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How to BE a fat bastard

Started by The Dark Monk, June 24, 2012, 02:31:39 PM

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Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: E.O.T. on July 07, 2012, 07:16:40 PM


WATCHING A MOVIE

          with the kids last nite a request for corn dogs was made. and fulfilled. the box had three sets of preparation instructions, traditional oven, microwave and

DEEP FRIED

          on the box

Deep fried is the way to go! get a Frydaddy.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Anna Mae Bollocks

Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on July 07, 2012, 07:07:23 PM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on July 06, 2012, 12:05:56 PM
A YOUTUBE VIDEO WHOSE HOUR HAS COME AT LAST


The best part is that by the standards of the day, Allan Sherman was fat enough to be "the fat comedian". Today, if you want to be "the fat comedian", you have to attain a level of obesity that, less than a hundred years ago, would have made you a circus sideshow freak.

True.

These women look...run of the mill.  :x

Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Freeky

To be FAT PERSON:

Step one: Develop insatiable appetite for chips and ketchoney (ketchup and honey, don't knock it until you've tried it unless you hate ketchup, then yeah, you won't like it that much).

Step two:  Eat a party size bag of chips in one to two sittings over an average period of less than a day to a day and a half.

Step three:  Stop caring what you look like because there's just too much effort in that and who cares anyway, you definitely don't.  Best to do it in bed, in the dark, while filling that empty feeling inside.

Step four: Repeat until desired fatness has been achieved.

Step five:  Die from hypertension (lol salt).

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on July 08, 2012, 01:47:19 AM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on July 07, 2012, 07:07:23 PM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on July 06, 2012, 12:05:56 PM
A YOUTUBE VIDEO WHOSE HOUR HAS COME AT LAST


The best part is that by the standards of the day, Allan Sherman was fat enough to be "the fat comedian". Today, if you want to be "the fat comedian", you have to attain a level of obesity that, less than a hundred years ago, would have made you a circus sideshow freak.

True.

These women look...run of the mill.  :x



Yep.

People used to pay money to stare at people that fat. Now, we can just go to Wal-Mart.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on July 08, 2012, 06:45:49 AM
To be FAT PERSON:

Step one: Develop insatiable appetite for chips and ketchoney (ketchup and honey, don't knock it until you've tried it unless you hate ketchup, then yeah, you won't like it that much).

Step two:  Eat a party size bag of chips in one to two sittings over an average period of less than a day to a day and a half.

Step three:  Stop caring what you look like because there's just too much effort in that and who cares anyway, you definitely don't.  Best to do it in bed, in the dark, while filling that empty feeling inside.

Step four: Repeat until desired fatness has been achieved.

Step five:  Die from hypertension (lol salt).

It's not enough to just eat a lot of fat and starch; you also have to be as physically sedentary as humanly possible. WALK? No way!!!
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


E.O.T.

"a good fight justifies any cause"

Anna Mae Bollocks

Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on July 08, 2012, 09:32:58 PM
Quote from: E.O.T. on July 08, 2012, 07:35:38 PM


HAVE WE

          explored the "red neck turtle burger? http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151260842138438&set=a.428464543437.216550.135370908437&type=1&theater

:horrormirth:

They feed this shit to kids, don't they?

                 THIS IS AMERICA!
                                   \
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Freeky

Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on July 08, 2012, 05:40:10 PM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on July 08, 2012, 06:45:49 AM
To be FAT PERSON:

Step one: Develop insatiable appetite for chips and ketchoney (ketchup and honey, don't knock it until you've tried it unless you hate ketchup, then yeah, you won't like it that much).

Step two:  Eat a party size bag of chips in one to two sittings over an average period of less than a day to a day and a half.

Step three:  Stop caring what you look like because there's just too much effort in that and who cares anyway, you definitely don't.  Best to do it in bed, in the dark, while filling that empty feeling inside.

Step four: Repeat until desired fatness has been achieved.

Step five:  Die from hypertension (lol salt).

It's not enough to just eat a lot of fat and starch; you also have to be as physically sedentary as humanly possible. WALK? No way!!!

I thought that was implied?

Oh, I guess I forgot to put that in there. :lol:

ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞

Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on July 08, 2012, 05:40:10 PM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on July 08, 2012, 06:45:49 AM
To be FAT PERSON:

Step one: Develop insatiable appetite for chips and ketchoney (ketchup and honey, don't knock it until you've tried it unless you hate ketchup, then yeah, you won't like it that much).

Step two:  Eat a party size bag of chips in one to two sittings over an average period of less than a day to a day and a half.

Step three:  Stop caring what you look like because there's just too much effort in that and who cares anyway, you definitely don't.  Best to do it in bed, in the dark, while filling that empty feeling inside.

Step four: Repeat until desired fatness has been achieved.

Step five:  Die from hypertension (lol salt).

It's not enough to just eat a lot of fat and starch; you also have to be as physically sedentary as humanly possible. WALK? No way!!!

Step one: What kind of chips go best with ketchoney? I lurve ketchup.
Step two: CHECK
Step three: CHECK, still don't give a shit in bed (aw, Freeky  :sad:)
Step four: GAINED 5 LBS, 200 TO GO
Step five: WEEEEEEOOOOOOO!

Sedentary as humanly possible: CHECK

I GOT THIS.
P E R   A S P E R A   A D   A S T R A

Freeky

BBQ is bestest. I could eat that stuff forever.

Also is you have any, put a tiny bit OS liquid smoke in that shit.

Anna Mae Bollocks

Quote from: Net on July 09, 2012, 08:12:23 AM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on July 08, 2012, 05:40:10 PM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on July 08, 2012, 06:45:49 AM
To be FAT PERSON:

Step one: Develop insatiable appetite for chips and ketchoney (ketchup and honey, don't knock it until you've tried it unless you hate ketchup, then yeah, you won't like it that much).

Step two:  Eat a party size bag of chips in one to two sittings over an average period of less than a day to a day and a half.

Step three:  Stop caring what you look like because there's just too much effort in that and who cares anyway, you definitely don't.  Best to do it in bed, in the dark, while filling that empty feeling inside.

Step four: Repeat until desired fatness has been achieved.

Step five:  Die from hypertension (lol salt).

It's not enough to just eat a lot of fat and starch; you also have to be as physically sedentary as humanly possible. WALK? No way!!!

Step one: What kind of chips go best with ketchoney? I lurve ketchup.
Step two: CHECK
Step three: CHECK, still don't give a shit in bed (aw, Freeky  :sad:)
Step four: GAINED 5 LBS, 200 TO GO
Step five: WEEEEEEOOOOOOO!

Sedentary as humanly possible: CHECK

I GOT THIS.

Dude, are you trying to bulk up, or die? I know skinnyass people who ended up having to get their arteries Roto-RooteredTM.

I'd tell you to get into bodybuilding or something but they push a bunch of shitty "supplements".

BE FUCKING SKINNY. SKINNY IS HAWT. ROCK STARS ARE FUCKING SKINNY.
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

East Coast Hustle

Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

Freeky

I'm with ECH on this one to a point.

Also my phone wants to change "ech " to "echelons".  :lulz:

East Coast Hustle

Well yeah, morbid obesity isn't hawt either, but from a purely personal preference standpoint people need to have enough meat on them to stand up to what I'm dishing out.
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"