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Now, as for Cthulhu, Dagon, Shub-Niggurath, Azathoth, and others as their deities, I do have a justification. Squid in the wild die soon after reproduction, on purpose. When uplifted by humans, ingeniopods were made to be capable of multiple reproductive events without dying. But there's still an instinct down deep in their heritage to have sex and die. It has become a twisted impulse that mashes together a desire for murder/suicide with sex.

That sounds like it would resonate more closely with Slaanesh, the cthulhu-mythos inspired elven deity of sadomasochism from Warhammer 40,000

A man discovers that one of his coworkers is actually a space alien (or hollow earth creature, or demon, or angel, or other cryptid) living covertly on Earth for one reason or another. Further investigation reveals another acquaintance to be an alien (or whatever), but from a completely different planet (or whatever) from - and unaware of - the first one. This goes on, and it becomes clear that the vast majority of the population are different groups of paranormal beings, blending in with "humanity" mutually unaware of each other's existence; and it is unclear if there is even any significant quantity of humans left at all, or just different groups of aliens fooling each other

Idea for holiday special:

Charles Taze Russel (founder of the Jehovah's Witnesses), William Bradford (leader of the mayflower pilgrims), and Oliver Cromwell team up and hatch a sinister plan to steal Christmas. The only ones who can stop them are a team of "second-string holiday characters" consisting of Krampus, the Nutcracker, Good King Wenceslas, and Jesus Christ

(Possibly has a twist ending in which the protagonists are betrayed by Jesus, who's been a double agent the whole time - but they emerge victorious anyway)

A zombie apocalypse, except instead of turning people into zombies the virus turns everyone into the protagonist's ex-girlfriend (who's some sort of microbiology researcher...there was a lab accident...etc. etc. etc.). This idea came to me in a dream (in which it was the plot of a Jim Carey movie that I was watching)

How about an account of the Nativity of Jesus of Nazareth based on the idea that the Virgin Mary was the subject of an alien-human hybridization experiment. I've encountered this idea before, but never as the main focus of a novel, only as a side detail in a novel or as something mentioned in a "documentary" on the Tinfoil Hat Channel, or a highly questionable interpretation of Blue Oyster Cult lyrics. I'd like to see a full length story based on the idea.

Here's some idle thoughts about things that might help the situation:

1.) As soon as the relevant technology starts to see large-scale production all current police sidearms should be replaced with models that use biometric verification to identofy legitimate users, thus ending the legitimacy of "he tried to take my gun" as a relevant excuse. The officers themselves would also be protected in the rare cases when someone actually does go for their gun. Write your congressthing.

2.) If the sense of espirit de corps among police officers could somehow be reduced or eliminated (though i don't know how this would be achieved), police would actually be willing to arrest other officers that they catch breaking the law.

The portrayal of men on television as the leader of a family especially in comedy shows is always as a blundering oaf (Simpsons, Family guy, American dad),  or menacing threatening figure (Primarily when the show is from the point of view of teen child of the family).

The father from American Dad really fits both those categories, not just the first one.

Iain Banks had a character in one of his books pitch a movie idea - aliens as tourists (the 'elite', which brings to mind retired rockstars and dotcom billionaires), coming to see the eclipse (because - according to the character - our planet is one of the only ones with a perfect lunar eclipse).

I think that could be an interesting setup. The story of a shallow alien who comes for the thrills, and the slow, horrible realization that this kind of utterly mundane and familiar motivation is in fact all there is out there.

Kind of an anti-Lovecraft. We have seen the alien, and understood it completely.

This is even scarier than terrors unutterable and Actually Kind of Droll. 

Isn't that sort of the premise of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, though? That the boring shithole existence on earth is representative of the whole universe?

Sort of, but I'm not sure I would classify HHGTTG as "opposite of Lovecraft", if anything it's a bit like Lovecraft's nihilism and cynicism taken further to the point where they are no longer recognizable. Even the profound is meaningless and mediocre, such deities as there are are inept, the universe is doomed (and you can go and gawk at said doom of you have the money), and mindshattering lovecraftian theophanies of cosmic horror can be induced at will using a piece of fairy cake and some fancy electronics. Human life does have a purpose, but it's a trite purpose derived from part of a cynical scheme to profitize philosophy and it effectively does nothing to prevent humanity from being destroyed.
The Total Perspective Vortex is particularly noteworthy because its essentially based on exactly the philosophical point that much of lovecraft's fiction was allegedly trying to make, that no matter who you are you're utterly insignificant and inconsequential compared to the vastness of the universe, and that only our inability to comprehend and mentally internalize this vastness allows us to have any sort of drive, self regard, or hope or satisfaction; that if we could truly comprehend our own insignificance - and the insignificance and impermanance of eberything that we value - we would be struck down simply by the sheer awfulness of the revelation

An argument over an Apple iPad tablet turns into a combination of the Judgement of Paris and the Enuma Elish.

The ironic thing is that I actually did a forum search to see if this had been discussed before, and it only turned up a single ancillary mention of the magazine.

I think I accidentally ran a search of the High Weirdness subforum only, because I ran another search today and got significantly more hits; including a similar topic that I apparently started five and a half years ago. So I do apologize for posting nearly the same topic twice, but I legitimately did check into whether this was redundant with previous discussions.

I don't got out much due to a combination of anxiety, depression, and asperger's syndrome. And recently I've been having trouble sleeping with the result of me spending a lot more time posting on message boards; including some, such as this one, that I had otherwise more or less stopped posting on.

I think the topic is a little more justified than you give it credit for though. While the IgNobel Prizes themselves are pretty famous, the magazine that gives them out seems to be a lot less famous.

Have you ever heard of the magazine The Annals of Improbable Research?

They're a periodical about scientific discoveries that, while legitimate, is nonetheless bizarre, frivolous, weirdly specific, and/or in some way offensive.

They also give out yearly awards for such research (there's some really interesting ones among the winners for 2011)

I feel like that's possibly discussed in more detail in the Kerry Thornley introduction in the Illuminet press edition (Purple).

It's also discussed in more detail in the Book of Eris

Page 46, or possibly 53

Ye have locked yerselves up in cages of fear--and, behold, do ye now complain that ye lack FREEDOM!

Ye have cast out yer brothers for devils and now complain ye, lamenting that ye've been left to fight alone.

All Chaos was once yer kingdom; verily, held ye dominion over the entire Pentaverse, but today ye was sore afraid in dark corners, nooks, and sink holes.

O how the darknesses do crowd up, one against the other, in yer hearts!

Verily, verily I say unto you, not all the Sinister Ministers of the Bavarian Illuminati, working together in multitudes, could so entwine the land with tribulation as have yer baseless warnings.