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The EDL Literary Division

Started by Cain, October 18, 2012, 03:35:11 PM

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Cain

Oh god, I think I am crying from laughing too much.

So, over in the UK we have this thing called the English Defence League.  It's sort of a Teabaggers meets football hooligans, with less libertarianism and more outright fascism.  The EDL claim to be defending England from Muslim extremists....although, when you ask their members, it often seems every Muslims is an extremist, and everyone from the Middle East or South Asia is a Muslim.

Anyway, their hilariously illiterate online rants have led to some wag invented a EDL Literary Division tumblr, where their...unusual prose is broken down and turned into beautiful poetry.  Here is what I consider to the magnum opus of this project:

QuoteANTIC DOTES

illumiati conspiracy theorist gimps of anonymice
any one can threat over a key board sausages
detack you propergander
go back to cockoo land..how dare you be so insilant!!!
EDL is not a righted winged party
we are deemedrs of Englishness
get ya facts right ya soap digging bastard
I hope u get ur come up ons

sheffield newcastle glasgow ext ext ext
essex or surrounding hairier
mouth a protest, shitstare
standing up against Muslim peas rings
Muslim synthesizers, bonified paedos
terarisam, terriny, richeous holycost
The predators are waiting and praying on the vulnerable
Its not rocket salad people

people that read books are fictionist.
all are ill with 10 kids voting sleeps , wake up
IDIOLOGICAL NUM NUTS
i know water and soap is like criptamite to you lot
week trators manovered revolunishnents
YOU'R ARE THE LOOSER ON THE GAME
as a scientist i can tell you your clames are false
EMBRACE BRITISH CULTAR!!

Beautiful ideology, more like an evil colt
they have their own adjendure
they wat stone into b law
they cry racisum, fucking rediculouse!
this is serioas man its not rapin compittion
a bit sinicter, unbaleivable
ACTIONS SPEAK LOADER WORDS
Time for a new Adrians wall!!!

muslimification of britain
Lets wave our rights so as to not offend.
justice aint strongerenough
GIVE THEM SUPERIORITY TREATMENT
deprevation of character, anger breads fast
rasisam , riligiousisam and taotaliterian
it's all got to be about board and lawful
How much is memebership? where can I join

LMNO

Quotewe are deemedrs

My brain shut off at that point, sheerly out of self-defense.

Q. G. Pennyworth

GET YA FACTS RIGHT YA SOAP DIGGING BASTARD

Cain

That's a shame, as you are missing out on

Quotecriptamite

and

QuoteAdrians wall!!!

and

QuoteMuslim synthesizers, bonified paedos
terarisam, terriny, richeous holycost

which may be my favourite two lines of all of poetry, of all time.

LMNO


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

 :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: This is AMAZING.

I don't get the "Adrian's wall!!!" line.

It's hard to pick out favorites, but

QuoteBeautiful ideology, more like an evil colt
they have their own adjendure
they wat stone into b law
they cry racisum, fucking rediculouse!

:lol:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Cain

Quote from: Man Green on October 18, 2012, 04:23:44 PM
I don't get the "Adrian's wall!!!" line.

I'm fairly sure they mean "Hadrian's Wall", though I'm not sure how keeping the Picts out of England will solve the problem of Islamic extremism.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Is the author of that blog spelling "meme" "meem", or is a "meem" something different?
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Cain

I'm fairly sure it's an ironic misspelling

EK WAFFLR

Oh my wordly worthington. This is even better than Muslamic Ray Guns.
"At first I lifted weights.  But then I asked myself, 'why not people?'  Now everyone runs for the fjord when they see me."


Horribly Oscillating Assbasket of Deliciousness
[/b]

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Cain on October 18, 2012, 04:51:23 PM
I'm fairly sure it's an ironic misspelling

Gotcha. It's extra ironic (in a way) because it's also the name of a Lebanese GLBQ group.  :lol:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Reginald Ret

Hahahhah! I'm putting this up at work, there are a few bigots there, this may become interesting.
Lord Byron: "Those who will not reason, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves."

Nigel saying the wisest words ever uttered: "It's just a suffix."

"The worst forum ever" "The most mediocre forum on the internet" "The dumbest forum on the internet" "The most retarded forum on the internet" "The lamest forum on the internet" "The coolest forum on the internet"

Placid Dingo

Personally I can't go past It's not rocket salad people.

I want to make performance poetry from this.
Haven't paid rent since 2014 with ONE WEIRD TRICK.

Luna

Oh, my fucking...

I don't know how many times it would take to actually absorb all of that into my brain... and I'm afraid of the resulting damage...

Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Placid Dingo on October 18, 2012, 11:17:11 PM
Personally I can't go past It's not rocket salad people.

I want to make performance poetry from this.

I'm going to start saying that.

"It's not rocket salad people".
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."