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Quotes of the Moment II

Started by Triple Zero, June 13, 2011, 12:29:54 AM

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Suu

#990
February 05, 2013, 05:03:27 AM
Me: "Mom, I gotta go to a Christening on Saturday. What's a nice gift? It's a little girl."

Mom: "Okay, crap. Well...whatever you do, don't take communion, and don't get all pissy at the priest when he goes on a pro-life rant during the homily. You know how they are at these sort of things. Give the kid a rosary to hang in the bedroom and don't go crazy on the open bar. If there IS no open bar, drink water. We don't want these people thinking you're actually Catholic."

Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Nephew Twiddleton

#991
February 05, 2013, 05:04:43 AM
 :lulz:
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

Suu

#992
February 05, 2013, 04:25:49 PM
That's my mom...the Irish Protestant.  :lulz:
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Mangrove

#993
February 11, 2013, 02:31:49 AM
[explaining the paperwork I had to fill in for my new part-time gig]

Me: So, they took a copy of my green card and my social security.
Mrs Mang: Why did they want your SS?
Me: To prove I am legal to work here.
Mrs Mang: THEY TOOK OUR JOBZ!!!!!!!!
What makes it so? Making it so is what makes it so.

P3nT4gR4m

#994
February 14, 2013, 07:37:16 PM
Just came up with this on another forum and was quite pleased with it as a one liner

QuoteIf religion is "the opiate of the masses" then democracy is like really low grade speed cut with broken glass and dog worming tablets.

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

Cain

#995
February 14, 2013, 07:46:16 PM
Wait, there is a forum you can discuss politics on and you haven't been banned yet?

P3nT4gR4m

#996
February 14, 2013, 07:47:39 PM
Gimme time. The night's still young  :evil:

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

Cain

#997
February 14, 2013, 07:48:56 PM
If you want help, well, after 22:00 tonight I won't be doing anything except playing medic to noobs who can't shoot straight.

Fucking noobs.

P3nT4gR4m

#998
February 14, 2013, 07:50:18 PM
Nah, mate. I like this forum. Was just a wisecrack. STAND DOWN SOLDIER!! :lulz:

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

Cain

#999
February 14, 2013, 07:55:00 PM
 :sad:

insideout

#1000
February 14, 2013, 08:15:14 PM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on January 23, 2013, 03:05:54 AM

Burning coal for energy is barely more efficient than lighting your face on fire to poach an egg in your mouth.



Read more: http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-8-greatest-wars-ever-fought-by-fox-news/#ixzz2IlReXMGt
my employer's firewall blocks cracked.com under the category "tasteless".

In what way does it help me be more productive to be banned from looking at tasteless shit?

Nephew Twiddleton

#1001
February 15, 2013, 05:43:12 AM Last Edit: February 15, 2013, 05:46:14 AM by Queef Erisson
From Facebook:

Pretty cool high school acquaintance: ‎"Love fades away but things are forever." - Tom Haverford

Twid: Unless you consider time to be a sequence of points along the spacetime continuum. Then love is a permanent, but bounded line segment, much as a city or a planet is finite in 4 dimensions. This is not to be crass and pedantic in one go, but to legitimately respond to the quote. Well, visually, probably more like two silly straws that intersect at multiple points. <--there's the crass and pedantic  :)
   
Twid: Hopefully that was worth a chuckle, at least.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

Nephew Twiddleton

#1002
February 20, 2013, 11:36:15 PM
Me and the cousin, via text:

Purple Fraggle: Sorry I didn't make it today. Seeing people yesterday was a lot and I have been up since 3 in the morning.
Twid: Its cool. It wasnt an easy day. i kinda feel like being alone and behind a computer anyway. Well carch up again soon now that i know where your watering hole is
Twid: Also daniel came last night hes the gay vocalist. He wanted to find out whole richie was and grope him until he saw who it was. Tho he did say mike h (Twid note- Richie's son) is hot lol.
Purple Fraggle: Wine snorts hurt
Twid: QUOTE OF THE NIGHT!
Purple Fraggle: It was very cold chardonnay, too.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

purplefraggle

#1003
February 21, 2013, 12:49:11 AM Last Edit: February 21, 2013, 12:59:10 AM by purplefraggle
The more I think about it, it was more of a chardonanny slushie. I put the big bottle my friend left for me in the freezer.

Nephew Twiddleton

#1004
February 21, 2013, 01:12:33 AM
Quote from: purplefraggle on February 21, 2013, 12:49:11 AM
The more I think about it, it was more of a chardonanny slushie. I put the big bottle my friend left for me in the freezer.

:)
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS
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