Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Two vast and trunkless legs of stone => Topic started by: LMNO on December 28, 2010, 08:55:44 PM

Title: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: LMNO on December 28, 2010, 08:55:44 PM
We're the Social People. People friending people. Informing our friends with how many they are. What they are. A numbers game. The more friends, the luckier they should feel to be one of those people. The group everybody wants to be part of. Your friends. Your people. The people that should know you're walking your dog. Instantly. Directly connected via the Web. Close to you. Just a few sticky strands away. Closer than would be possible or comfortable in reality. Our Tubes provide their nourishment. Always and everywhere.

We're the FARMVILLE people.  We're the people that farm your time.  Because you weren't doing anything with it anyway, right?  We make everything happy, even stoop-labor sharecropping.  Because if you can't BE a farmer, you can FEEL like one.  It's like the old days, only without all that annoying productivity.  We'd like to take you back to a simpler time, when farming took only a few hours a day.  Who are we?

We're the FOURSQUARE people.  We know where you are, we know who you're with.  We can track you within a three meter radius.  We know when you've left your phone at home, and we know that you shouldn't be taking that right on red.  We know you're cheating on your wife, and we can track you from work to the porn shop on 86th street to home.  We can locate you, your family, and your pets.  Who are we?

We're the 3G people, the network people.  You're in our phone network, checking your social network, staying perfectly still in that fragile overstretched web.  Can't struggle or it'll break, can't revolt or you're just falling.  We are contact, we are social livelihood, and as far as you know we always have been.  Your kids have only ever known it this way and you can't remember when it wasn't.  You can't remember a phone call as something you did for an activity instead of something you did while doing something else.  You can't remember agreeing to meet at a specific time and place in advance of leaving your house, can't remember planning.  Who are we?

We're the people who give you what you need.  E-warmth.  E-Friends.  A place to put up all the private details of your life for the world to see.  Think of it this way:  Before, you had to go to great pains for strangers to get pictures and details about your children, and now you can do it in just minutes a day!  In your grandfather's day, stalkers and pedos were really hard to come by, but now you can have them all with just the click of a mouse, thanks to our state of the art technology and utter lack of annoying ethics!  Who are we?

Who's Big Brother?  

Not us.  We just provide the service.  That's what we do.  Sure you might have to look at a few tiny adds, but those are easy to ignore.  In fact, tell us if you don't liek them.  We'll find some better ones for you.  

You chose to use the service.  You wanted to.  You thought it looked fun.  
Have a weird view, or don't like somethign that's happeneing?  Please log in, post an update about it!  We're the people that provide the milieu.  Jsut so you can play with it.  Jsut so we can watch you play.  

We're the line you follow.  Routes are hard and streets are confusing, especially because they're the last damn thing you had to think about dynamically.  There's a bright green line on the same screen that has your friends' smiling faces.  Just keep on that line.  You don't need to choose your own route and if you can't manage to do it we'll fix that line for you to follow again.  Don't stray, and give us your rapt attention.  There are beautiful things out the windows and relaxing daydreams to be had that'll only serve to get you irrevocably lost.  Then you're in a right fiasco because all the faces not on our screen are out to get you and none of them know the way even if you asked because they're following their own lines.  Listen to the voice that comes with the line.  It'll make you feel less alone.  Who are we?

edit by 000: you copied a spelling mistake from OB (jsut/just), figured it'd be easier to just go and correct it than post about it.
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 28, 2010, 09:00:36 PM
1.  We need more.

2.  Record your bit and get it to me.  (mp3 preferred).

3.  I will compile it and add video, credits, and a tip of the hat to Michael Peppe.
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: Richter on December 28, 2010, 09:20:42 PM
We're the web 3.0 people. We'll bring you the sights, the sounds, the sneak peak trailers right after this message.  The helpful adds that pop up when you roll over our banner, the seperate windows referring you to products associated with highlighted words.  Any marketing is good marketing, and we'll put good marketing anywhere.  Remember those web pages you used to surf?  Isolated islands and webrings hooked up only by links?  No need to use that now.  We'll show you the things that are the best matches to what you want, right at the tip of your search engine.
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: Eater of Clowns on December 28, 2010, 09:23:49 PM
We're the beginning.  We're upstart, fledgling.  A decade ago you would have laughed if we'd told you where we'd be today.  Just like you'd recoil in horror if we could tell you where we'll be a decade from now.  That isn't how we work, though.  When that day is actually here, you'll hardly blink an eye.  Who are we?
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: Eater of Clowns on December 28, 2010, 09:48:12 PM
Second nature.  Intuition.  Thumb flick tap slide pinch click response.  You can't remember what a learning curve is.  The phrase has a dirty word in it, one that's opposite of accessible and open and easy.  What were we doing, when you thought we were making operation simpler for on-the-go?  We were minimizing down time, time away, your time.  Who are we?
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 28, 2010, 09:48:38 PM
Fuck yeah
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: Adios on December 28, 2010, 10:21:29 PM
This is all good stuff!
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: Jasper on December 28, 2010, 10:23:06 PM
Aagh, makes my skin creep.
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: themenniss on December 28, 2010, 10:30:44 PM
We are your workmates. We get on with things, like we tell ourselves we should, and so should you. Who are we?
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: Kai on December 29, 2010, 01:09:45 AM
I knew what this was going to be when I saw the thread title and I was not disappointed.

Fuck. Yes.
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: Fujikoma on December 29, 2010, 01:31:46 AM
I can't contribute, but I must voice my approval, not that you needed it, anyway. Rock on.
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: Eater of Clowns on December 29, 2010, 06:52:46 AM
Recorded my parts this evening.  Hated them, deleted them.  Will try again tomorrow.
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: Richter on December 29, 2010, 02:37:42 PM
We're the hip people.  The smiling faces in all those club night pictures you see three friends over from your.  The party people.  The ones having the good time at places you'll enver be allowed into, drinking the good drinks.  The noise is never loud to us and the crowd never a problem for us.  We're happy.  If you measure up, we might let you join us.
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: Triple Zero on December 29, 2010, 02:51:24 PM
Fuck Yeah. So glad this took off :D

I shall record my bit as soon as I figure out how to make a relatively noise-free recording. My netbook microphone is pretty crappy, it seems. LMNO, I'm using Audacity--is the Noise Removal effect any good? I suppose I should record 10 sec of silence before or after I start speaking, so that I can use it as a noise profile. Although I can probably borrow a slightly better microphone from somebody, as well :)

Also, Audacity just crashed on me. I remember that was the reason I stopped using it a few years back as well. I suppose it's a Linux issue, as I never heard you complain about it.

Also also, hope you don't mind me correcting your copypaste of Richter's spelling error, I was feeling pedantic, and figured I best correct it before someone copies it further.

Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: Triple Zero on December 29, 2010, 03:04:05 PM
Ok first try, noise removal seems to work pretty well, but I'll borrow a better mic and do better than this:

http://devio.us/~tripzilch/social-people-v1.mp3
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: LMNO on December 29, 2010, 03:04:22 PM
000 Noise removal can work... but you could also add some ambient noise to it, like traffic noises, or a rainstorm, masking the hiss.  If you're getting a hum, move your netbook away from any other thing that has a motor or electronics in it.

Another idea is to record it into your phone, and then dump that into audacity.  (Which does crash, because it's free.)

Basically, use the limitations of your equipment as features.

And no problems with editing my copypasta.
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: Lies on December 29, 2010, 03:06:17 PM
There are still a few "jsuts" that are wrong, btw.
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: Triple Zero on December 29, 2010, 03:12:09 PM
Ok cool. Using my phone to record is a great idea, thanks :) No idea how the sound quality on that will be, but at least it's designed to record speech intelligibly so that's good, indeed no worries about it sounding phoney (heh).

About the ambient noise, since I suppose the tracks are going to be concatenated together, I think it would be better if the ambient noise would be a single track over all the different parts, so I'm just going to record it relatively "clean".

I already tried disconnecting the netbook from the power cable, which reduced the noise so it was at least quiter than my own voice ;)

How's my accent sound? Probably pretty thick, no? :) I think this is probably one of the first times I posted my voice to PD, heh.
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: Phox on December 29, 2010, 03:15:42 PM
Damn it, I just ran about 5 tests with Audacity, and you didn't need my results.  :lulz:

I like your accent.
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: LMNO on December 29, 2010, 03:18:42 PM
Yeah, Trip.  Your voice sounds great.

Incoming PM.
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: President Television on December 29, 2010, 03:32:45 PM
We're the political people.  We are the revolutionaries, the bold dreamers of a new era. We know you work hard, and we know that sometimes you get frustrated at the way the world goes round. You're tired of socialism, right? Aren't you tired of all those bleeding-heart liberals ruining the nation? We want you to know that that's ok. You do have options. You may not be able to afford them right now, but do things our way and you'll have plenty of money to pay for your own roads when the time finally comes. We promise. Who are we?
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: Triple Zero on December 29, 2010, 03:38:17 PM
Quote from: Doktor Phox on December 29, 2010, 03:15:42 PM
Damn it, I just ran about 5 tests with Audacity, and you didn't need my results.  :lulz:

I like your accent.

Thanks :) What kind of tests?

Also, it turned out Audacity was able to recover my recording after the crash when I restarted it, which is why I didn't loose it.

When I get a better mic (or my phone) I'll probably do three takes for every sentence, cause one thing I don't like is that some words are really quiet near their ends. Maybe it's just the way I speak though.
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: Phox on December 29, 2010, 03:41:12 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on December 29, 2010, 03:38:17 PM
Quote from: Doktor Phox on December 29, 2010, 03:15:42 PM
Damn it, I just ran about 5 tests with Audacity, and you didn't need my results.  :lulz:

I like your accent.

Thanks :) What kind of tests?

Also, it turned out Audacity was able to recover my recording after the crash when I restarted it, which is why I didn't loose it.

When I get a better mic (or my phone) I'll probably do three takes for every sentence, cause one thing I don't like is that some words are really quiet near their ends. Maybe it's just the way I speak though.

Noise removal. I found out that my voice gets destroyed by it.  :lulz:
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: Eater of Clowns on December 29, 2010, 04:06:28 PM
Recorded.  Still not a fan of my voice, but eh.  How am I getting these to people?
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: Triple Zero on December 29, 2010, 04:23:13 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on December 29, 2010, 04:06:28 PM
Recorded.  Still not a fan of my voice, but eh.  How am I getting these to people?

Give it to the Sharing People. We share your files. Their files. Everybody's files. Because we believe in FreedomTM. Freedom to share anything to anyone. To you. From you. High quality data. Data that wants to be out there, free, for anyone to pick up and share, sell and re-share. Freedom from the Digital Rights People. Formal people. Boring people. People that painstakingly crafted data. Data they don't want you to have but is rightfully yours. Making money and cramping your space, your machines, to make more money. Creating data. Freezing data. Trimming, cutting and imprisoning data, in order to produce more novel data. Data on you, ordering data so it is theirs again. People that protect their digital rights. Your digital rights. The right to buy more data. Data that doesn't belong to the sharing people, the people that destroy new data before it is even born.
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on December 29, 2010, 04:53:23 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on December 29, 2010, 03:12:09 PM
Ok cool. Using my phone to record is a great idea, thanks :) No idea how the sound quality on that will be, but at least it's designed to record speech intelligibly so that's good, indeed no worries about it sounding phoney (heh).

About the ambient noise, since I suppose the tracks are going to be concatenated together, I think it would be better if the ambient noise would be a single track over all the different parts, so I'm just going to record it relatively "clean".

I already tried disconnecting the netbook from the power cable, which reduced the noise so it was at least quiter than my own voice ;)

How's my accent sound? Probably pretty thick, no? :) I think this is probably one of the first times I posted my voice to PD, heh.

Your accent is cool, and certainly nowhere as thick as other Dutch people on youtube. The only thickly accented word was comfortable, but then again, I tend to pronounce that oddly too (cumfterble)
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: Jenne on December 29, 2010, 06:59:50 PM
We're the righteous people.  We give you all you need to feel you're right.  Think you're not?  That's OK!  We have plenty of bullhorns and misspelled signage that drowns those niggling little fears right away!  Afraid you might still be going to Hell?  Not to worry, we have all you need to feel the right way.  Sunday mornings, Wednesday evenings!  Coffee shops inside your local box church to make YOU feel right at home.  Consume your religion, and you'll get a Grade A bonus of sending the little ones who can't afford it Jesus Camp!  We donate 10% of our profits not to a prophet but to preach and teach to those nasty, sinning neighbors of yours!

Who are we?  We're the people on YOUR side.  Right, wrong, indifferent?  That's ok!  We have a club for you!  You'll always belong, you'll always have a label.  We want you to fit in, fit right and move forward.  Nothing will get done, but you'll still feel like it is!  We'll funnel your tax money into the causes you think you want, and if you don't know what you want, we'll TELL you.  We're the people with answers, answers to questions you didn't even know existed!  Why suffer with education, information and soundbites no one understands anymore?

We will tell you what you need to know, what you need to think, and which group you belong to.  You belong.  You belong with us.

Who are we?
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: Jenne on December 29, 2010, 07:24:21 PM
...did mine suck?  :lulz:
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: Juana on December 29, 2010, 09:18:10 PM
No. I like it :)

Who are we? We are your neighbors. The ones with the nicer car and the nicer house. Our kids are better, our wives prettier, our husbands more handsome, our pets cuter than yours. Your wife wants to have coffee with ours, your husband wants to bullshit with ours over the fence, your kids want to hang out with ours. Hell, you and yours want to be us.
But you can't.

WHO ARE WE? Unobtainable.
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: Roaring Biscuit! on December 29, 2010, 09:49:09 PM
Who are we?

We're the enemies you haven't made yet, we're the friends you don't speak to anymore.  We're the people who used to care for you, and the people who still do.  We're the hippes and vegans and the people who think that making a statement is what matters.  Who are we?

We're the dead flies on your windscreen, the skeletons in your closet.  We're the hedgehog crushed under your car tire when you were 17, and your girlfriend cried for an hour.  We're the wanderlust and the fear.

We're the teachers, parents and friends who never believed in you.  We killed your dreams.  We're the dull pavement that carries you to work.  We're the hollow skyscrapers and the walls of your office cubicles.  We are the pathetic displays of individuality that you think are keeping you sane.  We are everything you hate and fear, and we define everything you love.

We made you, and you will be ours.

Who aren't we.
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 29, 2010, 09:50:23 PM
That's awesome, but we're kinda losing the plot, here.

It's supposed to be an advertisment for what people do to themselves presented as a product, not a threat or a litany of human stupidity.
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: Roaring Biscuit! on December 29, 2010, 09:57:25 PM
Sorry, got a bit carried away with what was in my head :oops:

I'll give an advertisement twist piece a shot in a bit
x
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: Juana on December 29, 2010, 10:05:20 PM
Oops. :( Sorry. 
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: Hoser McRhizzy on December 30, 2010, 12:50:03 AM
Filled with horrible joy, reading this thread.  Especially OP.

Quote from: Eater of Clowns on December 28, 2010, 09:48:12 PM
Second nature.  Intuition.  Thumb flick tap slide pinch click response.  You can't remember what a learning curve is.  The phrase has a dirty word in it, one that's opposite of accessible and open and easy.  What were we doing, when you thought we were making operation simpler for on-the-go?  We were minimizing down time, time away, your time.  Who are we?

Spot on and :mittens:
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: President Television on December 30, 2010, 01:28:52 AM
I'm starting to imagine these read in the voice of Henry Rollins.  :fap:
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 30, 2010, 01:35:58 AM
Quote from: Agent Rhizome on December 30, 2010, 12:50:03 AM
Filled with horrible joy, reading this thread.  Especially OP.

Quote from: Eater of Clowns on December 28, 2010, 09:48:12 PM
Second nature.  Intuition.  Thumb flick tap slide pinch click response.  You can't remember what a learning curve is.  The phrase has a dirty word in it, one that's opposite of accessible and open and easy.  What were we doing, when you thought we were making operation simpler for on-the-go?  We were minimizing down time, time away, your time.  Who are we?

Spot on and :mittens:

OP is actually about 5 different people's crap from Open Bar.
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: Hoser McRhizzy on December 30, 2010, 02:23:29 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 30, 2010, 01:35:58 AM
OP is actually about 5 different people's crap from Open Bar.

Knowing it's collaborative makes it a better read.  Thanks!

That does help explain why 000 edited richter's spelling error in LMNO's post.  :lol:
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: Fujikoma on December 30, 2010, 07:21:16 AM
Henry Rollins has a bad ass radio show on some college radio station out in the desert (santa monica, I think)... Every saturday at, I think, 6pm. I didn't hear it that way as I read it, but I'd like to.
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: LMNO on December 30, 2010, 01:35:21 PM
We're the tweeting people.  The updating people.  The people who desperately need to keep you informed of what is going on, in detailed minu

tia, in 140 characters or less.  To describe to you our dog's dietary habits, from both ends.  And where we are.  And that we just put anoth

er $500 on our credit cards, almost maxed it out, ; - )  And to tell you exactly what we think about the latest reality show where desperate w

omen whose best days have passed them by in exchange for silicon and imitation designer handbags suck up the brackish residue of celebrity in

an attempt to salvage their long-ago abandoned hopes for love and stability, but are ultimately ground down into hair-pulling caricatures th

at only make a mockery of your struggles to get through an ordinary day without eating the barrel of your grandfather's service revolver.  LOL

Who are we?
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: LMNO on December 30, 2010, 05:28:28 PM
Looks like I killed the thread.  Sorry.
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: Richter on December 30, 2010, 05:31:24 PM
That's awe.
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 30, 2010, 05:33:37 PM
Holy.

Fuck.
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: Adios on December 30, 2010, 05:35:46 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on December 30, 2010, 05:28:28 PM
Looks like I killed the thread.  Sorry.

It just frightened me.
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: LMNO on December 30, 2010, 05:35:56 PM
It kind of gained it's own momentum at the end, there.
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 30, 2010, 05:37:01 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on December 30, 2010, 05:35:56 PM
It kind of gained it's own momentum at the end, there.

"Brackish residue of celebrity" and the service revolver thing were fucking AMAZING.
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: Richter on December 30, 2010, 05:42:38 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on December 30, 2010, 05:35:56 PM
It kind of gained it's own momentum at the end, there.

When you record this, it needs to be started all prosaic and normal, then get taken to the WALL.  Seriously.  Slam this one up against the fridge like it's wearing a little french maid outfit.
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: LMNO on December 30, 2010, 05:48:03 PM
I was planning on putting in little bursts of static between each tweet.
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 30, 2010, 05:49:00 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on December 30, 2010, 05:48:03 PM
I was planning on putting in little bursts of static between each tweet.

Both.
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: AFK on December 30, 2010, 06:04:05 PM
Yes to everything said. 
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: Fujikoma on December 30, 2010, 06:07:08 PM
I'd like to hear this when it is finished.
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: Gray Jester on December 31, 2010, 12:08:18 AM
Who are we?

We are the next wave.  We make the new world possible, let corporations downsize their unnecessary labor and become more streamlined in the new century.  We lay the cable, we run the pipes, we make you obsolete.  Welcome to the new connected world!  Hope you measure up!
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: Fujikoma on December 31, 2010, 03:10:55 PM
Mine probably sucks, and I hope I didn't rip anyone off writing this, I know I said I couldn't contribute (and likely, still can't) but, here goes:

Who are we? We are the battered, bitter shells. We are the hollow product of broken glass homes. We keep quite while the world goes by. When you pass by you do not see us, when you look we are not there. We find our homes in cold, dark corners. We are the coming storm.

Who are we? We are the children of tomorrow, of yesterday, but never of today. The outcasts, the unfriendly people. You see us when we act out, and you torment us when we do not. The sad people, the broken people, and deservedly so. We continue the cycle, we are the bitter fruit that stings the tongue.

Who are we? We are the product of consumerism, the inadvertent outcome of nepotism, the slimy shades in back alleyways that melt into the eaves. We watch you while you are fortunate, we drag you down, and we take from you when you fall. We are the chosen fools, disciples of the madness you created, to which you show unconcern. We are a debt someone never paid, an obligation unfulfilled, this is who we are.
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: AFK on December 31, 2010, 03:23:00 PM
Who are we?  We're the people waiting for you to go first.  We talk a good game but never throw down.  We praise your good ideas and exhalt your plans.  We'll be right there behind you!  Well, actually, right after we wash our hair.  Then we're right there with you!  Oh, well, no, we have to renew our gym membership, I mean, it's gonna be a new year, we're going to hit the stair climbers for sure this year!  Then, we'll be ripped and ready to fight the good fight along side you...oh wait, we just remembered we need to clean up the hard drive.  That shouldn't take too long, and then, holy fuck are we ready to rumble!!!  Well, we probably should get a new bottle of asprin first.  We might get a headache while trying to fight The Man.  Go on ahead, we'll be there eventually, really, trust us, who are we? 
Title: Re: WHO ARE WE? 2011
Post by: Roaring Biscuit! on January 01, 2011, 05:32:25 AM
Welcome to the future hun!

Who are we?  We're the people you are, only better!

We're aspirations baby!  We're a society built on something for nothing, and let ME tell YOU, it's great.

And somehow thats important, that we're honest with each other, but let me tell you, my friend there is science to show that the dishonest doe better.  For themselves, for their kids, for everyone they ever had the courage to love.

We're the network people, we're the lies you tell.  To make this life more bearable.


You fantastic coward.