I trained for. Illegal hardcore back-alley philosophy debates. Panamanian roulette tournaments under the Chinese restaurant at 0300. Most of you soft-bodies couldn't even survive a Yukon rules Cuddle-Off, I was winning them. I won't reveal all my training techniques, but let's just say James Carville will never have another discussion about 1850's Japan in Morse code without seeing me in his tortured mind.

A new era is here.
The Reverend is dead.
Long live The Beard.

[Eater of Clowns]

It's all that coddling that did Roger in.  He needed a smack in the head or two and we just didn't give it to him; we were too soft.  He'd mess the carpet and tear apart his newest chew toy and we should've done something.  We should've rolled up a newspaper, or put on a choke collar (the kind that he didn't like) but we didn't.

And now look at it.  I don't even know who this guy is.  He smells like he showers, all of his hair is on his face instead of inexplicably everywhere else, he can probably pour a bowl of cereal without causing a wildfire.  I don't know it and I don't like it.  It's unfamiliar and it's wrong and it's our fault.

Freeky, get the MEATHAMMAH.  The TGRR is acting up again.

[hunter s.durden]

It's all that coddling that did Roger in.

What the shit are you talking about? I, hunter s.durden, The Beard, "did Roger in." Only that.
I covered it in the part above when I said that thing I just said.
Fuck.
You won't last long under this new regime.

[Eater of Clowns]

I dunno, after seeing him come back after that time he got torn apart by feral Roombas I'm pretty sure he can come back from anything.

The worst part was when they kept bumping into walls afterward, drunk on the murder glee.   

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

THREAD SUMMARY: It took 3 years for Tyler to regrow his beard.

[hunter s.durden]

THREAD SUMMARY: It took 3 years for Tyler to regrow his beard.

Hush. I'm sensitive about developing late.

And by "Beard" I mean I'm here to use my violent, undiluted masculinity and straitness quash rumors that this board is merely a homosexual meetup for conspiracy theorists.

[tyrannosaurus vex]

THREAD SUMMARY: It took 3 years for Tyler to regrow his beard.

Hush. I'm sensitive about developing late.

And by "Beard" I mean I'm here to use my violent, undiluted masculinity and straitness quash rumors that this board is merely a homosexual meetup for conspiracy theorists.

So... I have spent 6 years flirting with Roger for nothing?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Roger is indeed gone forever, yet he remains...Much like that horrible stain on the carpet when the party got out of hand when Nigel had enough of EoC's shit and did that thing with the bean slicer.

We don't like to talk about that.

Anyway, I shall remain, reborn like a phoenix rising from its own poop.  The Mighty Arizona Cockroach is not so easily disposed of.  You can poison me, shoot me, electricute me, drop a lifted load at me (today, as a matter of fact), but I'm still here.

Neither politics nor religion can stop me, no beardo can even slow me down.  I stomp the terra like a diseased buffalo, and those who get in my way suffocate under the enormous piles I leave in my wake.  I fear nothing but boredom (and Sharps rifles), and would indeed poke Richter when he isn't looking, with or without tools in his hand, on account of

I'M

STILL

HERE.

[hunter s.durden]

I'M

STILL

HERE.

Aww, fuck.

Hey, buddy! Glad to have you back! You know I was only joking right? Just having some fu

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I'M

STILL

HERE.

Aww, fuck.

Hey, buddy! Glad to have you back! You know I was only joking right? Just having some fu

Who's looking SEXAY with his new "leather" hat?

Could it be TGRR?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

 

Also, bean slicer 

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Also, bean slicer 

You can do a lot of damage with small kitchen tools, you know.  Of course you know.

[Eater of Clowns]

Also, bean slicer 

To this day I can't get an erection without one.   

[P3nT4gR4m]

Also, bean slicer 

To this day I can't get an erection without one.   

Try growing your own?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Freedom is a virus.

Isn't self-expression a small price to pay for safety and stability?

Don't be part of the problem.  Be part of the future.

Pax Durdenica.