It was following a lack of sleep and a long morning of bacon and driving that Blight and myself walked purposefully into a Connecticut liquor store. Our pace was made by no ordinary determination to buy beer but actually a particular difficulty in moving through humidity so thick it tasted like ice cream flavored with the sins of the nearby casinos. We did this shit for the gleeful demons who demanded malted beverage to slake a thirst primal, perverse, and acute. There was no direction to the type of beer so much as there was a repetitive qualifier: lots.
Blight and I made our way across an adequate selection discussing the intricacies of purchasing a drinkable choice without dropping enough cash to red flag ourselves as deeply pocketed criminals on every agency watch list in the state. The cooler stacked up cases of vile waste and overpriced swill alike but for a small spot on the top shelf catching our eyes as we exited carrying our weight in cardboard, glass, and booze. There were words that I could not comprehend, like a nightmare that feels real but defies description. Budweiser was one. A hated word. And something else.
The grocery team was across the parking lot so we rendezvoused in the blank bland aisles with Richter, Leln, and Torte. I stood there and I thought. They tossed quantities of food in a cart never meant to be so burdened. There was something wrong there that I could not shake. Blight was gone as well, his mind left behind in that cooler. We walked back.
Clamato. That was it. Budweiser and Clamato. With salt and lime. It was one of those comforting moments where we realize no, we are not mad, it is the world that is mad and this thought was mixed with the singular purpose of needing to buy this four pack of pure fucking absurdity. Oh, and another 30 rack because fuck it. The cashier saw us again and asked if we forgot something and I said "Yes, this." He confusedly scanned the can to find that they only rang up one at a time. Nobody ever bought an entire four pack of this. They weren't even prepared for such an eventuality.
Subjecting ourselves to a mixture of piss beer, tomato juice and clam juice was one of those things that was done with such gusto that before I knew it Cram and Richter were outside shaking their cans with vigor and unconcern. The tab clicked the concoction open and we sipped and we did not speak and we passed the can to the next and, unsurprisingly, it came rather quickly back.
It was at this time that another Discordian guest arrived. He was handed the can and drank deeply and he turned and sprayed that amount in a fine mist. Many described it as terrible. This is not untrue, it is terrible. It exists to be terrible. Being terrible is the only fucking thing this could ever be and as such it succeeded so gloriously that it might be one of the most impressive beers I've had the distinct honor of guzzling with a very intense self loathing.
I believe Cram said that he didn't dislike it at first, but with each successive sip he hated it more distinctly. It would explain why all but one can was abandoned entirely. My can. Because it had to be done. And Cram was wrong, here. With each successive sip I did not hate it more distinctly. Rather, with each successive sip I hated myself more distinctly. It is common to know regret following a long bit of excess revelry. It is not common to know it immediately and fully, and continue with that same act by your own free will. And for that, Budweiser & Clamato is a drinking experience like none other.
I am so worried right now that I will one day try this.
Fucking. Mittens. Period.
tl;dl version:
Warning: This shit is VILE.
Whatever sick bastard came up with this idea needs to be taken out to the middle of a dirt road, be knocked on his face, have his tongue pulled out and stapled to the ground, and have the entire population of the Meatup walk across that tongue. In our socks.
Quote from: Jasper on May 31, 2011, 01:28:17 AM
I am so worried right now that I will one day try this.
May you, Jasper. May you try it and enjoy it, not for its taste, but for its audacity.
I'm convinced EoC brought this shit back strictly for revenge. He KNEW what the Weapon X was going to do to him...
Quote from: Luna on May 31, 2011, 02:52:11 AM
I'm convinced EoC brought this shit back strictly for revenge. He KNEW what the Weapon X was going to do to him...
See, I'm considering the idea that what happened the next day is the B&C's fault, as there was no burning and a curious link between me being the only one afflicted and me also being the only to have finished a whole can.
In retrospect, one can would probably have done us just fine for everyone there.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 31, 2011, 02:57:40 AM
Quote from: Luna on May 31, 2011, 02:52:11 AM
I'm convinced EoC brought this shit back strictly for revenge. He KNEW what the Weapon X was going to do to him...
See, I'm considering the idea that what happened the next day is the B&C's fault, as there was no burning and a curious link between me being the only one afflicted and me also being the only to have finished a whole can.
In retrospect, one can would probably have done us just fine for everyone there.
Snapping a picture of the can would have done us just fine for everyone there.
I don't know... it sounds like an improvement over just Budweiser.
Quote from: ☄ · · · N E T · · · ☄ on May 31, 2011, 03:28:50 AM
I don't know... it sounds like an improvement over just Budweiser.
Yeah, I did say I finished it. :)
:vom:
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 31, 2011, 02:36:20 AM
Quote from: Jasper on May 31, 2011, 01:28:17 AM
I am so worried right now that I will one day try this.
May you, Jasper. May you try it and enjoy it, not for its taste, but for its audacity.
THAT'S WHAT I'M AFRAID OF!
I'll start with clamato and bud, and I'll get hooked on it, not for the gustatory experience, not for the alcohol, but for the perverted glee of doing something you're really not supposed to that isn't even fun.
Bud and Clamato is the mung jumping of beverages.
Quote from: Jasper on May 31, 2011, 04:19:22 AM
Bud and Clamato is the mung jumping of beverages.
:vom: :vom: :vom:
That was a beautiful post.
Also, one incarnation of this delicacy is known in Pennsylvania as "red beer". Another, near the US/Mexico border is served with ample hot sauce, lime, and salt, and is known as "Chelada".
In the desert, it grows on you.
Quote from: Your Mom on May 31, 2011, 07:32:44 AM
That was a beautiful post.
Also, one incarnation of this delicacy is known in Pennsylvania as "red beer". Another, near the US/Mexico border is served with ample hot sauce, lime, and salt, and is known as "Chelada".
In the desert, it grows on you.
Y'know, I was thinking that it would have been more pallateable with hot sauce.
Quote from: Cuddleshift on May 31, 2011, 07:38:57 AM
Quote from: Your Mom on May 31, 2011, 07:32:44 AM
That was a beautiful post.
Also, one incarnation of this delicacy is known in Pennsylvania as "red beer". Another, near the US/Mexico border is served with ample hot sauce, lime, and salt, and is known as "Chelada".
In the desert, it grows on you.
Y'know, I was thinking that it would have been more pallateable with hot sauce.
It IS!
I have no regrets not trying it. Best immediate reaction upon tasting was Cram's: "Wow, this can is big!"
I didn't bother to read the review because the thread title was enough for me.
Ugh.
He did leave something out...
The taste of it was bad enough... but the TEXTURE...
I swear, the shit was SLIMY going down.
Quote from: R.W.H.N. on May 31, 2011, 01:48:14 PM
I didn't bother to read the review because the thread title was enough for me.
Ugh.
But you missed out on
the story of it.
It always sounded GROSS to me, but then one day I tried one. Am now hooked and have made many homemade variations of my own.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 31, 2011, 01:07:54 AM
It was following a lack of sleep and a long morning of bacon and driving that Blight and myself walked purposefully into a Connecticut liquor store. Our pace was made by no ordinary determination to buy beer but actually a particular difficulty in moving through humidity so thick it tasted like ice cream flavored with the sins of the nearby casinos. We did this shit for the gleeful demons who demanded malted beverage to slake a thirst primal, perverse, and acute. There was no direction to the type of beer so much as there was a repetitive qualifier: lots.
Blight and I made our way across an adequate selection discussing the intricacies of purchasing a drinkable choice without dropping enough cash to red flag ourselves as deeply pocketed criminals on every agency watch list in the state. The cooler stacked up cases of vile waste and overpriced swill alike but for a small spot on the top shelf catching our eyes as we exited carrying our weight in cardboard, glass, and booze. There were words that I could not comprehend, like a nightmare that feels real but defies description. Budweiser was one. A hated word. And something else.
The grocery team was across the parking lot so we rendezvoused in the blank bland aisles with Richter, Leln, and Torte. I stood there and I thought. They tossed quantities of food in a cart never meant to be so burdened. There was something wrong there that I could not shake. Blight was gone as well, his mind left behind in that cooler. We walked back.
Clamato. That was it. Budweiser and Clamato. With salt and lime. It was one of those comforting moments where we realize no, we are not mad, it is the world that is mad and this thought was mixed with the singular purpose of needing to buy this four pack of pure fucking absurdity. Oh, and another 30 rack because fuck it. The cashier saw us again and asked if we forgot something and I said "Yes, this." He confusedly scanned the can to find that they only rang up one at a time. Nobody ever bought an entire four pack of this. They weren't even prepared for such an eventuality.
Subjecting ourselves to a mixture of piss beer, tomato juice and clam juice was one of those things that was done with such gusto that before I knew it Cram and Richter were outside shaking their cans with vigor and unconcern. The tab clicked the concoction open and we sipped and we did not speak and we passed the can to the next and, unsurprisingly, it came rather quickly back.
It was at this time that another Discordian guest arrived. He was handed the can and drank deeply and he turned and sprayed that amount in a fine mist. Many described it as terrible. This is not untrue, it is terrible. It exists to be terrible. Being terrible is the only fucking thing this could ever be and as such it succeeded so gloriously that it might be one of the most impressive beers I've had the distinct honor of guzzling with a very intense self loathing.
I believe Cram said that he didn't dislike it at first, but with each successive sip he hated it more distinctly. It would explain why all but one can was abandoned entirely. My can. Because it had to be done. And Cram was wrong, here. With each successive sip I did not hate it more distinctly. Rather, with each successive sip I hated myself more distinctly. It is common to know regret following a long bit of excess revelry. It is not common to know it immediately and fully, and continue with that same act by your own free will. And for that, Budweiser & Clamato is a drinking experience like none other.
Sweet. Merciful. FUCK.
:lulz:
a poor man's Michelada. I first tasted one in Mexico and now actually mix these manually quite regularly. They're better than a bloody mary for a "hair of the dog" morning after drink.
Tabasco is absolutely necessary for the flavor though. I can't even imagine drinking one without it.
TABASCO???
WHAT IN THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU???
CHOLULA OR GTFO!
I've had one with cholula and it was damn tasty. I'm just partial to Tabasco really.
I prefer valentina or sriracha.
Quote from: Jasper on May 31, 2011, 07:19:35 PM
I prefer valentina or sriracha.
Sriracha in a chelada? Are you serious?
It is sweet and not sour, so it could work. Never had a chelada before, but I'll try it with sriracha when I do.
Quote from: Jasper on May 31, 2011, 09:14:27 PM
It is sweet and not sour, so it could work. Never had a chelada before, but I'll try it with sriracha when I do.
Noooooooooo! Wrong flavor. :vom: A chelada is sour, salty and spicy.
Oh, ok. Probably go with valentina then. That's my go-to for vinegary hot sauce.
Quote from: Jasper on May 31, 2011, 09:19:38 PM
Oh, ok. Probably go with valentina then. That's my go-to for vinegary hot sauce.
I like Valentina, and it's probably my second-favorite hot sauce for cheladas after Cholula. I also always have a huge thing of Tapatio around.
I enjoyed Bud&clamato. I couldn't drink a whole can mind you, I share one with friends. but it tastes like clams cooked in tomato and beer sauce. cooking is about all Bud is good for after all.
Budweiser is nothing but horse piss....
Drinking it in any form or mix is hazardous to your taste buds.
Quote from: Khara on June 01, 2011, 04:25:10 PM
Budweiser is nothing but horse piss....
Drinking it in any form or mix is hazardous to your taste buds.
Though if you're going to desecrate beer by doing THIS to it, it's a good choice, I suppose. At least it's not the GOOD beer...
Quote from: Luna on June 01, 2011, 04:26:40 PM
Quote from: Khara on June 01, 2011, 04:25:10 PM
Budweiser is nothing but horse piss....
Drinking it in any form or mix is hazardous to your taste buds.
Though if you're going to desecrate beer by doing THIS to it, it's a good choice, I suppose. At least it's not the GOOD beer...
I think it would probably be way better with a good light Mexican beer, or maybe something Carribean like Red Stripe.
It's best with Tecate IMO, but really any cheap lager is fine.
The thing about chelada is that it's fucking AMAZING when it's a hundred degrees out and you're tired and dehydrated. You really have to have it in the right context to fully appreciate it.
YES! You also sometimes just need to be hungthefuckover. :lol: I get these for New Years Day...the morning after my NYE party. They are at first sipped and then chugged as if lifelines.
But they ARE an acquired taste.
We do Dos Equis with V-8 and hot sauce. I can't stand the clamato, you don't always have a good consistency and I've had it too many time that it smelled like rotten seafood mixed with tomato.
For a hangover I do a spicy bloody mary, I can't drink beer hungover.
Quote from: Jenne on June 01, 2011, 04:41:43 PM
YES! You also sometimes just need to be hungthefuckover. :lol: I get these for New Years Day...the morning after my NYE party. They are at first sipped and then chugged as if lifelines.
But they ARE an acquired taste.
:lulz: They are perfect for any situation in which rehydration and some minimum of nutrients are critically necessary.
Quote from: Your Mom on May 31, 2011, 02:48:49 PM
TABASCO???
WHAT IN THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU???
CHOLULA OR GTFO!
When I use Cholula I have to put some Tabasco in too because it's too damn mild.
Quote from: Slyph on June 01, 2011, 06:05:36 PM
Quote from: Your Mom on May 31, 2011, 02:48:49 PM
TABASCO???
WHAT IN THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU???
CHOLULA OR GTFO!
When I use Cholula I have to put some Tabasco in too because it's too damn mild.
Try Valentina. Tobasco is Louisiana style, it has no business in recipes where Mexican hot sauce is called for.
I think Tobasco is like cumin-deficient or some shit. I agree that Cholula, Tapatio and Valentino are da boss here. For the bloody beers, anyway.
You can also add heat by garnishing with sliced hot peppers....
Quote from: Khara on June 01, 2011, 05:01:06 PM
We do Dos Equis with V-8 and hot sauce. I can't stand the clamato, you don't always have a good consistency and I've had it too many time that it smelled like rotten seafood mixed with tomato.
For a hangover I do a spicy bloody mary, I can't drink beer hungover.
The V8 can be too sweet for me. I like the prepackaged Bud version for some reason enough to just buy it that way. But I like to make it as well. For some reason, I stomach beer better than vodka when I'm hungover...is bizarre.
And as for the heat, hell yeah, just add more p00per.
Quote from: Jenne on June 01, 2011, 06:52:44 PM
I think Tobasco is like cumin-deficient or some shit. I agree that Cholula, Tapatio and Valentino are da boss here. For the bloody beers, anyway.
Yeah, it's more vinegary and seasoned differently. It's good on certain things (eggs and hot wings! Nom!) but for Louisiana style hot sauce I prefer Frank's or Trappey's.
I find mild Indian food to be about as spicy as I need my foods to be in life. :oops:
(Needless to say, did not try the Bud & Clamato and stuck with raising my eyebrows judgmentally at those who did.)
Quote from: Eve on June 01, 2011, 07:19:19 PM
I find mild Indian food to be about as spicy as I need my foods to be in life. :oops:
(Needless to say, did not try the Bud & Clamato and stuck with raising my eyebrows judgmentally at those who did.)
bud and clamato is not spicy. It would probably be tastier if it were.
Not just not spicy like some hot sauce is not spicy, not spicy like beer, tomato juice, and clam juice is not spicy.
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on June 01, 2011, 07:41:56 PM
Quote from: Eve on June 01, 2011, 07:19:19 PM
I find mild Indian food to be about as spicy as I need my foods to be in life. :oops:
(Needless to say, did not try the Bud & Clamato and stuck with raising my eyebrows judgmentally at those who did.)
bud and clamato is not spicy. It would probably be tastier if it were.
Not just not spicy like some hot sauce is not spicy, not spicy like beer, tomato juice, and clam juice is not spicy.
It's not spicy.
It's just slimy. :vom:
I suppose I should have said hot instead of spicy. At any rate, upon checking the ingredients list I discovered that the only two I like in B&C are lime and salt. As for slimy, I'm going to echo Luna's :vom:
Aw, is not slimy. :lulz: Sounds like it would be though.
I think this might be a regional thing, though. West-coasters and Southerners seem able to hack it better.
Quote from: Jenne on June 01, 2011, 07:59:51 PM
Aw, is not slimy. :lulz: Sounds like it would be though.
I think this might be a regional thing, though. West-coasters and Southerners seem able to hack it better.
Is.
I tried it.
(Though, for the record, I find tomato juice, in general, slimy.)
I love that this has become an actual drink recipe thread.
You fuckers are awesome. :)
FTR, I found the drink pretty refreshing.
THis thread makes me want to get some tomato juice and lager and Tapatio and do SCIENCE!!!
Quote from: Canis latrans securis on June 01, 2011, 08:12:24 PM
THis thread makes me want to get some tomato juice and lager and Tapatio and do SCIENCE!!!
Do it, and enjoy...
Me, I'mma grab a Mike's Hard Lemonade when I get home, sit in the living room, and watch for tornadoes. (We're under a tornado watch until 8 tonight.)
Quote from: Canis latrans securis on June 01, 2011, 08:12:24 PM
THis thread makes me want to get some tomato juice and lager and Tapatio and do SCIENCE!!!
Do not forget the clam juice, that is an important part.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on June 01, 2011, 08:11:16 PM
FTR, I found the drink pretty refreshing.
You would. I feel your judgment is questionable after the framed holographic Jesus art incident, though.
Quote from: Luna on June 01, 2011, 08:13:25 PM
Me, I'mma grab a Mike's Hard Lemonade when I get home, sit in the living room, and watch for tornadoes. (We're under a tornado watch until 8 tonight.)
Tornado watch?! What the crap.
The clam juice makes it disgusting!!!! :vom:
Also, a side note, sriracha (unless the Thai version) is not a good idea as a sub for hot sauce in these types of drinks.....
Quote from: Khara on June 01, 2011, 08:26:18 PM
The clam juice makes it disgusting!!!! :vomit:
Also, a side note, sriracha (unless the Thai version) is not a good idea as a sub for hot sauce in these types of drinks.....
I only know the Thai version... I was unaware that there were any others!
Quote from: Eve on June 01, 2011, 08:22:56 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on June 01, 2011, 08:11:16 PM
FTR, I found the drink pretty refreshing.
You would. I feel your judgment is questionable after the framed holographic Jesus art incident, though.
Hush you.
The best part about my good decisions is that they're frequently indistinguishable from my bad decisions! :D
Quote from: Canis latrans securis on June 01, 2011, 08:12:24 PM
THis thread makes me want to get some tomato juice and lager and Tapatio and do SCIENCE!!!
LIME! Do NOT forget the lime. Otherwise, all is lost.
Quote from: Luna on June 01, 2011, 08:05:05 PM
Quote from: Jenne on June 01, 2011, 07:59:51 PM
Aw, is not slimy. :lulz: Sounds like it would be though.
I think this might be a regional thing, though. West-coasters and Southerners seem able to hack it better.
Is.
I tried it.
(Though, for the record, I find tomato juice, in general, slimy.)
Well, there you go then.
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on June 01, 2011, 08:22:23 PM
Quote from: Canis latrans securis on June 01, 2011, 08:12:24 PM
THis thread makes me want to get some tomato juice and lager and Tapatio and do SCIENCE!!!
Do not forget the clam juice, that is an important part.
Yeah, skipping the clam is ok in my book. Not the same as the Bud version, but that's ok. Just means it's different.
My latest tactic is to go to bars/Mexican joints and ask for THEIR versions.
After some thought and discussion with 000, I would like to point out that there is undoubtedly an enormous difference between a hand-mixed concoction of decent beer, tomato juice, and various flavorings, be it hot sauce or clam juice.
But remember:
This is Budweiser. And some other sort of liquid produced by Budweiser. Pre-mixed. In a can.
That's ok. I stand by my LOVING of it.
Like Nigel said--nothing beats grabbing a cold one of that fucker and downing it when the thirst needs slaking.
Also, I only ever RESERVE this recipe for the shit-beers. If it's good enough to drink on its own, it don't NEED this kind of treatment.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on June 01, 2011, 08:35:25 PM
After some thought and discussion with 000, I would like to point out that there is undoubtedly an enormous difference between a hand-mixed concoction of decent beer, tomato juice, and various flavorings, be it hot sauce or clam juice.
But remember:
This is Budweiser. And some other sort of liquid produced by Budweiser. Pre-mixed. In a can.
Oh damn, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that, I thought they were mixing their own shit all along.
Precanned bud, tomato juice and clam juice? :vom:
Quote from: Your Mom on June 01, 2011, 08:29:44 PM
Quote from: Khara on June 01, 2011, 08:26:18 PM
The clam juice makes it disgusting!!!! :vomit:
Also, a side note, sriracha (unless the Thai version) is not a good idea as a sub for hot sauce in these types of drinks.....
I only know the Thai version... I was unaware that there were any others!
Actually what is commonly sold in America is not the same thing. It tastes different, no sweetness at all, thinner, it's what they sell in the grocery.
Quote from: Jenne on June 01, 2011, 08:37:03 PM
Also, I only ever RESERVE this recipe for the shit-beers. If it's good enough to drink on its own, it don't NEED this kind of treatment.
I think I've spotted your problem.
If you're buying beer that needs to have this shit done to it in order to make it (in your mind) drinkable...
STOP BUYING SHITTY BEER.
You're just encouraging them to make more shitty beer.
Quote from: Jenne on June 01, 2011, 08:37:03 PM
That's ok. I stand by my LOVING of it.
Like Nigel said--nothing beats grabbing a cold one of that fucker and downing it when the thirst needs slaking.
Also, I only ever RESERVE this recipe for the shit-beers. If it's good enough to drink on its own, it don't NEED this kind of treatment.
It makes NO sense to mix good beer with clam and tomato juice, and the lime, salt and hot sauce would overpower the flavor anyway. You don't want to use a beer with a strong enough flavor to compete. This is a light, refreshing summer drink.
Quote from: Khara on June 01, 2011, 08:38:05 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on June 01, 2011, 08:35:25 PM
After some thought and discussion with 000, I would like to point out that there is undoubtedly an enormous difference between a hand-mixed concoction of decent beer, tomato juice, and various flavorings, be it hot sauce or clam juice.
But remember:
This is Budweiser. And some other sort of liquid produced by Budweiser. Pre-mixed. In a can.
Oh damn, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that, I thought they were mixing their own shit all along.
Precanned bud, tomato juice and clam juice? :vomit:
http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=28425.165 (http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=28425.165)
I'm holding a four pack of it in this thread.
Quote from: Luna on June 01, 2011, 08:38:48 PM
Quote from: Jenne on June 01, 2011, 08:37:03 PM
Also, I only ever RESERVE this recipe for the shit-beers. If it's good enough to drink on its own, it don't NEED this kind of treatment.
I think I've spotted your problem.
If you're buying beer that needs to have this shit done to it in order to make it (in your mind) drinkable...
STOP BUYING SHITTY BEER.
You're just encouraging them to make more shitty beer.
I live in microbrew mecca.
Nonetheless, cheladas are delicious, and should be made with cheap lager.
A Mexican friend of Mr. Language kicks it up a notch by putting vodka in it.
Nigel, I'm not saying to use some sort of triple-bock for it, but more like the suggestions further upthread: Red Stripe, Tecate, maybe even a Victory Pilsner... Just not Bud.
Quote from: Your Mom on June 01, 2011, 08:39:54 PM
Quote from: Jenne on June 01, 2011, 08:37:03 PM
That's ok. I stand by my LOVING of it.
Like Nigel said--nothing beats grabbing a cold one of that fucker and downing it when the thirst needs slaking.
Also, I only ever RESERVE this recipe for the shit-beers. If it's good enough to drink on its own, it don't NEED this kind of treatment.
It makes NO sense to mix good beer with clam and tomato juice, and the lime, salt and hot sauce would overpower the flavor anyway. You don't want to use a beer with a strong enough flavor to compete. This is a light, refreshing summer drink.
Ah, well then I say make summer sippers, good sangria, a dash of tequila, frozen grapefruit, orange and lime slices, a bit of grapefruit juice and a hint of lime juice and a touch of seltzer for a bit of fizz....
Nope. I know a lot of uh crackahs? who drink shit beer and leave it in SPADES at my house.
Guess what my solution is? :D
You guys just don't get it. :lulz:
...and THAT is ok.
I'll add lime and salt MAYBE to a watery Mexican beer, but there's ONE special treatment I like to give American domestic piss water.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on June 01, 2011, 08:43:22 PM
Nigel, I'm not saying to use some sort of triple-bock for it, but more like the suggestions further upthread: Red Stripe, Tecate, maybe even a Victory Pilsner... Just not Bud.
Waste of good beer. Like I said, the other strong flavors completely overwhelm the beer, and you really don't want a beer with a flavor strong enough to compete.
I mostly use Tecate because I like the lightly skunkier undertone, but PBR or Hamms or Budweiser work just as well.
Quote from: Your Mom on June 01, 2011, 08:45:57 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on June 01, 2011, 08:43:22 PM
Nigel, I'm not saying to use some sort of triple-bock for it, but more like the suggestions further upthread: Red Stripe, Tecate, maybe even a Victory Pilsner... Just not Bud.
Waste of good beer. I mostly use Tecate because I like the lightly skunkier undertone, but PBR or Hamms or Budweiser work just as well.
Nigel, I am thinking this is still a regional thing. *shrug*
Quote from: Jenne on June 01, 2011, 08:45:53 PM
Nope. I know a lot of uh crackahs? who drink shit beer and leave it in SPADES at my house.
Guess what my solution is? :D
You guys just don't get it. :lulz:
...and THAT is ok.
I'll add lime and salt MAYBE to a watery Mexican beer, but there's ONE special treatment I like to give American domestic piss water.
I think the only way to get it is to be someone who likes cheladas. :lulz:
Quote from: Jenne on June 01, 2011, 08:46:56 PM
Quote from: Your Mom on June 01, 2011, 08:45:57 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on June 01, 2011, 08:43:22 PM
Nigel, I'm not saying to use some sort of triple-bock for it, but more like the suggestions further upthread: Red Stripe, Tecate, maybe even a Victory Pilsner... Just not Bud.
Waste of good beer. I mostly use Tecate because I like the lightly skunkier undertone, but PBR or Hamms or Budweiser work just as well.
Nigel, I am thinking this is still a regional thing. *shrug*
Yeah, it's funny, it seems to be... but I know they make red beer in a lot of Eastern cities, so you would think... :?
Quote from: Your Mom on June 01, 2011, 08:48:28 PM
Quote from: Jenne on June 01, 2011, 08:45:53 PM
Nope. I know a lot of uh crackahs? who drink shit beer and leave it in SPADES at my house.
Guess what my solution is? :D
You guys just don't get it. :lulz:
...and THAT is ok.
I'll add lime and salt MAYBE to a watery Mexican beer, but there's ONE special treatment I like to give American domestic piss water.
I think the only way to get it is to be someone who likes cheladas. :lulz:
Probably true.
Shitty beer left at my place? Either serve to next batch of guests (likely the same ones who left it there in the first place), or cook with it.
...I've begun to cook with it more. Beer can chicken being one.
I totally get the "ew" factor, btw. TOTALLY. Because that was ME back in the day. I had to sneak the fuck up on it. Plus, it's BUD. But you know what? If it works, it works.
And it inspired me to make my own. :D Win-win. But I so do NOT blame those who think it's totally gross because, once upon a time, so did I!
Quote from: Jenne on June 01, 2011, 08:59:20 PM
...I've begun to cook with it more. Beer can chicken being one.
I totally get the "ew" factor, btw. TOTALLY. Because that was ME back in the day. I had to sneak the fuck up on it. Plus, it's BUD. But you know what? If it works, it works.
And it inspired me to make my own. :D Win-win. But I so do NOT blame those who think it's totally gross because, once upon a time, so did I!
I don't blame people who drink the shit... More power to you, and more Guinness left in the cooler for ME. :lulz:
I totally don't blame anyone for thinking it's gross. It sounds awful. :D
But people who don't like cheladas telling people who do how they "should" make them is like a lifelong vegan instructing ECH on BBQ pork.
Quote from: Your Mom on June 01, 2011, 09:01:35 PM
I totally don't blame anyone for thinking it's gross. It sounds awful. :D
But people who don't like cheladas telling people who do how they "should" make them is like a lifelong vegan instructing ECH on BBQ pork.
I'm sorry if you took my comments as me talling you how to make this drink. I was only sharing how
I make the drink, not telling you what to do.
Quote from: Khara on June 01, 2011, 09:05:52 PM
Quote from: Your Mom on June 01, 2011, 09:01:35 PM
I totally don't blame anyone for thinking it's gross. It sounds awful. :D
But people who don't like cheladas telling people who do how they "should" make them is like a lifelong vegan instructing ECH on BBQ pork.
I'm sorry if you took my comments as me talling you how to make this drink. I was only sharing how I make the drink, not telling you what to do.
I didn't... you wouldn't be a person who doesn't like cheladas, you were just sharing your recipe.
(I'm referring more to the "EWWWW THAT SOUNDS GROSS! YOU SHOULD USE BETTER BEER!" contingent. Which has been quite a few people including LMNO and Luna, who just don't know.)
Quote from: Your Mom on June 01, 2011, 09:10:19 PM
(I'm referring more to the "EWWWW THAT SOUNDS GROSS! YOU SHOULD USE BETTER BEER!" contingent. Which has been quite a few people including LMNO and Luna, who just don't know.)
Oh, no, no! I'm not saying a damn thing about making them. Wouldn't presume to comment on any of the drinks mentioned in this thread, other than the canned Bud version, since that's the only one I've tried.
I'm saying I'd rather buy beer that doesn't have to have that shit put in it, and drink it straight.
...welp, suffice it to say, if you think tomato juice and anything is gross, you won't like cheladas at all. Ever. Pretty much. I have a sis-in-law who's like that. She'll take the lime-n-salt version, but nix the tomato/clamato for her. Is fine.
Diff'rent strokes, man.
NEW ADVENTURE I'd like to try for science:
A YOGURT-y VERSION.
Because, here's the thing--minty-salty-yogurt (plain yogurt, mind you) drinks are all the rage in the Middle East. They have two different names, depending on where you get them: Lassi and Dough (sounds like "d'oh" but with a clearing of the throat afterward). Indians make the lassis (usually with mango, but you can get the minty/salty plain kind too if you ask), Persians make the doughs.
So my challenge now is to figure out what would make a good liquor or whatever to add to make 'em hoocherific. For science.
Quote from: Luna on June 01, 2011, 09:11:54 PM
Quote from: Your Mom on June 01, 2011, 09:10:19 PM
(I'm referring more to the "EWWWW THAT SOUNDS GROSS! YOU SHOULD USE BETTER BEER!" contingent. Which has been quite a few people including LMNO and Luna, who just don't know.)
Oh, no, no! I'm not saying a damn thing about making them. Wouldn't presume to comment on any of the drinks mentioned in this thread, other than the canned Bud version, since that's the only one I've tried.
I'm saying I'd rather buy beer that doesn't have to have that shit put in it, and drink it straight.
You don't like cheladas. That's fine. Lots of people don't.
Mango lassi is easy: add rum.
Salty lassi or minty/salty dough--hm...vodka? Light beer?
Fuck. Not easy.
Quote from: Jenne on June 01, 2011, 09:30:13 PM
Mango lassi is easy: add rum.
Salty lassi or minty/salty dough--hm...vodka? Light beer?
Fuck. Not easy.
Bourbon?
Quote from: Jenne on June 01, 2011, 09:30:13 PM
Mango lassi is easy: add rum.
Salty lassi or minty/salty dough--hm...vodka? Light beer?
Fuck. Not easy.
The minty... I'd add a shot of peppermint schnapps and ease back on the actual mint a bit.
Schnapps is sweet as fuck, though.
Quote from: Your Mom on June 01, 2011, 09:55:10 PM
Schnapps is sweet as fuck, though.
True... but I tend to like the sweet stuff. I'd give it a try, anyhow.
Quote from: Luna on June 01, 2011, 09:58:04 PM
Quote from: Your Mom on June 01, 2011, 09:55:10 PM
Schnapps is sweet as fuck, though.
True... but I tend to like the sweet stuff. I'd give it a try, anyhow.
I think it would be good with yogurt, but not in a salty drink... sweet/salty/minty sounds :vom:
Oooh, Jenne, what about yogurt, cucumber, salt, mint or cilantro, jalapeno, and vodka blended with just a bit of ice?
Quote from: Your Mom on June 01, 2011, 10:03:16 PM
Quote from: Luna on June 01, 2011, 09:58:04 PM
Quote from: Your Mom on June 01, 2011, 09:55:10 PM
Schnapps is sweet as fuck, though.
True... but I tend to like the sweet stuff. I'd give it a try, anyhow.
I think it would be good with yogurt, but not in a salty drink... sweet/salty/minty sounds :vom:
Oooh, not in the salty one, in the minty one. Yes, that'd be :vom:. The mint lassi I've had wasn't salty at all.
I think it's both minty AND salty.
Quote from: Your Mom on June 01, 2011, 10:13:36 PM
I think it's both minty AND salty.
Could be, I didn't notice salt in mine... Very possible it's done multiple ways.
Quote from: Luna on June 01, 2011, 10:18:39 PM
Quote from: Your Mom on June 01, 2011, 10:13:36 PM
I think it's both minty AND salty.
Could be, I didn't notice salt in mine... Very possible it's done multiple ways.
Maybe we're talking about two different drinks? As far as I know dough/doogh is always salty. But Jenne would know, for sure...
ETA could you be thinking of mint lassi?
Quote from: Your Mom on June 01, 2011, 10:21:57 PM
Quote from: Luna on June 01, 2011, 10:18:39 PM
Quote from: Your Mom on June 01, 2011, 10:13:36 PM
I think it's both minty AND salty.
Could be, I didn't notice salt in mine... Very possible it's done multiple ways.
Maybe we're talking about two different drinks? As far as I know dough is always salty. But Jenne would know, for sure...
Yep, I'm talking about a mint lassi, not a dough (spelling optional, here, I'm stupid tired today, posting here from work to keep myself from dozing off on my desk between bouts of stupid busy).
I say tequila for the salty drink, it will add a touch of peppery the mix.....
Then again, I really like tequila.
Mmmm tequila!
Especially with cilantro instead of mint...
Hm...I'm thinking yogurt drink bar. :lulz: People will think I'm nuts.
...they're right.
But thanks, you guys...will try ALL Those eventually and post results...
Quote from: Jenne on June 01, 2011, 11:59:40 PM
Hm...I'm thinking yogurt drink bar. :lulz: People will think I'm nuts.
...they're right.
But thanks, you guys...will try ALL Those eventually and post results...
If I do get a bar job I'm seriously going to try to introduce a drink special based on your idea, though.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 31, 2011, 01:07:54 AM
It was following a lack of sleep and a long morning of bacon and driving that Blight and myself walked purposefully into a Connecticut liquor store. Our pace was made by no ordinary determination to buy beer but actually a particular difficulty in moving through humidity so thick it tasted like ice cream flavored with the sins of the nearby casinos. We did this shit for the gleeful demons who demanded malted beverage to slake a thirst primal, perverse, and acute. There was no direction to the type of beer so much as there was a repetitive qualifier: lots.
Blight and I made our way across an adequate selection discussing the intricacies of purchasing a drinkable choice without dropping enough cash to red flag ourselves as deeply pocketed criminals on every agency watch list in the state. The cooler stacked up cases of vile waste and overpriced swill alike but for a small spot on the top shelf catching our eyes as we exited carrying our weight in cardboard, glass, and booze. There were words that I could not comprehend, like a nightmare that feels real but defies description. Budweiser was one. A hated word. And something else.
The grocery team was across the parking lot so we rendezvoused in the blank bland aisles with Richter, Leln, and Torte. I stood there and I thought. They tossed quantities of food in a cart never meant to be so burdened. There was something wrong there that I could not shake. Blight was gone as well, his mind left behind in that cooler. We walked back.
Clamato. That was it. Budweiser and Clamato. With salt and lime. It was one of those comforting moments where we realize no, we are not mad, it is the world that is mad and this thought was mixed with the singular purpose of needing to buy this four pack of pure fucking absurdity. Oh, and another 30 rack because fuck it. The cashier saw us again and asked if we forgot something and I said "Yes, this." He confusedly scanned the can to find that they only rang up one at a time. Nobody ever bought an entire four pack of this. They weren't even prepared for such an eventuality.
Subjecting ourselves to a mixture of piss beer, tomato juice and clam juice was one of those things that was done with such gusto that before I knew it Cram and Richter were outside shaking their cans with vigor and unconcern. The tab clicked the concoction open and we sipped and we did not speak and we passed the can to the next and, unsurprisingly, it came rather quickly back.
It was at this time that another Discordian guest arrived. He was handed the can and drank deeply and he turned and sprayed that amount in a fine mist. Many described it as terrible. This is not untrue, it is terrible. It exists to be terrible. Being terrible is the only fucking thing this could ever be and as such it succeeded so gloriously that it might be one of the most impressive beers I've had the distinct honor of guzzling with a very intense self loathing.
I believe Cram said that he didn't dislike it at first, but with each successive sip he hated it more distinctly. It would explain why all but one can was abandoned entirely. My can. Because it had to be done. And Cram was wrong, here. With each successive sip I did not hate it more distinctly. Rather, with each successive sip I hated myself more distinctly. It is common to know regret following a long bit of excess revelry. It is not common to know it immediately and fully, and continue with that same act by your own free will. And for that, Budweiser & Clamato is a drinking experience like none other.
MY first warning was when EoC said he had something "Special"
Was he trying to kill me again? Sure my directions to the grocery / booze depot had been sketchy, my navigation poor, and the U urn I busted in front of the casino patently ILLEGAL, but exactly what grade of shit HAD I warranted?
Then this stuff came out.
First impression, upon imbibing was "Bloody Mary". IT turns out this was jsut my brain trying to shield me from the true horror.
With each successive sip, I got less the sense of a morning beverage, and more the sense of three clams having a disco and horrible sweaty clam sex in an insufficiently rinsed pan of tomato sauce. I drank police mace later, and the taste finally remitted from my besieged palette, and the pain numbed my mind of the knowledge of what a golden shower from a Deep One would be like.
Quote from: Richter on June 02, 2011, 12:56:03 AM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 31, 2011, 01:07:54 AM
It was following a lack of sleep and a long morning of bacon and driving that Blight and myself walked purposefully into a Connecticut liquor store. Our pace was made by no ordinary determination to buy beer but actually a particular difficulty in moving through humidity so thick it tasted like ice cream flavored with the sins of the nearby casinos. We did this shit for the gleeful demons who demanded malted beverage to slake a thirst primal, perverse, and acute. There was no direction to the type of beer so much as there was a repetitive qualifier: lots.
Blight and I made our way across an adequate selection discussing the intricacies of purchasing a drinkable choice without dropping enough cash to red flag ourselves as deeply pocketed criminals on every agency watch list in the state. The cooler stacked up cases of vile waste and overpriced swill alike but for a small spot on the top shelf catching our eyes as we exited carrying our weight in cardboard, glass, and booze. There were words that I could not comprehend, like a nightmare that feels real but defies description. Budweiser was one. A hated word. And something else.
The grocery team was across the parking lot so we rendezvoused in the blank bland aisles with Richter, Leln, and Torte. I stood there and I thought. They tossed quantities of food in a cart never meant to be so burdened. There was something wrong there that I could not shake. Blight was gone as well, his mind left behind in that cooler. We walked back.
Clamato. That was it. Budweiser and Clamato. With salt and lime. It was one of those comforting moments where we realize no, we are not mad, it is the world that is mad and this thought was mixed with the singular purpose of needing to buy this four pack of pure fucking absurdity. Oh, and another 30 rack because fuck it. The cashier saw us again and asked if we forgot something and I said "Yes, this." He confusedly scanned the can to find that they only rang up one at a time. Nobody ever bought an entire four pack of this. They weren't even prepared for such an eventuality.
Subjecting ourselves to a mixture of piss beer, tomato juice and clam juice was one of those things that was done with such gusto that before I knew it Cram and Richter were outside shaking their cans with vigor and unconcern. The tab clicked the concoction open and we sipped and we did not speak and we passed the can to the next and, unsurprisingly, it came rather quickly back.
It was at this time that another Discordian guest arrived. He was handed the can and drank deeply and he turned and sprayed that amount in a fine mist. Many described it as terrible. This is not untrue, it is terrible. It exists to be terrible. Being terrible is the only fucking thing this could ever be and as such it succeeded so gloriously that it might be one of the most impressive beers I've had the distinct honor of guzzling with a very intense self loathing.
I believe Cram said that he didn't dislike it at first, but with each successive sip he hated it more distinctly. It would explain why all but one can was abandoned entirely. My can. Because it had to be done. And Cram was wrong, here. With each successive sip I did not hate it more distinctly. Rather, with each successive sip I hated myself more distinctly. It is common to know regret following a long bit of excess revelry. It is not common to know it immediately and fully, and continue with that same act by your own free will. And for that, Budweiser & Clamato is a drinking experience like none other.
MY first warning was when EoC said he had something "Special"
Was he trying to kill me again? Sure my directions to the grocery / booze depot had been sketchy, my navigation poor, and the U urn I busted in front of the casino patently ILLEGAL, but exactly what grade of shit HAD I warranted?
Then this stuff came out.
First impression, upon imbibing was "Bloody Mary". IT turns out this was jsut my brain trying to shield me from the true horror.
With each successive sip, I got less the sense of a morning beverage, and more the sense of three clams having a disco and horrible sweaty clam sex in an insufficiently rinsed pan of tomato sauce. I drank police mace later, and the taste finally remitted from my besieged palette, and the pain numbed my mind of the knowledge of what a golden shower from a Deep One would be like.
:mittens:
These were almost worth tasting that shit.
Quote from: Richter on June 02, 2011, 12:56:03 AM
MY first warning was when EoC said he had something "Special"
Was he trying to kill me again? Sure my directions to the grocery / booze depot had been sketchy, my navigation poor, and the U urn I busted in front of the casino patently ILLEGAL, but exactly what grade of shit HAD I warranted?
Then this stuff came out.
First impression, upon imbibing was "Bloody Mary". IT turns out this was jsut my brain trying to shield me from the true horror.
With each successive sip, I got less the sense of a morning beverage, and more the sense of three clams having a disco and horrible sweaty clam sex in an insufficiently rinsed pan of tomato sauce. I drank police mace later, and the taste finally remitted from my besieged palette, and the pain numbed my mind of the knowledge of what a golden shower from a Deep One would be like.
Banging an illegal U-ie doesn't justify this shit on your soul. Even if you raped a traffic law, Hell has fucking STANDARDS. (Plus the sign didn't specifically say you couldn't go left there, and if they fail to be explicit they really can't blame you for taking advantage. We were in Connecticut, after all, the Deep Ones recognize that the state deserves it).
I had one drink of the Clamato. A single swallow. My reaction was that it didn't horrify me as much as it really should have. Then again, I drink beer. I drink tomato-based vegetable juice on a weekday basis as part of my diet. The only thing that could scare me in this blasphemous concoction was the clam juice, which I honestly didn't notice at the time. To be fair, I only tasted the abomination once, and it seems that repeated exposures are necessary to truly comprehend the subtle, creeping horror of its magnificence. Maybe my sanity filters beat it on the first onslaught. I can never be sure.
I still regret that we didn't save a can to sneak into the scrambled eggs the next morning. It would have been wrong, but also EPIC. We
would have gotten reaction shots when we revealed the "secret ingredient."
Quote from: leln on June 02, 2011, 02:47:02 AM
Quote from: Richter on June 02, 2011, 12:56:03 AM
MY first warning was when EoC said he had something "Special"
Was he trying to kill me again? Sure my directions to the grocery / booze depot had been sketchy, my navigation poor, and the U urn I busted in front of the casino patently ILLEGAL, but exactly what grade of shit HAD I warranted?
Then this stuff came out.
First impression, upon imbibing was "Bloody Mary". IT turns out this was jsut my brain trying to shield me from the true horror.
With each successive sip, I got less the sense of a morning beverage, and more the sense of three clams having a disco and horrible sweaty clam sex in an insufficiently rinsed pan of tomato sauce. I drank police mace later, and the taste finally remitted from my besieged palette, and the pain numbed my mind of the knowledge of what a golden shower from a Deep One would be like.
Banging an illegal U-ie doesn't justify this shit on your soul. Even if you raped a traffic law, Hell has fucking STANDARDS. (Plus the sign didn't specifically say you couldn't go left there, and if they fail to be explicit they really can't blame you for taking advantage. We were in Connecticut, after all, the Deep Ones recognize that the state deserves it).
I had one drink of the Clamato. A single swallow. My reaction was that it didn't horrify me as much as it really should have. Then again, I drink beer. I drink tomato-based vegetable juice on a weekday basis as part of my diet. The only thing that could scare me in this blasphemous concoction was the clam juice, which I honestly didn't notice at the time. To be fair, I only tasted the abomination once, and it seems that repeated exposures are necessary to truly comprehend the subtle, creeping horror of its magnificence. Maybe my sanity filters beat it on the first onslaught. I can never be sure.
I still regret that we didn't save a can to sneak into the scrambled eggs the next morning. It would have been wrong, but also EPIC. We would have gotten reaction shots when we revealed the "secret ingredient."
:lulz:
This folks, is leln in a nutshell. Bibliographical fury and culinary excellence one moment, horrible, subtle evil the next.
Quote from: Khara on June 01, 2011, 10:33:21 PM
I say tequila for the salty drink, it will add a touch of peppery the mix.....
Then again, I really like tequila.
I like tequila with ghost pepper sauce thrown in.
The ghost chili liquor...
was pretty damned good
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on June 02, 2011, 12:38:12 PM
Quote from: Khara on June 01, 2011, 10:33:21 PM
I say tequila for the salty drink, it will add a touch of peppery the mix.....
Then again, I really like tequila.
I like tequila with ghost pepper sauce thrown in.
Why do I have the necessary ingredients, yet never have tried this?!?
I assume we are talking this: http://www.amazon.com/Mad-Dog-Ghost-Pepper-Sauce/dp/B003PZY08U
and not this: http://www.ashleyfoods.com/1-Million-Scoville-Pepper-Extract-1MIL1.html (though the brand we have looks different adn comes in smaller bottle I think).
The second one does sound like a challenge, though maybe not a smart one
Quote from: Jenne on June 01, 2011, 09:15:11 PM
...welp, suffice it to say, if you think tomato juice and anything is gross, you won't like cheladas at all. Ever. Pretty much. I have a sis-in-law who's like that. She'll take the lime-n-salt version, but nix the tomato/clamato for her. Is fine.
Diff'rent strokes, man.
I think tomato juice is gross by itself, bud is gross by itself, and nobody drinks clam juice by itself, but mix em all together with some lime, yum.
Quote from: Your Mom on June 01, 2011, 10:04:33 PM
Oooh, Jenne, what about yogurt, cucumber, salt, mint or cilantro, jalapeno, and vodka blended with just a bit of ice?
I need to try that.
EoC, you should post your review on BeerAdvocate (http://beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/29/37389).
Quote from: Your Mom on June 01, 2011, 10:03:16 PM
Quote from: Luna on June 01, 2011, 09:58:04 PM
Quote from: Your Mom on June 01, 2011, 09:55:10 PM
Schnapps is sweet as fuck, though.
True... but I tend to like the sweet stuff. I'd give it a try, anyhow.
I think it would be good with yogurt, but not in a salty drink... sweet/salty/minty sounds :vom:
Sweet/salty/minty sounds like toothpaste to me. Not what I want in a beverage.
Quote from: Pastor Miskatonic Zappathruster on June 02, 2011, 10:08:24 PM
EoC, you should post your review on BeerAdvocate (http://beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/29/37389).
Quote from: Your Mom on June 01, 2011, 10:03:16 PM
Quote from: Luna on June 01, 2011, 09:58:04 PM
Quote from: Your Mom on June 01, 2011, 09:55:10 PM
Schnapps is sweet as fuck, though.
True... but I tend to like the sweet stuff. I'd give it a try, anyhow.
I think it would be good with yogurt, but not in a salty drink... sweet/salty/minty sounds :vom:
Sweet/salty/minty sounds like toothpaste to me. Not what I want in a beverage.
Same here. But the mint-salt-cream of a salty dough is soooo awesome.
An acquired taste, again, especially for Americans who are so damned used to every drink being SWEET.
Quote from: BabylonHoruv on June 02, 2011, 07:19:14 PM
Quote from: Your Mom on June 01, 2011, 10:04:33 PM
Oooh, Jenne, what about yogurt, cucumber, salt, mint or cilantro, jalapeno, and vodka blended with just a bit of ice?
I need to try that.
This may be the winner.
Quote from: Richter on June 02, 2011, 03:07:37 AM
Quote from: leln on June 02, 2011, 02:47:02 AM
Quote from: Richter on June 02, 2011, 12:56:03 AM
MY first warning was when EoC said he had something "Special"
Was he trying to kill me again? Sure my directions to the grocery / booze depot had been sketchy, my navigation poor, and the U urn I busted in front of the casino patently ILLEGAL, but exactly what grade of shit HAD I warranted?
Then this stuff came out.
First impression, upon imbibing was "Bloody Mary". IT turns out this was jsut my brain trying to shield me from the true horror.
With each successive sip, I got less the sense of a morning beverage, and more the sense of three clams having a disco and horrible sweaty clam sex in an insufficiently rinsed pan of tomato sauce. I drank police mace later, and the taste finally remitted from my besieged palette, and the pain numbed my mind of the knowledge of what a golden shower from a Deep One would be like.
Banging an illegal U-ie doesn't justify this shit on your soul. Even if you raped a traffic law, Hell has fucking STANDARDS. (Plus the sign didn't specifically say you couldn't go left there, and if they fail to be explicit they really can't blame you for taking advantage. We were in Connecticut, after all, the Deep Ones recognize that the state deserves it).
I had one drink of the Clamato. A single swallow. My reaction was that it didn't horrify me as much as it really should have. Then again, I drink beer. I drink tomato-based vegetable juice on a weekday basis as part of my diet. The only thing that could scare me in this blasphemous concoction was the clam juice, which I honestly didn't notice at the time. To be fair, I only tasted the abomination once, and it seems that repeated exposures are necessary to truly comprehend the subtle, creeping horror of its magnificence. Maybe my sanity filters beat it on the first onslaught. I can never be sure.
I still regret that we didn't save a can to sneak into the scrambled eggs the next morning. It would have been wrong, but also EPIC. We would have gotten reaction shots when we revealed the "secret ingredient."
:lulz:
This folks, is leln in a nutshell. Bibliographical fury and culinary excellence one moment, horrible, subtle evil the next.
Your sister is AWESOME. :D
Quote from: Jenne on June 01, 2011, 08:31:56 PM
Quote from: Canis latrans securis on June 01, 2011, 08:12:24 PM
THis thread makes me want to get some tomato juice and lager and Tapatio and do SCIENCE!!!
LIME! Do NOT forget the lime. Otherwise, all is lost.
I'm doing this next time it's hot out.
WITH SHITTY BEER, YOU FUCKS!
Quote from: ☄ · · · N E T · · · ☄ on June 09, 2011, 11:32:19 AM
Quote from: Jenne on June 01, 2011, 08:31:56 PM
Quote from: Canis latrans securis on June 01, 2011, 08:12:24 PM
THis thread makes me want to get some tomato juice and lager and Tapatio and do SCIENCE!!!
LIME! Do NOT forget the lime. Otherwise, all is lost.
I'm doing this next time it's hot out.
WITH SHITTY BEER, YOU FUCKS!
DO IIIIIT!
Which beers are 'shitty?'
Bud, miller, coors and???
Nasty Ice
Quote from: Slyph on June 09, 2011, 08:39:12 PM
Nasty Ice
Im not sure any malt "beer" would make a good michelada
Corona works, but yeah, the big 3 of American domestics are basically the shittiest--Pabst works, Schlitz...
Quote from: Disco Pickle on June 09, 2011, 09:57:16 PM
Quote from: Slyph on June 09, 2011, 08:39:12 PM
Nasty Ice
Im not sure any malt "beer" would make a good michelada
Ew, no, no "malt liquor" works. The flavor is too strong, and too wrong.
Yeah, don't do malt liquor with flavorings. NO NO NO.
Yuck, pitooey. (see, I do have leanings toward high-falutin' tastes, lmao)
There's really only ONE reason to use ANYTHING with "malt liquor" and "flavorings"--you wanna get a teenager drunk. (usu that teenager was ME...that was my "flavoring" of choice in h.s. till I uh got roommates who drank)
Quote from: trippinprincezz13 on June 02, 2011, 05:11:10 PM
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on June 02, 2011, 12:38:12 PM
Quote from: Khara on June 01, 2011, 10:33:21 PM
I say tequila for the salty drink, it will add a touch of peppery the mix.....
Then again, I really like tequila.
I like tequila with ghost pepper sauce thrown in.
Why do I have the necessary ingredients, yet never have tried this?!?
I assume we are talking this: http://www.amazon.com/Mad-Dog-Ghost-Pepper-Sauce/dp/B003PZY08U
and not this: http://www.ashleyfoods.com/1-Million-Scoville-Pepper-Extract-1MIL1.html (though the brand we have looks different adn comes in smaller bottle I think).
The second one does sound like a challenge, though maybe not a smart one
Sorry I missed this. Yes, the first one. :)
ETA: It's not just the heat but also the other sauce ingredients that make it blend well.
Ps- "malt liquor" doesn't always mean a 40 of colt 45. It just means strong (higher abv) ale/lager/beer with malted barley and little hop flavor [/party pooper]
Quote from: Sir Squid Diddimus on June 10, 2011, 07:50:28 AM
Ps- "malt liquor" doesn't always mean a 40 of colt 45. It just means strong (higher abv) ale/lager/beer with malted barley and little hop flavor [/party pooper]
It's a government term, a legal designation in some states, It's not a drinker's term.
I can't believe this thread is nine pages long.
You people disgust me.
<3 Eve
Quote from: Eve on June 11, 2011, 11:32:36 PM
I can't believe this thread is nine pages long.
You people disgust me.
<3 Eve
I also like oyster shooters.
:)
You should try an OysterMeister.
I'm sure you can figure out what the ingredients are.
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on June 12, 2011, 01:16:57 AM
You should try an OysterMeister.
I'm sure you can figure out what the ingredients are.
Who squanders oysters like that?
Horse Jizz (http://www.drinksmixer.com/drink4313.html)
Bloody Tampon (http://www.1001cocktails.com/recipes/mixed-drinks/101006/cocktail-bloody-tampon.html)
Macaroni and Cheese Jello Shot (http://myjelloamericans.blogspot.com/2010/07/mac-cheese.html)
:vom: :vom: :vom: :vom: :vom: :vom: :vom: :vom: :vom: :vom: :vom: :vom: :vom: :vom: :vom: :vom: :vom: :vom: :vom: :vom: :vom: :vom:
Quote from: Eve on June 11, 2011, 11:32:36 PM
I can't believe this thread is nine pages long.
You people disgust me.
<3 Eve
:lulz:
Quote from: Richter on June 02, 2011, 12:56:03 AM
MY first warning was when EoC said he had something "Special"
Was he trying to kill me again? Sure my directions to the grocery / booze depot had been sketchy
speaking of, ATTN SUU: please to scan + post the grocery list I left at your place (it's probably on your desk somewhere).
Quotemy navigation poor, and the U urn I busted in front of the casino patently ILLEGAL
Are U-turns that bad over there? :) I remember on Tuesday when we had just rented our car (a Hyundai TUCSON, ominous, big, automatic transmission and produced in South Korea--a True American Car), Schwarzwaelder Kirschtorte turn left at the exit of the TF Green Airport rental lot, where she should have turned right. Suu informed her, and since the traffic was completely clear and the layout of the road seemed to allow it, she made a U-turn right there on the road. Sure, it's not
really allowed, but Suu was all like :eek:, how big of an offense is this, anyway?
Apart from that, though, she was probably the neatest driver in three states, which might have had an effect on our surroundings, because really, we didn't have much trouble with any of the horrible kind of bad driving we were warned against. Only thing was sometimes when you need to change lanes, people won't let you until the very last possible moment. But that's a cultural thing, German drivers will
always let you go in between in front of them, if you just signal them, even if it's super busy, they'll be super nice. Dutch drivers can be assholes. New England drivers can be somewhat worse, yes. There's a huge difference with Vermont vs Providence/Boston too. We didn't have any troubles in Vermont at all. Though that might also be because there aren't any big busy city traffic roads in VT.
We also thought that the traffic in NYC was much milder than we'd expected. As well as general busyness on the streets. I had expected at least
some of the streets would be like that "Woman in Red" scene from the Matrix where you have to wade through a sea of people. Now we didn't actually get to Times Square (no time, too many interesting things to see elsewhere), we did get very near to it, and many other places including the streets around Broadway and Wall Street, which were quite busy, but not
that busy. Nothing like the Herestraat* in Groningen, a broad pedestrian-only busy shopping street, where you
do have to avoid people every few steps, especially on Saturday afternoon. (Okay maybe a few times in NYC it was busy like that, the Herestraat mostly looks busier because it's much wider than a sidewalk, it looks a lot like Chuch Street Marketplace (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/58/Burlington%2C_Vermont.jpg) in Burlington VT)
*yet another piece of Big Dutch Trivia: The street Broadway in NYC was initially named "Heerestraat", after this street. Then renamed to "Breede weg", then literally translated to "Broadway".
QuoteFirst impression, upon imbibing was "Bloody Mary". IT turns out this was jsut my brain trying to shield me from the true horror.
With each successive sip, I got less the sense of a morning beverage, and more the sense of three clams having a disco and horrible sweaty clam sex in an insufficiently rinsed pan of tomato sauce. I drank police mace later, and the taste finally remitted from my besieged palette, and the pain numbed my mind of the knowledge of what a golden shower from a Deep One would be like.
You know, I think I could have actually drank my entire can, it wasn't
that bad, except for the part where everybody around me went URRRGH all the time, and the part where there were much more delicious things to drink (like Richters Medium-strength version of Weapon X and bright yellow cans of Harpoon Summer Beer).
Quote from: lelnI had one drink of the Clamato. A single swallow. My reaction was that it didn't horrify me as much as it really should have. Then again, I drink beer. I drink tomato-based vegetable juice on a weekday basis as part of my diet. The only thing that could scare me in this blasphemous concoction was the clam juice, which I honestly didn't notice at the time.
It was the salty part. Kinda like how you should add Worcester-sauce to tomato juice.
I kinda wanted to mix it with a shot of your Strong Weapon X, which I think would have been very good (replacing the Tabasco that's also required in a good glass of tomato juice). I just wasn't sure enough that I wanted to risk wasting your fabulous firewater.
Quote from: Jenne on June 03, 2011, 04:44:26 PM
Quote from: Richter on June 02, 2011, 03:07:37 AM
Quote from: leln on June 02, 2011, 02:47:02 AMI still regret that we didn't save a can to sneak into the scrambled eggs the next morning. It would have been wrong, but also EPIC. We would have gotten reaction shots when we revealed the "secret ingredient."
:lulz:
This folks, is leln in a nutshell. Bibliographical fury and culinary excellence one moment, horrible, subtle evil the next.
Your sister is AWESOME. :D
Yes :)
And yeah, it probably
would have been very good in the scrambled eggs.
Or in a stew, or perhaps reduced into the red pasta sauce, or something.
Quote from: Rip City Hustle on June 12, 2011, 01:16:57 AM
You should try an OysterMeister.
I'm sure you can figure out what the ingredients are.
Speaking of, Cramulus is now the proud owner of a bottle of Weduwe Joustra Beerenburg. Which is like Jaegermeifter, except it's not as sweet and sticky and doesn't taste like cough syrup but actually tastes very nice.
This weekend I spotted the offensive and beautiful Bud/Clamato concoction in Anchorage. Of course, I bought the large can. They had a Bud Light version a well but that's just stupid. One needs have standards, after all.
It was accompanied by a number of delicious local beers and a Four Loco because fuck it. At PD's great advice, we saved the can until the morning, for extra breakfast calories and hangover combat. I think it's safe to say that Frozen Chosen, Alty, and Pirate Hooker agreed with the general consensus of OH GOD WHY, WHY WHY. I, again, finished the can.
A bald eagle flew overhead not long before the cheleda breakfast. I cannot say for certain that these two events were connected, but I also cannot say that they were not.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on June 13, 2011, 09:32:27 PM
A bald eagle flew overhead not long before the cheleda breakfast. I cannot say for certain that these two events were connected, but I also cannot say that they were not.
:lulz:
Quote from: Your Mom on June 13, 2011, 09:44:14 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on June 13, 2011, 09:32:27 PM
A bald eagle flew overhead not long before the cheleda breakfast. I cannot say for certain that these two events were connected, but I also cannot say that they were not.
:lulz:
:lulz:
The 2nd taste was by far worse than the first.
Also, that four loco? If a watermelon jolly rancher had an asshole, and it was particularly filthy with jolly rancher filth...yeah.
Quote from: Alty on June 14, 2011, 12:34:04 AM
The 2nd taste was by far worse than the first.
Also, that four loco? If a watermelon jolly rancher had an asshole, and it was particularly filthy with jolly rancher filth...yeah.
Well I wasn't complaining, mostly because right before the hike where we carried pounds of empty beer bottles and other gear, I gave away our only water supply to an old man teaching his granddaughter how to fish.
Thus, Four Loco and Heineken were our only sources of hydration for the length of it. 8)