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UNLIMITED Alabama Slapstick Thread

Started by navkat, March 18, 2013, 06:05:42 PM

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navkat

March 18, 2013, 06:05:42 PM
Because we feel the need to compete with Roger, here.

http://www2.wkrg.com/news/2013/mar/13/no-general-election-al-senate-seat-ar-5790860/

QuoteMOBILE, Alabama --

Bill Hightower won't have to vote for himself again this year and neither will anyone else.  A general election was supposed to happen in a couple of weeks but the secretary of state says a winner can now be certified due to a rarely used constitutional amendment.



"It only applies to legislative positions, no other positions that are elected," says probate judge Don Davis.  That puts Hightower in Montgomery with most of the legislative session over--but on the bright side--



"It saves money if we go through all these elections, these special elections we're spending more and more of the people's money and I'm eager to get to Montgomery," says Bill Hightower.



The county won't have to spend $76,000 for another election.  I went to the secretary of state's website to look at the campaign spending numbers for Hightower and opponent State Rep Jim Barton.  Barton bought a lot of airtime and spent more than half a million dollars on the campaign compared to Hightower's $118,000.  Jim Barton outspent Bill Hightower by more than four times and still lost.

BECAUSE LIBERTY IS ALL ABOUT FISCAL RESPONSIBILITY.  Ain't that swell of 'em? Didn't they do right by us? They even saved us the trouble of having to pat them on the back and did it themselves. MAYBE THEY DESERVE A RAISE.

Note: both "candidates" spent the entire year announcing each was "more conservative" than the other. No third OR second party, just a whole lotta knuckleheads arguing with each other about whose horse at the OTB races could "out-conservative" the other...because, you know, neocons are all about LIBERTY. Now do you want ketchup on your steak, Ma'am? Or ketchup? Wouldn't matter anyway--a democrat would offer us catsup.

navkat

#1
March 22, 2013, 10:07:22 PM
Mobile's Rebel Spirit: Because we don't want government intrusion in our LIVES!

http://www.cityofmobile.org/curfew/

QuoteCitywide Daytime Curfew
(Monday – Friday public school session)
   
9 a.m. - 2:30 p.m.

This city is at no loss for ways to generate revenue.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#2
March 22, 2013, 10:25:15 PM
QuoteThe city's new Juvenile Curfew is not a tool to randomly arrest youngsters, but a process that will protect them.

Uhhhhhh

QuoteLike many cities throughout the country, Mobile has seen a surge in juvenile violence.

Wait, this runs exactly counter to all the statistics on violence I've seen over the last few years.

Something smells fishy as fuck.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#3
March 22, 2013, 10:33:28 PM
Oh yeah, Alabama. I knew it rang a bell:

http://www.splcenter.org/what-we-do/children-at-risk/alabama
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

tyrannosaurus vex

#4
March 22, 2013, 10:34:41 PM
Have you ever noticed that people who use the word "tremendous" are usually assholes?
Evil and Unfeeling Arse-Flenser From The City of the Damned.

The Good Reverend Roger

#5
March 22, 2013, 10:52:40 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on March 22, 2013, 10:25:15 PM
QuoteThe city's new Juvenile Curfew is not a tool to randomly arrest youngsters, but a process that will protect them.

Uhhhhhh

QuoteLike many cities throughout the country, Mobile has seen a surge in juvenile violence.

Wait, this runs exactly counter to all the statistics on violence I've seen over the last few years.

Something smells fishy as fuck.

It's one of those Rogerisms, you know, one of those truisms that "everybody knows".  You hear it, and you nod sadly.

As far as I can tell - and I'm NOT stating this as fact, just an observation - this may very well be the most civilized generation of kids in history.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#6
March 22, 2013, 10:53:15 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on March 22, 2013, 10:25:15 PM
QuoteThe city's new Juvenile Curfew is not a tool to randomly arrest youngsters, but a process that will protect them.

Uhhhhhh

GO STAND BY THE STAIRS.

THE HUMANS MUST BE PROTECTED.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

tyrannosaurus vex

#7
March 22, 2013, 10:54:57 PM
CHILDREN ARE LIABLE TO CATCH THE SUN-STROKE IF YOU LET THEM OUT DURING THOSE HOURS.
Quick, somebody page RWHN!
Evil and Unfeeling Arse-Flenser From The City of the Damned.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#8
March 22, 2013, 11:01:14 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 22, 2013, 10:53:15 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on March 22, 2013, 10:25:15 PM
QuoteThe city's new Juvenile Curfew is not a tool to randomly arrest youngsters, but a process that will protect them.

Uhhhhhh

GO STAND BY THE STAIRS.

THE HUMANS MUST BE PROTECTED.

:horrormirth:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#9
March 22, 2013, 11:03:45 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 22, 2013, 10:52:40 PM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on March 22, 2013, 10:25:15 PM
QuoteThe city's new Juvenile Curfew is not a tool to randomly arrest youngsters, but a process that will protect them.

Uhhhhhh

QuoteLike many cities throughout the country, Mobile has seen a surge in juvenile violence.

Wait, this runs exactly counter to all the statistics on violence I've seen over the last few years.

Something smells fishy as fuck.

It's one of those Rogerisms, you know, one of those truisms that "everybody knows".  You hear it, and you nod sadly.

As far as I can tell - and I'm NOT stating this as fact, just an observation - this may very well be the most civilized generation of kids in history.

I agree. Kids these days are WAY nicer and more civilized than kids were when I was one. We were some maladjusted jerks, back in the day.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

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