Tom Bombadil mystery solved?

[Cain]

This is one for the LOTR fans:

http://flyingmoose.org/tolksarc/theories/bombadil.htm

At last, the mystery of Tom Bombadil's identity has been solved.

Ready?

Tom Bombadil and the Witch-king of Angmar are the same person.

Full evidence at the link.

[Cainad (dec.)]

Epileptic trees!

Pretty good points though. How do they account for the fact that the Nazgul are invisible, or nearly so? And where does Goldberry fit into this?

[Richter]

Interesting, but it doesn't explain why Tom gave the ring BACK to Frodo (after accepting it, finding it uninteresting, and pulling a few disappearing tricks with it.)  If it WAS the Witch - King, he would have taken it and flayed the fellowship alive with dark magics.  Or at least given them a fake back and sent them off.  (Which has even MORE hillarious implications.  Sauron got the ring, then lost the war and faked his own destruction as cover for his TRUE SCHEME.)

I always liked the idea that Bombadil was Iluvatar in disguise.  

[Cramulus]

Truer words were never spoken:

[Cainad (dec.)]

From that same site:

All golden Twinkies do not glitter,
Not all consumed Twinkies are tossed;
The old that is preserved does not wither,
Their yellow-dyed color is not lost.

In the stomach a fire shall be woken,
A Tums from the bottle shall spring,
Renewed shall be revulsion unbroken,
Hostess cakes again are the thing.

[Payne]

[14:12] <Payne> LALALALA I AM TOM BOMBADIL WELCOME TO MY FOREST OF FAGGOTRY
[14:14] <Cainad> YES
[14:14] <Payne> I want to spend a day as Tom Bombadil now
[14:14] <Payne> like, IRL
[14:14] <Payne> it would require careful planning

[Richter]

"Tim! Tim!  Benzedrine!
Hash! Boo! Valvoline!
First! Second Neutral! Park!
High thee hence you lefty narc!"

-The Harvard Lampoon, "Bored of the Rings", Tim Benzedrine's song


"Slender as a speeding freak,
Spaced out groovy tripper.
Oh mush brained maid whose mind decays
With every pill I slip her
Oh mind - blowed fair
Farinah head
Friend of birds and beetles
Oh skinny maid whose finger nails
Are hypodermic needles
Oh tanlged locks and painted bod
Pupils big as eggs.
Oh flower maid who never bathes
Or even shaves her legs
Oh softened mind that wanders
Wherever moon above may lead
Oh how I dig thee Hashberry,
From noose to stinky love - beads!"

-Same, Tim' song to Hashberry

[Cain]

Or at least given them a fake back and sent them off.  (Which has even MORE hillarious implications.  Sauron got the ring, then lost the war and faked his own destruction as cover for his TRUE SCHEME.)

This fits in with Michael Aquino's theory that the Elves and Numenoreans were villains with good publicity, and that the true heros of Middle Earth were Morgoth and Sauron, who saved the orcs and trolls from their genocidal savagery.  Switching the ring bought Sauron time to move to the far eastern stretches of Middle Earth, leaving the fractions of forces he used during the War of the Ring as a vanguard, to seek his escape and that of the vast population of Mordor.

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

Or at least given them a fake back and sent them off.  (Which has even MORE hillarious implications.  Sauron got the ring, then lost the war and faked his own destruction as cover for his TRUE SCHEME.)

This fits in with Michael Aquino's theory that the Elves and Numenoreans were villains with good publicity, and that the true heros of Middle Earth were Morgoth and Sauron, who saved the orcs and trolls from their genocidal savagery.  Switching the ring bought Sauron time to move to the far eastern stretches of Middle Earth, leaving the fractions of forces he used during the War of the Ring as a vanguard, to seek his escape and that of the vast population of Mordor.

FREE MORDOR!!

[Richter]

Mordor, with it's increasing volcanic activity (the Bikini Atol of the 20 ring's development?  Definitely polluted by the sould of the Last Alliance, as in the Dead Marshes) was never going to be a viable long term position.  Although Mordor was a natural stronghold (Switzerland from HELL), the harsh conditions would have always kept it weak in consumables, and a logistical nigthmare to support from outside.  

Using the Haradrim, Corsairs, and Saurman's Uruk Hai to cover the reduction and relocation of the main forces and population of Mordor, he could have easily struck out east.  If they loose, he has no one to pursue him, since Gondor, Rohan and Rivendell all consider him dead.  If they win, he leaves them the western shore as their prize.  

Even if any left realizes how badly they've been screwed, he has effectively reduced his position to 1 front, with the sea of Rhun providing a natural barrier to any pursuit, leaving him with only 1 front to defend, and a new area to exploit for naturl resources to feed his armies.    

[Cain]

David Brin (whose fiction I have never read, but whom I really like as a critic and reviewer) also has something to add:

Ask yourself: "How would Sauron have described the situation?"

And then: "What might 'really' have happened?"

Now ponder something that comes through even the party-line demonization of a crushed enemy -- this clear-cut and undeniable fact: Sauron's army was the one that included every species and race on Middle Earth, including all the despised colors of humanity, and all the lower classes.

Hmm. Did they all leave their homes and march to war thinking, "Oh, goody, let's go serve an evil Dark Lord"?

Or might they instead have thought they were the "good guys," with a justifiable grievance worth fighting for, rebelling against an ancient, rigid, pyramid-shaped, feudal hierarchy topped by invader-alien elfs and their Numenorean-colonialist human lackeys?

Picture, for a moment, Sauron the Eternal Rebel, relentlessly maligned by the victors of the War of the Ring -- the royalists who control the bards and scribes (and moviemakers). Sauron, champion of the common Middle Earthling! Vanquished but still revered by the innumerable poor and oppressed who sit in their squalid huts, wary of the royal secret police with their magical spy-eyes, yet continuing to whisper stories, secretly dreaming and hoping that someday he will return ... bringing more rings.

[Cramulus]

To do:

shop up a che guevara t-shirt with Sarumon's face on it

[Cain]

Of course, this also resonates with me because I'm (attempting) to write a fantasy novel where the nominal hero is not only a jerkass, but essentially a fascist as well.  I've actually got two ideas for that: one is the one I laid out in the other thread, where the existing political system is actually pretty reasonable and decent, and dickwad hero wants to 'bring back' an imaginary golden age - led by him naturally.  And the second will be similar, but instead perhaps told from the eyes of serfs and those who labour at the bottom of such feudal societies, yet are inexplicably portrayed as supporters of the Royalist regimes in such books.

Yeah, I wanna write about Communist peasants.

[Cramulus]

"Help! Help! I'm being repressed!"

[Richter]

Visualize:  Sauron = John McCain.  

That's a more "real world" view of it.  I've yet to read of a real army that marched to war "So the dark evil overlord won't eat my soul YET."

IIRC, in "The Sword of Shanarra", by Terry Brooks, the Troll armies serving Brena (the Big Bad), were explained to be serving him out of fealty and respect for Brena's coordination of their tribes.  
(Sword of Shanarra being one of my favorite LOTR ripoffs)