ITT BAD jokes.

[Jasper]

WATCH ME.

also, I less-than-three this whole thread.

[Rococo Modem Basilisk]

Q: What's the difference between a chicken?
A: To get to the side!

Q: What do you call a murderer that has fibre?
A: A cereal killer.

What kind of tree can you wear? A fir coat.
What kind of rain has presents? A bridal shower.
What do you call a good-looking taxi? A hansom cab.
What do you call a perforated relic? A holey grail.
What kind of pig can you ignore at a party? A wild bore.

[cavehamster]

Ah, chickens.

Why did the chicken cross the playground?  To get to the other slide.

[cavehamster]

Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie, each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous. A night of tall tales begins.

The first says, "I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground, by the horns, with my bare hands."

The second can't stand to be bested. "Why that's nothing. I was walking down the trail yesterday and a fifteen foot rattler slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that snake with my bare hands, bit its head off, and sucked the poison down in one gulp. And I'm still here today."

The third cowboy remained silent, slowly stirring the coals of the campfire with his penis.

[Dimocritus]

What's the difference between jam and jelly?

You can't "jelly" a dick into your girlfriend's ass.

This is one of my favorite jokes of all time. I actually made 20 bucks once for telling this joke. And the other night, I was making toast and jelly, and a female friend asked the same question in all seriousness, I couldn't even make it to the punch-line. I just started laughing and she was all like "what's so funny?"

[Dimocritus]

What method did Dracula use to arrange his furniture?

Fang Shuei


I just made that up. I wantz a cookie.

[Dr. Paes]

[Dimocritus]

Wow, those are some friggin scary cookies 
Thnx

[Suu]

A naked blond walks into a bar, with a poodle under one arm, and a two foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table. Bartender says, "I suppose you won't be needing a drink." The naked lady says...

[Rococo Modem Basilisk]

A mad social scientists kidnaps three of his colleagues: an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician. He locks them in individual cells with stacks of unopened cans of food, a pencil, and no can openers.

After three weeks he checks on them.

The engineer's cell is long empty. It appears that he made an explosive out of the junk in his pocket, got out, and took all the food.

The physicist has calculated on the floor of his cell the precise angle to cleanly open a can by throwing it at the wall, and now has a strong throwing arm and a wall covered with baked beans.

In the mathematician's cell, the cans are stacked neatly in the corner. In front of the mathematician's dessicated corpse is written:

Theorem: If I do not open these cans, I will die.
Proof:
Assume the opposite.

[Dimocritus]

A naked blond walks into a bar, with a poodle under one arm, and a two foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table. Bartender says, "I suppose you won't be needing a drink." The naked lady says...

I think that one went right over my head.

[Telarus]

A naked blond walks into a bar, with a poodle under one arm, and a two foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table. Bartender says, "I suppose you won't be needing a drink." The naked lady says...

I think that one went right over my head.

It's a joke from the Breakfast Club where a character gets cut off (falls out of the ventilation ducts) before getting a chance to say the punchline.

[AFK]

Why did the hippy try out for the gymnastics team?

He heard they were looking for someone who was double jointed. 

[PeregrineBF]

They chose an epsilon so small it was negative!

[President Television]

Forgetful Freddy was so forgetful that when he tried to remember someone's name, he drew a blank.