THE PROPITIATION OF ST GULIK

[1Yacatismic1]

THE PROPITIATION OF ST GULIK
Upon Commencement Of A Journey
being a lesser rite reclaimed by the FRUtestant Sect of the Holy Eristocratic Church of The Road Cone Holy

The driver* intones the blessing* of St. Gulik:

O blessed St Gulik, Guru of the Ganja, beloved of hitchhikers, protector of dumpster divers, and others of much ilk, ride shotgun with me. May the highway patrol be distracted by shiny objects. May the axe murderers give me a smile and a nod and let me go on my way. May the sun shine on my road, except when it rains. May the beers be cold and my fellow travelers beautiful. May the weed stay lit and most powerful. May the rental car* be blessed and brought into your fold. And if you don't listen to prayer, then to hell with you.

The driver takes a sip of coffee*, and intones the mystical phrase, "gooble gobba." The cup is passed around the passengers, who repeat the driver's actions and words.

The driver next takes a nibble of a snack*, intones "gooble gobba", and likewise passes the snack around.

The driver finally takes a hit from a joint, intones "gooble gobba", and passes the joint around, until nothing but a roach is left.

When all have partaken, the driver breaks off a piece of the snack and places it underneath a tire in such a manner that it will be run over when the car begins to roll. This is followed by a splash of coffee, also beneath the tire, and the remaining "roach" joint and the driver completes the incantation:

Gobble gobba
Gobble gobba
We accept you
We accept you
Gobble gobba
Gobble gobba
One of us

The driver finishes the coffee and snack, sharing with the passengers as desired. Then the driver says "Let's go."*
______
______

driver: or his designee, although the National League of Dynamic Discord refuses to accept the designated driver rule.

intones the blessing: Back in the day, it was traditional to give the entire blessing. In modern times, however, the practice has arisen of posting the blessing to the internets and incorporating it by reference; e.g., "O blessed St. Gulik, etc."

may this rental car: In cases where the vehicle is not a rental, or in fact not a car, the driver may substitute "may this vehicle".

coffee: or tea, or energy drink, or fizzy sugar-water.

snack: Cookies and chocolate are most traditional, but let's face it: Gulik is a cockroach. He'll eat anything. The Venerable Red Vines of Kallisticon have been used to great effect, but they are few and hard to come by.

Let's go: or something equally clever.
______
______

NOTE: Among the other blessings for a traveler are: sharing food or other needful items with fellow travelers; choosing the nicer route over the faster one; and picking up hitchhikers. One should hold close the words of Beatus Ffungo, who said, "Traffic is people."

[LMNO]

So, you're advocating driving while stoned?


Fantastic.

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

So, you're advocating driving while stoned?


Fantastic.

Why not?

[LMNO]

Pretty much the same reason I'm not a big fan of driving while drunk.

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

Pretty much the same reason I'm not a big fan of driving while drunk.

Well, I can understand that... though, in my experience the two chemicals don't act much the same at all. People drive under the influence of drugs all the time, from Caffeine and Nicotine to Tryptophan to Who Knows What sort of pep pills, anti-depressants, painkillers etc. I think THC is much less of a concern than quite a bit of the legal stuff.

Of course, that's not necessarily true if we're talking about one person sucking down three joints of Hydro Kind Bud, however it may be true for a single joint shared among a few people (as the OP mentioned).

[Darth Cupcake]

Pretty much the same reason I'm not a big fan of driving while drunk.

Well, I can understand that... though, in my experience the two chemicals don't act much the same at all. People drive under the influence of drugs all the time, from Caffeine and Nicotine to Tryptophan to Who Knows What sort of pep pills, anti-depressants, painkillers etc. I think THC is much less of a concern than quite a bit of the legal stuff.

Of course, that's not necessarily true if we're talking about one person sucking down three joints of Hydro Kind Bud, however it may be true for a single joint shared among a few people (as the OP mentioned).

Pot has a different degree of impact for everyone, much like alcohol.

Driving while under the influence of alcohol is stupid. As is driving under the influence of pot.

There's probably people out there who can do it. But as someone who has been a passenger in many cars driven by people who insist vehemently that pot is a perfectly safe "driving drug," I can state with a degree of certainty that the impact pot has on a person is much less noticeable to that person than the impact alcohol has. Stoned people tend to be pretty shitty drivers. Really slow and cautious, so it seems less dangerous than alcohol, but still pretty shitty.

It just seems really pointless to do. But what seems REALLY stupid is making this whole ceremony out of it and encouraging it. I mean, most people I've met I wouldn't encourage to drive when completely sober. So adding any chemicals to the mix? Not needed.

[AFK]

Pretty much the same reason I'm not a big fan of driving while drunk.

Well, I can understand that... though, in my experience the two chemicals don't act much the same at all. People drive under the influence of drugs all the time, from Caffeine and Nicotine to Tryptophan to Who Knows What sort of pep pills, anti-depressants, painkillers etc. I think THC is much less of a concern than quite a bit of the legal stuff.

Of course, that's not necessarily true if we're talking about one person sucking down three joints of Hydro Kind Bud, however it may be true for a single joint shared among a few people (as the OP mentioned).

Both can and do reduce reaction time.  Reduced reaction time can cause accidents.  They react same enough in my book to want to keep them out of automobiles. 

[The Littlest Ubermensch]

Pretty much the same reason I'm not a big fan of driving while drunk.

Well, I can understand that... though, in my experience the two chemicals don't act much the same at all. People drive under the influence of drugs all the time, from Caffeine and Nicotine to Tryptophan to Who Knows What sort of pep pills, anti-depressants, painkillers etc. I think THC is much less of a concern than quite a bit of the legal stuff.

Of course, that's not necessarily true if we're talking about one person sucking down three joints of Hydro Kind Bud, however it may be true for a single joint shared among a few people (as the OP mentioned).

Pot has a different degree of impact for everyone, much like alcohol.

Driving while under the influence of alcohol is stupid. As is driving under the influence of pot.

There's probably people out there who can do it. But as someone who has been a passenger in many cars driven by people who insist vehemently that pot is a perfectly safe "driving drug," I can state with a degree of certainty that the impact pot has on a person is much less noticeable to that person than the impact alcohol has. Stoned people tend to be pretty shitty drivers. Really slow and cautious, so it seems less dangerous than alcohol, but still pretty shitty.

It just seems really pointless to do. But what seems REALLY stupid is making this whole ceremony out of it and encouraging it. I mean, most people I've met I wouldn't encourage to drive when completely sober. So adding any chemicals to the mix? Not needed.

D-Cup = riding the correct motorcycle

[LMNO]

Getting fucked up and driving, for me, kind of negates the whole "victimless crime" defense most chemical junkies give.

Fine, get stoned in your house (I know I do), but leave the 2 ton potential wrecking ball in the driveway.

[The Littlest Ubermensch]

Also correct motorcycle.

[Cramulus]

Is it worse to go on a shooting spree while stoned, drunk, or sober?

[Chairman Risus]

Is it worse to go on a shooting spree while stoned, drunk, or sober?

d) Alone

[Darth Cupcake]

Getting fucked up and driving, for me, kind of negates the whole "victimless crime" defense most chemical junkies give.

Fine, get stoned in your house (I know I do), but leave the 2 ton potential wrecking ball in the driveway.

Nicely put.

Alternately, get stoned in your house and then go sing Disney songs on Boston Common.



...Do we have a :halo: emote?

[LMNO]

Is it worse to go on a shooting spree while stoned, drunk, or sober?

Sober.  You might have a chance at an temporary insanity defence if you get fucked up.


-or-


Drunk.  Your aim gets worse.

[Chairman Risus]

Is it worse to go on a shooting spree while stoned, drunk, or sober?

It's all about intent. I don't take shooting sprees to get around town. but if you do, carpool! it saves bullets.