Tense. Always tense.
Don't say anything, because it might upset someone, it might offend someone, it might make people you respect view you with scorn, it might hurt someone else.
Don't explain, because it doesn't matter anyway, it won't be listened to, it's just an excuse, it'll be seen to be a lie, it'll be taken out of context, it'll open unhealed wounds, it'll make things harder, it wasn't asked for.
Don't make eye contact, because they'll think you like them, think you hate them, think you're challenging them, think you want to fight, think you want to talk, think you have the energy to deal.
Don't react, because it'll start a fight, give them power, appear you were eavesdropping, be offensive, start a conversation, be shameful, make you look strange.
Don't speak, because nobody cares, nobody asked, it's you ignoring them, you aren't an expert, you don't have the energy, don't have the will, don't feel welcome anyway.
Don't... do anything rash, because you promised, you don't want to, you can't be doing that shit, people will see.
Tense. Ever-present and the normal state, can't even tell anymore. All the "don'ts" are fights against the DOs. It's so very uncomfortable to do, when the default is don't, and it is usually more trouble than it's worth, it seems. Stressful.
But the sleeping pills make it go away. Sometimes. Sometimes if you take enough, you find peace, emptiness, relaxation, a lack of DON'T because there is no DO. No more barely registered thoughts of broken glass and broken skin, suppressed bitterness or anger or violence or terror or sadness, no more allergy symptoms either. But that's just a bonus, really. Side effect of can't breathe is a small price to pay to not guard against yourself, to not even have to.
Don't do it too often, though. You know why.
I like it
(http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/4c/70/01/4c7001b016ddf9d7a9e63f2315a5dd04.jpg)
For what it's worth: I happen to think this is a powerful piece.
This is good work, Freeky.
Quote from: LuciferX on April 07, 2016, 08:37:41 AM
I like it
(http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/4c/70/01/4c7001b016ddf9d7a9e63f2315a5dd04.jpg)
That's a pretty picture.
Really good piece, Freeky. Very relatable.
I really like it.
When I was younger I used to steal ambien from a friend of mine. They only rarely took it and had a pretty irresponsibly flexible prescription, so they never noticed.
It's not like thc or pcp,
You don't get high
like cnn or fox or nbc
You escape.
Not to another world, another frame of thought, like with LSD.
Like with ideology.
If we're in a prison, and drugs let us break and put up walls for a little bit,
hypnotics are like filling the whole cell in cement and rock.
until you're displaced from the whole thing
and you're stuck on top of the prison complex
and all you see is an infinite plane of iron and brick
and it's sunny
and the iron is hot on your feet
and the sun is blinding you
and the air is thick and you're not on the roof
you're in the sand
you're in the cement
and the heat makes you sleepy
and you nod off in the sunlight and breeze and the sediment and the rock and the hot metal
and wake back up in your room with vomit on your shirt and an awful headache.
Fuck yeah.