I can't afford to be a subgenius.
they won't let me leave - help I'm trapped in a Chaos factory.
That's my American dream.
I forgot my myspace password and can't quit the group.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on July 05, 2012, 08:12:58 PM
I can't afford to be a subgenius.
they won't let me leave - help I'm trapped in a Chaos factory.
There's nowhere to leave TO. There IS NO OUTSIDE.
Please keep your screaming to a low roar.
there is no cheesegrater sharp enough to get rid of that tattoo.
I never read the Principia and found out what all this even was about.
it gets a lot of youtubers upset just to think about.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on July 05, 2012, 08:32:52 PM
there is no cheesegrater sharp enough to get rid of that tattoo.
I never read the Principia and found out what all this even was about.
it gets a lot of youtubers upset just to think about.
But when you come right down to it, would you
want to get rid of that tattoo? Would you
want happy youtubers? Do you REALLY want to walk outside during daylight, and see things the way they REALLY are? Do you have some overpowering need to see the glass-bottomed lake that exists where THEY say New York City is? Do you ABSOLUTELY have to see the weird line in the ground that marks the space fold that contains Arizona?
No. You don't. So load up on caffeine and bourbon, and hit the WHAT ARE YOU LISTENINGS TO thread, and pretend that "outside" is something other than a HORRIBLE FUCKING NIGHTMARE...And try not to listen to the scratching noises at your door. And for God's sake, don't open it, whatever you do.
Because of quantum HIGGS BOSON, BITCHES.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on July 05, 2012, 08:41:56 PM
Because of quantum HIGGS BOSON, BITCHES.
You laugh now.
There'll be HIGGS BOSON HEALING by the end of next week, if it hasn't cropped up already.
because you motherfuckers deserve nothing less.
because I'm bringing them all down with me.
because I can't shake the FABULOUS, even when it gives me an erection lasting more than 4 hours.
because the Law of Fives, somehow.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on July 05, 2012, 08:47:10 PM
because you motherfuckers deserve nothing less.
because I'm bringing them all down with me.
because I can't shake the FABULOUS, even when it gives me an erection lasting more than 4 hours.
because the Law of Fives, somehow.
THERE MUST BE 23 WAYS TO LEAVE YOUR LOVER.
I am still a Discordian because I was BORN WRONG and because I am by nature a criminal. Also, it's nice to have people to discuss my horrible fetishes with, because their fetishes are WORSE, so they don't get all grossed out. Hell, LMNO's most vanilla fetish requires metal tongs and a welding helmet, so the shit I do is pretty tame by comparison. It's like watching COPS...No matter how fucked up YOU are, there's always someone even MORE fucked up. Difference is, you can tell who's going to jail on COPS based on whether or not they wear a shirt, and you can tell who's eventually going to jail on PD.com based on whether or not they post.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 05, 2012, 08:47:50 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on July 05, 2012, 08:47:10 PM
because you motherfuckers deserve nothing less.
because I'm bringing them all down with me.
because I can't shake the FABULOUS, even when it gives me an erection lasting more than 4 hours.
because the Law of Fives, somehow.
THERE MUST BE 23 WAYS TO LEAVE YOUR LOVER.
A RUSTY TROMBONE, JOAN
A SANDPAPER HANDY, MANDY
STAB A HIPSTER WITH A PEN, KEN
A TRACHEOTOMY THAT WENT BADLY, HADLEY
...I can.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on July 05, 2012, 08:54:43 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 05, 2012, 08:47:50 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on July 05, 2012, 08:47:10 PM
because you motherfuckers deserve nothing less.
because I'm bringing them all down with me.
because I can't shake the FABULOUS, even when it gives me an erection lasting more than 4 hours.
because the Law of Fives, somehow.
THERE MUST BE 23 WAYS TO LEAVE YOUR LOVER.
A RUSTY TROMBONE, JOAN
A SANDPAPER HANDY, MANDY
STAB A HIPSTER WITH A PEN, KEN
A TRACHEOTOMY THAT WENT BADLY, HADLEY
JUST DON'T GIVE A FUCK, BUCK
MAKE A MECHANICAL MAN, FRAN
because I still make stuffed chard leaves on the regular thanks to LMNO.
because Luna has bribed me with baked goods.
because Roger bought the rights to my name out from under me at a back alley auction.
because in that same auction, I won a free case of Discordia every week for life.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on July 05, 2012, 09:00:50 PM
because Roger bought the rights to my name out from under me at a back alley auction.
I didn't want to...But Nigel said if I didn't get her those rights, she'd pull my spine out through my urethra.
I'm still a Discordian so that I have something to do other than blather my opinion about something I saw on the news that nobody will even remember two weeks from now. I think it SUCKS! Or it's HILARIOUS! I just make sure I HAVE an opinion about every flash in the pan like every other dumbass and then post it on the internet so everyone will know what it is. And I make sure it's sarcastic or ironic so people will know I am cool. Especially if it's a "tragedy," then I say it was a conspiracy and then everybody knows I am also hip.
That celebrity died. Ha ha!
That plane crashed. Ha ha!
That politician said something. What an asshole! Ha ha!
That disaster happened. It's a conspiracy! Ha ha!
See? Tiresome. That's why I'm a Discordian.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 05, 2012, 09:02:10 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on July 05, 2012, 09:00:50 PM
because Roger bought the rights to my name out from under me at a back alley auction.
I didn't want to...But Nigel said if I didn't get her those rights, she'd pull my spine out through my urethra.
She must have been in a good mood.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 05, 2012, 09:06:50 PM
I'm still a Discordian so that I have something to do other than blather my opinion about something I saw on the news that nobody will even remember two weeks from now. I think it SUCKS! Or it's HILARIOUS! I just make sure I HAVE an opinion about every flash in the pan like every other dumbass and then post it on the internet so everyone will know what it is. And I make sure it's sarcastic or ironic so people will know I am cool. Especially if it's a "tragedy," then I say it was a conspiracy and then everybody knows I am also hip.
That celebrity died. Ha ha!
That plane crashed. Ha ha!
That politician said something. What an asshole! Ha ha!
That disaster happened. It's a conspiracy! Ha ha!
See? Tiresome. That's why I'm a Discordian.
Makes sense.
I am not precisely a discordian, because discord will take care of itself and I'm not very good at it besides, but if I were a discordian I would be one because I don't have to be one and still be accepted.
SO THERE, YOU BASTARDS.
...because in a world full of people asking what the meaning of life is, somebody's got to know the answer!
...because I enjoy helping the less fortunate.
...because what the hell ELSE is there to be? Hare Krishna? Fuck.
...because that Groucho Marx gag was REALLY funny, and I'm richer for it.
...because, at parties, when the discussion turns to religion and people are mostly atheists or "Christian, maybe, sort of", perhaps the odd Pastafarian, I can say I'm Discordian and provoke a wide range of different reactions.
...because MysticWicks converted me.
...my head will explode if I have to keep all that rotten shit to myself.
...I still miss the community that Jesus Juice has to offer and this is the closest I can get, and it's pretty rad.
...none of the other religions will let me in anymore.
...I took a wrong turn at Albuquereque.
...Cain's goons have strongarmed me into staying one.
...someone's going to need to do something when the Nessies come, even if it's laugh.
...I came out the other side.
...I'm legally obligated to act as one of Cain's goons after signing an air tight contract.
... atheism is for whiny drama-queen bitches.
... nobody seems to know what agnosticism is.
... there's no other religion which worships a vindictive troll goddess.
... oh, wait. Duh!
... because I've been happily eating beaver asses for a decade and not knowing it.
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on July 05, 2012, 09:13:42 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 05, 2012, 09:02:10 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on July 05, 2012, 09:00:50 PM
because Roger bought the rights to my name out from under me at a back alley auction.
I didn't want to...But Nigel said if I didn't get her those rights, she'd pull my spine out through my urethra.
She must have been in a good mood.
Yeah, she normally doesn't give warnings.
AND THAT'S HOW WE GET BONELESS CHICKEN, KIDS
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 05, 2012, 09:06:50 PM
I'm still a Discordian so that I have something to do other than blather my opinion about something I saw on the news that nobody will even remember two weeks from now. I think it SUCKS! Or it's HILARIOUS! I just make sure I HAVE an opinion about every flash in the pan like every other dumbass and then post it on the internet so everyone will know what it is. And I make sure it's sarcastic or ironic so people will know I am cool. Especially if it's a "tragedy," then I say it was a conspiracy and then everybody knows I am also hip.
That celebrity died. Ha ha!
That plane crashed. Ha ha!
That politician said something. What an asshole! Ha ha!
That disaster happened. It's a conspiracy! Ha ha!
See? Tiresome. That's why I'm a Discordian.
I'm still a Discordian because I post on PD!
...because it's funnier.
Quote from: Hoopla on July 06, 2012, 02:32:07 PM
...because it's funnier.
See, I knew you were still serious about Saturday night.
Welcome back.
Quote from: Hoopla on July 06, 2012, 02:53:08 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 06, 2012, 02:37:30 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on July 06, 2012, 02:32:07 PM
...because it's funnier.
See, I knew you were still serious about Saturday night.
Welcome back.
Thanks Sweetie.
Now maybe my friend Uday will not sob all night, while he does those things to hookers.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 06, 2012, 03:01:49 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on July 06, 2012, 02:53:08 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 06, 2012, 02:37:30 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on July 06, 2012, 02:32:07 PM
...because it's funnier.
See, I knew you were still serious about Saturday night.
Welcome back.
Thanks Sweetie.
Now maybe my friend Uday will not sob all night, while he does those things to hookers.
Somehow I doubt that... I mean sadly I am an optimist, but that's just unrealistic.
Quote from: Hoopla on July 06, 2012, 03:03:08 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 06, 2012, 03:01:49 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on July 06, 2012, 02:53:08 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 06, 2012, 02:37:30 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on July 06, 2012, 02:32:07 PM
...because it's funnier.
See, I knew you were still serious about Saturday night.
Welcome back.
Thanks Sweetie.
Now maybe my friend Uday will not sob all night, while he does those things to hookers.
Somehow I doubt that... I mean sadly I am an optimist, but that's just unrealistic.
He used to smile when he did that, before his papa disappeared a year or so ago. He'd giggle like a loon, and talk about old Uncle Kim.
I think the deaths of all his old poker buddies got him down. Carol Channing can only amuse for so long... what am I saying? She's always amusing.
...my topics can SUMMON HOOPLA BACK FROM THE DEAD.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 06, 2012, 01:41:05 PM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on July 05, 2012, 09:13:42 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 05, 2012, 09:02:10 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on July 05, 2012, 09:00:50 PM
because Roger bought the rights to my name out from under me at a back alley auction.
I didn't want to...But Nigel said if I didn't get her those rights, she'd pull my spine out through my urethra.
She must have been in a good mood.
Yeah, she normally doesn't give warnings.
AND THAT'S HOW WE GET BONELESS CHICKEN, KIDS
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
I'm still a Discordian because BABY, I WAS BORN THIS WAY.
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on July 06, 2012, 04:40:27 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 06, 2012, 01:41:05 PM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on July 05, 2012, 09:13:42 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 05, 2012, 09:02:10 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on July 05, 2012, 09:00:50 PM
because Roger bought the rights to my name out from under me at a back alley auction.
I didn't want to...But Nigel said if I didn't get her those rights, she'd pull my spine out through my urethra.
She must have been in a good mood.
Yeah, she normally doesn't give warnings.
AND THAT'S HOW WE GET BONELESS CHICKEN, KIDS
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
This is why chickens never smile.
They
know what happened to The Little Red Hen.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 06, 2012, 04:42:04 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on July 06, 2012, 04:40:27 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 06, 2012, 01:41:05 PM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on July 05, 2012, 09:13:42 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 05, 2012, 09:02:10 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on July 05, 2012, 09:00:50 PM
because Roger bought the rights to my name out from under me at a back alley auction.
I didn't want to...But Nigel said if I didn't get her those rights, she'd pull my spine out through my urethra.
She must have been in a good mood.
Yeah, she normally doesn't give warnings.
AND THAT'S HOW WE GET BONELESS CHICKEN, KIDS
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
This is why chickens never smile.
They know what happened to The Little Red Hen.
I wouldn't normally say this, but she had it coming. That tiny scarf and the hipster glasses were bad enough, but when she made that comment about being into Belle and Sebastian before they were popular it sent me over the edge.
...because...
Because:
I walk 47 miles of barbed wire.
I use a cobra-snake for a necktie.
I got a brand new house on the roadside,
made from rattlesnake hide.
I got a brand new chimney made on top,
made out of a human skull.
I got a tombstone hand and a graveyard mind.
I'm just 39 and I do very, very much mind dyin'.
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on July 06, 2012, 04:44:20 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 06, 2012, 04:42:04 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on July 06, 2012, 04:40:27 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 06, 2012, 01:41:05 PM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on July 05, 2012, 09:13:42 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 05, 2012, 09:02:10 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on July 05, 2012, 09:00:50 PM
because Roger bought the rights to my name out from under me at a back alley auction.
I didn't want to...But Nigel said if I didn't get her those rights, she'd pull my spine out through my urethra.
She must have been in a good mood.
Yeah, she normally doesn't give warnings.
AND THAT'S HOW WE GET BONELESS CHICKEN, KIDS
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
This is why chickens never smile.
They know what happened to The Little Red Hen.
I wouldn't normally say this, buy she had it coming. That tiny scarf and the hipster glasses sent me over the edge.
ATTN, MEMBERS OF PD: Don't be frightened, it's only SCIENCE. And she's way the fuck up in Portland, so you're safe until the hipsters run out. Please return to your regularly scheduled entertainment. There is no cause for alarm.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 06, 2012, 04:46:03 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on July 06, 2012, 04:44:20 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 06, 2012, 04:42:04 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on July 06, 2012, 04:40:27 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 06, 2012, 01:41:05 PM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on July 05, 2012, 09:13:42 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 05, 2012, 09:02:10 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on July 05, 2012, 09:00:50 PM
because Roger bought the rights to my name out from under me at a back alley auction.
I didn't want to...But Nigel said if I didn't get her those rights, she'd pull my spine out through my urethra.
She must have been in a good mood.
Yeah, she normally doesn't give warnings.
AND THAT'S HOW WE GET BONELESS CHICKEN, KIDS
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
This is why chickens never smile.
They know what happened to The Little Red Hen.
I wouldn't normally say this, buy she had it coming. That tiny scarf and the hipster glasses sent me over the edge.
ATTN, MEMBERS OF PD: Don't be frightened, it's only SCIENCE. And she's way the fuck up in Portland, so you're safe until the hipsters run out. Please return to your regularly scheduled entertainment. There is no cause for alarm.
I GOT MY BOOTS ON AND GAS IN MY TANK.
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on July 06, 2012, 04:47:55 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 06, 2012, 04:46:03 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on July 06, 2012, 04:44:20 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 06, 2012, 04:42:04 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on July 06, 2012, 04:40:27 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 06, 2012, 01:41:05 PM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on July 05, 2012, 09:13:42 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 05, 2012, 09:02:10 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on July 05, 2012, 09:00:50 PM
because Roger bought the rights to my name out from under me at a back alley auction.
I didn't want to...But Nigel said if I didn't get her those rights, she'd pull my spine out through my urethra.
She must have been in a good mood.
Yeah, she normally doesn't give warnings.
AND THAT'S HOW WE GET BONELESS CHICKEN, KIDS
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
This is why chickens never smile.
They know what happened to The Little Red Hen.
I wouldn't normally say this, buy she had it coming. That tiny scarf and the hipster glasses sent me over the edge.
ATTN, MEMBERS OF PD: Don't be frightened, it's only SCIENCE. And she's way the fuck up in Portland, so you're safe until the hipsters run out. Please return to your regularly scheduled entertainment. There is no cause for alarm.
I GOT MY BOOTS ON AND GAS IN MY TANK.
There is no need to rush for the lifeboats, citizens. There is room for everyone. Please form orderly lines, with the first class passengers to the left. Steerage passengers are to remain below decks until summoned to board their lifeboats.
Wait! I'm still a Discordian?! Stupid deprogramming courses never work...
Quote from: wlfjstr on July 06, 2012, 09:27:31 PM
Wait! I'm still a Discordian?! Stupid deprogramming courses never work...
The virus hides in the bootstrap, and reinstalls itself when they turn you back on.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 06, 2012, 09:33:08 PM
Quote from: wlfjstr on July 06, 2012, 09:27:31 PM
Wait! I'm still a Discordian?! Stupid deprogramming courses never work...
The virus hides in the bootstrap, and reinstalls itself when they turn you back on.
That's what I LOVE about it!!!!!
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 06, 2012, 04:49:32 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on July 06, 2012, 04:47:55 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 06, 2012, 04:46:03 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on July 06, 2012, 04:44:20 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 06, 2012, 04:42:04 PM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on July 06, 2012, 04:40:27 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 06, 2012, 01:41:05 PM
Quote from: The Freeky of SCIENCE! on July 05, 2012, 09:13:42 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on July 05, 2012, 09:02:10 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on July 05, 2012, 09:00:50 PM
because Roger bought the rights to my name out from under me at a back alley auction.
I didn't want to...But Nigel said if I didn't get her those rights, she'd pull my spine out through my urethra.
She must have been in a good mood.
Yeah, she normally doesn't give warnings.
AND THAT'S HOW WE GET BONELESS CHICKEN, KIDS
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
This is why chickens never smile.
They know what happened to The Little Red Hen.
I wouldn't normally say this, buy she had it coming. That tiny scarf and the hipster glasses sent me over the edge.
ATTN, MEMBERS OF PD: Don't be frightened, it's only SCIENCE. And she's way the fuck up in Portland, so you're safe until the hipsters run out. Please return to your regularly scheduled entertainment. There is no cause for alarm.
I GOT MY BOOTS ON AND GAS IN MY TANK.
There is no need to rush for the lifeboats, citizens. There is room for everyone. Please form orderly lines, with the first class passengers to the left. Steerage passengers are to remain below decks until summoned to board their lifeboats.
Heyyy now, no need to run, gentle citizens!
...because when someone gives up my name in a police interrogation, I want it be Pope Alouicious Von Olly-Olly-Oxen-Free
...Because I don't want to stop picking at it
...Because I don't want it to heal
...my religious burial rites include being scattered upwind of a big city whilst "CHOKE ON IT YOU BASTARDS" is screamed.
... I can see the fnords and believe I can get other people to start noticing them too.
...because Discordianism puts sitting naked with seven other naked people in a sofa, watching Triumph of the Will while listening to Woodstock '69 into perspective.