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Do the officers in the schools really need M16s? I'd think a pistol would be enough.
http://www.myfoxtampabay.com/story/26561770/pinellas-schools-police-buys-m16-rifles

"It's necessary for the officers to have the tools to be able to safely deploy and take care of the threats that are occurring in our schools without having to get so close to a terrible threat that they put other students or themselves in harm's way before they can take the necessary action to stop the threat," the chief explained Wednesday afternoon.

He declined to say how the rifles will be stored on a dozen school campuses, but claimed they will be both secure and "quickly accessible."

The department is still developing a training and deployment program, but expects to have the first weapons in service by Thanksgiving.

Idle hands are a devil's playground.

I've heard that phrase a million times. And it came to me again today. There is some truth to that saying, but the devil isn't some otherworldly bad guy that will make you do bad stuff. It's the voice inside your own head that plays that constant loop of not being worthy, not being good, being a slob or a lazy bum*.

Doing something makes that voice take a back seat. It's still there, you just can't hear it as well. Because you are too busy with the project at hand there's no way you are being lazy. When you are cleaning the bathroom or washing the dishes there is no way you are being a slob. And you'd be amazed at how much that improves your mood.

Once you're out of the 'lazy slob' loop you can start working on breaking the 'not worthy, no good' loop. Which tends to happen while you are doing something. Because then you are able to look at things a bit better, evaluate without the overbearing sense of uselessnes that the other loop brings.
That is if you tend to have long conversations with yourself like I do.

So the time to start working on that devil is now. Get up and do something, anything. Especially if it's something you are putting off, because that just gives it fuel. Fuel that can be better spent elsewhere.


*substitute whatever negatives are appropriate

The intellectual self is in a constant war with the instinctual self.
This conflict is fucking annoying, quite frankly.
Gets worse when the little nagging voice wants to chime in. The one that says you're a lazy bum because you've taken a half hour break. Or the one that says you are useless and can't amount to anything. Despite having checked off a good chunk of your to-do list. But the fact that it wasn't anything BIG or SPECIAL means that you might as well have done nothing at all.

The knives all look so pretty. They would even look better stuck in something. Something soft and warm.
Ah, but these are thoughts best kept in the head. Wouldn't want anyone to know that you aren't the innocent angel you seem to be. Everyone thinks you are such a nice girl, with you're quiet demeanor. They even find your social awkwardness cute. While they go on and on about the inane gossip of the day you thank whatever deity is responsible that they don't realize you have a constant play going on inside your head where there is a sly smile and blood everywhere.

Up and down, round and round.

There's a story to be had somewhere.

Since my last writing effort was over six months ago (carnival was originally wrote last year) I think I just need to start putting stuff out even if it isn't remotely finished. So that's what this thread is about. Here's the current attempt:

It calls to you from every room and screen.
It calls to you to make you shout and scream.

The XBOX is your mistress, it tells you what you need.
Clothes, food, bills. What things are these?

Oh, I need these things to keep going. Must make the green.
All that matters, then, is just enough for me.

Time to spend another 80 on little plastic discs.
Time to kill another zombie, another alien, another hit.

The others don't matter, they can do fine themselves.
Still got batteries in the controller and unplayed games on the shelves.

There are many things that can be used to describe this carnival, depending on who you ask.
Ask a child and they will see lots of fun rides and games, prizes to be one from cheerful painted faces.
Ask an adult and they might see a place to hang with friends, take a date, show how brave or competitive they are.

What the average person will not describe is what I see. The hidden reality of it all.
The games are all rigged, unless the guy running it takes a liking to you that big stuffed dog will never be yours. And you really don't want him to take a liking to you.

The rides start as fun at first, but suddenly you notice a loose screw or a bit of metal that juts out wrong. You realize that this metal contraption is not a ride at all. It's a death trap. But some like that bit of adrenaline rush, that attempt to cheat fate. "It won't break down this time I ride it", you think, "I know it's bound to happen, but definitely not with me."

The cheerful, painted faces are the ones you need to watch out for most of all. I see what lies behind those eyes. They are sad and lonely people, at best. Demented and sinister at worst. People to be watched. Because they are disguising themselves, putting everyone at ease. Who knows for what reason, maybe it's just so that people will spend their money. Maybe something more, like that game runner I mentioned before.

Remember, I said you don't want him taking a liking to you. But you just had to have that big stuffed dog so you smiled sweetly and spent a bit of money. Congratulations, you won! He's staring at you now, watches every time you pass his booth. I see the grin on his face, see the wheels going behind his head.

Hope you don't turn up on the morning news.

Just something that went through my head...
~~~~
I look around and see nothing but blankness.
There is no emotion, not really.
The faces are a mask. There to try and convince you that everything is alright.

What you can't see behind the smile is the utter indifference.
These people don't care about you. They don't even care about themselves.

Going about their daily routine, never noticing the change in season.

It's time to break out of that mindset. See the world around you.
The blue of the sky, the red leaves on the tree, a ripple in a pond as ducks go by.
What good is existence if you don't live as well?

It's time to strike a match and grow the flame...