All Right, Assholes, it's PENANCE TIME.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

You know what a co-worker told me yesterday?

"You lost your spunk! You used to have spunk! Now you're just dead weight!!"

I looked up, taking my nose away from the grindstone, to figure out what she was talking about. Turns out she thinks if I'm not spewing obscenities and threatening to share happy stories from my childhood and whatever other dumb shit I used to do, then I'm not 'spunky'. If I'm actually keeping my mouth shut and doing my job, then I'm dead weight.

I think I like the way she thinks. But there you go. There's my sin. I'm not spunky anymore. I'm dead weight.

Spunk in her face.

"FUCK OFF, I'M DOING MY GODDAMN JOB."

"Spunk" is skeet, isn't it? 

[The Good Reverend Roger]

You know what a co-worker told me yesterday?

"You lost your spunk! You used to have spunk! Now you're just dead weight!!"

I looked up, taking my nose away from the grindstone, to figure out what she was talking about. Turns out she thinks if I'm not spewing obscenities and threatening to share happy stories from my childhood and whatever other dumb shit I used to do, then I'm not 'spunky'. If I'm actually keeping my mouth shut and doing my job, then I'm dead weight.

I think I like the way she thinks. But there you go. There's my sin. I'm not spunky anymore. I'm dead weight.

Spunk in her face.

"FUCK OFF, I'M DOING MY GODDAMN JOB."

"Spunk" is skeet, isn't it? 

Can be.  In this case, it should be.

[hunter s.durden]

I said Merry Christmas.

To WHOM?

To some random guy at a grocery store whom said it to me.
I knee jerked.
I know it's just what people do, but... still...
so much dirty memory.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I said Merry Christmas.

To WHOM?

To some random guy at a grocery store whom said it to me.
I knee jerked.
I know it's just what people do, but... still...
so much dirty memory.

Your penance is to BE merry.  Too merry.  So merry people move to the other side of the bus.  Until Christmas.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

You know what a co-worker told me yesterday?

"You lost your spunk! You used to have spunk! Now you're just dead weight!!"

I looked up, taking my nose away from the grindstone, to figure out what she was talking about. Turns out she thinks if I'm not spewing obscenities and threatening to share happy stories from my childhood and whatever other dumb shit I used to do, then I'm not 'spunky'. If I'm actually keeping my mouth shut and doing my job, then I'm dead weight.

I think I like the way she thinks. But there you go. There's my sin. I'm not spunky anymore. I'm dead weight.

Spunk in her face.

"FUCK OFF, I'M DOING MY GODDAMN JOB."

"Spunk" is skeet, isn't it? 

Can be.  In this case, it should be.

[Remington]

Haven't posted on PD since July, and only a few posts then.

Penance me up!

You will smile and be nice to the dumbest person - and I don't mean intellectually challenged, I mean the biggest DUMBASS - you run into each day, for a day for every week in which you have neglected The One True Church.

YOU HEAR ME, IRON CURTAIN BOI?

I ACCEPT YOUR PENANCE, HOLY MAN!

IT SHALL BE DONE!

Please to report the funnier results.

Let's see:

1. Put on a concerned and sympathetic face (voice) over the phone with a legal assistant who had just accidentally sent a very confidential legal email to mike123@yahoo.ca instead of mike123@[lawfirm].ca. She wanted me to recall the email, but it had long since been sent. Only way to get it back would be to compromise the servers of the recipient domain and remove it from the recipient's mailbox before it was read, and our management frowns on that sort of thing.

2. Successfully hid my unadultered glee when the office manager at the Client From Hell hinted that they were probably going to be changing IT contractors. To put it in perspective, if/when they actually do leave us as a client, the senior techs and I will be going out to the pub or possibly a strip joint to celebrate.

Their office is what you get when you buy x3 more servers than you need, twice as many printers as employees, then hire a crackhead to administer it for four years. Any work we do for them now is basically palliative care.

3. Smiled and nodded at my boss when told "We have to keep on top of this!" in relation to a weird and intermittent performance issue I had been working away on steadily for the last three months. Well, I had been sitting on my ass drawing crayon pictures up until now, but since you've asked...

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Haven't posted on PD since July, and only a few posts then.

Penance me up!

You will smile and be nice to the dumbest person - and I don't mean intellectually challenged, I mean the biggest DUMBASS - you run into each day, for a day for every week in which you have neglected The One True Church.

YOU HEAR ME, IRON CURTAIN BOI?

I ACCEPT YOUR PENANCE, HOLY MAN!

IT SHALL BE DONE!

Please to report the funnier results.

Let's see:

1. Put on a concerned and sympathetic face (voice) over the phone with a legal assistant who had just accidentally sent a very confidential legal email to mike123@yahoo.ca instead of mike123@[lawfirm].ca. She wanted me to recall the email, but it had long since been sent. Only way to get it back would be to compromise the servers of the recipient domain and remove it from the recipient's mailbox before it was read, and our management frowns on that sort of thing.

2. Successfully hid my unadultered glee when the office manager at the Client From Hell hinted that they were probably going to be changing IT contractors. To put it in perspective, if/when they actually do leave us as a client, the senior techs and I will be going out to the pub or possibly a strip joint to celebrate.

Their office is what you get when you buy x3 more servers than you need, twice as many printers as employees, then hire a crackhead to administer it for four years. Any work we do for them now is basically palliative care.

3. Smiled and nodded at my boss when told "We have to keep on top of this!" in relation to a weird and intermittent performance issue I had been working away on steadily for the last three months. Well, I had been sitting on my ass drawing crayon pictures up until now, but since you've asked...

Oh, this is GOOD.  NICE THEM TO DEATH!

[EK WAFFLR]

Bless me TGRR for I have sinned.

1. I am going to a friend to create new and exiting tiki drinks instead of working.
2. I am spamming EVERYONE with stuff they probably don't give a single molecule of shit about (I:e, the new album)

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Bless me TGRR for I have sinned.

1. I am going to a friend to create new and exiting tiki drinks instead of working.
2. I am spamming EVERYONE with stuff they probably don't give a single molecule of shit about (I:e, the new album)

I am not your agony aunt.  I need an ACTUAL SIN to grant penance for.  Both of those things you mentioned are just virtues in funny dresses.

However, since you mangled HRH's language in #1, you will wear collared shirts for the next 7 days.

[EK WAFFLR]

Bless me TGRR for I have sinned.

1. I am going to a friend to create new and exiting tiki drinks instead of working.
2. I am spamming EVERYONE with stuff they probably don't give a single molecule of shit about (I:e, the new album)

I am not your agony aunt.  I need an ACTUAL SIN to grant penance for.  Both of those things you mentioned are just virtues in funny dresses.

However, since you mangled HRH's language in #1, you will wear collared shirts for the next 7 days.

I do every day. THIS IS NOT PENANCE, SIR!

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Bless me TGRR for I have sinned.

1. I am going to a friend to create new and exiting tiki drinks instead of working.
2. I am spamming EVERYONE with stuff they probably don't give a single molecule of shit about (I:e, the new album)

I am not your agony aunt.  I need an ACTUAL SIN to grant penance for.  Both of those things you mentioned are just virtues in funny dresses.

However, since you mangled HRH's language in #1, you will wear collared shirts for the next 7 days.

I do every day. THIS IS NOT PENANCE, SIR!

Ye Gods...It's even worse than I thought.  I'll get back to you after the morning meeting.

[EK WAFFLR]

i also habitually wear ties, bow-ties and cravats.

[hunter s.durden]

I said Merry Christmas.

To WHOM?

To some random guy at a grocery store whom said it to me.
I knee jerked.
I know it's just what people do, but... still...
so much dirty memory.

Your penance is to BE merry.  Too merry.  So merry people move to the other side of the bus.  Until Christmas.

Aye, sir. Smile engaged.
The ICC may want a word with you.