OPEN BAR: 50 Shades of Chronic Liver Disease

[Salty]

On one hand I could use some physical human contact I'm not getting paid for.

On the other, filthy stink-monkeys are filthy and stinky monkeys.

Congrats, Nigel.

[Salty]

I celebrated the rising of Our Lord with margaritas. Still considering if that was the best course of action.

[Salty]

I haven't had much to say about anything, and very little that I feel passion for, which is why I haven't been on much.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I have had a fairly good weekend. Went to the Hoot, which is a good old-fashioned hootenanny. The good news: I'm going to the next two Hoots. The bad news: there will only be two more Hoots, because the property the old barn is on, which used to be in the middle of the country, is now at the edge of the city and has been sold to developers.

Hung out on the porch drinking cheap beer and singing with my housemates for a couple hours. Woke up with a hangover, and went to geology, where mercifully, someone seems to have told GoogleEarth "Broham" Einstein to shut his stupid-leaker before they popped him in it, because he didn't pipe up with a single "theory" based on the fact that he has an internet connection and endless free time.

Checked my email and discovered that they've posted my degrees. I am officially an Associate of Art & Science and I graduated on the President's List. Not bad for a chick who didn't even have a GED two years ago.

Now I'm procrastinating chemistry homework.

Congratulations!

Thanks!

I feel like I am on the right path. If I get this Ford scholarship I'll be able to really relax and devote myself to my studies without having to stress about money. My hope is that I'll be able to excel over the next two years, and perhaps win a Ford Fellowship, which would allow me to study anything I want at any school I want.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I haven't had much to say about anything, and very little that I feel passion for, which is why I haven't been on much.

Aw. I hope you get through it soon. I don't know if it's divorce-related, but one of the things I hated about ending long-term relationships is that there seems to be this directionless ennui that sets in after the grief has mostly ended.

[Pæs]

What the hell, future? I've finally got a watch I can make phone calls with like 007, with a built-in camera and voice-activated world clock. It sends emails and also functions as a pedometer and IT'S POINTLESS.

IF I HAVE TO BRING MY WATCH UP TO MY FACE TO COMMUNICATE, IT DOESN'T COUNT AS HANDS-FREE AND I MIGHT AS WELL JUST HOLD MY DAMN PHONE AND NOT SHARE THE CALL WITH EVERYONE NEARBY.

And what non-creepy uses are there for a camera-watch? Which non-pervert finds themselves thinking "Here is a situation I would like to capture an image of, but I won't capture this image with my high-quality yet obvious camera, I will capture it with my lower-quality covert watch lens instead because not being detected is more important than image quality."

HEY WATCH, YOU WILL NEVER HAVE A LARGE ENOUGH SCREEN FOR ME TO READ EMAILS ON. WHAT IS THE USE CASE FOR THIS? WHO ARE YOU DESIGNED FOR?

There's a serious computer in my watch which could do amazing things if someone would just tell it to, but instead they're trying to duplicate the functionality of the phone it needs to connect to to function. WHAT'S THIS ON MY WRIST? OH, REDUNDANCY.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

Hello, I am back.  I am feeling entirely too well to be at work, which is never a good sign.  Mike the engineer was trying to explain something about maximum temperatures for confined space entry, and I was trying to explain to him that I wrote the procedure.  This led Lilly to ask where I got my information because it's very inconvenient that we have to let things cool down for 96 hours, and a 150C shouldn't be TOO bad, if they laid cardboard down to crawl on.

Naturally, I refused.  Mike was getting more and more agitated.  People were getting information from people who weren't him.  He started making a low keening noise, like a starving dog....It make us all look at him in horror.  The poor bastard had reached crush depth, and it was only 7:45AM on a Monday.  He had blood in his nose, and his eyes were rolling around and around and around, trying to look at everyone at once.  Baby Engineer and I were trying to quietly make book on whether or not he was having a stroke, when he suddenly vomited all over the table, killing the PC projector, which shorted to death on his vomit without a single spark or pop.  It just quietly died.

Mike began screaming about how nobody respects his knowledge and his PE stamp, with blood streaming out of his nose and vomit caked on his chin and shirt.  Then he ran out the door and got into his truck, and roared out of the parking lot, howling all the way.

All of this made dealing with the residual brain flukes easier, let me tell you.  I was just a paranoid asshole with a headache.  Mike was doing a full-on nervous breakdown wobbler, old school.  It's made me like him a little.  Almost.

Holy shit, that's amazing! 

Holy shit, I can't believe I missed this! 

Also congrats Nigel!! Success WOOOO!
Also also- I have no idea what a hootnanny is other than what you get when you mix an owl and a goat, but it sounds fun?

[Pæs]

Handy, my wrist just vibrated to alert me to a txt message!

Wait, so did my phone. OKAY, I GET IT.

[LMNO]

Nigel, I don't say this often enough:


You can be infuriating, you can be stubborn, and you can be rude.  Nevertheless, you're one of the most awesome and wonderful people I've ever known. Congrats. You deserve it.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I have had a fairly good weekend. Went to the Hoot, which is a good old-fashioned hootenanny. The good news: I'm going to the next two Hoots. The bad news: there will only be two more Hoots, because the property the old barn is on, which used to be in the middle of the country, is now at the edge of the city and has been sold to developers.

Hung out on the porch drinking cheap beer and singing with my housemates for a couple hours. Woke up with a hangover, and went to geology, where mercifully, someone seems to have told GoogleEarth "Broham" Einstein to shut his stupid-leaker before they popped him in it, because he didn't pipe up with a single "theory" based on the fact that he has an internet connection and endless free time.

Checked my email and discovered that they've posted my degrees. I am officially an Associate of Art & Science and I graduated on the President's List. Not bad for a chick who didn't even have a GED two years ago.

Now I'm procrastinating chemistry homework.

Congratulations!

Thanks!

I feel like I am on the right path. If I get this Ford scholarship I'll be able to really relax and devote myself to my studies without having to stress about money. My hope is that I'll be able to excel over the next two years, and perhaps win a Ford Fellowship, which would allow me to study anything I want at any school I want.

[Pæs]

Nigel is pretty badass, tbh and puts to shame students who don't also have to be functional adults.

[Suu]

Air Force buddy of mine decided to drop in for a few days while he checks out the area before maybe transferring to Pease. There is drunk.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Hello, I am back.  I am feeling entirely too well to be at work, which is never a good sign.  Mike the engineer was trying to explain something about maximum temperatures for confined space entry, and I was trying to explain to him that I wrote the procedure.  This led Lilly to ask where I got my information because it's very inconvenient that we have to let things cool down for 96 hours, and a 150C shouldn't be TOO bad, if they laid cardboard down to crawl on.

Naturally, I refused.  Mike was getting more and more agitated.  People were getting information from people who weren't him.  He started making a low keening noise, like a starving dog....It make us all look at him in horror.  The poor bastard had reached crush depth, and it was only 7:45AM on a Monday.  He had blood in his nose, and his eyes were rolling around and around and around, trying to look at everyone at once.  Baby Engineer and I were trying to quietly make book on whether or not he was having a stroke, when he suddenly vomited all over the table, killing the PC projector, which shorted to death on his vomit without a single spark or pop.  It just quietly died.

Mike began screaming about how nobody respects his knowledge and his PE stamp, with blood streaming out of his nose and vomit caked on his chin and shirt.  Then he ran out the door and got into his truck, and roared out of the parking lot, howling all the way.

All of this made dealing with the residual brain flukes easier, let me tell you.  I was just a paranoid asshole with a headache.  Mike was doing a full-on nervous breakdown wobbler, old school.  It's made me like him a little.  Almost.

Glad you're back. Holy Shit Biscuits, Mike's done gone over the edge. Is it time to bust out the champagne? Wow.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

I have had a fairly good weekend. Went to the Hoot, which is a good old-fashioned hootenanny. The good news: I'm going to the next two Hoots. The bad news: there will only be two more Hoots, because the property the old barn is on, which used to be in the middle of the country, is now at the edge of the city and has been sold to developers.

Hung out on the porch drinking cheap beer and singing with my housemates for a couple hours. Woke up with a hangover, and went to geology, where mercifully, someone seems to have told GoogleEarth "Broham" Einstein to shut his stupid-leaker before they popped him in it, because he didn't pipe up with a single "theory" based on the fact that he has an internet connection and endless free time.

Checked my email and discovered that they've posted my degrees. I am officially an Associate of Art & Science and I graduated on the President's List. Not bad for a chick who didn't even have a GED two years ago.

Now I'm procrastinating chemistry homework.

That sounds like a great weekend. Congrats on the awesome, Nigel. Excellent work. Soon you will be ruling over us from your space lab in space.

[Pæs]

BY THE POWER OF WOMP, I HAVE MODDED FLAPPY BIRD INTO A KIWI.

[redacted]