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transformed by the corporation

Started by tyrannosaurus vex, September 26, 2014, 05:58:05 PM

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tyrannosaurus vex

This sort of bollocks writes itself when you realize that all they're doing is contorting language to avoid negative terms and connotations.
Evil and Unfeeling Arse-Flenser From The City of the Damned.

Faust

Quote from: V3X on September 27, 2014, 06:37:55 PM
This sort of bollocks writes itself when you realize that all they're doing is contorting language to avoid negative terms and connotations.
They also do it to avoid committing to anything. I asked a manager a yes/no question.
I got a 15 minute spiel about levering opportunities that had nothing to do with the question. I asked again, he got visibly flustered and gave the same waffle. Eventually I just had to walk away.
Sleepless nights at the chateau

tyrannosaurus vex

Quote from: Faust on September 27, 2014, 11:08:32 PM
Quote from: V3X on September 27, 2014, 06:37:55 PM
This sort of bollocks writes itself when you realize that all they're doing is contorting language to avoid negative terms and connotations.
They also do it to avoid committing to anything. I asked a manager a yes/no question.
I got a 15 minute spiel about levering opportunities that had nothing to do with the question. I asked again, he got visibly flustered and gave the same waffle. Eventually I just had to walk away.

At this juncture our primary focus is to effectively pin down the definitions of our goals so we are better able to gain a widespread acceptance of our mission.
Evil and Unfeeling Arse-Flenser From The City of the Damned.

xXRon_Paul_42016Xxx(weed)

Has anyone made a corporatese generator yet?

Eater of Clowns

Quote from: xXRon_Paul_42016Xxx(weed) on September 28, 2014, 12:51:56 AM
Has anyone made a corporatese generator yet?

Yeah like 30+ years ago.

His name is V3x.
Quote from: Pippa Twiddleton on December 22, 2012, 01:06:36 AM
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 07, 2014, 01:18:23 AM
EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

Quote
the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

tyrannosaurus vex

Evil and Unfeeling Arse-Flenser From The City of the Damned.

The Wizard Joseph

Quote from: V3X on September 27, 2014, 06:37:55 PM
This sort of bollocks writes itself when you realize that all they're doing is contorting language to avoid negative terms and connotations.

I had a symbolic parody roll through my head once to describe this sort of calm, willful ignorance. I call it the Ohnoboros. An Orouboros that rather than eating its tail has its head jammed up its arse. Calm and with slack tail.
One similar I think of as the Horrorboros has the impression of awareness of the predicament and panic.
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
- Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

"It's not even chaos anymore. It's BANAL."
- Doktor Hamish Howl

The Wizard Joseph

Quote from: Faust on September 27, 2014, 11:08:32 PM
Quote from: V3X on September 27, 2014, 06:37:55 PM
This sort of bollocks writes itself when you realize that all they're doing is contorting language to avoid negative terms and connotations.
They also do it to avoid committing to anything. I asked a manager a yes/no question.
I got a 15 minute spiel about levering opportunities that had nothing to do with the question. I asked again, he got visibly flustered and gave the same waffle. Eventually I just had to walk away.

I get a lot of this crap too. I am basically a skilled light industrial laborer and work in the Laundry Department of a huge hospital complex. My supervisor has astounded me with his ability to dodge and stall. I have notably unsettled him with my erudition, knowledge of my legal rights, and demonstrated ability to document things. He has learned to rely on me as willing to step up when things get nutty and this gives me quite a bit more leverage than I think he's comfortable with.

That said I DO have some respect for him. It's just that slipperyness seems like an essential survival trait in middle management

You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
- Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

"It's not even chaos anymore. It's BANAL."
- Doktor Hamish Howl

hirley0

#38
http://sos.oregon.gov/voting/Pages/default.aspx
7& i never found the card from the state | about Oct Vote deadline maybe
6^ so i ask her who she was | & was told she spelled her name with A Y
5! I ask for a receipt i got 1 / but was not able to read
4% ANyWay a new lady was there i had never seen B4
3? the next day ?/t {10am i took in my Rent check, for next month
2: i think it came from Brown S/s | & I dropped it in the Apt office for review
1. IT SHOULD SOON BE Oct | i can wait | really? i got a post card from the State
20140928 3:37:51pdT=> READ UP ^

The Wizard Joseph

Quote from: Faust on September 27, 2014, 11:08:32 PM
Quote from: V3X on September 27, 2014, 06:37:55 PM
This sort of bollocks writes itself when you realize that all they're doing is contorting language to avoid negative terms and connotations.
They also do it to avoid committing to anything. I asked a manager a yes/no question.
I got a 15 minute spiel about levering opportunities that had nothing to do with the question. I asked again, he got visibly flustered and gave the same waffle. Eventually I just had to walk away.

I get a lot of this crap too. I am basically a skilled light industrial laborer and work in the Laundry Department of a huge hospital complex. My supervisor has astounded me with his ability to dodge and stall. I have notably unsettled him with my erudition, knowledge of my legal rights, and demonstrated ability to document things. He has learned to rely on me as willing to step up when things get nutty and this gives me quite a bit more leverage than I think he's comfortable with.

That said I DO have some respect for him. It's just that slipperyness seems like an essential survival trait in middle management

You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
- Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

"It's not even chaos anymore. It's BANAL."
- Doktor Hamish Howl

The Wizard Joseph

Sorry about the double msg. Phone still had it in the box and I thought I forgot to send it.
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
- Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

"It's not even chaos anymore. It's BANAL."
- Doktor Hamish Howl

Junkenstein

Quote from: V3X on September 26, 2014, 10:44:26 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on September 26, 2014, 10:21:59 PM
Thank you Vex, a meeting I've got on Monday should be quite entertaining.
Report back with your progress! :lulz:

Quote from: Junkenstein on September 26, 2014, 10:24:09 PM
Oh, I'll probably need:

"I am going to have you beaten by goons"

"Large goons"

"With hammers"

too.

Market realities might dictate that we invest in muscle-based policy enforcement.
The Contractors brought on board to help with this process are physically imposing.
They will also be bringing to the team their considerable expertise in osteo-breakdown tools.

Meeting in an hour. Been looking forward to this all weekend.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

Junkenstein

As promised, I shall now re-communicate the driving factors of todays earlier stakeholder engagement meeting. To best establish our company line in matters, I took along one of my more physically imposing colleagues to best aid in negotiation of a favourable resolution for all concerned parties.

The driving factor for the agenda was that one party was concerned about financial reimbursement based on completed works and lapsed payment schedules. During our fact-find mission to best determine the root cause of the failure, I indicated my colleague was skilled with both conventional and non conventional tools, both within his core disciplines and has been able to extend them to further his professional career. It was established that both my colleague and his work mates are all similarly skilled with a range of familial obligations that require immediate attention. It was further established that to fail to meet this need they would be left time-abundant and live in an information rich society which allows access to names and addresses for a minor charge.

It was further considered that beyond the immediate physical risks at play there were a number of potentially punitive financial measures that could occur which would result in considerable cost to core stakeholders.

After some heated discourse about exact payment dates it was decided that the best course forward would be to leave my colleague in their offices until payments had been confirmed and processed by the relevant departmental heads.



My colleague had a lovely afternoon on his phone while monitoring the progress of the impending payment which was received in full by 3PM.

It is understood that to be preferred for him not to return to their premises though there is a clear agreement that he will return with a team of suitably qualified and experienced operatives should company demands dictate. I have committed to oversee draw up a suitable Plan of work for such an occasion should it arise and the overall nature of the content and indicative diagrams communicated and understood to their senior management team. The required plant and equipment list was briefly discussed and determined to be fiscally nominal and easily disbursed from petty cash.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

LMNO

And then Junk became Prime Minister.



... That's how it works, right?

Junkenstein

No, I need to ergonomically leverage my operatives in to key positions while remaining in overall operational control of the core logistical planning requirements of a coup in progress.


I need more and bigger goons in more places, basically.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.