BREAKING: KRISTEN STEWART TO STAR IN ROMANTIC VERSION OF 1984

[Suu]

Holy fuck, I wish this was a joke.

http://celebrity.yahoo.com/news/kristen-stewart-star-romantic-adaptation-quot-1984-quot-004000170-us-weekly.html

[Random Probability]

Can't we get them to star Jennifer Lawrence in the dystopian adaptation of Wuthering Heights, instead?

[Suu]

Can't we get them to star Jennifer Lawrence in the dystopian adaptation of Wuthering Heights, instead?

At least Jennifer Lawrence can, you know, act.

All I can think of us Stewart saying, "Doubleplusungood." With a raised eyebrow through her teeth.

[LMNO]

She was awesome as Joan Jett. Don't be like everyone else and typecast her because of Twilight.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Can't we get them to star Jennifer Lawrence in the dystopian adaptation of Wuthering Heights, instead?

Wuthering Heights is already dystopian, no adaptation needed. 

[Faust]

She was awesome as Joan Jett. Don't be like everyone else and typecast her because of Twilight.

She was a plank in Snow white and the huntsman. That's all I have to go on of her, I'll give the runaways a look but I find your claim bold and hard to believe given what I have seen.

I hope to be pleasantly surprised.

[hooplala]

She was awesome as Joan Jett. Don't be like everyone else and typecast her because of Twilight.

I agree.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

So she gets rats.

I'm okay with this.

[Suu]

She was awesome as Joan Jett. Don't be like everyone else and typecast her because of Twilight.

I agree.

Bellyfeelers.

[Suu]

So she gets rats.

I'm okay with this.

My former boss just told me that she may just be the perfect role for someone's forehead to get stepped on and prove that love does NOT conquer all.

[LMNO]

That's the other thing.  KStew is cast in a dystopian future where everyone is miserable, and you guys think she'd be BAD at that?

Twilight sucked, but reversed stupidity is not intelligence.

[Suu]

You know what, fuck it.

Bring on 1984: The Musical. It will sweep across Broadway starring Hugh Jackman as Winston and Melanie Griffith as Julia.

[LMNO]

You know what? Sign me up.

Fuck your precious notions of how to portray the cruelty of Authority.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

So she gets rats.

I'm okay with this.

I think the guy gets the rats. I don't know what she gets, didn't Orwell leave it unsaid? 

The possibilities are ENDLESS. 

[Suu]

You know what? Sign me up.

Fuck your precious notions of how to portray the cruelty of Authority.

This is the motherfucking 21st Century, it's what we do.