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Koan Nebula

Started by I_Kicked_Kennedy, June 02, 2013, 02:10:47 AM

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Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on June 06, 2013, 04:47:20 AM
That is not a bad koan, at all! :)
Thanks, I'll try to pop out another over the weekend.
Hope was the thing with feathers.
I smacked it with a hammer until it was red and squashy

LMNO

[requia]
Koans do not have morals, nor are easily understood.
[/requia]

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on June 06, 2013, 06:32:46 PM
[requia]
Koans do not have morals, nor are easily understood.
[/requia]

[nigel]
I didn't say "moral", I said "point".
[/nigel]

Koans typically contain intelligent paradox and aren't just a bunch of words jammed together. They're usually intriguing in a way that leads the reader to ponder them, hence their usefulness for meditation.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

In my mind, the heart of a good koan is the kernel, the tension point around which the koan revolves. If there is no kernel, there is no koan.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


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Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on June 06, 2013, 06:32:46 PM
[requia]
Koans do not have morals, nor are easily understood.
[/requia]
So, more cryptic then.
Hope was the thing with feathers.
I smacked it with a hammer until it was red and squashy

Left

The teachings of Master Wu #2

"Master Wu!"  said the little boy, " My dad says you're nothing but a crazy old man!"
Master Wu raised his eyebrows. "Oh?"
"Remember that all things are true in some sense, false in some sense, and meaningless in some sense?"
The little boy nodded. "Of course, Master."
"Well," said Master Wu, setting back in his trash-picked recliner,"In some sense it is true that I am old, and that I live here in my subsidized efficiency apartment, getting a disability check every month from the government."
"But crazy?" said Master Wu gently.
The boy settled down on the thriftstore couch, as he sensed a Teaching was about to be given.
Master Wu sipped his coffee, and spoke.

"Let us consider your father," Master Wu said.
"He has a fine house, a beautiful new car every other year, rental properties, a vacation home in Florida, right?"  The little boy nodded.
"Your father works many, many hours keeping his rental properties in order, and working full time to pay for the lovely house and the car, yes?"
"Yes, my father has to work very hard to keep up on the bills." the little boy replied.
"Your father often seems very tired."
"Well, yes, he has to work all the time, of course he is tired." the boy replied.
"I see," said Master Wu.
"He owns all those things.  All those things own him."

The little boy looked very puzzled.

"You see," said Master Wu, "I own myself."
Hope was the thing with feathers.
I smacked it with a hammer until it was red and squashy

Wolfgang Absolutus

Young Lanis sought out the great sage Diogenes so that he might become more wise.
Finding the sage sunning by the river Lanis asked: "How can I achieve enlightenment?"
Diogenes pondered this for a few moments and drifted off back to sleep.
Young Lanis still patient for the master's words waited a few minutes and then woke the sage.
"Please master I must know. How can I achieve enlightenment and become as wise as you?"
Diogenes, still feeling a bit tired yawned and went back to sleep without saying another word.
Young Lanis became distressed and awoke the sage after a few more minutes with gentle shake saying in a voice that was only modrately whiny,
"Master I beg of you, share your knowledge with a humble young man such as my self. What can I do to gain your wisdom?"
Without opening his eyes Diogenes said in a serious tone "lay your mother, kill your father, then castrate yourself." He then promptly rolled over away from Lanis and went back to sleep.
Young Lanis becoming hostile as is expected of many of his age and practically fuming shook Diogenes awake one more time, stood over him, and roared,
"Why must you treat me this way you old dog. You refuse to answer my questions and instead treat me with utmost disrespect. Go rot in a hole you worthless sack of crap! Who needs your foolish wisdom anyway!"
Diogenes opened one eye and a smirk came quickly to his lips as he said, "That's the rub. Now get the hell out of my sun."
Thinking and Breathing are my main occupations.

Cramulus

Golden Rod approached the monk Nopants.

"Master Nopants, what can I learn by observing Primal Chaos?"

The master held up a pen. "Do you know what this is?"

"Yes, it's a pen."

The master said. "I use it to scratch my balls."

Junkenstein

Quote from: Cramulus on July 17, 2013, 05:05:13 PM
Golden Rod approached the monk Nopants.

"Master Nopants, what can I learn by observing Primal Chaos?"

The master held up a pen. "Do you know what this is?"

"Yes, it's a pen."

The master said. "I use it to scratch my balls."

That's actually fucking hilarious and quite deep.

5/5, would Koan again.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Cramulus on July 17, 2013, 05:05:13 PM
Golden Rod approached the monk Nopants.

"Master Nopants, what can I learn by observing Primal Chaos?"

The master held up a pen. "Do you know what this is?"

"Yes, it's a pen."

The master said. "I use it to scratch my balls."

:lulz:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Cramulus

"There once was a man who said though,

It seems that I know that I know,

What I'd like to see,

Is the I that knows me,

When I know that I know that I know."


                          ---Alan Watts

Mistre

"To be enlightened, one must hold no attachments.", said quite proudly one student to a newcomer.

"Isn't the desire of enlightment an attachment?", asked the master absentmindedly, as he walked nearby.

An awkward silence echoed through the classroom.

Uber Supreme Poobah of Pope-Groping™

He who acknowledges his own inability to answer a question is wise, he who does not seek one is stupid.

Mistre

Less and less people came to the classroom. At the end, there were only 2.

"If it keeps going like that, the dojo is going to close, master!", said one.

"Huh. I thought you were the master.", said the other.

Both of them starred at each other, trying to see if that was just a test, or the truth.

3 months later, word on the street was that a new dojo had opened, and it had 2 masters.
Uber Supreme Poobah of Pope-Groping™

He who acknowledges his own inability to answer a question is wise, he who does not seek one is stupid.

Mistre

"When I will become a master?", asked the student.

The master then held a rock with one of his hands, and showed it to his student.

"When you get this rock from my hands, you will be a master.", said he. And then threw the rock through the window. The rock landed in the back of a speeding truck, and was carried away.

The student stared at the master, and the master smiled.

"Well?", said the master.
Uber Supreme Poobah of Pope-Groping™

He who acknowledges his own inability to answer a question is wise, he who does not seek one is stupid.

hirley0