OPEN BAR: 50 Shades of Chronic Liver Disease

[The Johnny]

I passed my security test. I am one step closer to a temporary existence as a rent-a-pig. I apologize if this shatters anyone's impression of me. And I weep if it doesn't.

Welcome to the club.

Incidentally, this town is such a shithole.  While riding back from work, I saw a pile of vomit, some blood splatter and a crushed up bottle of Lucozade, and my first thought was "well, at least someone had fun last night".

Cain,
did not have fun last night.

All of civilization, distilled into one splash of humanity.

Well, I think linking this place and civilization is a bit of a stretch.  I was woken up the other day by cows.  COWS.

1000 times better than being woken by a satanic pig/hog squeal

[Pæs]

Also, less fucking spiders, Bethesda.  Jeez.

I'm sorry, I love those furry little bastards.

I use the ritual stone/aetherial crown to have a constant army of them following me, raising them again when they fall.

I am the spider king.

[Suu]

My dad has pissed me off this whole fucking visit.

My version of the diet is not as good as his, and I'm going to get fat again while he acts like a fucking anorexic twat.
He refuses to drink anything, but he sure as fuck downed those free bloody marys this morning at the baseball game.
And now, he doesn't want to go out tonight as planned with his friends because he's "not drinking" so I'm stranded at home instead of doing ANYTHING tonight. Amateur night? Yeah, I know, but it's a craft beer tour in downtown Dunedin, and I was looking forward to it, but nooooo, the parade was cancelled and he's not drinking beer and I'm just going to get fat again so we're not going.

My sister has to go pick up her BF at the airport tonight, and my mom doesn't want to do anything, either. So glad we had all these fucking plans.

I think I'm skipping Christmas this year.

[Suu]

I can fix this.

I can drink all the liquor in the house.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Why would a gay clown want to rape you?

In my nightmares it doesn't matter WHY.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Next stop, Hillsboro, Oregon.

Are they sending you to Hillsboro???

WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT? There's nothing there except Nike and I think Intel.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I just got back from taking my bio midterm, think I did OK and should get an A in the class.

In other news, I feel utterly unprepared for my chemistry final.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Next stop, Hillsboro, Oregon.

Are they sending you to Hillsboro???

WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT? There's nothing there except Nike and I think Intel.

And a ceramic company that I need to use.  We just have some disagreements over terms and conditions.

So far, I kinda like this new position.  I was paid for being shouty today.  Well, sort of shouty.  I didn't actually raise my voice, but it was shouty.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I just got back from taking my bio midterm, think I did OK and should get an A in the class.

In other news, I feel utterly unprepared for my chemistry final.

1.  Excellent.

2.  You're gonna kick that pig.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Next stop, Hillsboro, Oregon.

Are they sending you to Hillsboro???

WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT? There's nothing there except Nike and I think Intel.

And a ceramic company that I need to use.  We just have some disagreements over terms and conditions.

So far, I kinda like this new position.  I was paid for being shouty today.  Well, sort of shouty.  I didn't actually raise my voice, but it was shouty.

Haha that's awesome!

Well, Hillsboro is right outside of Portland, it's one of the suburbs I make fun of when I'm trying to think of a place nobody wants to go. Let me know when you're in town!

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Next stop, Hillsboro, Oregon.

Are they sending you to Hillsboro???

WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT? There's nothing there except Nike and I think Intel.

And a ceramic company that I need to use.  We just have some disagreements over terms and conditions.

So far, I kinda like this new position.  I was paid for being shouty today.  Well, sort of shouty.  I didn't actually raise my voice, but it was shouty.

Haha that's awesome!

Well, Hillsboro is right outside of Portland, it's one of the suburbs I make fun of when I'm trying to think of a place nobody wants to go. Let me know when you're in town!

Will do.  You promised to show me that weird Escher-esque mausoleum thingie.  And the pipe.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I just got back from taking my bio midterm, think I did OK and should get an A in the class.

In other news, I feel utterly unprepared for my chemistry final.

1.  Excellent.

2.  You're gonna kick that pig.

Ugh, I hope so. I got a 96 on the last midterm. But these last few weeks it's gotten pretty crazy, like she's just throwing equations at us like "memorize this". I'm going to go over the practice test tomorrow in the LC, just to make sure I have all the concepts down.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Next stop, Hillsboro, Oregon.

Are they sending you to Hillsboro???

WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT? There's nothing there except Nike and I think Intel.

And a ceramic company that I need to use.  We just have some disagreements over terms and conditions.

So far, I kinda like this new position.  I was paid for being shouty today.  Well, sort of shouty.  I didn't actually raise my voice, but it was shouty.

Haha that's awesome!

Well, Hillsboro is right outside of Portland, it's one of the suburbs I make fun of when I'm trying to think of a place nobody wants to go. Let me know when you're in town!

Will do.  You promised to show me that weird Escher-esque mausoleum thingie.  And the pipe.

Hell yeah! The pipe is a little hypothermic this time of year but we can at least eyeball the entrance.

[Richter]

Work seemed like small problems and low volume after the weekend.  Perspective like that means the time off was done RIGHT 

[Telarus]

Roger in PDX? I'd be down for that.