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GASM: Invent Your Own Microreligion

Started by Cramulus, November 16, 2010, 02:57:59 PM

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Telarus

Telarus, KSC,
.__.  Keeper of the Contradictory Cephalopod, Zenarchist Swordsman,
(0o)  Tender to the Edible Zen Garden, Ratcheting Metallic Sex Doll of The End Times,
/||\   Episkopos of the Amorphous Dreams Cabal

Join the Doll Underground! Experience the Phantasmagorical Safari!

Jasper


Cramulus

(intro updated ... I wanted to help expand this as a Call to Atheists, to encourage them to experiment with irreligion.)



Introduction



Dear Explorer:

Religious Freedom is our greatest right. You've been sitting by the sidelines watching as other people act like maniacs in the name of something that probably isn't true. And doesn't it look they're having a blast? Why let them have all the fun?

We live in a postmodern world, one dominated by multiple narratives. Many of these greater narratives - such as science, religion, and orthodox consumerism - are internally consistent, self-reinforcing, and mutually exclusive. Most individuals operate under the jurisdiction of a reality tunnel, a set of beliefs and attitudes which filter incoming information to create a coherent worldview. But why limit oneself to a single reality tunnel? We purport to offer you a glimpse at both madness and enlightenment. This book will guide you through an experiment in belief that will leave you simultaneously bewildered and fascinated. You won't know what's to believe, AND YOU'LL LOVE IT.

Every few days, roll on the Religion Randomizer and select a new reality tunnel. Read the entry for that tunnel and imagine that it is true. And not just true, but the best description of the universe -- with powerful implications for how you should behave on a day to day, minute to minute basis.

Select a focus: an object, symbol, mantra, alarm, or other reminder of your new short-term world view. At least five times per day, meditate on your focus and get back into the headspace in which your new religion is True. Embrace it. Wallow in it. Think derivative thoughts. Let it steer your actions. Enjoy it while it lasts. In a few days, you'll roll again and you'll be somebody new.







I suggest that an intelligent person is not concerned with capital-T Truth. A rational thinker can shift his or her mind into different reality tunnels, and is able to perceive different truths for different contexts. I think it takes more willpower and discipline to be flexible than rigid. And it's better to evaluate truths in terms of how useful they are, and realize that this quality may shift over time.

We have the freedom to believe things that are completely wrong. I say don't just think about it! Try it out, see how it feels, cast it aside later. What's the harm in being "wrong" for a few days if you learn something from that orientation? A short term religion is a great way to expand your consciousness, and get a taste of postmodern madness while you're at it.

Be attached to nothing, treat everything like it is a "straw dog" you can throw away later.

Cramulus


Placid Dingo

expanded
QuoteCressing

We understand much of our life through the use of narratives. We develop stories about our lives that help us define who we are and what we do. 'The day I realised I was an atheist', 'the first time I felt fear', 'the reason I like tea', 'the day I met the one for me', 'I used to be a liberal until...' and so on, are examples of life events arranged in ways that represent narratives. They are stories we use to help explain elements of our personality. When a story is so repeatable and important to an aspect of our selves, ideologies or beliefs that it is indispensable to that element, we call it a mythology. These terms are not implicative of an absence of truth, just suggestive of truth arranged in specific patterns.

Cressing is a three pronged approach to using narratives in conscious life.

1: Synthesising. This is about making sense of your life by identifying the events that have brought you to where you are now. Cressing assumes all patterns/narratives to be essentially constructions, so developing partially consciously fictional narratives is appropriate. For example, I help the poor to pay off the kindness my late friend showed to me when I was poor, before he died. These elements (the friend etc) may be true, but there may be assumptions or constructions made about the particular significance of these events that is conciously engineered to develop a narrative.

2: Following patterns. Cressing promotes the awareness of these synthesised patterns and using these patterns to inform choices in everyday life. This puts the 'narrator' in a position where they are actively constructing their own story. With our example; instead of just helping the poor we look at our role in the story as the protagonist. What aspects of our personality should we develop to maximise our success in this role? What opportunities should we look out for? What elements of my everyday life could be better expressed in a way that enhances my chosen narrative?

3: Using 'Narrative Tools'.
Cressing requires individuals to have a certain awareness of the choices in their lives. Most people can't move effortlessly between narrative strands because we don't all have a wealth of experience dealing with all situations. Personally, when I can back to the city, I had to talk to every person who tried to sign me up to a charity. Now, after being in the city, I can brush them off more easily. The narrative tools are intended to broaden ones life experiences and give opportunities of constructing real time narratives.

Some more information is developed here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1KPjMWHZm5tBJm6t_bc0olEBApSwxJ1NSz-ZpvYIeMhM/edit?hl=en&authkey=CL7JhJQK

I've enjoyed doing this because it's made me think about my own ideas in terms that I wasn't anticipating.
Haven't paid rent since 2014 with ONE WEIRD TRICK.

Epimetheus

Quote from: Cramulus on November 24, 2010, 02:31:14 PM
I wanted to help expand this as a Call to Atheists
Good point. They should at least get some fun out of the concepts they reject. :D

Quote
Be attached to nothing, treat everything like it is a "straw dog" you can throw away later.
Once again, Discordianism as "Taoism in a clown suit".
Anyway, it's very important, non-attaching. It's always possible to get swept up in the Belief System one was originally just playing with, and lose all "objectivity" or awareness. Lord knows I've been totally convinced by every political philosophy in the book at one point or another.  :lol:
POST-SINGULARITY POCKET ORGASM TOAD OF RIGHTEOUSNESS

Epimetheus

Quote from: Cramulus on November 24, 2010, 03:46:01 AM
http://cramul.us/2010/06/the-world-is-over-and-i-am-the-only-survivor/

not so much a religion as a batshit worldview

Dude. Props.
[/slang]
Occasionally I'll (in my mind) play the role of an E.T. inhabiting a human body to explore the planet, or of a person from an alternate Earth, etc. It inevitably brings a certain sense of wonder about the world - a sense of wonder that should we should always have in day-to-day life, E.T. or not.
POST-SINGULARITY POCKET ORGASM TOAD OF RIGHTEOUSNESS

Cramulus

this may help:

http://www.squidoo.com/microreligion

The case for microreligions

The big brand religions in the United States are mature mass brands. They are pitched to mainstream America and not doing a very good job of gaining (or even holding onto) marketshare.
If you are like me, you seek spirituality, but just do not find it within the boundaries of the mainstream religions. In fact, most Americans agree. Only a small percentage of people go to church regularly in the US. In this market of big stodgy religious brands, why not encourage some nimble newcomers?

Barriers to entry are really low (as you will see below). It's fairly simply to set up a new religion in the US. I'm not asking you to set up a huge religion to compete with the big boys - I want you to set up a MICRO-RELIGION. Something small. Something that you believe in. Use the internet to find other people who believe too.

Many of us have felt the calling. For some it is a faint whisper that there is a better way. Other people get flaming bushes or tablets of stone dropped from the sky. However your deity chooses to communicate with you, I encourage you to listen. And to do something. Create a micro-religion and share the good word.


How to get started

Document your calling. Set down what your religion is going to stand for. Check out the religion starter questions below for help.

# Create a Lens and link it to this one. Welcome to the brave new world!

Spread the word. Talk with friends, comment on blogs, write to the editor.

Starter questions
Who/What do you worship?

Are there any restrictions on who can be a member of your religion's hierarchy? Are men/women/children/cats/dogs allowed to lead?

Are there any texts that your religion thinks are 'holy'?

Is there a ritual or ceremony required to join your religion?

Will you offer marriage ceremonies? If so, who can marry in your religion? [More details later on how to get licensed to marry people]

Is there a ritual or ceremony performed at the death of a member of your religion?

Does your religion have a charitable purpose?

Do members of your religion mark themselves in any way to make it easy to recognize them? Jewelry/costumes/tattoos/hairstyles

If a member of your religion does not adhere to the requirements of your religion, what will happen?

Does your religion advocate the existance of an 'afterlife'? Is it only for members of your religion or can anyone get there?

Does your religion believe that particular days of the week, month, year, century are special?

Does your religion mark passage to adulthood for boys/girls in a specific way?

geekdad

#38


The Cult of Sleep

Who/What do you worship?

Sleep is the only time a mortal can ever achieve divinity, this time should be considered as the highest degree of sacred and a pursuit above all other things. Morpheus is the god of the cult, and should be worshipped as a hero and champion for humankind.

QuoteZeus called a called meeting of the gods on Mount Olympus asking how the Olympians could make their power greater when dealing with humans. Hera called out that she had an idea, but it required all of the Olympians to work together for short periods of time, no small feat. Her idea was to create short periods of time where mortals were tricked into thinking they were gods themselves, but while they were being tricked they were actually trapped in a state where they would be most vulnerable. Many of the Olympians liked the idea, especially Ares and Aphrodite. However there was one mortal watching this meeting, Morpheus. It is lost to antiquity how Morpheus was able to climb Mount Olympus and witness such a meeting, but after watching this conspiracy he decended the mountian and formed a plan

As the time came for Morpheus to sleep for the first time he felt very tired and slow, but he had hidden a tincture (which is now known as morphine, named after Morpheus) made by the Graeae to put the god themselves in the same helpless state mortals were being put in. Morpheus fought and fought sleep until messengers of the Olympians came. Morpheus put them to sleep by trickery and tincture laiden drink. This went on for a long time until Morpheus had put all the messengers alseep.

After 5 weeks of this the Olympians sought their messengers as nobody was going alseep and thus they could not influence mortals while they were alseep and vulnerable. They quickly found their messengers at the feet of Morpheus and when they saw a mere mortal had done this they asked how. Morpheus told them everything and said that even he knew a secret that the Olympians did not, as the gods wanted mortals to sleep again they offered him domain of sleep and dreams.

From then on Morpheus gives mortals true divinity in dreams (not just the illusion), but the gods are able to do what they will while mortals are asleep.

Are there any restrictions on who can be a member of your religion's hierarchy? Are men/women/children/cats/dogs allowed to lead?

There are no restrictions, cats and lazy breeds of dogs are considered more  divine. There are no leaders all are divine when alseep.

Are there any texts that your religion thinks are 'holy'?

Any personal dream journal. Lying in these can lead to Morpheus removing the adherant's divinity.

Is there a ritual or ceremony required to join your religion?

Followers must keep a dream journal, they cannot write in it more then 10 minutes after waking and cannot read from it more then 10 min before sleeping.

Reading somebody else's journal is considered ok only if permitted and only if 10 min before you yourself fall asleep.

The one divine ceremony consists of doing small amounts of Morphine in order to fall sleep.

Will you offer marriage ceremonies?

No

Is there a ritual or ceremony performed at the death of a member of your religion?

The follower's journal is read aloud in total or select passages.

Does your religion have a charitable purpose?

Not for society at large.

Do members of your religion mark themselves in any way to make it easy to recognize them? Jewelry/costumes/tattoos/hairstyles

A cresent moon with a 3 star overlay is the symbol (actual images coming sometime)

If a member of your religion does not adhere to the requirements of your religion, what will happen?

They may no longer be able to dream, or if they dream the dreams will be recurring.

Does your religion advocate the existance of an 'afterlife'? Is it only for members of your religion or can anyone get there?

This is not addressed and is of a great debate.

Does your religion believe that particular days of the week, month, year, century are special?

Monthly the second Monday and the last Saturday monthly are considered holy.


Does your religion mark passage to adulthood for boys/girls in a specific way?

No




And that's all I got so far.
Making you think you're crazy is a billion dollar industry.
If they could sell sanity in a bottle
They'd be charging for compressed air,
And marketing healthcare.

Don Coyote

I am really tempted to make a serious codification.

Phox


The Wizard

Bump.

Sorry it took me this long to finish this.

Mercenary Agnosticism (sponsored by Caduceus Enterprises)

What do you get from your faith? I mean, what real, conclusively provable benefits do you get from worshiping your deity? More likely than not, nothing. Doesn't matter whether you're Monotheistic, Polytheistic, or even Animistic, you probably don't get a thing in exchange for you worship. You pray, follow commandments, and slaughter a sacrificial goat on holidays, all of which goes to the benefit of the Heavenly conglomerates. Isn't time you got some bang for your belief?

Well, we at Caduceus have taken that idea and turned it into something that any Gods fearing American can relate to; a business. Here at Caduceus we pair up the consumer with a deity that understands their needs.

Here are some of our most popular clients, gods who are dedicated to the well being of their cult.

Dionysus-easy to please, every glass of wine or keg of beer you drink supports Dionysus. Followers of Dionysus can be promised protection from coyote ugly (both the movie and the event),  good fortune while intoxicated, and no memory of the humiliating things you did while out of your head. (Disclaimer: Dionysus is not responsible for any criminal charges that come as a result of worship. Remember to worship responsibly and with a designated driver)

Quetzalcoatl- Special Offer! Three miracles of your choice for every human sacrifice dedicated to the Feathered Serpent.

Disney-Conversion is as easy as turning on the television and turning off all higher brain function.



Insanity we trust.

The Wizard

#42
Basic idea is that, going off the common fantasy novel conceit that gods need worship to survive, why is that they get all the prayers and animal sacrifices for free?

So, shop for gods. See what they have power over, see what they want in the way of worship, and try them out. But keep in mind that this is a business arrangement. If the deity doesn't deliver then you can terminate the relationship.

A bit of insider advice, try the dumb gods first. Thor is usually too drunk to care about what you ask him to do.

Oh, and if anyone wants to mess with this, go right ahead.
Insanity we trust.

Lenin McCarthy

Cult of Non-Understanding

Who/What do you worship?

Non-understanding (not misunderstanding) is when you have no idea what is happening or how to deal with it. The Cult preaches that non-understanding is the only way to salvation, and that misunderstanding and understanding are the greatest Sins of all.

Are there any restrictions on who can be a member of your religion's hierarchy? Are men/women/children/cats/dogs allowed to lead?

There are restrictions, but nobody can understand them. Therefore practically all types of creatures are allowed to convert to the religion. High Priests/Priestesses of Non-Understanding are ordained by nobody in particular at random every once in a while.

Are there any texts that your religion thinks are 'holy'?


The Cult of Non-Understanding's holy book is L'Œil et l'esprit by the French philosopher Maurice Merleau-Ponty. This is because the founder of the Cult got it as a birthday present from his schizophrenic grandfather when he was 10 and couldn't understand a word of it.

Is there a ritual or ceremony required to join your religion?

1. Read L'Œil et l'esprit.
2. Write a short text where you give your interpretation of the book.
3. Let a High Priest/Priestess of Non-Understanding read the text you have written.
4. If the text shows an adequate amount of Non-Understanding, you are admitted to the Cult.
5. If there are no High Priests/Priestesses in your area (or you just don't bother finding one), become one yourself and admit yourself to the Cult without ever reading the holy book.

Will you offer marriage ceremonies? If so, who can marry in your religion? [More details later on how to get licensed to marry people]

No.

Is there a ritual or ceremony performed at the death of a member of your religion?

No.

Does your religion have a charitable purpose?

All donations go to hiring people to teach particle physics to first graders.

Do members of your religion mark themselves in any way to make it easy to recognize them? Jewelry/costumes/tattoos/hairstyles

No.

If a member of your religion does not adhere to the requirements of your religion, what will happen?

The member will be excommunicated, but if the ex-member then answers by saying "I don't understand" he/she/it will be de-excommunicated.

Does your religion advocate the existance of an 'afterlife'? Is it only for members of your religion or can anyone get there?

When a Cult member dies, he/she/it will reach Perfection, a divine state of complete Non-Understanding. Non-Cult members will fall downwards for all eternity in an eternal blackness.

Does your religion believe that particular days of the week, month, year, century are special?

The first Monday in June all years that end with 4: Syd Barrett Lyric Interpretation Day
Every second Tuesday: Szygysyz Miahiskh Day. Holiday of no significance or meaning.
Every third Sunday: Ljefgggja Day. Holiday of no significance or meaning.

Does your religion mark passage to adulthood for boys/girls in a specific way?


No.

Cramulus

Quote from: Lenin McCarthy on December 27, 2010, 01:48:04 PM
Non-understanding (not misunderstanding) is when you have no idea what is happening or how to deal with it. The Cult preaches that non-understanding is the only way to salvation, and that misunderstanding and understanding are the greatest Sins of all.

interesting... Can you elucidate the difference between non-understanding and misunderstanding?  or is that one of those things where if I get it, I'm doing it wrong?